Deleting Friends

prettyprpro

You say you don't care, yet you make a whole post of it?

Dang...she's venting. That is what forums are for.

myak623

Yeah, I've been deleted by people while I'm ACTIVELY using MFP. I wouldn't take it personally.

Yep, recently. Not a big deal.

Beatrix0810

that does suck. their loss. im sure you have great advice to share. how did you overcome your plateau???

I stopped keeping track of how many calories were going in my body, and started keeping track of what went into my body. I also started paying better attention to how metabolism actually WORKS and adjusting my schedule to meet my body's needs. Basically, it's like this: eat too often and the body keeps everything (muscle and fat). We don't want the body to keep fat. If you don't eat often enough, the body burns muscle and stores fat. So I now pay NO attention to calories (which is way more my speed) and more attention to getting the right balance of protein, fat, and carbs into my body at the right times to use as fuel. Over the three weeks I've been doing this, I've gained 3 pounds (+4 lbs of muscle, -1 lb of fat), lowered my body fat % by nearly 2%, and lost almost three inches off my belly. It's been an amazing change for the better and the best part is that it's actually sustainable. I'm more motivated than EVER.

Since a few of you asked, I'll elaborate:

Protein: 130g/day (protein is being defined here as "anything with a face")
Everytime you eat protein you MUST also eat carbs and fat (easy, no?)
Eat bread and fruit earlier in the day and get your carbs from veggies at dinner time.
If you know you're going to have alcohol later that night, pare back on the fruits (sugar) and breads (carbs) earlier in the day. Still eat them, just eat less of them.

Eat every 3 to 4 hours (6 times a day)
I've added protein shakes to my routine to make it easier for me. For a snack I'll have an apple and peanut butter and a protein shake, or oatmeal with pb in it and a shake. If I want yogurt, I make it vanilla greek yogurt and add a fruit (today it was grapefruit and it was delightful)

Excercise at least 4 days a week, having a snack (protein/carbs/fat) within 30 minutes of ending your work out. Continue the eating regimen as usual.

For dinner I'll make chicken and veggies, or steak and veggies. Anything with a face + anything that comes from the ground.

1g of steak = 7g of protein so make sure you're eating enough to get to that 26-30g protein per meal threshold.

It's really easy and if anyone has questions or needs advice, feel free to add me as a friend (judgement free) and ask questions anytime!

Beatrix0810

You say you don't care, yet you make a whole post of it?

Dang...she's venting. That is what forums are for.

Thanks, pretty. My point in posting this was just to communicate to people that it's kind of counter-productive to delete people who are trying something that may be able to help THEM. I was just confused by it, and yeah, maybe it hurt my feelings a little...

Beatrix0810

Like everyone else said, don't take it personally. I see a dietitian and that has helped me more than MFP as well. The bonus of MFP is that I don't feel like I'm alone in my journey. The bonus of my dietitian is that I've learned to relate to food better. I was a compulsive binge eater, and ate to deal with every day stresses. Anyway, my point is that I totally understand!

So glad you found something that helped you! Thanks for the support.

RAROC363

I came back today after being off here for over 6 weeks, I have been ill and felt I let my MFP friends down, I was pleasantly surprised that the bulk of them were still there with me, there were a few who had not logged on for 2 months plus and I deleted them, I need positivity and support and it might sound like I have double standards but I have come back today and need to hit this running, I cant lose the motivation I have struck up. So there you have it with deletions from my opinion, call me right, call me wrong it doesnt matter, I'm here to lose weight, if I make friends along the way then thats a bonus, I just cant get dragged down.

kadins_momma07

Again, don't take it personally, I tend to delete people if they haven't logged on in a month because they tend to have quit without deleting their profiles. I also delete people who aren't supportive, negative or just never say anything. That way it gives me more time with the people who do need my support. If I keep my friends list to a smaller group, I have time to respond to everyone.

Same here! I do delete people if they haven't logged on in a month or so, UNLESS I know that they have something personally going on (like the original poster said, she posted something about her not being on for a few weeks to try something new) and will be back when they're ready. But for the people who have not logged in, said anything, logged anything for quite some time and show no support, I delete. I'd rather have dedicated friends on here who are struggling just like me, need my support and are willing to support me, who log their stuff and exercise.

maybebaby40

Again, don't take it personally, I tend to delete people if they haven't logged on in a month because they tend to have quit without deleting their profiles. I also delete people who aren't supportive, negative or just never say anything. That way it gives me more time with the people who do need my support. If I keep my friends list to a smaller group, I have time to respond to everyone.

^^^^^^^^THIS FOR ME

MostlyWater

I actually Do know at lease 1 frioend here irl. But if someone doesn't log in, it doesn't take up so much room on your page. I'd let it go, personally.

larkiedeek

Can you not have a couple of weeks off it without being deleted?:ohwell:



Glad I don't have friends.:grumble:

But sending out happy vibes to anyone that have been de-friended and they feel offended!:flowerforyou:

DannyMussels

I delete people when they don't come on for 2+ weeks. I figure that probly means they left.

I try keepin it around 100 people, but only interact with a regular 20 or so.

Ge0rgiana

It happened to me after my mother died. To be fair, I did just kinda disappear. :frown:

ladyfingers39

I delete people who don't log in regularly. What I am looking for are regular encouragers.

Why didn't you log in to encourage other people while you did your experiment?

anemoneflynn

Somestimes my front page gets overcrowded and I have to make decisions about who I *really* want to keep track of - it's nothing personal, but if I don't know you very well or if you haven't logged on in a while AND I don't know you very well, you're likely to lose me there! I don't think it sends out nasty notifications when you're deleted - at least, I've had people delete me and I wouldn't have known if they weren't people I wasn't actively watching to begin with. :-)

Hanablu2

Yeah, I've been deleted by people while I'm ACTIVELY using MFP. I wouldn't take it personally.

That is funny! Yes don't take it personally I agree. I accidentally tried to add someone who invited me to add them but misspelled their name by one letter and hit send. The person I accidentally asked to be friends with messaged me saying: who are you?, do I know you, why are you trying to be my friend, how did you find me? I was thinking dag did I hit the CIA list wth!

We are here to lose weight that should be the only real common denominator but people have their ways. Just remember it's their ways not yours and keep it moving.

NashvilleShelley

If it helps, I deleted all my friends once by accident! Maybe some else is as computer stupid as I am. I did it twice on facebook! Ha! Wish they had an "undue" button! Some how they always find me again and if they know me they know it was just something I did.

pspetralia

i delete ppl who i don't talk to. if someone isn't on for a while and there's not a message of "off on vaca" or "mom's in the hospital" or "got a new puppy, won't be on for a while" or what-have-you, i tend to delete. but if my f-list gets too long, i miss what ppl are saying and i feel like i'm not as good a friend. so i keep the ppl i talk to all the time.

it's nothing personal. if you really miss someone, send them a FR and tell them what's up. otherwise, move on.

^^^ this! Try to move on quickly and focus on your journey.

rachaela06

Good for you for taking your well being to the next step and seeing a professional. As for the people or person who deleted you, there could be a million excuses or reasons, it truly is their loss. You are obviously committed to being healthy, which is what we should all be here for, not how many "friends" we can make. The support is fantastic but only if it's real. Good luck to you on your journey and keep up the great work

2Bskinny4good_Stacie

Different people have different needs. I'd rather be deleted by someone then be a MFP "friend" when they don't appreciate what I say or relate to the way I think (and vice versa). I really enjoy MFP and although I hope everyone using the site does well I'm not going to keep people on my list that I don't connect with or get something from or who bring me down with chronic complaining...but then again it's the same way I am with my real life relationships...my husband has kept in contact with almost every friend he has ever had since grade school...I just don't.

I do agree with an above poster...if there is someone who deleted you that you want to re-connect with then approach them

...if it is just a matter of feeling a little hurt from being deleted then I wouldn't waste my time on dwelling on it, seek out a new set of friends that "get" and appreciate what you have to offer and that you enjoy connecting with

mrmanmeat

You say you don't care, yet you make a whole post of it?

SexyCook

Really it's called CHOICE.... I don't make a big fuss when I am deleted....I have yet to understand why so many do...when this is your journey and to have pals is added value..Why waste it on the few that deleted you when you have so many more to support and encourage you....Focus on those that are still standing with you..Trust they are the ones that should have a status on of how awesome they are......

Make peace with it and continue to be successful in your journey!

djsupreme6

I wouldn't worry about being deleted at all...lol...I wouldn't delete people from my list though..theres really no reason too unless they're full or drama or something...enough of that stuff on facebook lol..or those who just fish for compliments constantly and really aren't here for anything...thats just my personal preference though...I always think its there loss...but if things come up and they can't log on..then no need to delete...some folks have major struggles and one day may pop on and need a friend

JeBitchy23

that does suck. their loss. im sure you have great advice to share. how did you overcome your plateau???

I stopped keeping track of how many calories were going in my body, and started keeping track of what went into my body. I also started paying better attention to how metabolism actually WORKS and adjusting my schedule to meet my body's needs. Basically, it's like this: eat too often and the body keeps everything (muscle and fat). We don't want the body to keep fat. If you don't eat often enough, the body burns muscle and stores fat. So I now pay NO attention to calories (which is way more my speed) and more attention to getting the right balance of protein, fat, and carbs into my body at the right times to use as fuel. Over the three weeks I've been doing this, I've gained 3 pounds (+4 lbs of muscle, -1 lb of fat), lowered my body fat % by nearly 2%, and lost almost three inches off my belly. It's been an amazing change for the better and the best part is that it's actually sustainable. I'm more motivated than EVER.

Since a few of you asked, I'll elaborate:

Protein: 130g/day (protein is being defined here as "anything with a face")
Everytime you eat protein you MUST also eat carbs and fat (easy, no?)
Eat bread and fruit earlier in the day and get your carbs from veggies at dinner time.
If you know you're going to have alcohol later that night, pare back on the fruits (sugar) and breads (carbs) earlier in the day. Still eat them, just eat less of them.

Eat every 3 to 4 hours (6 times a day)
I've added protein shakes to my routine to make it easier for me. For a snack I'll have an apple and peanut butter and a protein shake, or oatmeal with pb in it and a shake. If I want yogurt, I make it vanilla greek yogurt and add a fruit (today it was grapefruit and it was delightful)

Excercise at least 4 days a week, having a snack (protein/carbs/fat) within 30 minutes of ending your work out. Continue the eating regimen as usual.

For dinner I'll make chicken and veggies, or steak and veggies. Anything with a face + anything that comes from the ground.

1g of steak = 7g of protein so make sure you're eating enough to get to that 26-30g protein per meal threshold.

It's really easy and if anyone has questions or needs advice, feel free to add me as a friend (judgement free) and ask questions anytime!

thanks for sharing. i am so glad i found a protein shake i like now. i use 2% milk, banana and frozen fruit. the hardest part for me is getting the protein in me for lunch or dinner. but we always do veggies or a salad. thanks so much

Wezlfuss

.I honestly don't even remember who was on my list to begin with... I and didn't even start out with that many. xD