Deleting Friends

Beatrix0810
Beatrix0810 Posts: 138
edited December 17 in Motivation and Support
I posted a comment on my profile about seend a nutritionist and trying a new approach. This approach was less calorie count oriented and more "what-you-eat-and-how-often." So, the result was that I didn't log on to MFP for a couple of weeks (two and a half) and today I log back in to find myself deleted from certain peoples' friends list. That's fine with me and everything, everyone has free will to decide who they want to befriend. I just find it a little backward in terms of taking the team approach. I just would never delete someone for trying something new. Ever. I said I would get back on and give a status update in a few weeks and I did! Now I'm here and willing to help anyone through a plateu or not seeing results, because after 8 months of calorie counting, I found something that gave me better results and was more sustainable. I think that's as positive an influence as any.
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Replies

  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,458 Member
    Don't take it personally. You don't really "know" these people, and everyone has their silly little "rules" about friends here. Brush it off, and look for more new friends.
  • WhitneyAnnabelle
    WhitneyAnnabelle Posts: 724 Member
    Yeah, I've been deleted by people while I'm ACTIVELY using MFP. I wouldn't take it personally.
  • shanolap
    shanolap Posts: 1,204 Member
    I agree with cmriverside 100%. Time to find new friends.
  • missym357
    missym357 Posts: 210 Member
    I got deleted and when I realized it, it bothered me more than I will care to admit- mostly because I don't know if I did something to offend and things like that worry me. Ah well, let it go. I've deleted people accidentally before, so you never know.
  • JeBitchy23
    JeBitchy23 Posts: 67
    that does suck. their loss. im sure you have great advice to share. how did you overcome your plateau???
  • AZKristi
    AZKristi Posts: 1,801 Member
    Eh, just stop keeping track of friends. I add people who say they want support. If they decide later on that they are not benefiting from the "friendship" they are welcome to delete me. I don't keep track of my friends list to see who has dropped me.

    Perhaps it wasn't the content of your post but the fact that you hadn't logged in? Perhaps people thought you were done with MFP?
  • xraylady33
    xraylady33 Posts: 222 Member
    It happened to me when I had surgery.
  • Beatrix0810
    Beatrix0810 Posts: 138
    Haha, exactly, I don't take it personally at all. I just think it's weird! Some people get so offended by not following their "their silly little rules" to quote cmriverside.
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
    Yeah, I've been deleted by people while I'm ACTIVELY using MFP. I wouldn't take it personally.
    Hah me too. But Im a little b!tchy so I expect it to a degree. Half the time I don't even notice. There are a few that I have. And the stalker in me wants to know why. Then reality sets in and I realize I don't really care that much. (shrug)
  • angraham2
    angraham2 Posts: 128
    Again, don't take it personally, I tend to delete people if they haven't logged on in a month because they tend to have quit without deleting their profiles. I also delete people who aren't supportive, negative or just never say anything. That way it gives me more time with the people who do need my support. If I keep my friends list to a smaller group, I have time to respond to everyone.
  • philOHIO
    philOHIO Posts: 520 Member
    Some people think that the world revolves around them and their friends have no lives and should comment everyday! I have only deleted a friend ONCE, and it was because she was an anorexic psychotic NUT! Being gone for a while, then coming back to say, hey how are you guys doing? That is when you learn WHO your friends really are... I mean, what if you were in the hospital or on vacation or something?
  • Beatrix0810
    Beatrix0810 Posts: 138
    Yeah, I've been deleted by people while I'm ACTIVELY using MFP. I wouldn't take it personally.

    Wow, jeeze!
  • Bikini27
    Bikini27 Posts: 1,290 Member
    Yeah, I've been deleted by people while I'm ACTIVELY using MFP. I wouldn't take it personally.

    Yep.
    And I've done the 'ooops' click which wasn't discovered until later. (Today, in fact)

    Basically, I use this to track things for myself. Friends are a nice perk, and it is always an inspiration to see how they are doing in their excercise and eating. :flowerforyou:
  • AyanaSan
    AyanaSan Posts: 93 Member
    Eff em... you had to do what was best for YOU and thats what matters. Congrats on finding a good nutritionist, that's almost as difficult as losing weight. :smile:
  • Newf77
    Newf77 Posts: 802 Member
    Do not allow it to affect you, if they deleted you then they were not really ready to support ya.
  • Beatrix0810
    Beatrix0810 Posts: 138
    It happened to me when I had surgery.

    That's actually just REALLY rude....
  • Aphrodite3010
    Aphrodite3010 Posts: 65 Member
    Ive only deleted one person and I did it because when I looked at her food diary and it was McDonalds 3x a day it irritated the crap out of me bc to me this is a lifestyle change, eating junk food every meal is not making that change AND it really chapped my butt that people were saying 'way to go' and 'good job' when she was under her calories....I really try to only keep people that truly inspire and motivate me, not trying to be a snob but for me to make this a lifestyle change I need people who are like minded. Maybe they just didn't like what you were trying, maybe they were jealous, who knows, and its just MFP, its not like your best friend....
  • mrswinstead
    mrswinstead Posts: 71
    Again, don't take it personally, I tend to delete people if they haven't logged on in a month because they tend to have quit without deleting their profiles. I also delete people who aren't supportive, negative or just never say anything. That way it gives me more time with the people who do need my support. If I keep my friends list to a smaller group, I have time to respond to everyone.

    Exactly my way of doing things.
  • 1WorkoutAtATime
    1WorkoutAtATime Posts: 719
    just brush it off ...
  • AmyLRed
    AmyLRed Posts: 856 Member
    eh, dont take it personally, a lot of people tend to do that on here.

    Would love to know about your current plan. I am stuck at a plateau and it stinks! lol
  • dirtbikegirl5
    dirtbikegirl5 Posts: 391 Member
    I agree with others. Don't take this personally. There are a lot of MFP'ers who look for the support every day and they may have so many friends that they forget what you may have said about getting back on. If they don't see you logging in for a few days, they may assume you are not coming back or trying something new. If I delete someone, I always send a note first and tell them that I will remove them if I don't respond, but I also tell them to look me up if they ever get back on again. It takes only a minute to send a note and sometimes you do get someone to respond that they are just having a rough time.

    Search the site and see what kind of new friends you can find.
  • TheDoctorDana
    TheDoctorDana Posts: 595 Member
    Well, if you need new friends, you can add me. I am here every day. I would also like to know what you found out about getting over a plateau ??? :)
  • Beatrix0810
    Beatrix0810 Posts: 138
    that does suck. their loss. im sure you have great advice to share. how did you overcome your plateau???

    I stopped keeping track of how many calories were going in my body, and started keeping track of what went into my body. I also started paying better attention to how metabolism actually WORKS and adjusting my schedule to meet my body's needs. Basically, it's like this: eat too often and the body keeps everything (muscle and fat). We don't want the body to keep fat. If you don't eat often enough, the body burns muscle and stores fat. So I now pay NO attention to calories (which is way more my speed) and more attention to getting the right balance of protein, fat, and carbs into my body at the right times to use as fuel. Over the three weeks I've been doing this, I've gained 3 pounds (+4 lbs of muscle, -1 lb of fat), lowered my body fat % by nearly 2%, and lost almost three inches off my belly. It's been an amazing change for the better and the best part is that it's actually sustainable. I'm more motivated than EVER.
  • mamamc03
    mamamc03 Posts: 1,067 Member
    I only delete when they have not logged in weeks, but after a few days, I will send a message asking what's up. If they had posted a message saying they were trying something for a few weeks, then yeah I would give them a break. My whole reasoning is that I can't soar with the eagles if I surround myself with turkeys! ;) Glad you aren't a turkey!
  • GinaKurtz
    GinaKurtz Posts: 228 Member
    Again, don't take it personally, I tend to delete people if they haven't logged on in a month because they tend to have quit without deleting their profiles. I also delete people who aren't supportive, negative or just never say anything. That way it gives me more time with the people who do need my support. If I keep my friends list to a smaller group, I have time to respond to everyone.

    Yep!!!
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
    i delete ppl who i don't talk to. if someone isn't on for a while and there's not a message of "off on vaca" or "mom's in the hospital" or "got a new puppy, won't be on for a while" or what-have-you, i tend to delete. but if my f-list gets too long, i miss what ppl are saying and i feel like i'm not as good a friend. so i keep the ppl i talk to all the time.

    it's nothing personal. if you really miss someone, send them a FR and tell them what's up. otherwise, move on.
  • wally1uk
    wally1uk Posts: 120
    Again, don't take it personally, I tend to delete people if they haven't logged on in a month because they tend to have quit without deleting their profiles. I also delete people who aren't supportive, negative or just never say anything. That way it gives me more time with the people who do need my support. If I keep my friends list to a smaller group, I have time to respond to everyone.

    This ^^^^^^. If your gonna be off for like a month, then it's worth giving your friends the heads up. There is nothing worse for your own motivation than seeing other people give up. Or at least that is how it is for me. I also delete anyone who is negative, offensive or really just making excuses all the time. I don't expect my friends to devote themselves all the time, but I do expect people to put a little effort in, otherwise, what's the point?!? :huh:



    I've been deleted a few times, and it's ok. Can't get on with everyone in the world!!
  • chandra38
    chandra38 Posts: 110 Member
    Like everyone else said, don't take it personally. I see a dietitian and that has helped me more than MFP as well. The bonus of MFP is that I don't feel like I'm alone in my journey. The bonus of my dietitian is that I've learned to relate to food better. I was a compulsive binge eater, and ate to deal with every day stresses. Anyway, my point is that I totally understand! :smile:
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,832 Member
    You say you don't care, yet you make a whole post of it?
  • prettyprpro
    prettyprpro Posts: 128 Member
    Yes. I am so glad that I read this post. I have had 2 friends delete me when I took a break from MFP. I checked in at least once a week to tell everyone that I was moving into a new house. When I got back into the swing of things, I was going to befriend them back, but I said EFF them and added some more friends that support me. It's easy to say "dont take it personal" but you do take it that way. We are all humans and have lives outside of MFP.
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