Will I ever feel like a sexual being again??

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sherri85
sherri85 Posts: 148 Member
in Motivation and Support
Here is my story... I am a 44 year old divorced woman who has ate to cover up alot of pain in my life... I was married for 12 years to a man who abused me not physically but mentally and emotionally. We have been divorced for over a year now and I am loosing weight and feeling better about myself and more secure in my own skin. However after life with my ex husband, for reasons I can't go into on here I was completly turned off of sex!! He literally made me sick when he touched me that way for the last three years of our marriage. Now that I am loosing weight and getting healthy I wonder if I will ever want to be with a man in that way again.. I don't want to be alone the rest of my life and I very much long for a relationship but I still can't imagine myself being in a physical relationship and don't really desire that part of a relationship.. I hope that with time and when I get this weight off it will change but Im not sure... Anyone on MFP ever been in this situation? If so I would like to hear from you... :cry:
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Replies

  • UponThisRock
    UponThisRock Posts: 4,522 Member
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    Have you tried the V thread?
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,887 Member
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    Have you tried the V thread?
    He's not kidding. If that doesn't reawaken you as a sexual being, nothing will.

    Whew! I think I may need a moment of privacy now.
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
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    Yes, you will feel it again, it will just take time. I highly suggest therapy (I was in an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship and it helped me) if you have not gotten any yet.

    Take your time, get happy with you and learn to love yourself again.

    Lesa

    And I will agree, that V thread is something else. hehehe
  • ampa916
    ampa916 Posts: 189 Member
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    I have never really been in a similar situation. But I do think that if you meet the right person without worrying about if you'll have be able to have "that" kind of connection it could just happen naturally. I think that once you get your confidence up and maybe just start meeting new people or reconnecting with old ones, that a spark will start somewhere and eventually you will be able to have that again.

    I am very sorry about the abuse you had to deal with but I must say congrats for getting out of that unhealthy and dangerous relationship and taking your life back!
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    You may need to go to therapy. I don't know if just losing weight will be enough to heal and recover from a relationship like that.
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    Yes, you will feel it again when you least expect it. It will take time though. Just focus on healing emotionally (losing weight is part of this) and see where life takes you.

    Good luck!
  • SimplyShanRunning
    SimplyShanRunning Posts: 885 Member
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    Have you tried the V thread?

    best advice!!!

    Please go visit.....this should help moisten things up a bit for you :wink:
  • Charliesuccess
    Charliesuccess Posts: 181 Member
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    You will definetly get your MoJo back, as you begin to fall in love with the new you!
  • sherri85
    sherri85 Posts: 148 Member
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    Thanks guys Im thinking therapy may not be a bad idea!! I never thought I would need a "shrink" lol but guess I do.. It sure couldn't hurt!! :wink:
  • leannems
    leannems Posts: 516 Member
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    First, I am sorry that you went through an abusive relationship. That's never easy, and I want to congratulate you for coming out the other side.

    Second - and I cannot recommend this enough - therapy, maybe even a psychiatrist. Therapy has saved my life before, and I am sure it can bring some sex back into yours, IF that's what you decide you ultimately want. I do think there are some loving relationships that don't include sex - it's just whatever the two individuals need.
  • garita93
    garita93 Posts: 276 Member
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    Have you tried the V thread?
    He's not kidding. If that doesn't reawaken you as a sexual being, nothing will.

    Whew! I think I may need a moment of privacy now.

    ok, what is the V thread?
  • sherri85
    sherri85 Posts: 148 Member
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    Have you tried the V thread?

    best advice!!!

    Please go visit.....this should help moisten things up a bit for you :wink:
    Lol you guys are hilarious!!! I must check it out :blushing:
  • brentrhodes
    brentrhodes Posts: 139
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    I agree that the first thing you need to put on the radar is a Dr's visit. Hormones, baggage, abuse, poor body image...all of those things will take there toll on your sex drive. You need to rediscover who you are and realize how valuable you are. You're a beautiful woman that needs to be sharing your positive side with someone special, in due time.
  • princessruthiebelle
    princessruthiebelle Posts: 165 Member
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    try not to worry!!!!
    just concentrate on loving yourself for now! enjoy looking FABULOUS!! and in time you'll find prince charming ;)
    go out with your girls and be proud of everything you have achieved! you sound like an amazing lady! you are very strong!! x
  • MyFeistyEvolution
    MyFeistyEvolution Posts: 1,015 Member
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    1. Therapy is beneficial.. I think a lot of times people see it as taboo but it's just an unbias outlet to help sort things out.

    2. I concur about the V thread. Hot damn. :blushing:
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,468 Member
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    I agree with finding a doctor to help you sort out your issues. But FIRST, do as rock said, sneak over to the "V" thread... *drooooooool*
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,887 Member
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    Here you go:
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/557644-men-and-women-proud-or-your-v-show-it
  • harley0269
    harley0269 Posts: 384 Member
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    :love:
  • JSMSDSAS05
    JSMSDSAS05 Posts: 136 Member
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    yeah im clueless too.........what's the V thread?
  • skinnywithin
    skinnywithin Posts: 1,392 Member
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    Have you tried the V thread?
    He's not kidding. If that doesn't reawaken you as a sexual being, nothing will.

    Whew! I think I may need a moment of privacy now.

    ok, what is the V thread?

    OH you need to find that thread...IT WAS HOTT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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