Secret Dieting

AllTehBeers

So on and off for the past 10 years I've tried many different diets. Each time announcing to friends and family that this is the time. I get going hard and fast and burn out within a week. Then I get frustrated, everyone is asking me about my diet and I have to shamefully tell them I've quit because it was too hard.

Well this time I'm dieting in secret. I want to avoid the embarassment of having tell everyone I've failed again. I'm just eating healthier, smaller portions, exercising when no one is around and wearing the same clothes. This Friday will mark 8 weeks that I've been on the ball. New habits have been formed and I think its getting easier the longer I do it. I'm hoping I can stick with it this time and finally get down to a healthy weight.

Does anyone else struggle with feeling like you're being judged everytime you quit/restart your diet? Do you keep quiet on your eating habits to avoid "should you be eating THAT" and similar comments? Did it work for you?

HMD7703

That is because dieting does not work. Overhaul your life, the way you eat / see food and you will see results. Food is not the enemy. Add exercise and learn to love it (find an exercise program that keeps you interested). It is all about your mindset.

I think most of us have been there. Some newbies are still there. But once you stop seeing eating/exercising as a chore or diet, it will be second nature. You just have to find what works for you. Good luck :flowerforyou:

bcattoes

I used to do that when I looked at dieting as a temporary thing. But then I decided to make my health a priority and started eating heatlhy most the time. So, now when I gain a few pounds I don't really change my diet.

It's always because I've slacked off on exercise so I just get back on track with that. And if someone notices a loss and asks I just say "I've been dong Zumba" (or whatever exercise I've been doing).

bionicrooster

I agree, I don't tell people I am on a diet, I just say I have changed my eating habits.

pgfatty

I also dont tell anyone im on a diet...

people add too much pressure on you.

i just say im eating healthily and if i do get any comments on weightloss i appreciate it.

if they dont know u on a diet and say u look like you lost weight u know u definately doing something right

binabodu

I am not telling many people. My hubby and bff and 2 other people "know". it's been 3 weeks for me and I keep thinking, this feels different. When people ask, I'm gonna tell them about my hard work.

Good job on 8 weeks!

JonathonMars

That is because dieting does not work. Overhaul your life, the way you eat / see food and you will see results. Food is not the enemy. Add exercise and learn to love it (find an exercise program that keeps you interested). It is all about your mindset.

I think most of us have been there. Some newbies are still there. But once you stop seeing eating/exercising as a chore or diet, it will be second nature. You just have to find what works for you. Good luck :flowerforyou:

I totally agree with this! In the past I've been restricting calories like crazy, eating WAY under my BMR. This time, I'm doing it for my health and nothing else. So I'm eating way more than I normally would. I feel so fulfilled and never really get hungry (unless I don't space my meals out well). If I want to have something "bad" I do it, and move on, guilt-free. Food is not my enemy!

Amanda_Rae_Rae

After so many failed attempts at dieting over the years, my mom doesn't believe I'm going to stick with this. She constantly asks my fiance'(who is also eating healthy) if we want to come over for burgers, go out to eat mexican, etc. She also never forgets to tell me "yeah you're looking good, but make sure to keep it up this time." I know it's my fault for causing her to doubt me, but it's getting verrryyy annoying. I understand how you are feeling.

VintageFit

I used to tell people I would 'diet' when I was planning to change my eating habits, eating healthier etc.
the responses I got were either pessimistic from the start or overly helpful! You can't really enjoy yourself if you have one or two friends constantly watching you and asking you "Can you eat that? Aren't you watching your weight?"

This time I around, I've been telling people (if they ask) that I'm changing my entire eating habits and lifestyle. I'm not dieting - this is forever! It seems to keep people away from being overly judging. They're mostly impressed and supportive. The few that are already saying I can't do it can just go to.. some really notnice places.

Amanda_Rae_Rae

I used to tell people I would 'diet' when I was planning to change my eating habits, eating healthier etc.
the responses I got were either pessimistic from the start or overly helpful! You can't really enjoy yourself if you have one or two friends constantly watching you and asking you "Can you eat that? Aren't you watching your weight?"

This time I around, I've been telling people (if they ask) that I'm changing my entire eating habits and lifestyle. I'm not dieting - this is forever! It seems to keep people away from being overly judging. They're mostly impressed and supportive. The few that are already saying I can't do it can just go to.. some really notnice places.

Oh boy, I have a friend who told me right to my face that I'm going to fail because I've made too many quick changes. She also has been trying to get me to eat all of the unhealthy foods that she enjoys. I guess some people THINK they aren't strong enough to make a lifestyle change to benefit their health so they have to try and stop others who are making that change.

AllTehBeers

That is because dieting does not work. Overhaul your life, the way you eat / see food and you will see results. Food is not the enemy. Add exercise and learn to love it (find an exercise program that keeps you interested). It is all about your mindset.

I think most of us have been there. Some newbies are still there. But once you stop seeing eating/exercising as a chore or diet, it will be second nature. You just have to find what works for you. Good luck :flowerforyou:

So true. The last two or three times I worked on making changes to my diet but living with my ex who loved eating out almost every meal made it so hard. Now that I live alone and my current flame is completely supportive, it makes everything a lot easier.

I've started running and for something I HATED in high school, I actually kind of enjoy my time in the park. I can go at my own pace with no else to keep up with or time limits to worry about. I've ran more miles in the last 8 weeks then I think I ever did in high school (with the exception of sports).

Thanks!

plarcade

Does anyone else struggle with feeling like you're being judged everytime you quit/restart your diet? Do you keep quiet on your eating habits to avoid "should you be eating THAT" and similar comments? Did it work for you?

I never tell people any more when I change my eating habits (lets not use the 'd' word ) It drives me NUTS when people comment on my food choices and this way I can just get on with it without anyone passing judgement/offering advice, etc.

AllTehBeers

I used to tell people I would 'diet' when I was planning to change my eating habits, eating healthier etc.
the responses I got were either pessimistic from the start or overly helpful! You can't really enjoy yourself if you have one or two friends constantly watching you and asking you "Can you eat that? Aren't you watching your weight?"

This time I around, I've been telling people (if they ask) that I'm changing my entire eating habits and lifestyle. I'm not dieting - this is forever! It seems to keep people away from being overly judging. They're mostly impressed and supportive. The few that are already saying I can't do it can just go to.. some really notnice places.

Oh boy, I have a friend who told me right to my face that I'm going to fail because I've made too many quick changes. She also has been trying to get me to eat all of the unhealthy foods that she enjoys. I guess some people THINK they aren't strong enough to make a lifestyle change to benefit their health so they have to try and stop others who are making that change.

It also doesn't help when your friends are like, good for you! Then immediately suggests going out to eat or running through the drive thru. They just don't seem to be aware that even if they don't want to eat right, suggesting fast food is NOT helping.

cardbucfan

I've been doing MFP since august of 2010 and I STILL get those stupid comments! Grrr! "Can you eat that on your diet?" "Are you gonna put that in your food diary?" Makes me nuts. Of course the answer is always a gentle smile and "yes, I will log it" and "it's not a diet, I can eat whatever I want as long as it fits in my calories for the day". There are people who refuse to believe I didn't give up stuff. I never told these people I was "dieting" but with success came all the "how did you do it?!""What's your SECRET?!" questions.

AllTehBeers

Does anyone else struggle with feeling like you're being judged everytime you quit/restart your diet? Do you keep quiet on your eating habits to avoid "should you be eating THAT" and similar comments? Did it work for you?

I never tell people any more when I change my eating habits (lets not use the 'd' word ) It drives me NUTS when people comment on my food choices and this way I can just get on with it without anyone passing judgement/offering advice, etc.

I can't stand when someone says dumb stuff. I drink diet soda because I like it and hate regular soda so I get, "oh you're on a diet?" Comments when I order it or buy it.

AllTehBeers

I've been doing MFP since august of 2010 and I STILL get those stupid comments! Grrr! "Can you eat that on your diet?" "Are you gonna put that in your food diary?" Makes me nuts. Of course the answer is always a gentle smile and "yes, I will log it" and "it's not a diet, I can eat whatever I want as long as it fits in my calories for the day". There are people who refuse to believe I didn't give up stuff. I never told these people I was "dieting" but with success came all the "how did you do it?!""What's your SECRET?!" questions.

People don't have much to say when you tell them you did it by eating right and exercise. Its always kind of a frown and a quiet "oh" with a change of topic lol

BrianSharpe

I've started running and for something I HATED in high school, I actually kind of enjoy my time in the park. I can go at my own pace with no else to keep up with or time limits to worry about. I've ran more miles in the last 8 weeks then I think I ever did in high school (with the exception of sports).

*******Warning********* Running is addictive (in a good way)

I chuckled when I read that because it could have been me writing it. I hated running in HS, I hated running in the army (and we did a lot of it....) and when I started running a few years ago it was more a case of knowing it was good for me - I was probably more surprised than anyone when I found I liked it.

Like you said in your OP, it's a matter of forming new habits. Keep up the good work!

AllTehBeers

I've started running and for something I HATED in high school, I actually kind of enjoy my time in the park. I can go at my own pace with no else to keep up with or time limits to worry about. I've ran more miles in the last 8 weeks then I think I ever did in high school (with the exception of sports).

*******Warning********* Running is addictive (in a good way)

I chuckled when I read that because it could have been me writing it. I hated running in HS, I hated running in the army (and we did a lot of it....) and when I started running a few years ago it was more a case of knowing it was good for me - I was probably more surprised than anyone when I found I liked it.

Like you said in your OP, it's a matter of forming new habits. Keep up the good work!

When I saw you posted I was ready for that silver tongue lol but thanks for the encouragement! I think of running as my real life video game, trying to add a quarter mile every week. I'm hoping to run a 5k someday so I've got some work to do.

BrianSharpe

After so many failed attempts at dieting over the years, my mom doesn't believe I'm going to stick with this. She constantly asks my fiance'(who is also eating healthy) if we want to come over for burgers, go out to eat mexican, etc. She also never forgets to tell me "yeah you're looking good, but make sure to keep it up this time." I know it's my fault for causing her to doubt me, but it's getting verrryyy annoying. I understand how you are feeling.

“It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up.”
Vince Lombardi

MoeNificent

I tell those closetst to me (and those that i know will be supportive) so they can hold me accountable. But co-workers, acquaintances, everyday joes....none of their business! Good luck!

danellekay

I to just do it quietly and then wait and see if anyone notices the weight loss. Then I feel really good about my changes!

plarcade

Does anyone else struggle with feeling like you're being judged everytime you quit/restart your diet? Do you keep quiet on your eating habits to avoid "should you be eating THAT" and similar comments? Did it work for you?

I never tell people any more when I change my eating habits (lets not use the 'd' word ) It drives me NUTS when people comment on my food choices and this way I can just get on with it without anyone passing judgement/offering advice, etc.

I can't stand when someone says dumb stuff. I drink diet soda because I like it and hate regular soda so I get, "oh you're on a diet?" Comments when I order it or buy it.

A former boyfriend of mine was a pro tennis player. Obviously VERY fit and if he had a soda before a match it was diet because he didn't want the sugar (he gave me a much better explanation, but of course I don't remember it now) so there are perfectly valid reasons for drinking sugar-free that don't include counting calories.

Aperture_Science

I don't publicly make a big deal out of eating, if asked I just say i'm eating healthy.

When I gave up smoking I didn't tell anyone until they noticed. I was a week in when my best friend (a non smoker) noticed. He was supportive. But there were others who noticed a few weeks in. One of these told me he didn't think "I'd last a week". It was great to tell him I was already two weeks smoke free.

FitLink

So on and off for the past 10 years I've tried many different diets. Each time announcing to friends and family that this is the time. I get going hard and fast and burn out within a week. Then I get frustrated, everyone is asking me about my diet and I have to shamefully tell them I've quit because it was too hard.

Well this time I'm dieting in secret. I want to avoid the embarassment of having tell everyone I've failed again. I'm just eating healthier, smaller portions, exercising when no one is around and wearing the same clothes. This Friday will mark 8 weeks that I've been on the ball. New habits have been formed and I think its getting easier the longer I do it. I'm hoping I can stick with it this time and finally get down to a healthy weight.

Does anyone else struggle with feeling like you're being judged everytime you quit/restart your diet? Do you keep quiet on your eating habits to avoid "should you be eating THAT" and similar comments? Did it work for you?

I used to. Now I simply tell people who comment on what I'm eating that it's NOYB, because it isn't. They then say stupid stuff like "I'm only trying to help," but they clearly are not. If people comment on my weight loss, I thank them. If they ask what I've done, I tell them. Otherwise, I don't "advertise" what I'm eating.

NICOLED73

I don't hide it. The more people that know the more accountable I am.

And, it isn't a diet. It's a lifestyle change.

Keep up the great work!!

AllTehBeers

I to just do it quietly and then wait and see if anyone notices the weight loss. Then I feel really good about my changes!

I haven't had anyone say anything yet but I have a lot of weight to lose. I'm noticing things myself (the boobs are always the first to go *sigh*) but its not to the point where people that I see every day would notice. I'm hoping in another few weeks and I can go down in clothes size so maybe that'll help.

FitLink

I tell those closetst to me (and those that i know will be supportive) so they can hold me accountable. But co-workers, acquaintances, everyday joes....none of their business! Good luck!

I don't feel it's responsible on my part to need to be "held responsible" by anyone else, so I don't tell anyone what my dietary choices are unless they comment on my weight loss and ask what I've done. I don't tolerate any comments on my food choices.

jenbunboo

I didn't tell my mom until I'd lost 30 lbs. She actually gave me a pretty good boost when I did, she worked at Curves for about 5 years, helping every woman in town weigh themselves. When I told her I had gotten up to 230 she said "No...I NEVER would have thought you were that big." She also walked 5 miles a day from as early as I can remember until the last few years (she just turned 74 and has started slowing down a tiny bit) and I call her frequently when I'm out walking just to let her know I'm thinking about her. My losing weight and working on it is helping bring us together, she hasn't even critiqued my eyeliner once! (a common trend when I was a teenager)

I am however working with my fiance to keep each other accountable on working out (him at the gym after work, me in the mornings with c25k or walking and evenings with random things I feel like doing, like yoga if I feel tight, weights or calisthenics if I feel like it...on a side note...I never thought in my life I would "feel like" doing crunches.) and we check up on each other on our eating habits. We make sure we're both eating enough, and not too little, on average, and making healthy choices when we can. It'll be a little easier to do that when he swaps to MFP.

When I hit the 30 lb mark, which was also getting back under 200 lbs, I was pretty darn excited about it. I told quite a few of my friends. It had been so easy, so I wanted to share. My excitement was kinda contagious, so I've gotten 2 started on working out and tracking their food on here. I've got a few more friends who are thinking about it, which is pretty gosh darn cool. I've been trying to help my friends get how it works, making healthier choices with their calorie allotments (yes, you could drink icy tea all day, but....) and why they need to hit their calorie goals, not eat way under them. They're getting it, so it is extra rewarding when they take off weight. I think they've all matured enough to the point where they understand there is no magic bullet, and watching your calories and building muscle is the way to go.

FitLink

I to just do it quietly and then wait and see if anyone notices the weight loss. Then I feel really good about my changes!

I haven't had anyone say anything yet but I have a lot of weight to lose. I'm noticing things myself (the boobs are always the first to go *sigh*) but its not to the point where people that I see every day would notice. I'm hoping in another few weeks and I can go down in clothes size so maybe that'll help.

Lordy, I WISH the boobies were the first to go! I wish they would go, period. No matter how much weight I lose, my ginormous bazingas are still enormous and extremely uncomfortable. I'd be HAPPY to give them to you!

BalenciaLynn

This is the story of my life.

Many times i have told my family and friends that im finally going to get serious about loosing weight and then life just throws me a bunch of unavoidable events and because of it i get stressed out and then i tend to fail on my weight loss journey.

I too have decided to just keep loosing weight and getting healthy to myself so then im not acting like "the boy who called wolf".

I find this way then you dont have as much pressure on your back for having to complete what you told everyone you were going to do.

tabik30

Sounds like you've made a lifestyle change this time and it's working well! Im in the exact same shoes you are and finding that eating healthy and moderate exercise feels wonderful! Cheers!