When the women's locker room becomes daycare

ishallnotwant

Is there a reason why the 10-12 year old isn't working out? Seems like it could be a good opportunity to start developing good habits.

That type of issue isn't relevant at the gym I go to.

I agree. My 10 year old has been having some issues at school with being bullied recently. I started taking her to the gym with me a couple of times per week and working out with her and it is doing a world of good for her self confidence. She really loves the one on one time, and trying to keep up with her gives me a killer workout.

fteale

I know that in England it's illegal to leave children under the age of 14 at home on their own...

No it isn't.

It is illegal to leave a child under 14 in sole care of younger children, but there is no legal age limit for leaving a child home alone, it is at the parent's discretion to determine how mature their child is.
However, it is still the parents' responsibility and they will be prosecuted if any harm comes to the children as a result of being left alone.

BrettPGH

12 year olds usually have more than an hour of homework a night, if she is able to get her work done there and doesnt mind the smelly nature of locker room (kids are much less likley to notice that sort of thing) then i wouldnt jump to conclusions about her and her mom. instead of being home but not interacting at all while the daughter does her homework, they both get what they need, if she is a single mom or if dad works evening shifts then this could be the only opportunity for mom to exercise

people shouldnt jump to conclusions about what kind of flexibility the mom has to choose another gym be it due to the location of other gym options and/or financial contraints (her work may have a deal with this gym, you have no idea what went in to the decision making process that resulted in what you see).

she is also teaching her daughter several subtle but important lessons here
1.value your health
2. make the most of what you have available to you
3. make a plan and stick to it
4. set long term goals and work hard for them.

these are all important lessons she is likely modeling for her daughter, whether they realize it or not.

doesnt sound ideal on the surface but there are many factors i can easily imagine that make that scenario seem perfectly fine or at the worst, the best they could/better than the alternative.

There are many other lessons her daughter could also be taking from the experience of sitting in a locker room waiting for her mother.

1. Exercise is more important than children
2. It's ok to leave your kids unattended in the company of strangers if you have something else you'd rather be doing
3. The joys of sitting in a women's locker room for 2 hours at a stretch. I mean what kid doesn't enjoy that?

Susancharlotte

Messed up replying...
I meant to say I agree with the post about not jumping to conclusions. It's what we do rather than what we say that influences our children. I'm in Scotland and no gym I've seen allows children in the work out areas, their insurance doesn't cover it. Most parents feel guilty enough without having to justify their choices. If the girl isn't unhappy then what's the problem? I don't think a 10 to 12 year old would willingly come along every night if it didn't suit them. And creating a working atmosphere for regular homework is great, better than her doing it in front of the TV!

cabaray

I wouldn't want to sit in there that long, so I wouldn't make my child.

melbot24

This would never happen in the mens locker room.
The old naked coots would want to show the little kid how to fly fish, or tell them war stories.

next time, try telling the girl war stories.

Hahahaha

ppenton

My daughter is 11 and she does go to the gym with me but she works out. It is good for her and it helps her release some of her energy and frustrations from the day. She enjoys going and most times makes me go even if I don't want to. She is my workout buddy and I wouldn't have it any other way.:happy:

MaritaD

It is a personal choice for sure. If the girl is almost 12 then I'd have to say she would be old enough to voice her displeasure if she didn't want to be there. Also you don't know the circumstances, you don't know how often the mother checks on her, if the child even wishes to come, you just don't know. I understand you feeling bad for her, but it might be fun for her.

I guess it's a personal decision of what to do, for me personally, I honestly won't take my kids -- even to the ones that have childcare. I work which means I've got 4 hours an night with them by the time I get home. Even an hour would be 25% less time with my kids. Not doing it.

I am the same way! I work full time days, and there is no way I'm going to spend my evenings not spending time with my daughter when I only get 4 hours a night with her. I get up early before work while she is still asleep and workout then How do you fit your workouts in?

melbot24

I feel bad for her too.

Maybe you should start talking to her, or at least saying hi.

I did try talking to her once, about the Voice. I asked if she saw it last season and if she liked any of the new contestants.
But I don't want to seem like a creeper.

I like the idea of trying to be a "big sister" that someone threw out, but again...I don't want to offend her mother. I know who she is, I've seen her around and I see them together when they arrive.

For the most part, I'm pretty oblivious when it comes to people at the gym. Ladies will come up to me and compliment me on my weight loss and tell me how they've see my progress and I honestly feel like I've never seen them before in my life. My point being, I'm not there to watch people and getting involved in other people's business. This is just something I see every time I'm there and it's hard to ignore

Kath712

That's a very selfish Mom.

She should either find a gym that allows her child to become a member, or a gym with other activities and/or daycare. In either case, she shouldn't be allowed to hang out in the locker room.

This!

danifo0811

I currently stay at home so I only go to a gym with (basic ) child care. My older daughter loves it and now I go 5 times a week instead of 3 on her request. I did a Kickboxing class at a boxing gym and while I loved it, I was limited to when my husband was home.

When I worked I used a tiny workout room at work and did 40 minutes before I picked my daughter up.

My gym has a rule that kids under 14 are not allowed in the change room without adult supervision. If you are concerned, mention at the desk and they can decide how they want to deal with it or if they value the mother's business they might be able to offer another space.

I don't think working out as a parent is bad but I do believe it is bad if your kids feel abandoned. As parents we have some responsibliy to find them something fun and safe. Don't know the whole story here though so no judgement.

sl1ngsh0t

Maybe something changed in Mom's schedule, which caused Daughter to have to come with her for a few weeks?

There may be a whole lot of factors we just don't know about which influenced this mom's decision. I don't agree with leaving my 13 year old at the gym during my workout, but then again, some parents just don't seem to have their heads on straight. Derp.

You can always report it to the gym staff if you're feeling uncomfortable with it. There's nothing wrong with that. Safety First, man

kapeluza

I don't see anything wrong with it. She's 10-12 not 5 and she is doing homework. I know a dozen parents that have to almost beat their children to do homework. And finally, I have seen worse places than a humid gym locker room. Try going to a restroom in the middle of nowhere China..... yeah....

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

maybe the daughter LIKES being where her mom is and prefers sitting in there to wait for her to finish work or working out as opposed to sitting at home alone. My daughter would rather be anywhere I am than where I'm not and would probably do the same thing and she'll be 11 on Monday.

healthyliving_girl

First reading this, I thought, "Wow. That's crazy."

Then, I thought more about it...and thought we don't know the whole story.

When I was a kid, my single parent mom took me a lot of places I didn't want to go... It was just part of the deal. It wasn't a big deal. Sure, I didn't love waiting in the car or waiting at her work for her, but life isn't always about what the kid wants - unlike what many children think nowadays.

By the time I was 12, I was walking home by myself, staying home alone, etc. Again, part of the deal of being a child of a single parent. I think at 12, if she is listening to music while doing homework, it's probably a non-issue to the girl. Maybe they don't live in a safe neighborhood and she doesn't want to leave the kid home alone?

I don't know.

After some thought, I figured having the kid waiting in the gym is probably safer than waiting in the car...?

AlsDonkBoxSquat

I belong to a facility that is a gym with a swim team attached. Parents come in with their kids, some swim on the team, others sit at tables and do homework while their parents workout. There's an floor and ceiling age limit to our child care center. While I don't think it's fair to require the child to sit in the stank locker room to do their homework, I don't see anything wrong with finding a more comfortable place in the facility for a child of that age to sit and do their school work. I really don't see what the big deal is, she's doing home work, when I was a kid I did home work in lots of different situations including going down the highway at 60 mph during the daily 1.5 hour round trip ride to swim practice or sitting in the car while my carpool's little sister practiced.

That being said, it would be nice for that mom to try to get that child active while at the gym, but you honestly don't know what they do at any other point in the day either, so . . . yeah.

regina2063

i feel for the mom and the child. but sometimes we have to do what we have to do...maybe there are reasons why she cant stay home. maybe the neighborhood isnt great or mom dont feel comfortable not being able to get to her daughter is there was an emergency and dont have anyone else to rely on....im quite sure the mom has her reasoning.

tig_ol_bitties

Does her mother not realize that pedophiles come in all shapes, sizes, and GENDERS???

TheDoctorDana

12 year olds usually have more than an hour of homework a night, if she is able to get her work done there and doesnt mind the smelly nature of locker room (kids are much less likley to notice that sort of thing) then i wouldnt jump to conclusions about her and her mom. instead of being home but not interacting at all while the daughter does her homework, they both get what they need, if she is a single mom or if dad works evening shifts then this could be the only opportunity for mom to exercise

people shouldnt jump to conclusions about what kind of flexibility the mom has to choose another gym be it due to the location of other gym options and/or financial contraints (her work may have a deal with this gym, you have no idea what went in to the decision making process that resulted in what you see).

she is also teaching her daughter several subtle but important lessons here
1.value your health
2. make the most of what you have available to you
3. make a plan and stick to it
4. set long term goals and work hard for them.

these are all important lessons she is likely modeling for her daughter, whether they realize it or not.

doesnt sound ideal on the surface but there are many factors i can easily imagine that make that scenario seem perfectly fine or at the worst, the best they could/better than the alternative.

This^ There is no way I would leave my child at home alone but that's my OCD.

Wolfena

That's a very selfish Mom.

She should either find a gym that allows her child to become a member, or a gym with other activities and/or daycare. In either case, she shouldn't be allowed to hang out in the locker room.

^^
I agree with this completely