Secret Dieting

plarcade

Does anyone else struggle with feeling like you're being judged everytime you quit/restart your diet? Do you keep quiet on your eating habits to avoid "should you be eating THAT" and similar comments? Did it work for you?

I never tell people any more when I change my eating habits (lets not use the 'd' word ) It drives me NUTS when people comment on my food choices and this way I can just get on with it without anyone passing judgement/offering advice, etc.

I can't stand when someone says dumb stuff. I drink diet soda because I like it and hate regular soda so I get, "oh you're on a diet?" Comments when I order it or buy it.

A former boyfriend of mine was a pro tennis player. Obviously VERY fit and if he had a soda before a match it was diet because he didn't want the sugar (he gave me a much better explanation, but of course I don't remember it now) so there are perfectly valid reasons for drinking sugar-free that don't include counting calories.

Aperture_Science

I don't publicly make a big deal out of eating, if asked I just say i'm eating healthy.

When I gave up smoking I didn't tell anyone until they noticed. I was a week in when my best friend (a non smoker) noticed. He was supportive. But there were others who noticed a few weeks in. One of these told me he didn't think "I'd last a week". It was great to tell him I was already two weeks smoke free.

FitLink

So on and off for the past 10 years I've tried many different diets. Each time announcing to friends and family that this is the time. I get going hard and fast and burn out within a week. Then I get frustrated, everyone is asking me about my diet and I have to shamefully tell them I've quit because it was too hard.

Well this time I'm dieting in secret. I want to avoid the embarassment of having tell everyone I've failed again. I'm just eating healthier, smaller portions, exercising when no one is around and wearing the same clothes. This Friday will mark 8 weeks that I've been on the ball. New habits have been formed and I think its getting easier the longer I do it. I'm hoping I can stick with it this time and finally get down to a healthy weight.

Does anyone else struggle with feeling like you're being judged everytime you quit/restart your diet? Do you keep quiet on your eating habits to avoid "should you be eating THAT" and similar comments? Did it work for you?

I used to. Now I simply tell people who comment on what I'm eating that it's NOYB, because it isn't. They then say stupid stuff like "I'm only trying to help," but they clearly are not. If people comment on my weight loss, I thank them. If they ask what I've done, I tell them. Otherwise, I don't "advertise" what I'm eating.

NICOLED73

I don't hide it. The more people that know the more accountable I am.

And, it isn't a diet. It's a lifestyle change.

Keep up the great work!!

AllTehBeers

I to just do it quietly and then wait and see if anyone notices the weight loss. Then I feel really good about my changes!

I haven't had anyone say anything yet but I have a lot of weight to lose. I'm noticing things myself (the boobs are always the first to go *sigh*) but its not to the point where people that I see every day would notice. I'm hoping in another few weeks and I can go down in clothes size so maybe that'll help.

FitLink

I tell those closetst to me (and those that i know will be supportive) so they can hold me accountable. But co-workers, acquaintances, everyday joes....none of their business! Good luck!

I don't feel it's responsible on my part to need to be "held responsible" by anyone else, so I don't tell anyone what my dietary choices are unless they comment on my weight loss and ask what I've done. I don't tolerate any comments on my food choices.

jenbunboo

I didn't tell my mom until I'd lost 30 lbs. She actually gave me a pretty good boost when I did, she worked at Curves for about 5 years, helping every woman in town weigh themselves. When I told her I had gotten up to 230 she said "No...I NEVER would have thought you were that big." She also walked 5 miles a day from as early as I can remember until the last few years (she just turned 74 and has started slowing down a tiny bit) and I call her frequently when I'm out walking just to let her know I'm thinking about her. My losing weight and working on it is helping bring us together, she hasn't even critiqued my eyeliner once! (a common trend when I was a teenager)

I am however working with my fiance to keep each other accountable on working out (him at the gym after work, me in the mornings with c25k or walking and evenings with random things I feel like doing, like yoga if I feel tight, weights or calisthenics if I feel like it...on a side note...I never thought in my life I would "feel like" doing crunches.) and we check up on each other on our eating habits. We make sure we're both eating enough, and not too little, on average, and making healthy choices when we can. It'll be a little easier to do that when he swaps to MFP.

When I hit the 30 lb mark, which was also getting back under 200 lbs, I was pretty darn excited about it. I told quite a few of my friends. It had been so easy, so I wanted to share. My excitement was kinda contagious, so I've gotten 2 started on working out and tracking their food on here. I've got a few more friends who are thinking about it, which is pretty gosh darn cool. I've been trying to help my friends get how it works, making healthier choices with their calorie allotments (yes, you could drink icy tea all day, but....) and why they need to hit their calorie goals, not eat way under them. They're getting it, so it is extra rewarding when they take off weight. I think they've all matured enough to the point where they understand there is no magic bullet, and watching your calories and building muscle is the way to go.

FitLink

I to just do it quietly and then wait and see if anyone notices the weight loss. Then I feel really good about my changes!

I haven't had anyone say anything yet but I have a lot of weight to lose. I'm noticing things myself (the boobs are always the first to go *sigh*) but its not to the point where people that I see every day would notice. I'm hoping in another few weeks and I can go down in clothes size so maybe that'll help.

Lordy, I WISH the boobies were the first to go! I wish they would go, period. No matter how much weight I lose, my ginormous bazingas are still enormous and extremely uncomfortable. I'd be HAPPY to give them to you!

BalenciaLynn

This is the story of my life.

Many times i have told my family and friends that im finally going to get serious about loosing weight and then life just throws me a bunch of unavoidable events and because of it i get stressed out and then i tend to fail on my weight loss journey.

I too have decided to just keep loosing weight and getting healthy to myself so then im not acting like "the boy who called wolf".

I find this way then you dont have as much pressure on your back for having to complete what you told everyone you were going to do.

tabik30

Sounds like you've made a lifestyle change this time and it's working well! Im in the exact same shoes you are and finding that eating healthy and moderate exercise feels wonderful! Cheers!

AllTehBeers

A former boyfriend of mine was a pro tennis player. Obviously VERY fit and if he had a soda before a match it was diet because he didn't want the sugar (he gave me a much better explanation, but of course I don't remember it now) so there are perfectly valid reasons for drinking sugar-free that don't include counting calories.

Exactly. The only soda my mom would buy was diet so it was either that, milk or water most of the time. It just stuck and that's what I like.

Darlingir

I totally get what your saying...been through it a million times...esp. with my husband

lizziebeth1028

So on and off for the past 10 years I've tried many different diets. Each time announcing to friends and family that this is the time. I get going hard and fast and burn out within a week. Then I get frustrated, everyone is asking me about my diet and I have to shamefully tell them I've quit because it was too hard.

Well this time I'm dieting in secret. I want to avoid the embarassment of having tell everyone I've failed again. I'm just eating healthier, smaller portions, exercising when no one is around and wearing the same clothes. This Friday will mark 8 weeks that I've been on the ball. New habits have been formed and I think its getting easier the longer I do it. I'm hoping I can stick with it this time and finally get down to a healthy weight.

Does anyone else struggle with feeling like you're being judged everytime you quit/restart your diet? Do you keep quiet on your eating habits to avoid "should you be eating THAT" and similar comments? Did it work for you?

Congratulations on your progress!!! Well done:flowerforyou: Try to think of it as a lifestyle change and not a diet. A very healthy and exciting journey for YOU!....And screw what everybody else thinks!

lorihalsted

"Does anyone else struggle with feeling like you're being judged everytime you quit/restart your diet? Do you keep quiet on your eating habits to avoid "should you be eating THAT" and similar comments? Did it work for you?"

Generally I keep quiet about it, unless asked specifically. Progress will show over time and people will ask. I have dieted just about my whole life. Ask me now and I will say I am not dieting....it's a lifestyle change. Instead of the chocolate covered donut I will have an apple, instead of taking a nap I will walk around the block a couple times, instead of sleeping in before work I will work out. Small changes.....I'm not saying I won't ever have another donut but they are few and far between now and they fit into my calories for the day.

People are generally nosy and like to police others on what they should and should not do and quite honestly it's not any of their business. You know what you are supposed to do and in time in will just become a way of life.

Best of luck!!!!!

made2cravejen

I haven't even told my husband!! I'm sure he notices different changes such as 50 calorie bread in the house and things like that, but he hasn't said anything. I have told one friend who is on this journey with me. We keep each other accountable and send each other our food diary everyday. We also pray together each morning to overcome the struggles of the day. We call or text each other when there is a tough time in the day. Sometimes we exercise together, but not regularly as we both have kids at home. It helps to have someone who you don't feel judged by. I don't want anyone judging me. I'm sure the questions "How did you do it?" will come b/c everyone always wants that quick fix answer. I know it's a long road ahead, but I've lost 10 pounds since starting MFP on 3-15-12.

muffyjog

I mostly have done the same thing. I am trying to reframe it in my world. I'm not dieting. In fact, I still eat amazingly bad food much of the time (I blame the office snack room). But I promised myself, I would write down EVERYTHING I ate. That is my only requirement. And when I do, I am aware that what I eat isn't what I'd actually choose for myself.

That's made choosing better food much easier to see.

But I am not dieting. That I have lost 20 lbs paying attention is cool, but it's possibly just a flux. It was winter, now it's spring, I may just be shifting around because I'm more active. And that HAS to be enough.

Dieting is the #1 way to gain weight. Every study in the world has shown that. Dieting DOES NOT WORK. What works is changing the way you relate to the food you eat and noticing what you eat. Weight Watchers gives you firm boundaries. I've done WW four times in three countries. It's worked every time. So did the Scarsdale Diet, the Atkins Diet..etc. I've lost over 350 lbs in my life. And I weighed 301 pounds when I decided I'd had enough of dieting. Done. Never again.

What I am doing now, is not to look good (because I look fine), not to attract others (I want them to like me for my personality anyway), what I am doing now is working towards being a spry old lady. It's a selfish goal but there you have it. I want to move more, feel better in my body and fuel it with a better understanding. Enough of the dieting.

So I don't tell anyone. People are noticing and I shrug it off. It's not a big deal and it's not for them. That they like the way I look is nice. That they like me as I am...even better.

mommy1126

I don't hide it, but I don't bring it up either. My husband knows, my mom & sister know, and you all know. But, I refuse to be "on a diet". I am eating healthier, and making better choices for the way I want to end up looking & feeling.

AllTehBeers

I to just do it quietly and then wait and see if anyone notices the weight loss. Then I feel really good about my changes!

I haven't had anyone say anything yet but I have a lot of weight to lose. I'm noticing things myself (the boobs are always the first to go *sigh*) but its not to the point where people that I see every day would notice. I'm hoping in another few weeks and I can go down in clothes size so maybe that'll help.

Lordy, I WISH the boobies were the first to go! I wish they would go, period. No matter how much weight I lose, my ginormous bazingas are still enormous and extremely uncomfortable. I'd be HAPPY to give them to you!

Lol no thanks! I've got big enough jugs as it is. Its just starting to look like what I call "snowman syndrome"

Jezebel_Barbie

I don't use the word diet. I've CHANGED my diet, but this isn't a diet.

My boyfriend, brother and one or two friends know I want to lose weight, but then they knew I wanted to lose weight all throughout my weight gain too! I don't mention it to others because my weight, eating habits and lifestyle are none of their business. People are very quick to judge/comment, so if I don't give them the opportunity then thay can't. If anyone notices I will just say "I've taken up aerobics" which is true.

delilah47

Yes, after years of dieting, losing, gaining, re-starting, etc., I don't tell anyone anymore. I did the same with quitting smoking. I used to tell people and then fail and then beat myself up over it. Over and over. The last time I quit smoking was 6 months ago, yesterday. Some people are derailed by others saying "way to go" or " I hope you do it this time". I would rather not hear any "atta girls" and do it myself. That way if I fail, it's myself I have to answer to. If I succeed, I can feel smug about my accomplishments. I don't want it to be a public declaration. Maybe you are like me and need to be "covert" about your attempts at self improvement.