Partners with unhealthy diets

leannems

This one is easy - He's cooks! Let him cook what he wants for him, and you make what you want for you!

You can also try to make your together time less about eating and drinking and more about things that won't affect your health. This has been hard for me, but we now focus more on what we're doing when we're social vs. where we're eating or drinking.

Seraaa92

The only advice I can give is maybe have a much smaller portion of the food he cooks? Small plates are wonderful because I find it kind of tricks your mind in to thinking it was a big plate. Hope I'm making sense and good luck! = ) xx

kym117

My husband is terrible! His typical day's food is:
Breakfast: cup of tea (at weekend a cream cookie and two rolls on sliced sausage)
12pm: Multi pack of crisps (normally 6-8), 2 chocolate bars, two munch bunch yoghurts and a carton of ribena!
Dinner: Bowl of his own homemade Macaroni Cheese involves around 5x quantity of pasta I would find a appropriate and half a block of mild cheese.
Snack: Large Bar of Galaxy Chocolate or similar junk.

There is no fruit or vegetables in his diet at all. I don't cook for him as he is such a fussy eater and I eat very little meat and live on fruit and veg. I once asked him to join MFP with me but his daily calories came to between 3000/4000 calories a day. The best part is you would imagine him to be seriously overweight but he isn't although does have a tummy.

I figure we should all be held responsible for our own descisions of what we put in our body and I know if I ate a portion of that I would be very seriously overweight, but some mornings I could kill for his cream cookie lol!

melbot24

I have this exact same problem with my boyfriend.
He has no concern about what he eats.
And he NEVER exercises.
He drinks a lot of beer mostly dark stouts, porters, eats candy, cupcakes, drinks soda, sugary coffee drinks, sneaks away to eat at greasy food trucks or fast food joints. Oh and LOVES bacon.

Anyway...
It's important that he knows you're concerned about his health.
Anytime I encourage my bf to eat better, I speak in terms of my want for him to be healthy.

Think about it this way, if he keeps eating like that, doesn't take care of himself, he might start experiencing health problems, who's going to have to take care of him and suffer the burden of all his bad choices?
If you're in it for the long haul, this is something to think about.

That being said, you can't force someone to eat better and be healthy, but you can INSPIRE someone to be these things.

That's the goal with my boyfriend, I know once he sees me get to my goal weight and observes all benefits of being in-shape, he'll want it for himself.

Until then, all I can do is show concern for his health, but ultimately, he has to make his own decisions.

I know it's hard to be around all that temptation, so talk to him, tell him that he's making it that much harder for you and I'm sure he will want to help..

txgoodson

I think I inadvertently found a way to motivate my husband to change: scare him.

I needed my blood pressure reading for a school assignment, so I drug him along with me to a retail pharmacy on Sunday. After watching me (the significantly overweight one) get a normal reading, he took his own out of curiosity. It was very high. Enough to visibly scare him, and he actually went for a short walk with me later that evening, and says he might come again.

The majority of our diet problem comes from increasing the amount we eat out or rely on processed foods. In his case, because he works 55 hours a week and doesn't want to take the time to pack himself a lunch. Me, because I went back to school this semester and am not cooking as often.

My goal starting this week is to find and actually cook healthy things DH and I like four nights a week. The new slow-cooker thread in the recipe section should help.

shana_phoenix83

My husband is the same way, and I have found that there are actually a lot of dinners that I can make that he can enjoy (usually by adding a ton of cheese), and that are still relatively healthy for me. For example, he loves nachos. I have found that he can't tell the difference when I make lean ground turkey. I then put mine on lettuce for a salad or I put it on a whole wheat tortilla with salsa. I put his on chips and smother it with cheese. I have found that adjusting the same meal for both of us works most of the time.

clareeast

My husband probably needs to lose more weight than I do - but he doesn't seem to care! He has piled on the pounds since he stopped smoking - we had to buy him a new suit for a job interview last month and the biggest (long) trousers they had are actually 2 inches too small in the waist!

He names his two staple food groups as beer and cheese, and although I try very hard to restrict the supply of these (and crisps, and chocolate biscuits!), if they're in the house they don't last long!!

I do most of the cooking and usually cook in a low-fat way, but he eats HUGE portions - more than double what a "normal" adult would eat.

Part of the issue is his routine - he never eats breakfast (goes to work at 5.30am); comes in from work at about 2.30pm and eats 4 slices of bread, spread with butter, and thickly sliced cheese (first choice!) or a huge quantity of sandwich meat; goes to fetch the kids from school and buys a pasty and/or some chocolate at the corner shop. Eats a massive dinner at about 6.30/7 pm and sits in front of the tv till bed time at 9.30/10pm. He walks several miles a day whilst at work, but does very little other exercise. When you work out his calorie intake, it's a little high, but nothing that an active individual shouldn't be able to work off, but his pattern of eating has his metabolism messed up!

Just to compound the issue, both my kids register as "underweight" and the older one is one medication for ADHD which suppresses appetite, so their meals need to be "calorie laden". Life would be so much easier if one could remove the weight from the parents and transfer it to the children!! (But maybe not all of it!)

robinogue

I just make him what he wants and eat what I want. Not to much of an issue. My diet is mine. Not his.

this..... my husband and I rarely eat the same meals...

lizzardsm

Agh I'm in the same situation! My fiance just eats whatever he wants (and has gained weight) while I'm struggling to lose the same weight! I do most of the cooking and grocery shopping so on my days to cook we eat really healthy. It's my days off that things don't well. He rarely cooks and prefers to order in which means - super temptations to order unhealthy or binge on sushi. Unfortunately for me, my body is SUPER resistant to weight loss. I've been encouraging him to go to the gym with me or get healthy (he wants to but isn't ready yet). I can't cook every night (I'll go crazy!) so I've just been trying to lessen the damage when it's his food choice. We had a brunch at home the other day and while he ate tons of them topped with nutella (omg yum), I ate 2 small plain pancakes and had a greek yogurt with honey & blueberries. When I logged it, I was under 400 cals for the meal! It felt great to finally find some balance where I can still eat some bad foods with him, mixed with good ones too!

sc1572

bump...would love ideas!

halejr23

Baby steps. Slowly introduce him to some of the healthy foods you are eating. Make it a challenge for him when cooking. Ask/challenge him to make a tasty and healthy meal. Guys like challenges!
I worked on my better half slowly for about a year and she gradually started eating less crap and more of the healthier foods I was eating. Now, I am proud to say, she is looking for healthy alternatives and has cut WAY back on soda and sweets - substituting in water, juice and fruit.

ShanniLee

Any tips on how to deal with partners that have no concerns about what they eat? I know that ultimately I am solely responsible for what I put in my mouth, but many times I've found my efforts thwarted by situations(fried foods) that I normally wouldn't be exposed to unless my boyfriend was around. He loves to cook and if it isn't delicious(which for him equals crispy, salty, cheesy, and topped with bacon), he wont eat it.

Are we dating the same guy?? Lmao my boyfriend is exactly the same way!!!! ALWAYS adds extra cheese and bacon!!!

EpiGaiaRepens

just make seperate meals. Or eat smaller portions. My sweetie is a big ol' meat eater and I'm a vegetarain. When he grills himself a steak, he is also grilling veggies/tempeh/boca burgers for me. I guess maybe because we've always cooked our own meals, or always had differnet things on our plates when we sat down, it doesnt seem like that big of a deal to me. I make him cheesy and beefy enchiladas while making vegan enchiladas for me. He even started eating a little better- you know like having salad once in a while.

EpiGaiaRepens

ooh! another thing! In terms of cals in and cals out and net cals, maybe you could also shoot for being more active. Maybe y'all are pigging out, but are you also going on long romantic walks? Playing sports together? Dancing? You know...physical "stuff"? That adds up as well

lsapphire

If you can't avoid it, just eat small portions and drink a large glass of water 1/2 hour b4? I finally got my spouse involved and he lost 15 lbs in 3 weeks and even tells me when he eats something not on his plan at work!!! I am so proud of him

BAMFMeredith

I've basically tailored the food in our house to meet both of our needs. He isn't trying to lose weight, but I am. I sat my bf down and told him look, we both need to be eating healthy foods to set a good example for my son (he's 5), so we're not keeping crap in our house. Sometimes, we'll get something together that's not so good for us, but it's a treat and I plan for it in my calorie intake. The good thing is, he doesn't cook or do the grocery shopping, so it's pretty easy for me to control what kind of food is in our house.

When it comes to take out or drive through stuff, I'm actually SUPER proud of him for making the changes I've made too. I don't begrudge him a cheeseburger here or some bacon there, but since explaining to him how much it helps me when he makes healthy changes too, he's been awesome. He actually thanked me for helping him eat healthier too, and he's started hitting the gym with me as well. Making it kind of a team effort to be really healthy and fit has made it easier for him to opt for a grilled chicken salad rather than a burger and fries if we're driving through somewhere. Instead of grabbing breakfast tacos, now he has a whole grain bagel with peanut butter on it. It helps if I fix it for him and hand it to him before he heads out the door for work in the morning so he doesn't have to worry about it. Sure, he can take care of himself, but come on guys, don't act like you don't like it when your girl fixes food for you

Also, our 10 year high school reunion just got announced for September (we graduated together) so he's feeling the same pressure I am to look good haha

tryshaantonelli

I make whatever is healthy and good for me and if my husband doesnt want to eat it, then thats too bad for him. he usually makes a PB&J or stopps at BurgerKing on the way home. I figure if I am going to do the cooking, I'll be damned if I'm going to put all that effort into making something thats not even good for me.
I do try to cook things that are healthy that he will also eat, but i can only grill so much chicken breast. I also use the 'steam in a bag' frozen veggies to add healthy filling veggies to my plate and he doesn't have to eat it if he doesn;t want to.
As for him bringing temptations into the house, tell him to leave it in the car. if he wants to eat it, fine. just eat it in the car so its far away from you.

jenluvsushi

I can totally relate. My hubby has the metabolism of a teenager ...he can eat crappy fast food all day long and actually lose weight. It is sooo not fair. It ticks me off that he is so insensitive and clueless as to how hard this is for me....for example, if I were to refuse to drive through a fast food place for him to get food he would be pissed. I have had to gain a ton of willpower being with him. Luckily, he likes what we make for dinner as a family which usually consists of lean meat, some sort of carb (which I tend to pass on as I normally only eat them at breakfast and lunch) and veggies. He can add all the junk he wants to his food but mine pretty much stays clean this way. I normally only cook meat once or twice a week in large batches so all I have to do is weigh it out and throw it on my spinach salad for dinner....it's pretty easy actually. We go to breakfast every Sunday and I have my cheat meal for the week....other than that, I try to stick to my plan. If we eat outside of the meat and veggies box (like pasta)...it takes a little more planning on my part (like spaghetti squash for me instead of the pasta). Sometimes we eat a completely different meal....and that may be what it takes for a while. If you really want it, you can make it happen!

Busyboymomx3

I just make him what he wants and eat what I want. Not to much of an issue. My diet is mine. Not his.

this..... my husband and I rarely eat the same meals...

this- except if he wont eat what I'm making- he can make his own food

NoAdditives

Any tips on how to deal with partners that have no concerns about what they eat? I know that ultimately I am solely responsible for what I put in my mouth, but many times I've found my efforts thwarted by situations(fried foods) that I normally wouldn't be exposed to unless my boyfriend was around. He loves to cook and if it isn't delicious(which for him equals crispy, salty, cheesy, and topped with bacon), he wont eat it.

Throughout the week I'm pretty good about exercise and diet (calories goals are met and exercise goals exceeded), but I throw caution to the wind when he comes around on the weekends. Having all of that temptation and happiness is overwhelming, and on Mondays I feel like I have to compensate for all the slip ups. I've gotten better about it because health for me has been prioritized, but it's still difficult and I sometimes feel resentful towards him.

So, although I assume all responsibility, how can I make it easier to get through the weekends with a partner that loves bacon? (Haha, I love bacon, too).

Are you going to eat "perfectly" for the rest of your life? Or will you occasionally indulge in otherwise unhealthy foods? If you plan on indulging once you lose the weight you can indulge while you're losing the weight. Use this time to teach yourself how to indulge responsibly.

I indulge and it hasn't stopped me from losing weight.