Single Parents... I need your help....

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Let me start off this by saying why I am starting to finally look out for myself, by eating better and exercising. I have always been overweight... I have always ADORED food... and I have always just really didnt care too much about what i looked like... I had a failed ( very miserably failed) marriage... and a wonderful son to raise on my own, so why take the time for me if I was the only one for my son?

Until I recently saw a picture of me candidly taken by my sister and posted on FB... I was fat... I almost didnt recognize myself... and was litterally brought to tears ( the pic is on my profile...still motivates me!)

So from that day I started watching what I ate... I wrote down in a notebook everything I ate and drank ( before a friend introduced me to MFP)... and started busting my butt exercising....I have been at this for 7 weeks... and I am very proud of myself... still a very long way to go...but proud non the less...

SO... here is where I need your help.... I am alone.. literally. I raise my son by myself and I cant seem to find the time to workout like I want/need to. I havent figured out if I can do the gym thing since again... no sitter... I have done everything to this point at home. Weights, elliptical, and sheer body weight. How do you do it? If you do the gym, how? If you are working out at home...what are you doing? I really need some guidance here... not sure what to do! Thanks! Stacey
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Replies

  • sthrnchick
    sthrnchick Posts: 771
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    No body has this problem?
  • amuhlou
    amuhlou Posts: 693 Member
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    Since you havent gotten replies.. I am not a single parent but I do know that some gyms have a tot watch where you can drop off your child and get time to yourself to exercise. YMCAs do for sure.

    Aside from that, I know a lot of people work out at home during naptime, before the kids wake up, or with the kids right there if the kids are older.
  • sthrnchick
    sthrnchick Posts: 771
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    Thank you for replying... I know I cant be alone. My son is old enough to sit and watch me work out...but I feel a little guilty for taking that time away... shouldnt probably.... Hopefully someone will chime in and offer advise too... its hard to juggle sometimes! Thanks again!
  • NotGoddess
    NotGoddess Posts: 1,198 Member
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    Similar story here, but I have 4 boys, three of them teenagers. I work a job with crazy hours am always trying to fit too much into the day. But you need to be healthy for your kids.

    I try to do what I can to raise my general activity level. I swapped my electric mower for a push-reel manual mower-great leg workout with cardio and resistance. :) I took to walking as much as I could, parking at the end of the lot, taking the stairs, etc. I'll run during my lunch hour at work (we have showers) and after the kids go to bed I fit in 30-60 minutes of strength training or cardio. I cut down on my TV time. I still watch :) but it's usually catching up on the episodes on a Saturday and the number I watch has dwindled to 3-4, rather than 2hrs each night of 'whatever was on'.

    It's hard. If your child is young enough to need a baby sitter it's going to be even harder. I'm lucky my oldest can watch the youngest so I can go out for a walk, though many times he'll just come along with me (paces me on his bike). You just have to fit in what you can when you can.

    But don't sacrifice sleep for an extra 30 minutes of exercise- getting enough sleep is crucial.
  • BringingSherriBack
    BringingSherriBack Posts: 607 Member
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    I'm not single either, but I also have this problem since I work days and my husband works evenings. In the evenings I have homework with my 8 year old daughter, then dinner to fix for the two of us, housework, laundry, and making sure she gets her bath and gets ready for bed on time so my evenings are already busy and now her softball practice has started.
    What I have been doing is she and I will go for walks around town or on nights she has softball practice, I walk on the path around the ball fields at our park (1/4 mile path) for part of the time during practice. I spend the rest of the my time there watching and cheering on the girls while they bat, etc.
    I recently discovered a Zumba class that is done by an individual not through a gym and she allows older kids to come with their parents to the class and they can either play in the back of the room or join in (she doesn't charge for them). She charges by the class do I only pay when I can go and it is great. My daughter joined in and really enjoyed it.
    I don't know how old your child is, but you can always squeeze in a workout if you make it a priority. Little ones enjoy riding in the stroller on walks or you can do your videos while they nap. Older kids enjoy riding bikes with you or going for walks or going to classes with you.
    I don't have a gym near me that offers childcare so that isn't an option for me and I don't want to have to put my daughter in childcare anyway when she has been to school all day and then to daycare after school already.
    Hope this helps.
    Sherri
  • AshCakes88
    AshCakes88 Posts: 131 Member
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    I am also a single parent. I usually work out at home doing DVD'S or the Exercise on demand channel. Our local YMCA has free childcare for those who choose to bring their children when they want to work out. Also, when it gets warm, you can incorporate your child in your workout. Going out for a walk, going to the park and running around with the kids...trust me, that leaves you exhausted.

    Hope this helps!
  • sthrnchick
    sthrnchick Posts: 771
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    Similar story here, but I have 4 boys, three of them teenagers. I work a job with crazy hours am always trying to fit too much into the day. But you need to be healthy for your kids.

    I try to do what I can to raise my general activity level. I swapped my electric mower for a push-reel manual mower-great leg workout with cardio and resistance. :) I took to walking as much as I could, parking at the end of the lot, taking the stairs, etc. I'll run during my lunch hour at work (we have showers) and after the kids go to bed I fit in 30-60 minutes of strength training or cardio. I cut down on my TV time. I still watch :) but it's usually catching up on the episodes on a Saturday and the number I watch has dwindled to 3-4, rather than 2hrs each night of 'whatever was on'.

    It's hard. If your child is young enough to need a baby sitter it's going to be even harder. I'm lucky my oldest can watch the youngest so I can go out for a walk, though many times he'll just come along with me (paces me on his bike). You just have to fit in what you can when you can.

    But don't sacrifice sleep for an extra 30 minutes of exercise- getting enough sleep is crucial.

    Yeah, hes almost 10... so he cant watch himself... it is hard. I know that it can be done. Just hoping someone has some wisdom to help the juggle easier! Does working out that late mess with you sleep? I have avoided this time b/c I was afraid it would... besides... this is when I do EVERYTHING else that has to be done...thanks for chiming in.
  • sthrnchick
    sthrnchick Posts: 771
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    I am also a single parent. I usually work out at home doing DVD'S or the Exercise on demand channel. Our local YMCA has free childcare for those who choose to bring their children when they want to work out. Also, when it gets warm, you can incorporate your child in your workout. Going out for a walk, going to the park and running around with the kids...trust me, that leaves you exhausted.

    Hope this helps!

    It does... I guess from hearing from ya'll... its not going to be so easy for a while...thanks ladies!
  • r1ghtpath
    r1ghtpath Posts: 701 Member
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    you're not alone :-) i'm a single parent, to 5 kids. i get a break every other weekend, but that's it.

    i do have a gym membership, but more for my kids and me to have a pool membership and the perks that come with a lifetime fitness membership. i do go there for the treadmill and elliptical machines, because i don't have any room for that kind of equipment in my house.

    i work out at home mostly. i have done DVD work outs ( beach body- p90x and turbo fire) i use dumbbells and bands. i have a pull up/ chin up bar and a bunch of yoga mats. i just started body for life on monday. it's free and if you google it you can find all you need online. you just need dumbbells pretty much. tonight, i started the new rules of lifting for abs. got the book on my kindle.

    i mainly work out at night, after everyone is in bed. p90x is hard to do at night because they're LONG! body for life work outs on lifting days are like 40 min, and cardio days ( you have to either get outside or have access to something you can do interval training on) are about 20 min.

    you can do it :-) and no, you're not alone!!!!
  • sthrnchick
    sthrnchick Posts: 771
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    I'm not single either, but I also have this problem since I work days and my husband works evenings. In the evenings I have homework with my 8 year old daughter, then dinner to fix for the two of us, housework, laundry, and making sure she gets her bath and gets ready for bed on time so my evenings are already busy and now her softball practice has started.
    What I have been doing is she and I will go for walks around town or on nights she has softball practice, I walk on the path around the ball fields at our park (1/4 mile path) for part of the time during practice. I spend the rest of the my time there watching and cheering on the girls while they bat, etc.
    I recently discovered a Zumba class that is done by an individual not through a gym and she allows older kids to come with their parents to the class and they can either play in the back of the room or join in (she doesn't charge for them). She charges by the class do I only pay when I can go and it is great. My daughter joined in and really enjoyed it.
    I don't know how old your child is, but you can always squeeze in a workout if you make it a priority. Little ones enjoy riding in the stroller on walks or you can do your videos while they nap. Older kids enjoy riding bikes with you or going for walks or going to classes with you.
    I don't have a gym near me that offers childcare so that isn't an option for me and I don't want to have to put my daughter in childcare anyway when she has been to school all day and then to daycare after school already.
    Hope this helps.
    Sherri

    It does... he is almost 10. I guess my biggest struggle is finding the time for me vs taking time away from him...
  • sthrnchick
    sthrnchick Posts: 771
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    you're not alone :-) i'm a single parent, to 5 kids. i get a break every other weekend, but that's it.

    i do have a gym membership, but more for my kids and me to have a pool membership and the perks that come with a lifetime fitness membership. i do go there for the treadmill and elliptical machines, because i don't have any room for that kind of equipment in my house.

    i work out at home mostly. i have done DVD work outs ( beach body- p90x and turbo fire) i use dumbbells and bands. i have a pull up/ chin up bar and a bunch of yoga mats. i just started body for life on monday. it's free and if you google it you can find all you need online. you just need dumbbells pretty much. tonight, i started the new rules of lifting for abs. got the book on my kindle.

    i mainly work out at night, after everyone is in bed. p90x is hard to do at night because they're LONG! body for life work outs on lifting days are like 40 min, and cardio days ( you have to either get outside or have access to something you can do interval training on) are about 20 min.

    you can do it :-) and no, you're not alone!!!!

    Thank you for all the help! I will google tomorrow!
  • sarahdee2007
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    Maybe get outside with him and play soccer, basketball, tennis, etc. You get great cardio and he will be more active too! I'm not a single mom, but I stay at home with my son and my husband works nights so almost all of my workouts have to work with my son! He is only three, but he can keep up with my jogging (intervals) for more than a mile
  • BringingSherriBack
    BringingSherriBack Posts: 607 Member
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    Sounds like your son is old enough he could ride his bike with you or go for walks with you. He could ride his bike while you walk or jog if that would work better.
    Oh, I forgot to mention that my daughter even likes to do videos with me too. She will even lift weights with me and her dad too. She has a set of 2 lb hand weights she uses to do her curls when my husband is doing his bicep curls.
    You could take your son to the park and play soccer, frisbee, tennis or anything along those lines with him too, if he's big enough to do that.
    Kids love to hike too and that is a great workout. That makes a great weekend activity for the two of you.
  • dellashanks
    dellashanks Posts: 207 Member
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    I'm a single mom here! I just started about 2 1/2 weeks ago but, I have managed to lose weight before and I am losing now! YAY. I think you have to find time for you! I know taking away from your son can be hard but in the long run he's gonna get a more fit, motivated, and happier mom. Because I have lost 50+ pounds before my kids have actually told me they like me better when I'm active and happy. (no idea why I put it back on but.. single parent hood is challenging and stressful). I go for long walks when I can I also do videos at home. You must be doing something right tho, you have lost alot. Good luck to you.
  • sthrnchick
    sthrnchick Posts: 771
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    Sounds like your son is old enough he could ride his bike with you or go for walks with you. He could ride his bike while you walk or jog if that would work better.
    Oh, I forgot to mention that my daughter even likes to do videos with me too. She will even lift weights with me and her dad too. She has a set of 2 lb hand weights she uses to do her curls when my husband is doing his bicep curls.
    You could take your son to the park and play soccer, frisbee, tennis or anything along those lines with him too, if he's big enough to do that.
    Kids love to hike too and that is a great workout. That makes a great weekend activity for the two of you.

    We love to hike and do that a good bit on the weekends.... My prob is during the week.. juggling school and work...
  • sthrnchick
    sthrnchick Posts: 771
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    I'm a single mom here! I just started about 2 1/2 weeks ago but, I have managed to lose weight before and I am losing now! YAY. I think you have to find time for you! I know taking away from your son can be hard but in the long run he's gonna get a more fit, motivated, and happier mom. Because I have lost 50+ pounds before my kids have actually told me they like me better when I'm active and happy. (no idea why I put it back on but.. single parent hood is challenging and stressful). I go for long walks when I can I also do videos at home. You must be doing something right tho, you have lost alot. Good luck to you.

    I have lost some because I have a lot to loose... :) Thanks for responding... I feel so guity sometimes... how old are your kids?
  • peace_pigeon
    peace_pigeon Posts: 120 Member
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    It dosen't have to take time away from him, it can be time you spend together with him learning healthy habits and watching you (the most important person in his life) make your health and fitness a priority. Showing him that you have the respect and self esteem to take great care of yourself will be a life lesson. It can be really fun as well! I have an 11 year old and we walk, run (not "real" running of course, but playing), hike, bike, swim, ride horses, wii fit, all sorts of things. Playgrounds make great gyms! Just try swinging across those monkey bars without feeling like you are getting a workout! You could also look into programs at the local YMCA- perhaps he could play basketball, take a swimming lesson or some other activity while you get an hours workout? I really wish you the best of luck with this, and hope you find something that you and your son enjoy :flowerforyou:
  • BringingSherriBack
    BringingSherriBack Posts: 607 Member
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    It is hard to get me time when you are the primary caregiver for your child. As I said I don't want to put my child in childcare so I can workout when she has already been to school all day and then has to go to daycare after school.
    Maybe you can arrange a playdate for him with a friend occasionally so that you can have a little me time. I at least have my husband available on the weekends so I can have a little me time if I want or need it.
    Best of luck to you in finding a good balance of me time vs time with your son. Just remember that a little me time can make your time with your son that much better for both of you.
  • Happymom12
    Happymom12 Posts: 114 Member
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    same here single parent (father not in my sons life he is only 3). My work outs are always different and some days better than others. I walk on my breaks at work morning and afternoon that gives me over a mile. On lunch if I have time I will too. No time for gym nor able to having my 3 yr old. I work over 50 hours a week and also a full time student. At home me and my son he loves doing it with me will do Just Dance on the Wii or I will use work out DVDs. Right now I have supreme 90 and Power 90. I have a co-worker going to let me borrow p90x. I also just do other things like lift free weights, squats, skaters, run in place/ jog in place, sit-ups, crunches, jump in jacks, etc. I do what ever it takes to keep me feeling good and within my calories.

    edited to add: Good luck to you and if you need or want more friends on here for support you are more than welcome to add me.
  • DesignGuy
    DesignGuy Posts: 457 Member
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    I'm a single dad with 2 daughters. I have one of my daughters most of the time and the other almost all of the time.

    I solved my problem by working out at home. I do a morning workout before everyone gets up and then another in the evening. The gym isn't an option for me since time can be very precious between work, making meals, cleaning the house, etc.

    Right now I have an exercise bike, free weights, medicine ball, roller wheel thing and a Bowflex. I had a treadmill, but I got rid of it when I moved into an upstairs condo.

    I'm a big fan of home workouts. There's no excuse that way. And best of all, it CAN work with your busy life as a single parent.

    You can do it!