Long distance relationships.
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Yeah. We were together for about 2 years. I lived in Texas, he lived in Georgia.
It worked out really amazingly, but we decided to split after he came out of the closet.
My biggest advice: COMMUNICATION!0 -
i'm about to be in one soon. boyfriend got a job offer in ohio and i'm in michigan. so he's more than likely moving there in a couple months and i'm really scared. it's about a four hour drive but i haven't spent a day away from him in years and now it's going to be around 7 months apart.0
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I have actually had several long distant relationships:
1. with my soon to be ex husband, I was in a long distance relationship with him for 3 months because I was in my last semester in college in MS when he lived in PA - we talked frequently then married after 6 months. We then had another "long" distance relationship when he was incarcerate in which he still is. I am getting a divorce due to him cheating/abuse - not to mention why he is in prison.
2. Then, I had another long distance relationship with an ex-boyfriend because he was also incarcerated and then paroled. we were over an hr. apart - we had very long conversation, and I saw him once a week on Fridays after work. We broke up due to multiple reasons but he was immature which is a diffcult since I have 2 babies to provide for/raise.
3. Now, I AM DATING AN AMAZING MAN from MFP (Dieselveins). We are on opposite sides of the US. I am in MD and he lives in WA. We talk multiple times a day, text all day long, and have very long conversations at night. We are doing great; he is amazing. We have both had our fair share of horrible pasts and because of that, it brings us together. All the major issues that people argue about (including distance), we have already worked out. We are both in it for the long haul. Long distance relationships aren't easy, but DOABLE if both parties are willing to work at it. It takes alot of communication and trust. I am very happy and so in love with him
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It wasnt as far away as yours, but I was in a long distance relationship, my boyfriend was about a 45 minute drive from me. Was absolutely fine, we are still together now, but my boyfriend lives with me now
Both of us drive so what happened was that on a Friday evening or a Saturday morning one of us drives to the other (he usually came to me as I lived alone) and then goes home Sunday evening. We were lucky as we both had weekends free. The main stress wasnt really with him, it was with my mates, as it meant I was mostly unavailable at weekends. I found the relationship moved faster though because we spent blocks of time together, we booked our first holiday together after 3 months and moved in together after about 8 months, that was about 15 months ago.
Neither of us really have major jealousy problems so I didnt notice any strain, we texted every day and spoke online most nights.
Hope this helps!0 -
I think they can be great. But open communication is a must.
And having a goal, and end in sight where it's not long distance anymore, is crucial.
Doesn't meant they're for everybody. There are ups and downs to them, but sometimes the person is so worth it, that the positives far outweigh the negatives.0 -
Long distance can work if the two want it to work out. First and foremost open communication and complete trust is a total must..
Secondly you both need to determine who if any will be willing to do the first visit and when.. You also need to discuss weather or not any future will come of it and if one or the other would be willing to make a big move to be with that someone..
Myself and ( BCAcheerleading ) are in a loving , caring , trusting relationship. She in MD and myself in WA state ( opposite sides of the map) I'm madly in love with her as she with me.
We've openly discussed everything and anything and have both decided that to make this work I would eventually be the one to make the move to her home state and start our lives together there when the time is right .. ( sooner than later I'm hoping) lol.
I have kids of which don't live with me and one is grown she has two babies and I would not want to tare them away from there families at such a young age.. Now maybe when they are both older then we will discuss things then..
So yes they can and do work but only if the two want it bad enough and communicate openly and TRUST..0 -
I have actually had several long distant relationships:
1. with my soon to be ex husband, I was in a long distance relationship with him for 3 months because I was in my last semester in college in MS when he lived in PA - we talked frequently then married after 6 months. We then had another "long" distance relationship when he was incarcerate in which he still is. I am getting a divorce due to him cheating/abuse - not to mention why he is in prison.
2. Then, I had another long distance relationship with an ex-boyfriend because he was also incarcerated and then paroled. we were over an hr. apart - we had very long conversation, and I saw him once a week on Fridays after work. We broke up due to multiple reasons but he was immature which is a diffcult since I have 2 babies to provide for/raise.
3. Now, I AM DATING AN AMAZING MAN from MFP (Dieselveins). We are on opposite sides of the US. I am in MD and he lives in WA. We talk multiple times a day, text all day long, and have very long conversations at night. We are doing great; he is amazing. We have both had our fair share of horrible pasts and because of that, it brings us together. All the major issues that people argue about (including distance), we have already worked out. We are both in it for the long haul. Long distance relationships aren't easy, but DOABLE if both parties are willing to work at it. It takes alot of communication and trust. I am very happy and so in love with him0 -
thats right sweet cheeks. it can and does work if the two people make it work. we have both had alot of talks and we discuss everything. but the one thing major that was discussed was who moves where and who comes to visit first. i being the man am going to see my baby first and she comes to see me after that. that is unless i actually leave. i might just stay there and only come home to pack up, get my car and be back up to be with my sweet cheeks
I LOVE YOU BETH0 -
I'm in a LDR. My other half is in Germany, I'm in Scotland. We've been together 8 months now, and we seem to get stronger all the time. I visited him in March, and I go again in August, then he's coming here at Christmas, then... I move over there for good.0
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I have, Scotland to Holland. It was tough and unfortunately didn't work out, mostly because he wasn't willing to plan for the future...there seemed to be no aim to us being in the same country!
Not sure if I'd do it again, but that's maybe just because the break up really knocked me.
I think it's do able if you both put in the effort and keep talking! Take a chance, never know what's going to happen 0 -
Long distance relationships are the story of my life, being a military brat. I moved around all my life, bounced from schools around the world, and went to college in one state with family in another. My boyfriend and I met while he was stationed here, then he was stationed in another state, and now he is deployed and my family is also stationed overseas.
It is incredibly tough, not going to lie. There will be days where you just can't fathom going on. Trust is a major thing. Talking as often as possible helps. My bf and I flew to each other whenever we could during four days or when he had leave. We texted each other constantly every day and reminded each other of all the reasons we loved each other. Make every second together count. Now that he is deployed, we do what we can to support each other during this hard time. Loving notes, mailing a box with fun things and reminders of home.
Stick with it. Communication and trust will help you get through it. And I know some day I will be able to wrap my arms around him again.0 -
yes, I was in one where the guy was about an hour away. Worked out fine.
The other was I was in Washington State (as in on the WEST coast) and he was in Alaska. Didn't work out because he said he wanted to try, but when he got there didn't really try and would call me and ask me about how to handle girls who were hitting on him.
i really think it depends on the guy, if he wants to make it work he will.
An hour away is not a long distance relationship. Sorry.
It depends on BOTH the guy and the girl too.
It depends on where you live. For Americans an hour isn't very far away but for some people in the UK it is. I class my relationship as long distance and we live an hour apart and see each other once a month.0 -
My husand lived 2 hours away and we only saw each other at weekends I would travel to him one week and he to me the next. It was difficult but also it was nice as seeing each other so little made it special.
As for the jealousy issues that was difficult but we never went down that road and gradually the trust overcame them. It was nine years later that he decided to move to my part of the country and we bought a house together. We lived together for 8 years and just got married 2 years ago.
Long distance requires patience, a great deal of trust and a lot of hard work but they can work out happily
Good luck to you :flowerforyou:0 -
Lived an ocean apart (USA and UK) and now live together in the UK. It can definitely work.0
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I have been in one twice. the first time with my now ex husband we were divorced a year later. the second with a guy in WV. He was very insecure and whenever I was out he always accused me of dating other guys when the reality was I was either at the store, taking my daughter to 4 h, going to church or out with my mom.
It can work my friends are in one they trust one another and communicate regularly. I would love to have a relationship like that. they are both willing to work together to make it work. most of the time I found one person was willing to make it work and the other was not.
I do have a awesome long distance friend though.:)0 -
it seemed to have worked for my sister and her husband. they dated 8 years before they got married a year and a half ago, and more than half that relationship was long distance (she lived in the dakotas, he lived in the carolinas)
i guess it depends what your needs are for physical contacts.
as my fiance says, "it wouldnt work for me, i like sex too much."0 -
When my wife and I met, I lived in Ohio and she was on Ontario, Canada. Bout a 6 hour drive for visits at first. Later (after we got married, but before I finished the immigration process to come to Canada), I lost my job in Ohio and wound up having to move out to Boston, so the drive was more like 9+ hours. Bleh!
It's hard, but you can make it work if both people really want it. Kier and I are both computer gamers, so we were able to spend a lot of time having fun together that way, voice chatting with wireless headsets and Google Talk. We would also do things like rent or download the same movie and watch it together.
I stopped reading the thread as soon as I hit this post. It nails it. I'm in Ontario, and my boyfriend is in Indiana (next to Ohio!). We are also gamers, we burned through a LOT of headsets from talking on Skype and other chat programs, and we've watched movies simultaneously too!
We've been together for 3 years now, and it really is the same as any other relationship: there's great days, there's really bad days, and there's days in the middle. It's hard, takes dedication and trust, and personal strength. The immigration process has thrown us under the bus once already, but we know we want to be together forever, so we're trying again. If there is someone you truly want to be with, you will make it work.0 -
It can work.
I live in BC and my husband lived in California when we met.
We did long distance for almost a year then he moved here. 6 months later we got married. It's been 3.5 years now and we are still together. Should we have got married that quick? Maybe not, do we fight about **** that could have been figured out if we lived closer to one another while we dated? Probably. But we love each other and are still together making each other laugh.0 -
I would suggest the site "love knows no distance" for long distance relationship advice. Fair warning it has its own drama but at least there you're with people in the same situation and the entire site and its forum are geared toward helping you.
That aside I'm currently in one, it'll be 2 1/2 years in August and aside from monetary problems on both sides and his job hindering a lot of communication in any form it's been going well. It's a whole other ballpark to work in and you NEED trust and communication more than if you were down the street from one another because it's easy to assume things or not know everything because you're not physically there. Basically, if it's enough to bother you it's enough to talk to them about. I've seen too many go down the toilet because the women become the psycho girlfriends all men dread when it comes to what they're doing with whom and for how long and was there anyone with a vagina in the room and did they look at them, etc.0 -
We've been together for 3 years now, and it really is the same as any other relationship: there's great days, there's really bad days, and there's days in the middle. It's hard, takes dedication and trust, and personal strength. The immigration process has thrown us under the bus once already, but we know we want to be together forever, so we're trying again. If there is someone you truly want to be with, you will make it work.
I can't tell you how many tears and ulcers that have been brought on by going through the immigration process! Lol0
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