So Ashamed. Binge.

CynthiasChoice

While you are taking this particular sleeping pill, you need to give yourself a break, and not demand more of yourself than you're capable of while on this pill. If you want a little chocolate every day, buy a very small amount every day. Please don't feel like you're weak, or a failure! You're brain chemistry just seems to be a bit compromised at this time, probably because of the meds.

I've gotten a lot of help from reading "The Amen Solution" by Dr. Daniel Amen. No it's not religious, just his name. He's done a lot of research using brain scans and has some great suggestions for people like you (and me) who are sometimes bewildered by our lack of self control.

kibby12

It really sounds to me like your problems are much larger than what can be handled on a website.

This is a problem you REALLY need to be speaking to a trained professional about, especially because you have past issues with food.

R_is_for_Rachel

Most of us here have food issues and can't keep our binge food in the house, the ones who can are certainly in the minority!
Chocolate is usually the food I crave most, but I've managed to diminish this in the last few years by stopping eating milk chocolate and eating mostly dark chocolate, because the milk stuff is full of sugar and That's the cause for the binging. So try buying some dark chocolate like Green and Blacks (i would recommend the flavored ones like Maya gold as there not bitter). I promise its really hard to binge on dark chocolate, but you still will get your chocolate hit!

Leiki

If you can't control yourself, try less satisfying snacks, or smaller quantities.

Instead of buying a bag of chocolates, why not buy unsweetened Nestle Cocoa Powder? You have to watch yourself put the sweetener in, so you are less likely to go overboard. If you want solid chocolate, try very dark chocolate. I find that when I'm on my time of month, one square of 85% cacao Extra Dark is enough. I only keep one bar in my house, and I only allow myself one square at a time. It's about 65 calories a square, so I don't feel too bad when I eat it. Also, there are chocolate flavored Calcium tablets. They have sugar in it, so it's not as healthy for you as a normal pill, but I see it as an end of the day treat to satisfy my chocolate/ sweets craving.

PoleBoy

Marks & Spencer sell a nice pack of eight individually wrapped ten gram bars of dark chocolate.

I've found that my binges are usually preceded by a couple of days of sharp weight loss (2-3 lb over 3-4 days) - so I think there may be a salt issue, but I've not looked to closely into it.

It might be worth changing your routine - get into bed before you take your tamazepam, and read a magazine until you get sleepy - or something else that makes it "difficult" to get to the chocolate

graelwyn

Thankyou again for the great advice.
I shall try the dark chocolate option, and get the small bars of it they do in Holland and Barrett perhaps, or buy one of the new individual diet snack packs Marks and Spencers seem to be doing now.
I will not take my sleeping pill until I am off my laptop and going to bed, as I think that is taking away what little remains of my self control at the end of the day, and shall hope these will help. I might also incorporate 1 day a week where I allow myself a meal out, or something slightly less healthy as I am pretty rigid when it comes to my meals and always eating at home for months on end.

hatchii

I think the culprit could be your weight loss ... if that makes sense.
In saying that, I mean the pressure you're putting on yourself every day to constantly be in a "restrictive" state of mind with regards to food. I've just realized that I'm at that place now -- so I can't offer exact advice on how to get out of it. Acknowledgement is a great first step though!
I think that instead of worrying about numbers -- try really, really, REALLY hard to listen to your body. I know that in the middle of a "binge urge" it's incredibly hard to do that, but your body will tell you what it really wants. Do you want ALL the chocolate now, or maybe a little now and then incorporating more into tomorrow --without having to deal with the post-binge guilt?
I know that since I've started a food diary, my brain is almost ALWAYS obsessed with it. Mentally counting calories, how many calories do I have left to eat, what can I eat to make sure I eat ENOUGH, etc etc etc. .. when i'm sure if I stopped and listened to my body, it would tell me what's up, and I wouldn't feel like binging anymore. "Binge" is a negative expression that comes with weightloss, I think, and (for me) it is me rebelling against the restrictive thoughts and getting some sort of "control" back.

Happiness is a long and difficult journey, but you will find it