When it comes to a child, it becomes my business.....
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oh- and to Elliott- good for you.
alcohol is NOT a necessity. ever. :huh:
whether a kid needs pepsi or not is such a non-issue on this subject:noway:
people are totally missing the point..and that woman, whom is probably the nicest woman, had every opportunity to defend herself, she didn't...and I swear if this convo was about a dog in a car on a hot day people would be screaming bloody murder...judge me all you want....mom buying booze with a child in tow is wrong......I don't care if it's wine for the priest for sunday mass....IT'S WRONG, feel free to judge me, critize me, stab me in the eye with a pencil, but jeeeeze makes me wonder if people get that defensive because they walk in the same shoes as the woman in the store buying booze.
Now see... I disagree. Is it wrong to get drunk in front of your child? ABSOLUTELY! And I'll go to the mat anyday for that one. BUT... is it wrong to buy alcohol when your child is with you? No.... I don't think so.
I consider myself to be an excellent mom. I am a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom - I'm very active in his life, I rarely drink (we're talking once or twice a year for holidays - if that), I rarely swear (ya know... we all let something slip occasionally...) and I really and truly do put my child first in everything! As a matter of fact - when my husband married me - he and my son took vows as well because I wanted it clear to my son that if he said "no" at any point - the deal was off.
BUT.... a few weeks ago, we celebrated my husband's 40th birthday. It was a surprise party. I was using our grocery trips to secretly buy party supplies... tough to do when you hand your receipts to your husband every time you come home. I had a limited budget. My son was with me. I bought beer. NONE of which I drank. I bought lots of beer - we had over 50 people in my backyard that day. My son didn't ask me for a pepsi or gum or anything else.... THAT DAY. But that's only because I explained to him in the car on the way to the store that we had to stick strictly to our list and that there would be no "extras". Does that make me a bad mom?
Now... that's not to say that I disagree with the OP's stance. I know of many people who put the beer/cigarettes/food addiction/(Name any other addiction) before their children - and it makes me angry and sad. I don't know that I would have spoken up - because again, we don't know what the circumstances are. But yeah - I'll admit I would have thought it.0 -
I know this topic is a day old, but I thought I'd come along and kick the dead horse, also.
You don't know what that woman was buying beer for and it really isn't any of your business to tell someone what to buy or not to buy in a grocery store. Perhaps that was her beer that she keeps in the fridge for company and it is something that she has budgeted for. Beer is legal, they sell it right next to the butter and eggs.
Now, had you seen the woman carrying her child into a known crack den, that would be a different story. There is nothing wrong with sitting down and having a beer in front of your children. They need to know that you can drink and not get hammered. If they don't learn moderation from you, where are they going to learn it? Are you suggesting that alcohol should be illegal? Because I believe we've tried that.
Are you wanting to send the message to that child that their mother is wrong? Now what happens the next time she tries to tell her son he can't have something in the store, for whatever reason. You have just caused that child to second guess his mother. This is the problem with our society. People are afraid to discipline their children because you never know who is going to stick their nose in and "correct" them.
I could spend all day at the store telling people that the food they are buying, for themselves or their children is crap, but I don't. Because it's NONE of my business.0 -
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Some of us can't even speak in here!0
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Some of us can't even speak in here!
You can speak here but here you post things and expect some response. Chastizing a woman in front of her child is unsolicited and not the same thing.0 -
And the "tub o lard" comment really bothers me....0
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And the "tub o lard" comment really bothers me....
Me too....0 -
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You really think you are free to voice your opinion? Ms California lost her position because she spoke her mind. Sarah Palin is being made out to be an idiot for defending her daughter against David LiberalLetterman.
Freedom of speech only works if you speak in favor of liberalism.
AMEN, you nailed it!0 -
In California because of my licensed profession I am a mandated reporter of child abuse. I have called and reported more parents than I care to remember. Kids deserve good upbringing. not smacked in the face for touching the candy at the register or locking them in the car. no one said pepsi is good for the kid, the point is the example the lovely mother was setting! Period. the comment about her stature was unkind, however I am sure the original poster of this thread was upset at the time and wanted to vent!
If you don't want to shop with your kid, leave them at a play date or home with dad. that might work next time.0 -
I know this topic is a day old, but I thought I'd come along and kick the dead horse, also.
You don't know what that woman was buying beer for and it really isn't any of your business to tell someone what to buy or not to buy in a grocery store. Perhaps that was her beer that she keeps in the fridge for company and it is something that she has budgeted for. Beer is legal, they sell it right next to the butter and eggs.
Now, had you seen the woman carrying her child into a known crack den, that would be a different story. There is nothing wrong with sitting down and having a beer in front of your children. They need to know that you can drink and not get hammered. If they don't learn moderation from you, where are they going to learn it? Are you suggesting that alcohol should be illegal? Because I believe we've tried that.
Are you wanting to send the message to that child that their mother is wrong? Now what happens the next time she tries to tell her son he can't have something in the store, for whatever reason. You have just caused that child to second guess his mother. This is the problem with our society. People are afraid to discipline their children because you never know who is going to stick their nose in and "correct" them.
I could spend all day at the store telling people that the food they are buying, for themselves or their children is crap, but I don't. Because it's NONE of my business.
I agree!
You telling that mother off in the store, infront of her child, does NOt make you a better person. It was not your place to make any remarks.
Whether her buying beer or not, mind YOUR business.0 -
What example is that? That she is an adult and has the right to buy beer and tell her children "no"?
I didn't see anything abusive in the response that the mother gave for the child not being able to have a soda. Now, if she had slammed a beer, hit her child over the head with the empty bottle and called him a moron, then you would have a right to say something. But telling her child "no" is a right that every mother has. And one that I wish more would exercise.0 -
What example is that? That she is an adult and has the right to buy beer and tell her children "no"?
I didn't see anything abusive in the response that the mother gave for the child not being able to have a soda. Now, if she had slammed a beer, hit her child over the head with the empty bottle and called him a moron, then you would have a right to say something. But telling her child "no" is a right that every mother has. And one that I wish more would exercise.
Bingo!0 -
And it's not like she made the kid put back apples or milk. She made him put back a SODA!!!0
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Some of us can't even speak in here!
thank you for proving my point. that is all I have.0 -
wow, I just stumbled onto this thread and... WOW.
I'm not a parent yet, but when if I were, and I were to tell my child no or yes... or maybe... or anythign else under the sun, only to have a STRANGER behind me in line voice their opinion I would be OUTRAGED. What right does anyone else have in the raising of MY children whether I am a "tub of lard" or not? (which I also find offensive fyi, as if being obese has any bearing on how a child is brought up). The fact that this mom turned down her childs requests for a soda actually makes me proud! whether she used the excuse "it's too expensive" or "it'll rot your teeth" doesn't really matter to me. That kid's drinking something else today! :drinker:
If there had been verbal or physical abuse going on I'd say absolutely, stick your nose right in there. But you were rude, judgemental and completely unprovoked. And that's my opinion. take it or leave it.0 -
Another point I would like to make....
Did the child put the soda back? Or did he throw a fit in the store until she gave in? If the child put the soda back without an argument in the middle of the store, it goes to show that this woman is doing her job. I wish I had a beer for every time I saw a child throw a fit in the grocery store and get his way!0 -
One more tiny comment from me. "Do as I say and not as I do" is horrible parenting. It teaches the child that they do not matter and they grow up to be rebellious angry people, because they were never valued as a child. Just my opinion. Children learn what they live! Not what they are told, what they live!0
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Play nice kids....... my opinion is that that woman regardless of her size or what was in her cart has a right to say no to whatever she wants. That child was her child. Now I am a child advocate and let me tell you I see plenty of rotten parents BUT you heard one no and decided to call her on it. I think thats not a good thing. Enough said- just my opinion- Cindy
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I agree with this, but I don't see how the mom telling her child "no, you can't have that soda" is an example of this. The mother makes the shopping list and therefore knows what she can and can't afford. It is good for a child to hear the word "no", for whatever reason. Again, I do not see anything abusive about her response.One more tiny comment from me. "Do as I say and not as I do" is horrible parenting. It teaches the child that they do not matter and they grow up to be rebellious angry people, because they were never valued as a child. Just my opinion. Children learn what they live! Not what they are told, what they live!0 -
Would you rather she go put the beer back and buy her son whatever he wanted? What message is that sending? It is not good for a child to have every request granted. She told him "no". Her reasoning behind it and whatever she had in the cart, doesn't matter.0
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Elliot062907,
I have no comment on you judging other's supermarket choices and their raising of their children.
I do have a comment of you calling/thinking someone as a "tub o lard."
:sad: :sad: I could not believe you wrote that. I had to read it 3x to make sure you wrote it. I'm so shocked you would use that phrase at MFP or anywhere actually.
Do you realize you're on MFP??? Where majority of us are overweight and fighting everyday to lose even one ounce a week?
The "tub o lard"
:mad: :grumble: comment is very offensive and extremely hurtful to all of us on MFP who are overweight and trying our best everyday to become fitter and healthier. It's this type of comment that we don't need on MFP. Never mind your supermarket drama.
I feel this story was to get our attention here on MFP and I will comment no further on this matter.
The irony is ridiculous!! I'm 50 lbs overweight and I find this comment extremely painful to me. I can't imagine for those who are over 200 or over 300. Ouch!!
Tub o lard???!!! Can you believe you said that on MFP??!! I still can't believe you said it!! It reveals your hatred to those who are overweight/obese. Not good. WTF???0 -
Would you rather she go put the beer back and buy her son whatever he wanted? What message is that sending? It is not good for a child to have every request granted. She told him "no". Her reasoning behind it and whatever she had in the cart, doesn't matter.
I could have quoted anything that you have said in this thread; I just chose the closest one.
I agree with everything you've said so far!
I've bought beer with my son 1 time, ever. Did I or do I get "hammered" around my children? Heck no! In fact, I don't get "hammered" at all! How awful I would have felt if someone had said something that mean to me...seriously!
I love my children immensely, but they do not get whatever they want. In fact, I almost perpetually say "no" to anything that they request while we are in the middle of a shopping trip. Why? Because otherwise they will ask a zillion times for everything that they see. If we talk about it ahead of time and it fits in the budget, sure. I can't remember the last time I let my kids get pop at the store. Want to judge me? Go ahead. I've dealt with worse, and I'd rather be judged than have a spoiled kid. JMO.0 -
Elliot062907,
I have no comment on you judging other's supermarket choices and their raising of their children.
I do have a comment of you calling/thinking someone as a "tub o lard.":sad: :sad: I could not believe you wrote that. I had to read it 3x to make sure you wrote it. I'm so shocked you would use that phrase at MFP or anywhere actually.
Do you realize you're on MFP??? Where majority of us are overweight and fighting everyday to lose even one ounce a week?
The "tub o lard" :mad: :grumble: comment is very offensive and extremely hurtful to all of us on MFP who are overweight and trying our best everyday to become fitter and healthier. It's this type of comment that we don't need on MFP. Never mind your supermarket drama.
I feel this story was to get our attention here on MFP and I will comment no further on this matter.
The irony is ridiculous!! I'm 50 lbs overweight and I find this comment extremely painful to me. I can't imagine for those who are over 200 or over 300. Ouch!!
Tub o lard???!!! Can you believe you said that on MFP??!! I still can't believe you said it!! It reveals your hatred to those who are overweight/obese. Not good. WTF???
Or ones self.:frown:0 -
Wow-- what a grenade thrown here--
Elliott-- my two cents-- bad form.
What she buys/doesn't buy for her children is none of your business-- none. What she buys/doesn't buy for herself is none of your business.
Wow-- really, really bad form.0 -
One more tiny comment from me. "Do as I say and not as I do" is horrible parenting. It teaches the child that they do not matter and they grow up to be rebellious angry people, because they were never valued as a child. Just my opinion. Children learn what they live! Not what they are told, what they live!
Really? I pay bills every week to keep a house over our heads, food on the table and all of our utilities working... should I make my son "do as I do" and start working and paying part of the bills? I make sacrifices for the good of the family.... should I make my son do the same? See... THIS is one of the ways that I think we are screwed up as a society. CHILDREN are CHILDREN and ADULTS are ADULTS. My child does not get the same rights, priveleges and responsibilities that I have. He doesn't get to have a "say so" in the budget, the paying of bills, etc.
Children DO learn what they live... no doubt. Unfortunately... too many children LIVE with the idea that they they are entitled to whatever they want and don't know how to take "no" as an answer. My son is valued and he knows that he is.... but he is not valued by getting whatever his little heart desires.0 -
Here! Here!One more tiny comment from me. "Do as I say and not as I do" is horrible parenting. It teaches the child that they do not matter and they grow up to be rebellious angry people, because they were never valued as a child. Just my opinion. Children learn what they live! Not what they are told, what they live!
Really? I pay bills every week to keep a house over our heads, food on the table and all of our utilities working... should I make my son "do as I do" and start working and paying part of the bills? I make sacrifices for the good of the family.... should I make my son do the same? See... THIS is one of the ways that I think we are screwed up as a society. CHILDREN are CHILDREN and ADULTS are ADULTS. My child does not get the same rights, priveleges and responsibilities that I have. He doesn't get to have a "say so" in the budget, the paying of bills, etc.
Children DO learn what they live... no doubt. Unfortunately... too many children LIVE with the idea that they they are entitled to whatever they want and don't know how to take "no" as an answer. My son is valued and he knows that he is.... but he is not valued by getting whatever his little heart desires.0 -
OMG! You guys & gals...Can't we all just get along?! :sick: We have all been there, done that. Can we move on to what this site REALLY is supposed to be about? Support, encouragement, NON-JUDGMENTAL FRIENDSHIPS?!!! :flowerforyou: I agree with some points on boths sides. Can't we just agree to disagree? It IS the American way. I miss my safe place!!!!:sad: :sad: :sad:0
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One more tiny comment from me. "Do as I say and not as I do" is horrible parenting. It teaches the child that they do not matter and they grow up to be rebellious angry people, because they were never valued as a child. Just my opinion. Children learn what they live! Not what they are told, what they live!
Really? I pay bills every week to keep a house over our heads, food on the table and all of our utilities working... should I make my son "do as I do" and start working and paying part of the bills? I make sacrifices for the good of the family.... should I make my son do the same? See... THIS is one of the ways that I think we are screwed up as a society. CHILDREN are CHILDREN and ADULTS are ADULTS. My child does not get the same rights, priveleges and responsibilities that I have. He doesn't get to have a "say so" in the budget, the paying of bills, etc.
Children DO learn what they live... no doubt. Unfortunately... too many children LIVE with the idea that they they are entitled to whatever they want and don't know how to take "no" as an answer. My son is valued and he knows that he is.... but he is not valued by getting whatever his little heart desires.
I agree largely with what you said. and you do have the right to raise your child as you see fit. what I meant was teaching a child to contribute to the family, ie chores, personal responsibility etc is very important. by the jest of the first post it seems to me that was not what was observed by the posting person. Rewarding your child for a job well done in the form of praise or a small allowance, teaching them to be responsible with their own money is what I meant. I have all grown children, it is different for me now. But some day when I need someone to take care of me, I know my kids will remember what they lived. I hate the fact that her choice of words to describe the woman were offensive. It is sad she was so angry to stoop that low. How many of us have used poor choice of words in bad traffic etc. Love your kids and be wonderful parents, all of us! they are our future. Our children are on loan to us for a short time. We do not own them! We need to be good stewards of this precious gift. that is what I meant. God bless every Mom and Dad out there it is a tough job, but you signed up for it on your own! No one forced you to choose to be a parent.0 -
I can't believe this conversation has gone on this long....
you kidding?
we can beat a dead horse for days around here
and often do:laugh:
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This discussion has been closed.
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