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Friends List Advice

tsherm3850
tsherm3850 Posts: 353 Member
edited December 2024 in Motivation and Support
I love my friends list. I support them as much as I can and I feel good about the support I get back. I have one friend that has been successful in their weightloss, but for some reason, they ignore my message of advice. It's driving me nuts! Soon, if I don't get a response, they will be deleted. Just sayin..... :grumble:

Has this happened to you? How did you handle it?
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Replies

  • taliesyn_
    taliesyn_ Posts: 219 Member
    A lack of response doesn't necessarily mean that they haven't taken what you say on board - though it would be good manners to acknowledge your input. You could drop them a mail and ask - that way you can find out if your advice is valued, and then make a call on what to do.
  • Betsiz17
    Betsiz17 Posts: 95 Member
    I hope it's not me. I appreciate you, although I know I don't comment as much as some others. :smile:
  • yesthistime
    yesthistime Posts: 2,051 Member
    I am sure the situation is bothering you more than that person. It may be time to delete and save yourself the stress.
  • I think it would depend. What's your advice and why do you think they need it if they've been successful?
  • tsherm3850
    tsherm3850 Posts: 353 Member
    I was asking for advice not giving it. :flowerforyou:
  • mslack01
    mslack01 Posts: 823 Member
    I offer advice in a friendly way and if they take it great, and if they don't, at least I cared enough to try to help. I have only deleted a few people from my list. Those are people who haven't logged on in over a month. And then there were a couple of other people. One was a guy that was just downright rude and obscene and as laid-back as I am, he made me want to punch him in the face (LOL). The other was a girl who seemed completely unstable. I can handle a little unstable but not completely. :) But I say it is YOUR friend list and you should feel free to add or delete whoever you want.
  • kdelost630
    kdelost630 Posts: 196 Member
    I just deleted a lot of friends from my list because I never hear from them. I was constantly posting comments on their workouts and weight losses, but never got anything in return. The whole point of having friends on here is to support each other and that is a two way street. I say if you aren't happy with your relationship with someone on here, cut them out. Positive influences only.
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
    That's not everyone's role here. If you feel that you need that from all of those on your friends list then send a message saying so, and if you get no response, delete. I'm pretty sure they aren't quite as negatively affected by this as you are.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    Well maybe they wanted to delete you, but didn't want to hurt your feelings. I'm sure after they see this, they'll go ahead and do it.
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
    Wait, you were ASKING them for advice and got no response? Try a PM.
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
    I was asking for advice not giving it. :flowerforyou:

    Perhaps life got in the way? Crazy schedules... another thing that happens is that the person you asked this question to, perhaps their profile got flooded with numerous posts and she simply didnt see it? Lost internet? MFP was down for a bit from what I read on my facebook profile - so, she may not have been able to jump on at the time MFP was down.

    Not trying to sound like an *kitten*, but I wouldnt be so quick to jump to the assumption that they are deliberately ignoring the question... Life can get pretty crazy for most people...and there are obviously some things that can get in the way of replying to everyone's requests...
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    My wife nags me until I answer her. You could try that.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    I love my friends list. I support them as much as I can and I feel good about the support I get back. I have one friend that has been successful in their weightloss, but for some reason, they ignore my message of advice. It's driving me nuts! Soon, if I don't get a response, they will be deleted. Just sayin..... :grumble:

    Has this happened to you? How did you handle it?

    It may be because they're (as you said yourself) being successful without your advice. If it's unsolicited they may not be interested in hearing what you have to say.
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
    I just deleted a lot of friends from my list because I never hear from them. I was constantly posting comments on their workouts and weight losses, but never got anything in return. The whole point of having friends on here is to support each other and that is a two way street. I say if you aren't happy with your relationship with someone on here, cut them out. Positive influences only.

    I think that is subject to what each person wants or hopes to have. I simply tell people that I wont harp on them if they dont post something - life is subject to change priorities on a whim.... there are some people who feel like they have to apologize for 'not being around' when they were laid up in bed sick as a dog. Honestly, I wouldnt care... if they werent around, that means they prioritized what had to be done - and in their case, they had to get better... who am I to judge>? Know what I mean?
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    Do what you need. I doubt they are intentionally trying to hurt your feelings or ignore you. Maybe they will feel so bad after reading this that they will delete you first. Or, maybe they are just busy?
  • lorac321
    lorac321 Posts: 614 Member
    There are pleanty of other people on here to get advice from; there are successful people all over the site. If you don't feel like you are getting what you need from that person then delete them. Depending on what you want to know PM me and I'll hook you up with someone who can help. I have some amazing / helpful friends.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    My wife nags me until I answer her. You could try that.

    ^^You should definitely try doing this.
  • MaryinBflo
    MaryinBflo Posts: 437 Member
    I agree if theyaren't responding they might not have time to respond or are just not sure what to tell you.

    What were you looking for advice on is it anything anyone here can help you with?

    Mary
  • tsherm3850
    tsherm3850 Posts: 353 Member
    My wife nags me until I answer her. You could try that.

    LOL!

    I'm going to hang tight. I know that it hasn't been that long since I asked. :blushing: I'm embarassed to admit it's only been one day. :blushing: I'm at a point where I'll do anything to get my weight to move and it's not. I'm very frustrated and really don't know which way to turn. :sad:
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
    I think a lot of people come and go here. It makes it hard to build relationships.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    Theres many reasons for not responding. I have an amazing friends list and they're very supportive and I hope I'm a bit of motivating to them too. But I know that if I ask for advice, alot of times all of them wont be able to help. Maybe its not their area of expertise. Maybe they have other important things to take care of and they couldnt get to me and forgot. Maybe their news feed was busy and my message just didnt get noticed. Maybe, they just didnt felt comfortable giving advice.

    Many reasons to not answer every single update. However, you're a grown up and I'm assuming the person you're referring to is old enough to handle you deleting them.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    I dislike unsolicited advice. Maybe this friend does, too.
  • tsherm3850
    tsherm3850 Posts: 353 Member
    Wait, you were ASKING them for advice and got no response? Try a PM.

    It was a PM. :smile:
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    My wife nags me until I answer her. You could try that.

    LOL!

    I'm going to hang tight. I know that it hasn't been that long since I asked. :blushing: I'm embarassed to admit it's only been one day. :blushing: I'm at a point where I'll do anything to get my weight to move and it's not. I'm very frustrated and really don't know which way to turn. :sad:

    Wait you were ASKING for advice? Sorry your original post confused me... ignore what I said earlier.
  • Sl1ghtly
    Sl1ghtly Posts: 855 Member
    My wife nags me until I answer her. You could try that.

    LOL!

    I'm going to hang tight. I know that it hasn't been that long since I asked. :blushing: I'm embarassed to admit it's only been one day. :blushing: I'm at a point where I'll do anything to get my weight to move and it's not. I'm very frustrated and really don't know which way to turn. :sad:

    They may not mind being deleted.
  • ElleOQuent
    ElleOQuent Posts: 429 Member
    Maybe your riddle-speak confused the individual ; He/she may not have known how to respond to such confusion.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    So, since you have so many people hanging out here now, why not ask your question? Surely, some of the people posting here have been very successful too.
  • IveLanded
    IveLanded Posts: 797 Member
    Honestly? If you're the kind of person to drag this passive aggressive drama into a forum like this, I probably wouldn't respond to you either. Just being honest.

    Unfriend them or don't, but dragging it into public like this is kind of immature and tacky, IMHO.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    I dislike unsolicited advice. Maybe this friend does, too.
    I was confused, too. Maybe your friend was also confused.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    Honestly? If you're the kind of person to drag this passive aggressive drama into a forum like this, I probably wouldn't respond to you either. Just being honest.

    Unfriend them or don't, but dragging it into public like this is kind of immature and tacky, IMHO.

    This
This discussion has been closed.