Need support and motivation after miscarriage

Malaika946

I am really sorry for your loss. Stay strong.

joconnor09

I'm so sorry to hear about that. I can't even imagine what it must be like to go through that. Clearly you're a very strong person if you're already willing and ready to work towards a new goal in your life. Don't be afraid to grieve for a while. No one will blame you if you take a few days off. But just make sure those few days don't turn into a few weeks. Try taking a nice long walk with your husband, and just take time to enjoy each other's company. You could try new activities and hobbies that incorporate exercise, like hiking, rock climbing, etc. Just do things to take your mind off your problems. I know a few years back when I was going through a really rough time, I would go out every day and just walk for an hour. Every single day. It helped me clear my head, get some fresh air, and get some exercise while taking my mind off my problems. Though it seems tough now, you'll get through this. We are all here to support you in any way we can. We're here for you!

lisag2007

Hi, my husband and I suffered two miscarriages as well and both at about 8 weeks. One of those would have been twins. I was never told it was due to my weight, although I was about 35 pounds overweight for my height. I can tell you this, I was also older when I got pregnant the first time at 36, 37 the second and 38 this last time when we had our beautiful son. There is nothing you could have done and for some reason our bodies couldn't do what they needed to to carry those pregnancies to term. Let yourself go through whatever grief you need to and know that in time, you will feel better. As silly as it may sound, I bought a tiny stuffed tiger the first time after I mc and the 2nd time I bought matching sheep....just something to remember the little ones that will never be. I do now have a beautiful son that is almost two, so there is hope for you....do not give up. Take care of yourself and in time, I hope you too are able to have a healthy pregnancy. I am so sorry for you and your husband's loss.

timetogetfitter

Hi hun,
as you know I too suffered my second miscarriage on Tuesday, we can not blame our selves hun, I know life sometimes feels so unfair when there are so many great mums /mums to be that loose their babies while i wouldn't wish it on anyone there are women out there that have healthy pregnancy's that are a lot larger than you or I, there are those that smoke, drink heavily, take drugs etc throughout there pregnancy's and don't miscarry. So don't blame your self hun. I keep having moments of crying since loosing my twins, but don't think i am ready to deal with it properly yet and am keeping myself busy and trying my best not to think about although i know this isn't good for me. I think tomorrow when i will be alone for the first time it will hit me then at the moment it doesn't seem real, the four days i spent in hospital seems like it happened to someone else. I am here for you when you need me hun big hugs to you x

InnerFatGirl

I am so very sorry, sweetie. Look after yourself, okay? xx

BrianSharpe

My wife and I lost our first son at 22 weeks, that was over 17 years ago and the memory is still painful. Take time to grieve and heal and don't feel guilty, there was absolutely nothing you could have done about it.

AbbyHoopi

I just found myself in a smiliar situation. I was 7 weeks along with my 2nd child when I had complications and found that I miscarried. I never fully lost the weight from my oldest, who is 2 years old, before getting pregnant this time. In that 7 weeks I gained about 5 lbs (which happened with the 1st as well) and now I want to lose some of this before I try again, which we decided will be right after my 1st cycle (as recommended by my Dr).

I want to find something that I can do even once we do become pregnant again so I can keep this pregnancy healthier than my 1st, which I was off work and a complete and total BUM! So maybe I don't find myself struggling to lose weight as much. ((Sugestions welcome!))

Lots of love and support to you in this time of loss... it is the hardest thing i have gone through in my life and would never wish that pain upon anyone. If you need some support feel free to add me!!

ohi1073mysoldier

I lost my baby last week. I was 13 weeks. I'm going to read over your responses because I'm in need of the same support. I'm so sorry for your loss. This has been the most terrible experience of my life. My body is confused and thinks I have a baby in my arms. The weight is a painful reminder. There are so many factors that go into miscarriage and 8 weeks was surely a coincidence. There's no week that makes it more likely, just the further you go the less likely. This wasn't your fault just like it wasn't my fault. Our babies were meant to be born straight into perfection.

DebbieMc3

Please listen to me very carefuly..... Weighing 250 lbs did not make you lose your babies.
I'm so sorry that you are going through this.
I lost my daughter at 21 weeks. My heart breaks everyday and it has been 3 years.

I wish you strength and love to get through this.

Debbie

TxAngel79

This was by no means your doing! I have been there. I lost my third and final baby at 5 1/2 weeks. I dealt with the guilt that it was something I must have done. We were not trying to get pregnant at the time. I believe it was natures way of telling us it was too risky to have a baby as I got diagnosed with cervical cancer right afterwards! Give your body, heart and mind time to heal! It has been almost 5 years and it still hurts! Feel free to add me! I'll be there in any way I can!

cior

I have never been through something like this, but God Bless everyone who has! I am sorry for all your losses.

nikkiej2012

Hi i DONT have a similar situation but just would like to say sorry for your loss..i am not a doc but you did good in regards to not gaining weight...no its was not your weight....and you lost both babies at 8 weeks...i don't know what else to tell you but keep your head up high..and take care of yourself..

maryb2374

I have been through a similar experience and lost two pregnancies last year at weeks 7 and 6 respectively. I first took some time to allow myself to grieve. I then decided to take the last year to really focus on mental healing and then recovering physically by being active and eating in a healthy, balanced manner. I can attest to the difficulty of going through this- you go through a huge range of emotions and they come back when you least expect them to. My advice would be to: 1. believe that this is NOT your fault- some studies show up to 50% of pregnancies end in miscarriage (often women don't even know they were pregnant) for a huge array of reasons. 2. The time you spend now on allowing yourself to grieve and process these losses will go a long way in helping you recover mentally and physically. Remember to be good to yourself. 3. If and when you're ready to try again, you will hopefully already be in a healthy routine as a result of caring for yourself. This can only help you in a future pregnancy. I wish you all the best-

This is great advice. I am so sorry to hear about your losses. I lost two babies last year. Both babies died around 8 weeks but for the second one, we had seen a good heartbeat and had a due date (which was just last week) but the baby died about 3 days later. I didn't know until I started spotting at 11 weeks. It is so heartbreaking and I know how difficult it is not to believe there was something you could have done differently. I still struggle with that, honestly. Please be good to yourself and stay close to your husband during this difficult time. ((Hugs)) to you.

maryb2374

I lost my baby last week. I was 13 weeks. I'm going to read over your responses because I'm in need of the same support. I'm so sorry for your loss. This has been the most terrible experience of my life. My body is confused and thinks I have a baby in my arms. The weight is a painful reminder. There are so many factors that go into miscarriage and 8 weeks was surely a coincidence. There's no week that makes it more likely, just the further you go the less likely. This wasn't your fault just like it wasn't my fault. Our babies were meant to be born straight into perfection.

I love this last sentence. It brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing it.

I'm so sorry to hear about everyone's losses. It helps me somewhat to know that it is so common but at the same time I'm sad that so many others have gone through this heartbreak. :brokenheart:

wstokes28

Awww sweetie, first please don't blame yourself. We don't know why these things happen. I too lost my little one at 7 weeks and it was very difficult, but I allowed myself to grieve. I cried, screamed and cried some more, but time eases the pain. Don't try to move on too fast, give yoursel the time you need. Everything is in God's master plan, and I know that I have a sweet little one waiting to meet me in heaven, just as you do. My prayers are with you.

SwimTheButterfly

I had a miscarriage in 2005, at about 15 weeks. It was so traumatic. When it started, my midwife told me to just go through it and that once it starts you cannot stop it. Finally, after 24hours , my husband, in tears, begged me to go to the ER. Women need to be proactive about their own health needs. There are so many options now to help with fertility. I did not lose the weight I had agained while pregnant and put on more as I healed from this. So many women have miscarriages.It is not your fault. Even women in perfect shape have miscarriages. I know a woman who had five miscarriages and now has three beautiful children. My SIL had three miscarriages and has SIX kids now. At least you can still try again. Unfortunately, I have gone through early menopause so I will be unable to have biological children. But families are created in many different , there are so many children who need loving forever homes. My sweet husband and I plan to adopt. Release the guilt. Guilt is a self-destructive negative force in ones life that can sabotage our happiness now and in the future. Blessings to you. Susan

GroupXZ

I am sorry for your loss. My cousin just lost her child also.

pixelberry

Don't beat yourself up over it, it really wasn't your fault. It happens - a lot more than you think. After 3 months of trying, I had a miscarriage after 8 weeks, went through the pain and hurt, and when we were able to try again, we did. It's a scary, painful, awful thing to go through, but take your time to work through it. It took us another 3 months to try again afterward, and now I have twin 4-year-old boys. Hope you recover quickly, both physically and emotionally. I know it's a rough thing to go through.

mandalu292

The support on here has been overwhelming. I hope that this encouragement can also help everyone who has lost a little one. It's been a week and one day, and although each day is a little bit easier, I know that this will take time to get over. I can say that my husband and I have really been leaning on each other and our faith and it's definitely brought us closer.

I have read each and every response on here and am so thankful for each one of you and this community. God bless you all!

NicholeRobb

I have had 5 miscarriages. My last one being a yr ago, & I still struggle with the loss. A few yrs ago I found out I had hypothyroid, which can mess with your entire system. I didn't know though until I went for a reg visit with my gyno (b4 I got preg with the last one) that it can also make carrying a child more difficult. Especially if gone unchecked. I also don't create enough progesterone to give the fetus enough lining to successfully sustain itself for long. But good news is that they make progesterone pills you can take to help thicken it. Unfortunately none of this is why I lost my last child. They don't know why. And as hard as it is & as much as we want answers...there unfortunately aren't many when it comes to miscarriage. I did all I knew I was suppose to when I got preg this last time. Including bedrest when I began to bleed. I kept up with all my drs appts & bloodwork, etc & still had to endure the loss. Good news is that I have 2 beautiful daughters. I had issues with both those pregnancies as well, yet they were born very healthy. All you can do, is do ur best to make sure you are healthy. When it's time...you will be blessed with that bundle of joy. Don't give up. Don't lose faith. And DON'T blame yourself.