You never hear. . . . .

Tropical_Turtle

Baby I so love your snoring that keeps me awake at night.

YAY some random dog left me a present in my yard to clean up!!

california_peach

If you worked in humane resources or in payroll you would have heard, 'I hate paydays' every damn payday! True story. I hated it.

bikermike5094

Algebra? Makes perfect sense to me....

pineapple1989

Damn, I wish this tractor in front of me would go a bit slower, I'm in no rush!

jenbit

Why oh why did I work out today
Man I wish I had stayed home last night.
Oh I love it when all the old tourist come to south florida in the winter

JoolieW68

Thanks for leaving the dishes for me while I was gone all week, honey!

Those mud marks look great on my white carpet.

I'm glad you didn't replace the toilet paper roll.

No, no, my sweater is supposed to be that small after it goes thru the dryer, thanks honey!

Yes, I'd love to listen to your unsolicited sales pitch during dinner, thanks for calling.

bikermike5094

I wish there were more bikers during Sturgis/Daytona

JoolieW68

Thanks for using the REPLY ALL button for that department wide email that doesn't mean anything to me or 95% of the office!

^^ we actually had this one again yesterday, except it was sent campus wide to 2000 people and reply all was used about 10 times.

runs4zen

To a coworker:

" I just LOVE the way you take credit for things you had nothing to do with and never fail to throw everyone--including your employer--under the bus every chance you get. It's the kind of awesome behavior I want to emulate. Frankly, you're a rockstar"

scapez

Thanks for using the REPLY ALL button for that department wide email that doesn't mean anything to me or 95% of the office!

^^ we actually had this one again yesterday, except it was sent campus wide to 2000 people and reply all was used about 10 times.

I work for a major airline and this has happened on a number of occasions where someone sends out a SYSTEM-WIDE email by accident and for hours people hit 'reply all' to say 'um...herp derp...I don't think this email was meant for me, please take me off your mailing list'. Despite numerous attempts by other employees and IT pleading to PLEASE stop hitting reply all, it literally takes forever for it to stop.

Erindipitous

Twilight is such a great love story.

Justin Bieber is such a sexy man.

I'm so skinny.

Of course you can cheat on me, why would I mind, babe?

Hahaha..

xsarahlouise1

I actually do look forward to Mondays. I usually have the day off work &it's my weigh in day so I look forward to seeing how my body has changed - measurements, body fat, etc

LadyRush

You never hear me say to my preteen "Go ahead, be a smartaleck! I love it!"


Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Nutrition Facts For Foods

rextcat

WOOHOO my credit score is 250!!

HollywoodDJ

I LOVE TAXES!!! (That's one you will never hear)

HollywoodDJ

To a coworker:

" I just LOVE the way you take credit for things you had nothing to do with and never fail to throw everyone--including your employer--under the bus every chance you get. It's the kind of awesome behavior I want to emulate. Frankly, you're a rockstar"

OMG I SO LOVE THIS AND KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN!!!!!!! I'd also like to add to that "I hope being an effin LIAR and MASTER-MANIPULATOR is totally worth everyone knowing what a complete ****HEAD you are!!!!"

monipie

you never hear- "WOW! That guy looks so manly in those skinny jeans!"

laurieblair2012

Does this make my butt look too small?

That diamond is way too big!

I'm so glad your mother is coming to visit!

Hairy butts are so sexy!

Your boobs are just way too big.

cconeill

I love paying $3.89 per gallon for gas

LauraMacNCheese

Never mind :grumble:

NSQuintana

Twilight is such a great love story.

Justin Bieber is such a sexy man.

I'm so skinny.

Of course you can cheat on me, why would I mind, babe?

:laugh: THAT'S AWESOME!! :laugh:

NSQuintana

Thanks for leaving the dishes for me while I was gone all week, honey!

Those mud marks look great on my white carpet.

I'm glad you didn't replace the toilet paper roll.

No, no, my sweater is supposed to be that small after it goes thru the dryer, thanks honey!

Yes, I'd love to listen to your unsolicited sales pitch during dinner, thanks for calling.

:laugh: NICE!!!!:laugh:

DsAdvocate

I love paying $3.89 per gallon for gas

Seriously?! I would LOVE to pay that much for gas. I'm paying almost $6/gal.

kealambert

'there is nothing more refreshing than an old person behind the wheel'

'you know what, i that smooze jazz really does liven up a room'

'the gas prices seem fair and reasonable'

'politicians, while capable and fairly paid, do seem to work too hard.'

AngryDiet

Dieting is awesome fun!

Fockertots

It's okay. You finishing so fast makes me have less work to do.

Whinchat

I love paying $3.89 per gallon for gas

If that's all we had to pay in the UK I'd be over the moon. I know a US gallon is slightly less than a UK (imperial) gallon but over here it's the equivalent of $9 per US gallon (once you mess around with currency exchange etc etc).

Britt2Fitjrny

"YES!!! GAS PRICES ARE GOING UP!!"

"You want to give me a raise? No Thanks..."

LauraMacNCheese

'politicians, while capable and fairly paid, do seem to work too hard.'

That's because no one can actually SAY this without instantly stimulating the gag reflex & projectile vomitting...

BigDaddyBRC

No, please continue on with your self-righteous rant about how awesome you are...I'll go here and kick the cat in the corner