DATING QUESTION...
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I'd say he's not interested?
This is what I was leaning towards...but it confuses me because why would he make plans for a second date with me if he wasn't interested?
In the world of on-line dating this can happen often. Trust me I've been there done that. I guess it's too easy to log on and move on to the next 'candidate'.
I think there is nothing wrong with texting him tonight to confirm your plans. If he doesn't respond then just leave it go and move on to the next. Also......if he does respond but not until the last minute (I found with internet dating that this happens a lot too).......that's just plain rude to leave you hanging like that. As a gentleman he should have confirmed already.
But on a very happy note, I did meet the man of my dreams online and we have been dating for 4 years. So hang in there and keep trying, it can happen!!!0 -
Well if you weren't confused before you posted, I bet we've REALLY helped you out! lmao! I still say don't text him and whatever you do...DO NOT CANCEL THE BABYSITTER!!!! If he doesn't contact you treat yourself and have some fun! Whoot Whoot!0
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Before the first date, did he communicate with you more than he does now? If so, he's just not that into you. Accept it and move on now before you invest more of your emotions. Unless, you are the type of person who doesn't mind having to be the one initiating communication. This isn't the 60s, we have the ability to send a quick message. If he can't take 60 seconds out of the day to ask how you are doing or how your day went. "Houston, we have a problem" IN MY OPINION.0
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It would be great if you'd mention ALL the pertinent information. If you don't have specific plans then of course you need to contact him. If you're still interested, of course. I still don't see why this is so confusing. Haven't you ever made plans with another person before? Does the word "dating" just freak you out for some reason?
Actually I think this would be very rude. As far as I can tell they made plans and there was no indication that the plans changed. She would just be standing him up because he didn't constantly reassure her.I respectfully yet completely disagree with those saying text him today. As a matter of fact I think that if he waits and then texts you tomorrow shortly before you're supposed to meet then be really sweet, but tell him since you didn't hear from him you made alternate plans. :glasses:
That is true as well, we pretty much set up plans last Sunday about what we were going to do tomorrow, just didn't set a specific time.
Well aren't you rude...sorry I didn't sit down and write out a line by line of the last 5 days of my life. No, dating doesn't freak me out. Yes, obviously I've made plans with another person before. No, I wouldn't be outright rude and cancel. I really just wanted others feedback on what they thought I should do.0 -
I would just say wait and let him come to you, maybe he has been super busy or just not thinking....who knows? If he is interested he will text you back if not don't waste your time!0
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What's so confusing? If it was a friend you made plans with and you weren't sure if it was still on, would you text? If you have so little chemistry with this person that you're afraid to pick up the phone, I'd say it wasn't a very good match.
^this. If you reconfirm thats fine, but people get busy sometimes, there might be a reason he isn't replying to you. Broken phone possibly?0 -
Let him contact you.0
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I'd say leave it. If he contacts you then great. If not, Just move on
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THIS...It's so hard to know what the other person is thinking.........especially in the beginning when you don't really know each other yet. Why not text and say something like, "is tomorrow still on or do we need to reschedule?"
This let's him know you're still interested - in case he's wondering how you're feeling
And also gives him the out - if he's not interested.
I'd only send one text.
If he really wants to see you, he'll make a point of getting in touch with you.0 -
I think it's OK to text to confirm, but just leave it casual. If he doesn't respond, you have your answer. It's possible he's just been very busy or something. Or it's possible he's trying to let you down easy. But you won't know unless you ask.
I agree with this, a simple "hey, I was trying to plan my day tomorrow and was wondering what's going on" would remove a lot of anxiety and questions. That way he can either 1) confirm, 2) let you down easy and you can make other plans, or 3) not respond and you can make other plans.
Edit because you already discussed what you were going to do: "hey, I was trying to plan my day tomorrow and was wondering if we're still going to xxx."0 -
I'd personally confirm with him later tonight. Just one message though =P
^^^ This. . If he responds, you're golden, if not. . well. .
Me too - this feels the less gamey. Waiting for him and then saying you made other plans feels like playing a game.0 -
I was smiling while reading all of this! I did online dating for years before meeting my boyfriend online two years ago. I totally understand what you are going through... been there many times!!
Just a thought- maybe he is not big into texting? maybe he was texting you before because he had not met you yet etc, but really he is not a big phone guy.... and he figures he has made the plans.. done.
OR
he is being a typical guy lol! From what I have seen, guys that are really into you will text you every day or so and just say hey, how are you... cant wait till our date, etc.
I would wait for him to text you.... although I know that is hard!!!0 -
I'd leave it alone. Continue on with my life. When a guy is really interested and really wants to pursue you he does. Maybe it's just cause i'm a little older now and i'm a bit wiser but I wouldn't deal with the game playing. The not calling back the missing in action for days at a time all these things sned up red flags in my head. I met my now fiance using Match.com and once we started texting (before we even went on the first date) He texted me everyday for like 2 weeks. Than we talked on the phone and i talked to him everyday till our first date. And i have toalked to him everyday since. If he comes back around than i would go back out with him but I wouldnt go out of my way to track him down or keep texting him if he isnt responding.0
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I'd personally confirm with him later tonight. Just one message though =P
^^^ This. . If he responds, you're golden, if not. . well. .
Me too - this feels the less gamey. Waiting for him and then saying you made other plans feels like playing a game.
I don't know about game - If I was in that situation I actually would be thinking about making plans in case they ended up calling it off. At a certain point - you have to confirm those backup plans. If he confirms after you have confirmed elsewhere then it's just tough luck and I would suggest reorganising.0 -
I'm assuming you need to get a sitter for your daughter, and need to know for what time, since the schedule wasn't firmed up.
I don't think you should play games (though he very well may be.. or not...). I think you should text him "Are we on for tomorrow? What time? I need to arrange a sitter. If I don't hear from you by ____, I won't be able to make arrangements for tomorrow and we will need to reschedule."
Then I'd leave it at that. Don't call, text or attempt to reschedule. Let him contact you. He could be busy. He could be clueless. He could be playing games. You don't know him well enough to figure out which it is, but it is HIS turn to respond.0 -
You pointed out that you are the one to initiiate the texts and then he responds. Are you texting too much? Maybe he thinks your being pushy? A man likes to chase, not be chased. If you contact him yet again (i.e. initiate....he might think your clingy) - in other words, don't initiate another contact - it's HIS turn0
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It's so hard to know what the other person is thinking.........especially in the beginning when you don't really know each other yet. Why not text and say something like, "is tomorrow still on or do we need to reschedule?"
This let's him know you're still interested - in case he's wondering how you're feeling
And also gives him the out - if he's not interested.
I'd only send one text.
If he really wants to see you, he'll make a point of getting in touch with you.
Excellent advice.
I'm a guy, and a relatively confident one...but I don't want to be a pest. If I show interest, and for some reason the other person's interest seems to fall off, I'll leave her alone.
Usually after a final message though...just to be sure.0 -
LOL as a guy reading this post. its very interesting and amusing to see how woman respond differently... :-)0
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Hopefully he'll be considerate enough to let you know either way. One more short text and that is it! Don't make yourself overly available...but maybe something happened ...you never know. If he doesn't text you back today take out that trash and get to the staition cuz men are like buses girl!!!! You're too good for that nonsense!!!:laugh:0
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So there are "rules" and if you want, you can play by them. He might be doing that.... I say send a message in a bit and see what he says.
I've been on on tons of dates since January.. some that I met online, some that I met in person while out. Some of them would show interest yes, but then there'd be that overanalyzing. Why hasn't he called since 2 days ago? Why hasn't he texted me back? etc etc
I recently started seeing someone. He is the picture of He's Just THAT Into Me. He called, texted, apologized if he was late to get back to me. He made the effort to see ME. He moved mountains (okay not really but you know what I mean, he came straight from work to Starbucks to buy me a coffee and see me) one afternoon to see me for 30 minutes before his fishing adventure with his brother. He's just that awesome and that into me.
I have not ONCE been a mad woman with him. I have not once looked at my phone wondering when he's going to text or call. He's just always there, not clingy because we can go w/o talking for a while but I just have peace of mind that he's into me. He says it and backs it up with his words.
Just like the book says, when a guy wants to date you, you'll know. When he wants to be around you, you'll know. Guys aren't that complicated. They see what they want and they'll go for it.
A guy once told me (thanks for that!!! you know who you are) that the guy who's interested in me and is worth it is one who will follow me around like a puppy dog. My boyfriend isn't a puppy dog per say (he's much cuter) but man he sure knows how to make me know he's likes ME.
Right before NYE, I started seeing this one guy. Our 1st date went great so he asked me what I was doing on NYE. I had no plans yet so I accepted his invitation. Of course he went poof and I didn't hear from him. I texted him about 3 days later and it was either a very short cold response or he didn't respond, I don't remember. Then he texted me he had been stressed out about blah blah. YEah yeah. I went ahead and made new NYE plans. Next!0 -
This ^^^^ makes me think...a lot...I have been checking my damn phone too much...hmmm!0
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This ^^^^ makes me think...a lot...I have been checking my damn phone too much...hmmm!
READ THE BOOK if you haven't yet!!!
Heres my favorite quote.. I have it on my fridge actually lol.
"a picture of what you'll never see when you are with a guy who's really into you: You'll never see you staring maniacally at your phone, willing it to ring. You'll never see you ruining an evening with friends because you're calling for your messages every fifteen seconds. You'll never see you hating yourself for calling him when you know you shouldn't have. What you will see is you being treated so well that no phone antics will be necessary. You'll be too busy being adored."
I'm not trying to say my bf is the best (but he is! :bigsmile: ) but I haven't called him but maybe 2 times at the most, in the 3 weeks we've dated. I have texted him, I'm sweet to him and I definately let him know he's on my mind but I haven't had to initiate much.
If I'm not mistaken the author of the book mentioned this. He said during his courtship with his wife, she NEVER initiated a call. It was all him because he was just that into her.
Now maybe this is a high standard but I'm living it right now that it's possible. A guy can be that crazy for you.0 -
Online dating is a bit of a game and you have to set your boundaries or people will just step all over you. If you don't set up your boundaries, you might as well start carrying nunchucks on your dates.
By saying no thanks after he made you wait all week to know if you're on for Saturday, you're saying that's not acceptable. If he's interested, he'll ask again and that goes for any guy. I don't do same day date requests because even if I and my sitter are available that day I don't want to start the habit of let's go grab a drink or whatever because it's not reality for my single parent dating butt! :drinker:
That's my boundary, you'll find yours along the way. The more you say no thanks up front, the easier it is, and you'll find you'll start attracting people who naturally respect your boundaries. Not sure why it is, it just is. Crazy weird, but true story!0 -
I'd personally confirm with him later tonight. Just one message though =P
^^^ This. . If he responds, you're golden, if not. . well. .
agreed.0 -
I'd personally confirm with him later tonight. Just one message though =P
^^^ This. . If he responds, you're golden, if not. . well. .
This. Definately keep it to one message. And if you don't get a responce, call up a girl friend and go out any way!0 -
I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and text him tomorrow morning. If you don't get answer by 4pm I'd go on a date with another guy.0
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You gotta forget him, sorry:(0
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I'd personally confirm with him later tonight. Just one message though =P
^^^ This. . If he responds, you're golden, if not. . well. .
Me too - this feels the less gamey. Waiting for him and then saying you made other plans feels like playing a game.
I don't know about game - If I was in that situation I actually would be thinking about making plans in case they ended up calling it off. At a certain point - you have to confirm those backup plans. If he confirms after you have confirmed elsewhere then it's just tough luck and I would suggest reorganising.
Oh I agree with you - but that's why I would send one (and only one) last text. If no response, then I would certainly make other plans just so you don't end up staying at home thinking about it. I meant it would be gamey to make those plans without at least checking first with the intention of telling him you had other plans.0 -
Don't do anything. Just let him come to you and if he does then great and if he doesn't then take yourself out mama! Have a glass of wine and enjoy a mini break. Get a pedicure or something:) This is coming from a single mom of a four year old as well. :flowerforyou:
What ^^^ she said. I'm a single mom, too. It may be an honest goof on his part, but I don't like feeling like I am doing all the work in planning stuff like that. I'd see if he resurfaces, and go from there. Either way, have a great weekend!0 -
My 21 year old son is going through something similar. He met a girl at a reception of a mutual friend, and they danced and talked. She went out of her way to find me on facebook and ask for his phone number etc... Then all of the sudden she is throwing him morsels, granted she is a busy girl, works, goes to school, but he is confused as to why she would go out of her way to contact his mom to get in touch with him, then very little.
My advice to you, as it was to him, was to wait it out. If there is interest, you will get a text to let you know.0
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