DATING QUESTION...

Bassafrass80
Bassafrass80 Posts: 69 Member
in Chit-Chat
So I met a guy online. We went on a date last Saturday. It seemed to go pretty well and ended with a nice kiss. We made plans to go out again this Saturday (tomorrow) We primarily communicate thru text as I have a 4 year old and work ETC and it's the easiest. However he has not texted me since Wednesday afternoon when I texted him. My question is...should I just leave well enough alone and not contact him and see if he contacts me to confirm our date? Should I contact him to confirm the date or will that seem desperate? I have no idea what I'm doing with this whole dating thing! LOL Just looking for some feedback. Thanks!
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Replies

  • Toddrific
    Toddrific Posts: 1,114 Member
    I'd personally confirm with him later tonight. Just one message though =P
  • warmachinejt
    warmachinejt Posts: 2,162 Member
    I'd say he's not interested?
  • Bassafrass80
    Bassafrass80 Posts: 69 Member
    I'd say he's not interested?

    This is what I was leaning towards...but it confuses me because why would he make plans for a second date with me if he wasn't interested?
  • Doreen_Murray
    Doreen_Murray Posts: 396 Member
    Don't do anything. Just let him come to you and if he does then great and if he doesn't then take yourself out mama! Have a glass of wine and enjoy a mini break. Get a pedicure or something:) This is coming from a single mom of a four year old as well. :flowerforyou:
  • gwenmf
    gwenmf Posts: 888 Member
    It's so hard to know what the other person is thinking.........especially in the beginning when you don't really know each other yet. Why not text and say something like, "is tomorrow still on or do we need to reschedule?"

    This let's him know you're still interested - in case he's wondering how you're feeling
    And also gives him the out - if he's not interested.

    I'd only send one text.

    If he really wants to see you, he'll make a point of getting in touch with you.
  • irishrose22
    irishrose22 Posts: 161 Member
    wait for him to txt you.
  • Bassafrass80
    Bassafrass80 Posts: 69 Member

    If he really wants to see you, he'll make a point of getting in touch with you.

    That's what I'm thinking. Guys are so confusing!!
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,855 Member
    I'd personally confirm with him later tonight. Just one message though =P

    ^^^ This. . If he responds, you're golden, if not. . well. .
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    Do nothing. Focus on others.
  • Doreen_Murray
    Doreen_Murray Posts: 396 Member
    I respectfully yet completely disagree with those saying text him today. As a matter of fact I think that if he waits and then texts you tomorrow shortly before you're supposed to meet then be really sweet, but tell him since you didn't hear from him you made alternate plans. :glasses:
  • Bassafrass80
    Bassafrass80 Posts: 69 Member
    I respectfully yet completely disagree with those saying text him today. As a matter of fact I think that if he waits and then texts you tomorrow shortly before you're supposed to meet then be really sweet, but tell him since you didn't hear from him you made alternate plans. :glasses:

    I like that! lol
  • MotorCityFemmeFatale
    MotorCityFemmeFatale Posts: 222 Member
    I respectfully yet completely disagree with those saying text him today. As a matter of fact I think that if he waits and then texts you tomorrow shortly before you're supposed to meet then be really sweet, but tell him since you didn't hear from him you made alternate plans. :glasses:


    this
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    What's so confusing? If it was a friend you made plans with and you weren't sure if it was still on, would you text? If you have so little chemistry with this person that you're afraid to pick up the phone, I'd say it wasn't a very good match.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    I respectfully yet completely disagree with those saying text him today. As a matter of fact I think that if he waits and then texts you tomorrow shortly before you're supposed to meet then be really sweet, but tell him since you didn't hear from him you made alternate plans. :glasses:
    Actually I think this would be very rude. As far as I can tell they made plans and there was no indication that the plans changed. She would just be standing him up because he didn't constantly reassure her.
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
    He probably thinks it doesn't need any more confirmation. I'd drop him a line tomorrow morning if you haven't heard by then saying, "Hey, are we still on for tonight? What time?"
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I think it's OK to text to confirm, but just leave it casual. If he doesn't respond, you have your answer. It's possible he's just been very busy or something. Or it's possible he's trying to let you down easy. But you won't know unless you ask.
  • Bassafrass80
    Bassafrass80 Posts: 69 Member
    I respectfully yet completely disagree with those saying text him today. As a matter of fact I think that if he waits and then texts you tomorrow shortly before you're supposed to meet then be really sweet, but tell him since you didn't hear from him you made alternate plans. :glasses:
    Actually I think this would be very rude. As far as I can tell they made plans and there was no indication that the plans changed. She would just be standing him up because he didn't constantly reassure her.

    That is true as well, we pretty much set up plans last Sunday about what we were going to do tomorrow, just didn't set a specific time.
  • Doreen_Murray
    Doreen_Murray Posts: 396 Member
    I respectfully yet completely disagree with those saying text him today. As a matter of fact I think that if he waits and then texts you tomorrow shortly before you're supposed to meet then be really sweet, but tell him since you didn't hear from him you made alternate plans. :glasses:
    Actually I think this would be very rude. As far as I can tell they made plans and there was no indication that the plans changed. She would just be standing him up because he didn't constantly reassure her.

    But she will in fact have other plans because if he doesn't contact her before her date in a reasonable amount of time, then she will be sipping on vino while getting a pedicure. So technically she will just be honest and polite. :flowerforyou:
  • skinnywithin
    skinnywithin Posts: 1,392 Member
    I'd say he's not interested?

    This is what I was leaning towards...but it confuses me because why would he make plans for a second date with me if he wasn't interested?

    because thats how they work it...make you feel all good and happy then leave you to dangle on a string...MEN !! oh so confusing...DO NOT CALL OR TEXT HIM ANYMORE ! let him come to you !! he is the one missing out sweetie !
  • Smuterella
    Smuterella Posts: 1,623 Member
    I respectfully yet completely disagree with those saying text him today. As a matter of fact I think that if he waits and then texts you tomorrow shortly before you're supposed to meet then be really sweet, but tell him since you didn't hear from him you made alternate plans. :glasses:


    this

    this is games. Games are bad.

    If you want to text to confirm, which I certainly would, then do it. You have to be yourself FROM THE OUTSET. If you pretend to be someone you are not, by acting like someone you are not, you are effective lying to the other party. you want him to like you for you, right?
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    I respectfully yet completely disagree with those saying text him today. As a matter of fact I think that if he waits and then texts you tomorrow shortly before you're supposed to meet then be really sweet, but tell him since you didn't hear from him you made alternate plans. :glasses:
    Actually I think this would be very rude. As far as I can tell they made plans and there was no indication that the plans changed. She would just be standing him up because he didn't constantly reassure her.

    But she will in fact have other plans because if he doesn't contact her before her date in a reasonable amount of time, then she will be sipping on vino while getting a pedicure. So technically she will just be honest and polite. :flowerforyou:
    Um no, it's not polite to make plans with someone and then decide you have something better to do. It's extremely rude.
  • Bassafrass80
    Bassafrass80 Posts: 69 Member
    What's so confusing? If it was a friend you made plans with and you weren't sure if it was still on, would you text? If you have so little chemistry with this person that you're afraid to pick up the phone, I'd say it wasn't a very good match.

    And no, I'm not "afraid" to pick up the phone. I've texted him multiple times since then, and he always answers me, just is never the one to text first.
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
    I'd say he's not interested?

    This is what I was leaning towards...but it confuses me because why would he make plans for a second date with me if he wasn't interested?
    You just met this guy and have no idea what else he has going on in his life. Why he would make plans for a second date isn't as relevant as the fact that he's not contacting you for it.

    You texted him Weds and he didn't respond. Do not send another. If he is interested and wants to see you he will contact you.
  • fruitsalad15
    fruitsalad15 Posts: 102 Member
    I respectfully yet completely disagree with those saying text him today. As a matter of fact I think that if he waits and then texts you tomorrow shortly before you're supposed to meet then be really sweet, but tell him since you didn't hear from him you made alternate plans. :glasses:

    Love this! And totally agree. He sounds like he's not interested, sorry, you can do better than be messed around! :smile:
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I would definitely text him asking for confirmation on the date. No need in wasting your time if he is not going to show up. Now if he confirms and then doesn't show up, move on to the next one.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    I respectfully yet completely disagree with those saying text him today. As a matter of fact I think that if he waits and then texts you tomorrow shortly before you're supposed to meet then be really sweet, but tell him since you didn't hear from him you made alternate plans. :glasses:
    Actually I think this would be very rude. As far as I can tell they made plans and there was no indication that the plans changed. She would just be standing him up because he didn't constantly reassure her.

    That is true as well, we pretty much set up plans last Sunday about what we were going to do tomorrow, just didn't set a specific time.
    It would be great if you'd mention ALL the pertinent information. If you don't have specific plans then of course you need to contact him. If you're still interested, of course. I still don't see why this is so confusing. Haven't you ever made plans with another person before? Does the word "dating" just freak you out for some reason?
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
    Um no, it's not polite to make plans with someone and then decide you have something better to do. It's extremely rude.

    This depends. OP, are the plans definite (i.e. you've discussed and agreed on where you're going and what time, etc.) or are they loose (just "getting together" on Saturday but not sure when/where)? If they're loose, at this point it's VERY rude for him to keep you hanging this long and I would absolutely make other plans. Otherwise you're saying "I'll sit around and wait for you until the last minute because I have no life of my own".

    If you have definite plans then I would have to assume you're still 'on' since you haven't heard otherwise.
  • NotGoddess
    NotGoddess Posts: 1,198 Member
    You say you made plans. Was it very casual - nothing more than a day, or did you talk times and where to meet or 'do it again' which implies same place, same time. If there was enough detail to presume a schedule then he may just be one of those guys that doesn't need to re-confirm because to him it's already set.

    If it's still iffy to you I don't see why a text msg to confirm time/location would be bad. For one, if he's really not interested it gives him a chance to bow out with honor e.g. forgot an appt, gotta cancel. If he doesn't reply, it might just be his phone is out, or he's a jerk and avoiding you. Either way it gives you a reason for not showing up e.g. I texted to confirm but didn't get an answer so made other plans.
  • chrishgt4
    chrishgt4 Posts: 1,222 Member
    In a similar situation before - it was a Friday night I had plans for.

    Texted the girl through the day to confirm and didn't get a reply for a good few hours so I organised some alternative plans. I followed up with another text letting her know that I had made other plans now, to be polite.

    She pretty much replied straight away and we ended up making plans for the next night instead.

    You can't be making him think you're available at the drop of a hat. Now I don't know how it's gone so far so I don't know how solid the plans were etc but if it's been since Wed and you texted last I would maybe send one asking if it is still on as you have other plans if not. Give it a couple of hours. If he replies confirming or cancelling, then you know the deal. If he comes back after that time period then just say you assumed he was dodging you and you now have other plans but are happy to rearrange.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I've lived with my boyfriend for seven years, so the question of whether he's interested is pretty much answered. And I still have problems getting him to commit to specific dates and times until the last minute. He always has a million things on his mind.

    His daughter came to town with her aunt and uncle (mother's sister and her husband) last week. I was told all along they were coming Monday morning, then three days before found out they were coming Sunday and had to scramble to get Easter dinner together. Some people are scatter-brained and that might be the case.

    Text him. If he doesn't respond, he's not interested. If he does and still wants to go, go. If he continues to be flakey, drop him.

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