Long distance relationships.
AmberJslimsAWAY
Posts: 2,339 Member
in Chit-Chat
Ever been in one? How did it work out? How far apart?
I'm talking states. Very new relationship, very excited about it and nervous at the same time. I have jealousy issues that I never knew I had, with him. Tips? tricks? ideas?!
lol HELP!!
I'm talking states. Very new relationship, very excited about it and nervous at the same time. I have jealousy issues that I never knew I had, with him. Tips? tricks? ideas?!
lol HELP!!
0
Replies
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I've been in long distance relationships. Not different states, but about 40-45 minute drive apart, they didn't work. I'm the type of person where I need someone close by.0
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Trust. Like I said, #1 thing needed.
Butttttttt, you already have my advice.
You can do it. Best of luck.0 -
No matter how you look at it, they are hard and a lot of work. I'm a very physical person, so I need to be in a physical relationship. I dated a guy in Ohio, only a state away, like 3 1/2 hours. But it was mostly me and my son driving to see him. It seriously got to be such a pain in the *kitten*. It finally wore on me so bad that I didn't even look forward to seeing him because it meant driving there and back.
It's all a personal thing though. You may be able to pull it off. What distance are we talking?
With the jealousy thing though... you might have a problem with long distance. Have you ever actually met him? Or did you just do the online meeting thing? If you actually know the guy and have a developed trusting relationship, it would be easier. But plain and simple, if you only know him online, he could be someone you have no idea about. Lying is so easy online.
I seriously wish you the best of luck though. Just be patient, and be ready to do a lot of wanting...
xo girl0 -
yes, I was in one where the guy was about an hour away. Worked out fine.
The other was I was in Washington State (as in on the WEST coast) and he was in Alaska. Didn't work out because he said he wanted to try, but when he got there didn't really try and would call me and ask me about how to handle girls who were hitting on him.
i really think it depends on the guy, if he wants to make it work he will.0 -
My friend has a bf in Sweden. (haha)
They're madly in love though.. they met last summer and have visited each other several times now.
He wakes up every morning at 5am (her 10pm) to chat via Skype for an hour before starting his day. They text/call each other every day...
Both of them are dedicated to make it work. She goes out with me all the time, dances, has fun, isn't focused on wondering what he's doing.. they completly trust each other.
He's here now actually. And later in May he'll be moving here for the summer and that's when they'll decide what's next... who's moving where etc.0 -
No matter how you look at it, they are hard and a lot of work. I'm a very physical person, so I need to be in a physical relationship. I dated a guy in Ohio, only a state away, like 3 1/2 hours. But it was mostly me and my son driving to see him. It seriously got to be such a pain in the *kitten*. It finally wore on me so bad that I didn't even look forward to seeing him because it meant driving there and back.
It's all a personal thing though. You may be able to pull it off. What distance are we talking?
With the jealousy thing though... you might have a problem with long distance. Have you ever actually met him? Or did you just do the online meeting thing? If you actually know the guy and have a developed trusting relationship, it would be easier. But plain and simple, if you only know him online, he could be someone you have no idea about. Lying is so easy online.
I seriously wish you the best of luck though. Just be patient, and be ready to do a lot of wanting...
xo girl
I've met him, and like 8 hours apart.0 -
yes, I was in one where the guy was about an hour away. Worked out fine.
The other was I was in Washington State (as in on the WEST coast) and he was in Alaska. Didn't work out because he said he wanted to try, but when he got there didn't really try and would call me and ask me about how to handle girls who were hitting on him.
i really think it depends on the guy, if he wants to make it work he will.
An hour away is not a long distance relationship. Sorry.
It depends on BOTH the guy and the girl too.0 -
Im in one! My boyfriend and I met in high school and hes in New Jersey (home) and Im at school in Florida! Being 1200 miles away SUCKS. I hate it. So much. But weve been together over a year and never been happier
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my husband I were only together 6 months before he deployed to Iraq. we had to spend 9 months apart...barely any phone calls or computer time. he had to trust me and i stayed close to his family. it all worked out. you have to have the trust.0
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Trust me, they don't work.. unless you're determined to not keep it "a long distance relationship" anymore. I know it because I've been in one. If you decide to be, then make sure you can be together one day. :drinker:0
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Trust me, they don't work.. unless you're determined to not keep it "a long distance relationship" anymore. I know it because I've been in one. If you decide to be, then make sure you can be together one day. :drinker:
In my case, it's not a long term situation. So I agree with that part.
But I wouldn't move just 3 weeks in.0 -
When my wife and I met, I lived in Ohio and she was on Ontario, Canada. Bout a 6 hour drive for visits at first. Later (after we got married, but before I finished the immigration process to come to Canada), I lost my job in Ohio and wound up having to move out to Boston, so the drive was more like 9+ hours. Bleh!
It's hard, but you can make it work if both people really want it. Kier and I are both computer gamers, so we were able to spend a lot of time having fun together that way, voice chatting with wireless headsets and Google Talk. We would also do things like rent or download the same movie and watch it together.0 -
Trust me, they don't work.. unless you're determined to not keep it "a long distance relationship" anymore. I know it because I've been in one. If you decide to be, then make sure you can be together one day. :drinker:
In my case, it's not a long term situation. So I agree with that part.
But I wouldn't move just 3 weeks in.
I'm not saying right away, but after a period of time, long distance will become a serious issue you can't ignore anymore. This is something you have to think from the start, so when the time comes and you still like to be with that person, you decide to take the risk and go for it.0 -
my husband lived 1300( i live in kansas he lived in new jersey) miles away while we were dating. skype was our best friend and we visited each other as possible. He moved out here in aug of '10 we got married in june '11. You just have to trust each other. We met in 2004 playing online pool. talked back and forth for a while. then in 2008 when my relationship with my son's father went down the toilet. he was the one i turned to for support0
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yes, I was in one where the guy was about an hour away. Worked out fine.
The other was I was in Washington State (as in on the WEST coast) and he was in Alaska. Didn't work out because he said he wanted to try, but when he got there didn't really try and would call me and ask me about how to handle girls who were hitting on him.
i really think it depends on the guy, if he wants to make it work he will.
An hour away is not a long distance relationship. Sorry.
It depends on BOTH the guy and the girl too.
ummm...EmCarroll stated she was in a 'long distance' relationship that was 30-40 minutes away...I'm just giving MY opinion on that distance.
"sorry"0 -
I dated one that lived just outside of Lansing, MI, which is about 4 hours away from me. We didn't mind taking turns for the trips. We lasted 8 months like that, but ultimately broke up because she was becoming jealous of my then lead singer, who now today is my wife.0
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My ex and I were together for nearly 6 years. 1-2 years of it was long distance.
While I lived in Quebec, he was in Ontario. He moved to be with me, we lived together for a good 2-4 years. He after took a move to Alberta / Saskatchewan to go back to his family and to work. We kept the relationship up by monthly visits and daily chatting/calls/video chats.
We ended up splitting almost a year ago, distance was only one of the issues.
Long distance can work out, you just need trust and patience. :flowerforyou:0 -
I was in a long distance relationship for 2 years. He lived in Virginia and I lived in Ontario.
It was very lonely, and expensive. we talked on the phone multiple times a days, and saw each other about 5 days a month. (14 hour drive, or fly depending on costs)
But with a long distance relationship it means going to social functions alone as you can't always be together for those things. It also means being alone for some holidays, as it was impossible to see both families if we were together, and invariably too hard to take time off to travel for every single holiday.
We were planning on getting married, but as it involved 2 countries, it was more time consuming to figure out who should move, and how to get work - as we had to look into visas and work permits etc.
It ended because he cheated on me with one of my best friends who was also the wife of his best friend. A very easy thing for him to do since I wasn't in the same town. It was no problem for them to do what they wanted because they were both relatively comfortable I wouldn't show up unexpectedly.
So that was my experience. Not so good, and I wouldn't do a long distance relationship again. Its just too hard being apart all the time.0 -
I don't know how it would work out with a new relationship, it might be difficult because you don't really know the person that well and you may not have connected with them on a deep enough level to commit to working on a really difficult situation.
My last bf and I were long distance (PA/WI) but luckily we practically lived together for about 6 months before we started the LDR. For us, complete openness, trust and honesty were key. Emails, texts and phone calls were vital, (clean as well as dirtly) He is in the process of getting deployed to Kuwait so we're not together anymore but when he gets back we may pursue our relationship again (besides the distance we are a super overly complicated couple).
My advice, try it out. What do you have to lose. If you can make it work fantastic, otherwise it hasn't been that long so I'm sure you're not completely emotionally invested. It's also expensive, flights/gas is ridiculous, taking time off work etc. so keep that in mind.
GOOD LUCK with whatever you decide!! 0 -
Trust me, they don't work.. unless you're determined to not keep it "a long distance relationship" anymore. I know it because I've been in one. If you decide to be, then make sure you can be together one day. :drinker:
In my case, it's not a long term situation. So I agree with that part.
But I wouldn't move just 3 weeks in.
I'm not saying right away, but after a period of time, long distance will become a serious issue you can't ignore anymore. This is something you have to think from the start, so when the time comes and you still like to be with that person, you decide to take the risk and go for it.
Correct. It's something that her and I discussed from the beginning.0 -
yes, I was in one where the guy was about an hour away. Worked out fine.
The other was I was in Washington State (as in on the WEST coast) and he was in Alaska. Didn't work out because he said he wanted to try, but when he got there didn't really try and would call me and ask me about how to handle girls who were hitting on him.
i really think it depends on the guy, if he wants to make it work he will.
An hour away is not a long distance relationship. Sorry.
It depends on BOTH the guy and the girl too.
ummm...EmCarroll stated she was in a 'long distance' relationship that was 30-40 minutes away...I'm just giving MY opinion on that distance.
"sorry"
Yeah, 30-40 mins and an hour is not a long distance relationship.
I'd kill for 30-40 mins or an hour at this point. lol0 -
I dated one that lived just outside of Lansing, MI, which is about 4 hours away from me. We didn't mind taking turns for the trips. We lasted 8 months like that, but ultimately broke up because she was becoming jealous of my then lead singer, who now today is my wife.
Sounds like she was right to be jealous lol.0 -
I have been in a long distance relationship (330 miles/5 hours) for a year, and it can definitely work. Of course we are trying to get closer to one another geographically in the future, but for now my job is keeping me where I am at.0
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I dated an Army guy. We were together for almost two years before he left for Iraq. It did NOT work out. But for me, proximity and physical affection are crucial. It's just about what you can, and cannot live with.0
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My current husband was kind of long distance (4 hour drive away...that would be an 8 hour round trip, not really close enough to meet up for lunch lol). I moved in with him after 3 months.
I personally don't think long distance works for an extended period of time. I think it can work in the beginning, it can work for short periods (like when military are gone 6mo-yr oversees etc....though I think even this usually only works well with people who have been together a while). But people who have to stay long term for more than a year, chances are very very slim I think.
I guess what I'm saying, is you don't have to make a decision now, but you need to keep an open mind that in a few months (possibly a little longer) you might hit a wall, and you will most likely have to decide if he's worth moving for or if its not going to work out.0 -
I was in one he was in W.V and I was in Ar. it didn't last though he was unecessairly jealous if I was not around assuming I was dating another man because I wasn't home when in reality I was at the grocery store, or taking my daughter to a 4 meeting or hanging out with a gal pal. He had major distrust issues and got jealous over every friend I had who I have known way longer than him. I do have a long distance friendship that works well we are a lot alike in that area we remain friends we know long distance relationships don't last or work very well. I do have a good friend out of the whole thing.0
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Yeah, 30-40 mins and an hour is not a long distance relationship.
I'd kill for 30-40 mins or an hour at this point. lol
I agree, I don't think 30 min or even an hour is long distance...its not convenient by any means, but still close enough you could probably see each other daily if you really wanted to.0 -
They are tough, but definitely doable. Trust has to be there so if you can't trust him, there's going to be big issues. Make a point to talk often, as in all day long if you can, and Skype at night. See each other as frequently as you can too. Plan to do things together that really help you bond during the little time you do get together.
My relationship started out long distance. 8.5 hour drive from Denver to Salt Lake and about an hour long flight, and lasted almost 9 months before we sealed the gap and he's now a CO resident. It wasn't easy, but well worth it. The one thing I can say is that if I didn't trust him and/or he didn't trust me, it likely wouldn't have worked out. That's the most fundamental piece to making distance work.0 -
Currently in one...met him here, on MFP. We were friends for many months before we becoming more...that happened when we met IRL Feburary of this year.Ever been in one?
Stay tuned. LOL. I won't lie...the seperation can be tough at times...but that's what "creative messaging" and Skyping is for. :blushing:How did it work out?
States for us as well.How far apart?
Well I would say you'll have to lose the jealousy...it's won't work otherwise. Trust has to be a MAJOR factor. Communicate as often as you can...and realize that if it works, someone's gotta move! Good luck!!!Tips? tricks? ideas?!
ETA I don't know if I could do it very long term if there wasn't a light at the end of the tunnel so to speak...a goal to not let it go for years being so far apart.0 -
My current boyfriend and I dated long distance for 15 months before he moved to the city I live in. One of us would fly to see the other every 2-3 weeks. It was expensive, but we made it work.
I had a couple other long distance relationships before this one - but those didnt work out because neither one of us was willing to move to where the other lived.0
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