Deleting Friends

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2

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  • dirtbikegirl5
    dirtbikegirl5 Posts: 391 Member
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    I agree with others. Don't take this personally. There are a lot of MFP'ers who look for the support every day and they may have so many friends that they forget what you may have said about getting back on. If they don't see you logging in for a few days, they may assume you are not coming back or trying something new. If I delete someone, I always send a note first and tell them that I will remove them if I don't respond, but I also tell them to look me up if they ever get back on again. It takes only a minute to send a note and sometimes you do get someone to respond that they are just having a rough time.

    Search the site and see what kind of new friends you can find.
  • TheDoctorDana
    TheDoctorDana Posts: 595 Member
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    Well, if you need new friends, you can add me. I am here every day. I would also like to know what you found out about getting over a plateau ??? :)
  • Beatrix0810
    Beatrix0810 Posts: 138
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    that does suck. their loss. im sure you have great advice to share. how did you overcome your plateau???

    I stopped keeping track of how many calories were going in my body, and started keeping track of what went into my body. I also started paying better attention to how metabolism actually WORKS and adjusting my schedule to meet my body's needs. Basically, it's like this: eat too often and the body keeps everything (muscle and fat). We don't want the body to keep fat. If you don't eat often enough, the body burns muscle and stores fat. So I now pay NO attention to calories (which is way more my speed) and more attention to getting the right balance of protein, fat, and carbs into my body at the right times to use as fuel. Over the three weeks I've been doing this, I've gained 3 pounds (+4 lbs of muscle, -1 lb of fat), lowered my body fat % by nearly 2%, and lost almost three inches off my belly. It's been an amazing change for the better and the best part is that it's actually sustainable. I'm more motivated than EVER.
  • mamamc03
    mamamc03 Posts: 1,067 Member
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    I only delete when they have not logged in weeks, but after a few days, I will send a message asking what's up. If they had posted a message saying they were trying something for a few weeks, then yeah I would give them a break. My whole reasoning is that I can't soar with the eagles if I surround myself with turkeys! ;) Glad you aren't a turkey!
  • GinaKurtz
    GinaKurtz Posts: 228 Member
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    Again, don't take it personally, I tend to delete people if they haven't logged on in a month because they tend to have quit without deleting their profiles. I also delete people who aren't supportive, negative or just never say anything. That way it gives me more time with the people who do need my support. If I keep my friends list to a smaller group, I have time to respond to everyone.

    Yep!!!
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
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    i delete ppl who i don't talk to. if someone isn't on for a while and there's not a message of "off on vaca" or "mom's in the hospital" or "got a new puppy, won't be on for a while" or what-have-you, i tend to delete. but if my f-list gets too long, i miss what ppl are saying and i feel like i'm not as good a friend. so i keep the ppl i talk to all the time.

    it's nothing personal. if you really miss someone, send them a FR and tell them what's up. otherwise, move on.
  • wally1uk
    wally1uk Posts: 120
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    Again, don't take it personally, I tend to delete people if they haven't logged on in a month because they tend to have quit without deleting their profiles. I also delete people who aren't supportive, negative or just never say anything. That way it gives me more time with the people who do need my support. If I keep my friends list to a smaller group, I have time to respond to everyone.

    This ^^^^^^. If your gonna be off for like a month, then it's worth giving your friends the heads up. There is nothing worse for your own motivation than seeing other people give up. Or at least that is how it is for me. I also delete anyone who is negative, offensive or really just making excuses all the time. I don't expect my friends to devote themselves all the time, but I do expect people to put a little effort in, otherwise, what's the point?!? :huh:



    I've been deleted a few times, and it's ok. Can't get on with everyone in the world!!
  • chandra38
    chandra38 Posts: 112 Member
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    Like everyone else said, don't take it personally. I see a dietitian and that has helped me more than MFP as well. The bonus of MFP is that I don't feel like I'm alone in my journey. The bonus of my dietitian is that I've learned to relate to food better. I was a compulsive binge eater, and ate to deal with every day stresses. Anyway, my point is that I totally understand! :smile:
  • EmCarroll1990
    EmCarroll1990 Posts: 2,849 Member
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    You say you don't care, yet you make a whole post of it?
  • prettyprpro
    prettyprpro Posts: 128 Member
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    Yes. I am so glad that I read this post. I have had 2 friends delete me when I took a break from MFP. I checked in at least once a week to tell everyone that I was moving into a new house. When I got back into the swing of things, I was going to befriend them back, but I said EFF them and added some more friends that support me. It's easy to say "dont take it personal" but you do take it that way. We are all humans and have lives outside of MFP.
  • prettyprpro
    prettyprpro Posts: 128 Member
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    You say you don't care, yet you make a whole post of it?

    Dang...she's venting. That is what forums are for.
  • myak623
    myak623 Posts: 616 Member
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    Yeah, I've been deleted by people while I'm ACTIVELY using MFP. I wouldn't take it personally.

    Yep, recently. Not a big deal.
  • Beatrix0810
    Beatrix0810 Posts: 138
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    that does suck. their loss. im sure you have great advice to share. how did you overcome your plateau???

    I stopped keeping track of how many calories were going in my body, and started keeping track of what went into my body. I also started paying better attention to how metabolism actually WORKS and adjusting my schedule to meet my body's needs. Basically, it's like this: eat too often and the body keeps everything (muscle and fat). We don't want the body to keep fat. If you don't eat often enough, the body burns muscle and stores fat. So I now pay NO attention to calories (which is way more my speed) and more attention to getting the right balance of protein, fat, and carbs into my body at the right times to use as fuel. Over the three weeks I've been doing this, I've gained 3 pounds (+4 lbs of muscle, -1 lb of fat), lowered my body fat % by nearly 2%, and lost almost three inches off my belly. It's been an amazing change for the better and the best part is that it's actually sustainable. I'm more motivated than EVER.

    Since a few of you asked, I'll elaborate:

    Protein: 130g/day (protein is being defined here as "anything with a face")
    Everytime you eat protein you MUST also eat carbs and fat (easy, no?)
    Eat bread and fruit earlier in the day and get your carbs from veggies at dinner time.
    If you know you're going to have alcohol later that night, pare back on the fruits (sugar) and breads (carbs) earlier in the day. Still eat them, just eat less of them.

    Eat every 3 to 4 hours (6 times a day)
    I've added protein shakes to my routine to make it easier for me. For a snack I'll have an apple and peanut butter and a protein shake, or oatmeal with pb in it and a shake. If I want yogurt, I make it vanilla greek yogurt and add a fruit (today it was grapefruit and it was delightful)

    Excercise at least 4 days a week, having a snack (protein/carbs/fat) within 30 minutes of ending your work out. Continue the eating regimen as usual.

    For dinner I'll make chicken and veggies, or steak and veggies. Anything with a face + anything that comes from the ground.

    1g of steak = 7g of protein so make sure you're eating enough to get to that 26-30g protein per meal threshold.

    It's really easy and if anyone has questions or needs advice, feel free to add me as a friend (judgement free) and ask questions anytime!
  • Beatrix0810
    Beatrix0810 Posts: 138
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    You say you don't care, yet you make a whole post of it?

    Dang...she's venting. That is what forums are for.

    Thanks, pretty. My point in posting this was just to communicate to people that it's kind of counter-productive to delete people who are trying something that may be able to help THEM. I was just confused by it, and yeah, maybe it hurt my feelings a little...
  • Beatrix0810
    Beatrix0810 Posts: 138
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    Like everyone else said, don't take it personally. I see a dietitian and that has helped me more than MFP as well. The bonus of MFP is that I don't feel like I'm alone in my journey. The bonus of my dietitian is that I've learned to relate to food better. I was a compulsive binge eater, and ate to deal with every day stresses. Anyway, my point is that I totally understand! :smile:

    So glad you found something that helped you! Thanks for the support.
  • RAROC363
    RAROC363 Posts: 8 Member
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    I came back today after being off here for over 6 weeks, I have been ill and felt I let my MFP friends down, I was pleasantly surprised that the bulk of them were still there with me, there were a few who had not logged on for 2 months plus and I deleted them, I need positivity and support and it might sound like I have double standards but I have come back today and need to hit this running, I cant lose the motivation I have struck up. So there you have it with deletions from my opinion, call me right, call me wrong it doesnt matter, I'm here to lose weight, if I make friends along the way then thats a bonus, I just cant get dragged down.
  • kadins_momma07
    kadins_momma07 Posts: 328 Member
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    Again, don't take it personally, I tend to delete people if they haven't logged on in a month because they tend to have quit without deleting their profiles. I also delete people who aren't supportive, negative or just never say anything. That way it gives me more time with the people who do need my support. If I keep my friends list to a smaller group, I have time to respond to everyone.

    Same here! I do delete people if they haven't logged on in a month or so, UNLESS I know that they have something personally going on (like the original poster said, she posted something about her not being on for a few weeks to try something new) and will be back when they're ready. But for the people who have not logged in, said anything, logged anything for quite some time and show no support, I delete. I'd rather have dedicated friends on here who are struggling just like me, need my support and are willing to support me, who log their stuff and exercise. :)
  • maybebaby40
    maybebaby40 Posts: 75
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    Again, don't take it personally, I tend to delete people if they haven't logged on in a month because they tend to have quit without deleting their profiles. I also delete people who aren't supportive, negative or just never say anything. That way it gives me more time with the people who do need my support. If I keep my friends list to a smaller group, I have time to respond to everyone.


    ^^^^^^^^THIS FOR ME
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
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    I actually Do know at lease 1 frioend here irl. But if someone doesn't log in, it doesn't take up so much room on your page. I'd let it go, personally.
  • larkiedeek
    larkiedeek Posts: 203 Member
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    Can you not have a couple of weeks off it without being deleted?:ohwell:



    Glad I don't have friends.:grumble:

    But sending out happy vibes to anyone that have been de-friended and they feel offended!:flowerforyou:

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