Need support and motivation after miscarriage

cior

I have never been through something like this, but God Bless everyone who has! I am sorry for all your losses.

nikkiej2012

Hi i DONT have a similar situation but just would like to say sorry for your loss..i am not a doc but you did good in regards to not gaining weight...no its was not your weight....and you lost both babies at 8 weeks...i don't know what else to tell you but keep your head up high..and take care of yourself..

maryb2374

I have been through a similar experience and lost two pregnancies last year at weeks 7 and 6 respectively. I first took some time to allow myself to grieve. I then decided to take the last year to really focus on mental healing and then recovering physically by being active and eating in a healthy, balanced manner. I can attest to the difficulty of going through this- you go through a huge range of emotions and they come back when you least expect them to. My advice would be to: 1. believe that this is NOT your fault- some studies show up to 50% of pregnancies end in miscarriage (often women don't even know they were pregnant) for a huge array of reasons. 2. The time you spend now on allowing yourself to grieve and process these losses will go a long way in helping you recover mentally and physically. Remember to be good to yourself. 3. If and when you're ready to try again, you will hopefully already be in a healthy routine as a result of caring for yourself. This can only help you in a future pregnancy. I wish you all the best-

This is great advice. I am so sorry to hear about your losses. I lost two babies last year. Both babies died around 8 weeks but for the second one, we had seen a good heartbeat and had a due date (which was just last week) but the baby died about 3 days later. I didn't know until I started spotting at 11 weeks. It is so heartbreaking and I know how difficult it is not to believe there was something you could have done differently. I still struggle with that, honestly. Please be good to yourself and stay close to your husband during this difficult time. ((Hugs)) to you.

maryb2374

I lost my baby last week. I was 13 weeks. I'm going to read over your responses because I'm in need of the same support. I'm so sorry for your loss. This has been the most terrible experience of my life. My body is confused and thinks I have a baby in my arms. The weight is a painful reminder. There are so many factors that go into miscarriage and 8 weeks was surely a coincidence. There's no week that makes it more likely, just the further you go the less likely. This wasn't your fault just like it wasn't my fault. Our babies were meant to be born straight into perfection.

I love this last sentence. It brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing it.

I'm so sorry to hear about everyone's losses. It helps me somewhat to know that it is so common but at the same time I'm sad that so many others have gone through this heartbreak. :brokenheart:

wstokes28

Awww sweetie, first please don't blame yourself. We don't know why these things happen. I too lost my little one at 7 weeks and it was very difficult, but I allowed myself to grieve. I cried, screamed and cried some more, but time eases the pain. Don't try to move on too fast, give yoursel the time you need. Everything is in God's master plan, and I know that I have a sweet little one waiting to meet me in heaven, just as you do. My prayers are with you.

SwimTheButterfly

I had a miscarriage in 2005, at about 15 weeks. It was so traumatic. When it started, my midwife told me to just go through it and that once it starts you cannot stop it. Finally, after 24hours , my husband, in tears, begged me to go to the ER. Women need to be proactive about their own health needs. There are so many options now to help with fertility. I did not lose the weight I had agained while pregnant and put on more as I healed from this. So many women have miscarriages.It is not your fault. Even women in perfect shape have miscarriages. I know a woman who had five miscarriages and now has three beautiful children. My SIL had three miscarriages and has SIX kids now. At least you can still try again. Unfortunately, I have gone through early menopause so I will be unable to have biological children. But families are created in many different , there are so many children who need loving forever homes. My sweet husband and I plan to adopt. Release the guilt. Guilt is a self-destructive negative force in ones life that can sabotage our happiness now and in the future. Blessings to you. Susan

GroupXZ

I am sorry for your loss. My cousin just lost her child also.

pixelberry

Don't beat yourself up over it, it really wasn't your fault. It happens - a lot more than you think. After 3 months of trying, I had a miscarriage after 8 weeks, went through the pain and hurt, and when we were able to try again, we did. It's a scary, painful, awful thing to go through, but take your time to work through it. It took us another 3 months to try again afterward, and now I have twin 4-year-old boys. Hope you recover quickly, both physically and emotionally. I know it's a rough thing to go through.

mandalu292

The support on here has been overwhelming. I hope that this encouragement can also help everyone who has lost a little one. It's been a week and one day, and although each day is a little bit easier, I know that this will take time to get over. I can say that my husband and I have really been leaning on each other and our faith and it's definitely brought us closer.

I have read each and every response on here and am so thankful for each one of you and this community. God bless you all!

NicholeRobb

I have had 5 miscarriages. My last one being a yr ago, & I still struggle with the loss. A few yrs ago I found out I had hypothyroid, which can mess with your entire system. I didn't know though until I went for a reg visit with my gyno (b4 I got preg with the last one) that it can also make carrying a child more difficult. Especially if gone unchecked. I also don't create enough progesterone to give the fetus enough lining to successfully sustain itself for long. But good news is that they make progesterone pills you can take to help thicken it. Unfortunately none of this is why I lost my last child. They don't know why. And as hard as it is & as much as we want answers...there unfortunately aren't many when it comes to miscarriage. I did all I knew I was suppose to when I got preg this last time. Including bedrest when I began to bleed. I kept up with all my drs appts & bloodwork, etc & still had to endure the loss. Good news is that I have 2 beautiful daughters. I had issues with both those pregnancies as well, yet they were born very healthy. All you can do, is do ur best to make sure you are healthy. When it's time...you will be blessed with that bundle of joy. Don't give up. Don't lose faith. And DON'T blame yourself.

NicholeRobb

I lost my baby last week. I was 13 weeks. I'm going to read over your responses because I'm in need of the same support. I'm so sorry for your loss. This has been the most terrible experience of my life. My body is confused and thinks I have a baby in my arms. The weight is a painful reminder. There are so many factors that go into miscarriage and 8 weeks was surely a coincidence. There's no week that makes it more likely, just the further you go the less likely. This wasn't your fault just like it wasn't my fault. Our babies were meant to be born straight into perfection.

I love this last sentence. It brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing it.

I'm so sorry to hear about everyone's losses. It helps me somewhat to know that it is so common but at the same time I'm sad that so many others have gone through this heartbreak. :brokenheart:

Amen. There is always a greater plan than we may ever understand. I have stopped needing to know the "why" of it. But I still feel the loss. I am so sorry to all who have had to endure it.

Melinda77w

hello everybody :happy:

I myself had my first miscarriage 2 months ago...It tore my heart apart......I too would like some support on here from kind, gentle and patient people. add me if you like...I am suffering through some depression atm so i'm not quite at my best point atm, bare with me if i dont get on here everyday, it is something i am working on atm. cheers :bigsmile:

jmayhead

Hello everyone. My heart goes out to you all and would love to be friends with you on here. I had my first miscarriage 3 weeks ago at just 6 weeks. I am a very calm logical person who knows that these things happen and that it just means something wasn't quite right but wasn't so prepared for the tide of emotions I have felt these past 3 weeks.

I used to be a member here and rejoined today as I want to focus on my health and have experienced weight gain of around 7lb since the miscarriage which i know is just my hormones doing their thing and my body getting back to normal. I also may not get on here all the time and not sure if i have the motivation to log every morsel of food right now but I feel that I can at least work on my health 1 day at a time to feel better physically.

I am over 200lb and also an older mum to be so I know what it is like to wonder if any of these factors affected the pregnancy but I also know people in similar situations who have had healthy pregnancies which is very comforting.

We kept the pregnancy and miscarriage very private so it has been hard pretending I am feeling normal but I am getting there! Seeing all the posts here has been very comforting to me and I wish us all much health and happiness in the future whatever it brings x

timetogetfitter

cant believe how many of us there are on here, I will be going back to work this weekend will be very strange as i have been off since February. I had two weeks holiday then phoned in sick when bleeding started then i had scan with heartbeat and got the all clear and bleeding stopped so told work i was ok to return but had another 2 weeks holiday booked, then the week i was due to return i lost the twins and had to stay in hospital for 4 days they gave me a sick note for another two weeks so im due back on Saturday. Everyone at work knew i was pregnant again as i had to tell them the day i found out as it is such a heavy job that i had to be put on light duties. I have been ok but not looking forward to all the hugs as i think i may get upset again. Same thing happened last year when i returned to work only last year there were three of us all got pregnant at the same time, two of us miscarried and the other had a lovely baby boy in February.. Anyway on a more positive note i have been doing well with my healthy eating and exercise, hows everyone else doing?

bush_woman187

I have had 2 first trimester miscarriages and 1 2nd trimester loss in which I delivered my baby boy and he died in labor. First, I am sorry for your loss. IT IS ALWAYS a tough process to go through. I recommend grief counseling right away to deal with your loss. I would also go and see a reproductive endocrinologist to see if they can help. I recommend getting testing for autoimmune disorders and clotting disorders. I also recommend getting testing for PCOS (Polycycstic Ovarian Syndrome). A good reproductive endocrinologist and check bloodwork and see if you are ovulating properly (a problem with PCOS) and they will be able to advise on if you are getting quality eggs. I will send baby dust your way and wish you luck in your search of finding out what is going on. Just be positive and get the grief counseling. If you are an emotional eater, this will be the first place to start. Again, I am sorry about your loss of your baby.

zukkiz

We went through this in 2008. Big hugs and know that there is nothing you did or could have done.

We had five chidlren at the time and people were telling me well at least you have them, I knew we had them, but it didn't mean I didn't love and miss this one. It took some time but now we have our 6th little one and he is 10mths now. I wouldn't trade him for the world.

Sometimes we have to go through the pain to get to the joy!

heidi5k

I am so sorry. A miscarriage is a true loss. (I've been there, too.) I know that part of your grieving and sadness is trying to understand and "figure it out". Please don't blame yourself, though. It's normal to have those thoughts, but you just have to keep talking to other people and to yourself - reminding yourself of what's true. There's such a huge spectrum of reasons for miscarriage, from things that can never be diagnosed, to issues that can be treated.

Praying for your comfort,