So Upset...

cellorocker

So, it's a beautiful day outside- 75 degrees, a nice little breeze. So, I started riding my bike around the park, I notice a few people there, but I wasn't wearing my glasses, and I didn't recognize them.
Once I rode my bike down to where the people were sitting, I saw it was three couples from school. I only knew one couple, the girl was in my PE class, and the boy was in band with my sister.
As I rode right by them, they were having this huge make-out fest. It was so gross. I just rode by and said to myself "What the heck, I'll just ignore them."
Then, I finished the lap, and passed by them again, and one said "Fat *ss" as I rode by. I braked, turned around and said "Excuse me?"
And the guy was like "Fat *ss" and another guy was like "No, she's a lard *ss." And the girl I knew, the ONLY person who was ever nice to me in PE class started laughing so hard. I just got back on my bike, started riding again, did one more lap, and then right when I was going by, they yelled "LARD *SS" in unison.
I was so embarrassed. My first day out exercising for the summer, and I'm getting called name by people who don't even know me?
I only got to bike for 1.5 miles... and only 13 minutes. I want to go back later, but I hope they aren't there.
Have you guys ever had this happen? How did you get past it?
I'm not one who likes the whole in-your-face motivation. I need gentle reassurance.
The only thing their name-calling did was make me cry when I got home. It doesn't motivate me, it just makes me sad and feel like a failure.
:sad:

tech_sarah

I used to get made fun of when I was younger. It did hurt, and maybe thats why I dont have that much confidence, but you cant let those type of people know they get you down. They thrive on it. The only thing to do is just keep your head up and use the hurt and anger as a driving force to keep going. Youre doing this for you, not them, and you'll feel better if you don't let them interrupt your goals.
Hope you have a great day-and go for another bike ride!:drinker:

adopt4

Don't listen to them. You can't. There will always be immature, stupid people in life.

Or you can yell back "I may be a lard *kitten* but at least I can lose weight. You'll always be stupid." or "At least I didn't reach my peak potential in 3rd grade!" or "At least my parents aren't related!"

Or you can stop your bike, look them directly in the eyes for a minute, than ride away.

Bottom line, ya gotta grow a backbone or people will pick on you, whether you're fat, ugly, stupid or whatever else they can think to call you. So you're overweight. BFD. Stop hiding behind the fat and just be yourself.

Trust me, you were me many moons ago. I wish now, looking back, I could have done things so much differently and not wasted those years on hiding behind my fat and letting stupid people hurt my feelings.

nguill6

High school sucks. Teenagers are *kitten* and not everyone grows up... You just have to rise above and remember that you are a strong, beautiful young woman. When I was in highschool I joined a YMCA gym and worked out with adults who understand that bettering yourself is NEVER to be made fun of. Don't let them get in your head. You are very pretty and on the road to being very healthy- keep up the good work! Find a place to work out where you will be surrounded with support and keep away from the name-calling losers who will probably be standing in the same spot 30 years from now making the same ignorant, hurtful comments.

adopt4

Just read your profile, and you are seriously a cute girl, overweight or not. Boys who don't "like" you because you're overweight wouldn't like you if you weren't overweight either, that's just an easy excuse. There are boys out there who are not shallow like that - but at that age, they're very hard to find! So just be yourself, open yourself up a bit, don't worry so much about what others think.

tammietifanie

First off i want to tell you congrats for taking the step and even going out for a bike ride... that right there takes alot for some people.... Also people who make fun of someone else is low and have no morals and shows that they have to make fun of someone to make themselfs happy and thats just sad..I looked at your profile and i think your pretty!!! Im sorry you had to deal with that while you where on your bike ride... Don't let them get you down!!!! Your better then that

dclarsh

I feel like I want to go hunt those punks down and peg them with rotten tomatoes for saying that to you. How cruel and utterly unnecessary.

Just remember that people who behave like that are trying to make themselves feel better by putting you down. They see you trying to better yourself, and they don't want you to be better than them (even though you already are :flowerforyou: ). So they call you names and try to make you feel bad and keep you "in your place". But your place is not for them to decide.

My advice is to keep a stiff upper lip and keep doing what you're doing. Don't respond to them, pretend they don't exist. Like children throwing a temper tantrum, once they realize that it's not working, they stop.

And I'll be keeping a good stock of rotting produce for you... you know, just in case :laugh:

amymeenieminymo

Oh sweetie I'm so sorry to hear that. Kids can be very very cruel. But ya know what, turn that sadness into anger and make it motivate you. How great will you feel as those pounds shed off and they all envy you. Just remember, the kids that say things like that are very insecure themselves and are trying to hide it so they try to bring others down to make themselves feel better. I've been out of high school for about 12 years now and ya know what? "Those kids" are nothing in the real world. Once they're out of high school and away from their clique, they are lost and it affects them their whole lives.

I recently went through a very tough time in my relationship, and it potentially could have ruined my diet and weightloss progress. But I turned my sadness into anger and said I'll be damned if I let this ruin me, and it motivated me even more. Things are looking up now, and I'm so proud of myself that I didn't just let it get the best of me, I fought back and kicked it's A**!.

It's ok to cry and feel sad, I would too, that's very hurtful. But once you get those tears out, get back on that bike and ride however long you want to and show them that you won't let them stop you. And just know that you have a ton of support here, and those kids are nothing to you.

OliveBranch

I'm so sorry you had to go through that!
It was nasty and unnecessary on their part, and I can totally understand why you are so upset.
I hope you find the courage to stay strong and keep going no matter what!
You are beautiful, and please know that their comments have way more to do with their own insecurities than it does with you.
Feel better, and keep on going!
-OB

kimss

you can keep in the back of your mind, that one day, those girls are giong to have babies, and WOW!!!!wait until you see what that does to them. You on the other hand ,you will have the tools to deal with your life and they will be alcoholic, or living with one, 5 kids, on low income, misserable people, with nothing going for them. Just a little daydream I liked to have when people weren't to nice to me. ' and now that I am older, I have to say many of those thoughts came true for the peopel I went to highschool with", and no matter what, they are all fatter and old now, I'm just happy I am still out here trying to be as fit and young as I can.
Just forget them and get back out there later today and surround yourself with your friends and happiness. you'll do great and you'll be happier too.

Falcon

I had that happen once, late at night I went for a walk and as these kids were driving by they yelled out fat *kitten* to me. This is while I still lived in Windsor, they have a lot of unintelligent people living there.

It did make me upset a little then when it happened again I gave them the finger and it never happened again.

I'm keeping the one about not my parents being related in mind, that's a good one

cyndeebee

When people lash out at you and do cruel things, rise above.
And you will, because you're better than them.
If it's any consolation, the bullies don't just pick on their overweight peers.
In high school, I was slim. Did I get picked on by the bullies? Of course. So did everyone else!
It's not about who YOU are, and it's not about any of your physical features, personal characteristics, etc. It's about THEM. They lash out at others because there's something in their lives that isn't so great.
Always remember: If people can't rise up to your level, they'll try to pull you down to theirs. (Rise above...)

And it's true. In a few years, nothing they say or do will be of any consequence. All of you will move on to higher education, careers, relationships. This will be but a small speck in the grand scheme of things. It doesn't even warrant a place in your memory bank...

You are getting fit for YOU. That's all that's important. Love who you are, exactly as you are, and simply strive to be the best that you can be.
And that will be good enough.
Good luck on your journey.

Get back on your bike and ride like the wind...Don't let the callous words of dysfunctional people ever stop you from achieving your goals.

glendaz

I am sorry they did that to you. Use it as your motivation. Ride like the wind and just ignore them. Soon, they will see you again and you will be riding longer, faster and be in better shape. Don't feed into their ignorance by letting it get you down. You are working to make yourself better and by focusing on that instead of their comments you will come out ahead!!:bigsmile:

staclo

That's frustrating. Kids can be so mean!!

Listen, I think it's great that you kept going after they said that to you the first time. I would have been tempted to stay away from them, but it was very courageous to ride right back by them again. Don't you dare let what those meanies said to you deter you from your goals...not even for a second. They aren't worth another tear, hun. Just keep on doing what you are doing, and be encouraged! We are all here to support you!! :flowerforyou:

Innerglow

I know it sounds so cliche but you just don't need to listen to that! I'm only 22 but the problems with these people is exactly what i was going through when i was your age except most of it was coming from my brother...That I think has effected me the most, I couldn't escape it. I can tell you it will get better. High School was the worst part of my life but it doesn't have to be that way for you. Do your best not to take these things to heart. Kids like that are just insecure and are just trying bring themselves up by tearing you down. Ignore them best as possible as think about the rules of Karma, everything they do will come back tenfold!

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

kerrilucko

That is seriously ridiculous. You're 18? Are they the same age as you? An 18 year old behaving that way has some serious problems. Usually by the time you hit 18 you've outgrown your immature middle-school ways. I am shocked.

Try not to let it bother you. Some people have nothing better to do that make other people feel bad. Just do your thing, get healthy, and live your life- without selfish losers.

weaklink109

Cello-

I read your post, and looked at your profile and I can relate, even though it has been over 30 years since I got out of high school. I had a weight problem in grade school, and jr. hi. In the summer between 8th and 9th grades, I dieted and exercised like a fiend and managed to start my freshman year within about 20 lbs. of my ideal weight, and lost about 15 more lbs. that first year. I attended a high school I LOVED, but then it was destroyed by fire the summer of my sophomore year, and since it was private, they did not re open, so I ended up back in the last 2 years of HS with alot of the same idiots I had to deal with in jr. high.

I gained about 30 lbs over the summer and fall, and put up with their nonsense again. The summer between jr and sr year, I took most of it back off, and started college at the lowest I had been. Unfortunately, I didn't stay at that weight, which is why I am trying to lose 120 lbs.

One thing in your goals was to get a boyfriend. There is nothing wrong with that, BUT, utlimately you should be doing this for YOU, not because of someone else. That way no matter what happens, you can keep your motivation.

I can tell you there are idiots around whether you are fatter or thinner. Just want you to know the best thing I found was to ignore the jerks, though some of those comebacks were good, and there is much to be said for a well-placed rotten tomato:laugh: , but these days, you might get sued or charged with assault:grumble: if you use a tomato on anyone.

I do have one additional comeback for you. " I may be fat, but you are ugly and I can lose weight but you will still be ugly!" (I think this may be an takeoff on an old story about Winston Churchill, whom I am sure you learned in history was the Prime Minister of Great Britain during the time of WWII. He was known to enjoy his alcoholic beverages, and upon being judged harshly by a snooty old bat, who sniffed "Sir you are DRUNK!", he replied. "That's right madame, I am. And in the morning I will be sober and you will look exactly as you do now!!":laugh: This is not a word for word quote, but you get the idea.

Don't let the turkeys get you down.!!!!:flowerforyou: People who put themselves on display in a public park by slobbering all over each other are not people whose opinions matter, anyway.

Good luck, and keep working hard. This site can be a big help. Maybe you should start a thread for members in your age group. It might be very helpful for you and others.

Miss_Kymberlee

High School (I think) is some of the roughest times of your life.. Once I graduated and went away to college, I had so much fun.. and realized that not everyone is that immature and they are some wonderful people out in the world.. Don't let these kids ruin your day.. just ignore them.. and just keep on riding..
I now live in another state and have children of my own.. and have no interest in anyone from high school.. (well other than my one best friend) ..
Keep your head held high and keep up your bike riding!!

lld20

First off ...GOOD for you to get out there and do something for yourself. You are your most important person, be good to yourself now and you will be better to yourself in the furture! Unfortunately there are people out there that have the sensativaty of a bug. I was also made fun of and picked on in school, here is the kicker... those people are still in the 1 stop light town floppin whopper while I have a wonderfully rewarding job, marriage and life. Oh and by the way... I am skinner then them. Just be true to yourself and remember that the saying is true, what goes around comes around. Besides when you are looking like a million bucks in that new outfit who will be laughing then !!

karenmacneil

DUDE, FORGET THOSE LOSER!!!!.... I'VE SOME OF THIS **** HAPPEN TO ME WHILE I WAS DOWN TOWN AT NIGHT. IF THEY HAD ANY GUTS THEY'D SAY IT TO YOUR FACE.... ITS THE SAME DEAL AS THOSE PUNKS THAT YELL OUT OF CARS - YA THEIR WAY COOL. RIGHT. YA, IT WAS MEGA RUDE OF THEM TO YELL AT YOU FOR - BUT IN A WAY YA GOTTA FEEL BAD FOR THEM ... THEY'RE JUST SO SAD. READ A BOOK, LISTEN TO SOME MUSIC, WATCH A MOVIE - TRY TO PUT IT OUT OF YOUR MIND. NEXT PE CLASS, YOU'LL HAVE TO CHOOSE WEITHER YOU BLOW THAT CHICK OFF OR LET IT GO.... THATS UP FOR YOU. BUT YOU'RE GOING TO GET TO YOUR GOAL WEIGHT AND THESE GUYS WILL BE SORRY THEY CROSSED YOU BECAUSE YOU'LL BE LOOKIN' SUPER FLY. THE BEST REVENGE IS LOOKING GOOD SO KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!! I'M 25 AND I'VE LEARNED SOME THINGS IN MY YEARS, MEN ARE THOUGHTLESS - THEY DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH THEIR WORDS HURT. LADIES HATE BECAUSE THEY ARE JEALOUS. BOTTON LINE, DON'T THINK ON IT JUST LET IT GO... IT'S NOT WORTH THE UPSET BECAUSE THOSE JERKS HAVE ALREADY FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT IT. THEY AREN'T AT HOME THINKING ABOUT SEEING YOU IN THE PARK THIS AFTERNOON, SO IT'S NOT WORTH YOUR BRAIN POWER EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT.
KEEP ON TRUNKIN'!!!

sonjavon

So, it's a beautiful day outside- 75 degrees, a nice little breeze. So, I started riding my bike around the park, I notice a few people there, but I wasn't wearing my glasses, and I didn't recognize them.
Once I rode my bike down to where the people were sitting, I saw it was three couples from school. I only knew one couple, the girl was in my PE class, and the boy was in band with my sister.
As I rode right by them, they were having this huge make-out fest. It was so gross. I just rode by and said to myself "What the heck, I'll just ignore them."
Then, I finished the lap, and passed by them again, and one said "Fat *ss" as I rode by. I braked, turned around and said "Excuse me?"
And the guy was like "Fat *ss" and another guy was like "No, she's a lard *ss." And the girl I knew, the ONLY person who was ever nice to me in PE class started laughing so hard. I just got back on my bike, started riding again, did one more lap, and then right when I was going by, they yelled "LARD *SS" in unison.
I was so embarrassed. My first day out exercising for the summer, and I'm getting called name by people who don't even know me?
I only got to bike for 1.5 miles... and only 13 minutes. I want to go back later, but I hope they aren't there.
Have you guys ever had this happen? How did you get past it?
I'm not one who likes the whole in-your-face motivation. I need gentle reassurance.
The only thing their name-calling did was make me cry when I got home. It doesn't motivate me, it just makes me sad and feel like a failure.
:sad:

Have I ever had that happen? You betcha! First... anyone who tells you, "High school is the BEST time of your life"... lies. And quite frankly, I feel sorry for anyone who looks back on high school and thinks of it as the best times of their life. I'm 34 and I gotta tell you.... THIS is the best time of my life... I finally know who I am.
Yes, I've been made fun of for my weight my entire life. When I was in high school, I wasn't even "fat" - I just wasn't a stick. I figure you can do two things... what I DID or what I should have done. I cried, buried my sorrows in ice cream and took everything that they said to heart. I learned to use food as therapy in high school... a dangerous habit. I continued using food as an escape in college... I missed my parents so I ate a sub, I was stressed over a class - I ordered a pizza, my boyfriend broke up with me - my friends and I went to an all night diner and ate ourselves into a better mood - and eventually into the plus size department. I let what others said and did effect my self worth...
What I SHOULD have done was consider the source and used it as motivation. SO WHAT if they called me a fat *kitten*? So WHAT if that guy said that I was too fat to date. I let fear of being ridiculed keep me from playing a sport in high school. I let fear of being ridiculed keep me from using the gym in college. I'm finally losing weight... for me... at 34 years old. But honey - I missed out on a lot of happiness because I gave someone else the power to make me miserable. DON'T make that mistake.
Just remember... time is the ultimate equalizer... no one escapes wrinkles, stretch marks, age spots, etc. indefinitely. Just WAIT until your high school reunion!!!

Be strong... and if you can't be strong right now... fake it until you make it. Throw your chin in the air, stand up straight and think to yourself... "I don't have to take that... I'm worth more than that".