Why are people so cruel

Captian_Dathon

I dont see how this is so hard to comprehend.

everyone judges everyone else by their outside appearance.. some people may change their initial impression easily once they get to know you, but EVERYONE judges by what they have.. and if they only have your outside appearance... thats what they go by.


i realize this is the SUPPORT website, but sometimes reality has to jump in here. I am only saying this for PERSPECTIVE and not to be cruel or to make you feel bad.

it doesnt matter that you are now eating right.
it doesnt matter that you are now working out.
until the YEARS of you NOT doing those things make you a not so large person, people will still judge you as the size you are.
If you were 350lbs, and are now 270lbs... thats amazing, and I honestly admire the sheer work that takes. I understand.
the random person on the street still sees a 270lb overweight person though.. not a person that just loss 80lbs.


you cant take it personally, or you will be frustrated.
take it as fuel and motivation to keep losing.... until the guy on the street sees you as you want to be seen.
the person making the comment is just being more honest about his thoughts, then most people.
most people keep them to themselves... but they're still thinking them.

All I heard was, "Nobody will treat you with respect if you're overweight."

I see where you're coming from, but we have no right to destructively judge and give nasty comments. You can think, "Oh, they have obviously let themselves go at some point" but you don't have the right to go and be rude to the person, especially right to their face.

It's inhuman to be so inconsiderate.

endurowoman

I think most of the comments made about the jerk are right on. But it would have been a triumph for you to have said something to cut him off at the knees and that's being nice, knees are expendable you know! Keep on doing what you are doing and remember he has to work on his soul, your just fighting a physical problem.

cloud2011

One of the best comebacks I've ever heard is one of a MFP friend: someone insulted her, and she said, " Well, I'd insult you back, but I see nature has already taken care of that."

cloud2011

I dont see how this is so hard to comprehend.

everyone judges everyone else by their outside appearance.. some people may change their initial impression easily once they get to know you, but EVERYONE judges by what they have.. and if they only have your outside appearance... thats what they go by.


i realize this is the SUPPORT website, but sometimes reality has to jump in here. I am only saying this for PERSPECTIVE and not to be cruel or to make you feel bad.

it doesnt matter that you are now eating right.
it doesnt matter that you are now working out.
until the YEARS of you NOT doing those things make you a not so large person, people will still judge you as the size you are.
If you were 350lbs, and are now 270lbs... thats amazing, and I honestly admire the sheer work that takes. I understand.
the random person on the street still sees a 270lb overweight person though.. not a person that just loss 80lbs.


you cant take it personally, or you will be frustrated.
take it as fuel and motivation to keep losing.... until the guy on the street sees you as you want to be seen.
the person making the comment is just being more honest about his thoughts, then most people.
most people keep them to themselves... but they're still thinking them.

All I heard was, "Nobody will treat you with respect if you're overweight."

I see where you're coming from, but we have no right to destructively judge and give nasty comments. You can think, "Oh, they have obviously let themselves go at some point" but you don't have the right to go and be rude to the person, especially right to their face.

It's inhuman to be so inconsiderate.

We also don't know WHY other people are in their situation. I have a friend who gained a lot of weight due to steroids she took for a life-threatening condition. She's now slim (I never knew her when she was heavy). But who are others to judge? Really?

mischa_12

This man sounds exactly like my uncle unfortunately, he's always making cruel remarks about my weight and let me tell you...he's not skinny himself! he has a huge gut but he has lots of self confidence to make up for it.

hillary124

Thats so horrible. I hate cruel people. Two weeks ago I walked out of a zumba class bawling because two girls whispered and pointed at me and said "fat". Needless to say i havent been back there, they killed my confidence! Dont let this guy get to you, he was obviously a jerk with no self worth who doesnt realize how beautiful and perfect you are and how hard youre working to achieve your goals! Have chocolate covered strawberries and be happy and smile and dont let it get to you!

Vermilliana

Shoulda asked him when he was due *L* Things like that really get my hackles up, especially considering the food in question...it was a damn STRAWBERRY! Its not like you were face down in a cake or something. Yes it had chocolate on it, but damn it you have the right to enjoy such things without some jackwagon piping up with nastiness. I got kicked out of a gym once for threatening some girls who were making fun of a new gym member..it was worth it. No one has the right to treat you that way..Ever.

Unknown

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Amy_Lee_2012

Being fat my entire life, I've had many cruel and insentive things said or done to me, becuase of my weight.

One time when I was flatting with people who I didn't know very well, they ordered KFC and when it arrived, they handed me a diet pepsi, just assuming that since I was fat, I should be drinking diet pop. Everyone else had regular pop- it was embarrassing for me, at the time.

Another time when I was sitting in a doctor's office, awaiting to see someone about my depression, a stranger struck up a conversation with me and asked me if I was seeking medication for being depressed due to being 'so fat'.


I've also seen how other people are viewed, due to their weight. I used to work as a drive-thru cashier at Burger King, and any time a large person came through the drive-thru, my manager would always make comments to me about their weight and why they shouldn't be eating at BK. Fair enough, but why even say anything?

Yes, I know I am fat, but it still hurts when people point it out to me and make fun of me for it. I thought reaching my late 30's would change things, but sadly, it doesn't. I still get made fun of, and it still effects me.

Lizabee84

I dont see how this is so hard to comprehend.

everyone judges everyone else by their outside appearance.. some people may change their initial impression easily once they get to know you, but EVERYONE judges by what they have.. and if they only have your outside appearance... thats what they go by.


i realize this is the SUPPORT website, but sometimes reality has to jump in here. I am only saying this for PERSPECTIVE and not to be cruel or to make you feel bad.

it doesnt matter that you are now eating right.
it doesnt matter that you are now working out.
until the YEARS of you NOT doing those things make you a not so large person, people will still judge you as the size you are.
If you were 350lbs, and are now 270lbs... thats amazing, and I honestly admire the sheer work that takes. I understand.
the random person on the street still sees a 270lb overweight person though.. not a person that just loss 80lbs.


you cant take it personally, or you will be frustrated.
take it as fuel and motivation to keep losing.... until the guy on the street sees you as you want to be seen.
the person making the comment is just being more honest about his thoughts, then most people.
most people keep them to themselves... but they're still thinking them.

Mr. Dude WOW...I hope you dont give advice to many people. I can see your point everyone judges everyone it is human nature but it is not ok to judge people on there apperance. It is the inside that counts. Just to let you know I am in the 130's so you are off by a bit on your comment. A person shouldnt be told they are fat no matter what they weigh

rachelhohenbrink

His statement only has power if you let it. You don't need his approval. You can only make you happy.

sdoldsMD2013

He was such an inconsiderate idiot. You continue to do you. I'm so proud of you for holding your tongue. Best wishes in your journey!!

Lizabee84

I just want to say thank you for all the supportive comments.

TasTam

I keep hearing these stories and they make me so angry I don't have words.

You should have stabbed him in the neck.

Haaaa!!! I burst out laughing when I saw this! After you stabbed him you should have said "Now, say something else you nasty ba$tard!!!" You really do wish you could say that sometimes, don't ya?

MrDude_1

I dont see how this is so hard to comprehend.

everyone judges everyone else by their outside appearance.. some people may change their initial impression easily once they get to know you, but EVERYONE judges by what they have.. and if they only have your outside appearance... thats what they go by.


i realize this is the SUPPORT website, but sometimes reality has to jump in here. I am only saying this for PERSPECTIVE and not to be cruel or to make you feel bad.

it doesnt matter that you are now eating right.
it doesnt matter that you are now working out.
until the YEARS of you NOT doing those things make you a not so large person, people will still judge you as the size you are.
If you were 350lbs, and are now 270lbs... thats amazing, and I honestly admire the sheer work that takes. I understand.
the random person on the street still sees a 270lb overweight person though.. not a person that just loss 80lbs.


you cant take it personally, or you will be frustrated.
take it as fuel and motivation to keep losing.... until the guy on the street sees you as you want to be seen.
the person making the comment is just being more honest about his thoughts, then most people.
most people keep them to themselves... but they're still thinking them.

Mr. Dude WOW...I hope you dont give advice to many people. I can see your point everyone judges everyone it is human nature but it is not ok to judge people on there apperance. It is the inside that counts. Just to let you know I am in the 130's so you are off by a bit on your comment. A person shouldnt be told they are fat no matter what they weigh

I purposely exaggerated the weight so that you could get the point easier... and while what you say is nice, in the real world, you are judged by how you look.
I didnt say I agree with it.
I didnt say it was right.
And, i didnt say opinions based on that cant change....

but its true.

katgirl985

I keep hearing these stories and they make me so angry I don't have words.

You should have stabbed him in the neck.

This. LOL.