?? for the married ladies
stephc0711
Posts: 1,022 Member
Is it just my husband, or does anyone else's husband think that every man who looks at me wants to hook up with me?
Examples:
I have a couple of my favorite bands following me on Twitter, I told him, he says: "They probably think you're a groupie and by following you, they can get laid.:
I ran out of gas on my way to work the other morning, and it really made my day crappy. The male attendant at the store tried making me feel a little better by telling me I was very pretty. My husband's response? "How old was he? Your age? He was probably hitting on you."
It's comments like this all the time, like a guy can't just say something nice to me without wanting to get in my pants! Does anyone else have this problem with their husband? Guys, do you have a clue what his deal is???
Examples:
I have a couple of my favorite bands following me on Twitter, I told him, he says: "They probably think you're a groupie and by following you, they can get laid.:
I ran out of gas on my way to work the other morning, and it really made my day crappy. The male attendant at the store tried making me feel a little better by telling me I was very pretty. My husband's response? "How old was he? Your age? He was probably hitting on you."
It's comments like this all the time, like a guy can't just say something nice to me without wanting to get in my pants! Does anyone else have this problem with their husband? Guys, do you have a clue what his deal is???
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Replies
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Yes. Hubby has told me over and over that men do not want to be friends, they just want to sleep with women. I say, well maybe not ALL men? He says, yes. all men. I say - well, maybe men don't find all women attractive, and if they don't than they could be friends with them. He insists, no. even if they are not attractive, if given a chance, he will sleep with her.
I don't really know what to make of it.0 -
I definately don't get it.... I'm pretty sure that not every man on this earth is interested in sleeping with me... maybe it's a weird compliment?0
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I agree with your husband. At least mine is that way. If a woman flirted with him thats all it took. 4 affairs later, i finally left him.Yes. Hubby has told me over and over that men do not want to be friends, they just want to sleep with women. I say, well maybe not ALL men? He says, yes. all men. I say - well, maybe men don't find all women attractive, and if they don't than they could be friends with them. He insists, no. even if they are not attractive, if given a chance, he will sleep with her.
I don't really know what to make of it.0 -
Sounds like he has some insecurities that he needs to deal with. But some guys really do think that everyone wants to sleep with their wife/girlfriend. Take it as a compliment
That means your husband thinks that you are attractive enough to get any guy you talk to.
Personally, I don't have this problem. I had mostly male friends growing up and my husband had mostly female friends growing up, so we both understand it's completely possible to have friends of the opposite gender without the desire for sex. Usually, he tells me when a guy hits on me, because I don't catch on. Apparently, some of my uncle's friends have a "guy-crush" on me as my husband says lol I makes me feel good to think that someone other than my husband finds me attractive.
Sorry I got a little off topic there...0 -
I agree with your husband. At least mine is that way. If a woman flirted with him thats all it took. 4 affairs later, i finally left him.Yes. Hubby has told me over and over that men do not want to be friends, they just want to sleep with women. I say, well maybe not ALL men? He says, yes. all men. I say - well, maybe men don't find all women attractive, and if they don't than they could be friends with them. He insists, no. even if they are not attractive, if given a chance, he will sleep with her.
I don't really know what to make of it.
Yikes!! Good for you, leaving the jerk!! But, surely not all men are that way!0 -
Hmmm...I think maybe you could look at it as some kind of compliment. It would be interesting to know if he is able to just opening compliment you on your appearance. My husband and I are very trusting and not really jealous. My husband has never said anything like that to me...men are weird- who knows!0
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If you know it drives your husband crazy, why did you tell him what the attendant at the gas station said? My boyfriend is very confident in himself and our relationship. He actually likes it when we're out and other men pay attention to me. Makes him happy that others think his girl is hot : )0
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My boyfriend does too, Of course Alot of guys ARE just trying to bang you. Your bf knows this since he is a guy himself lol Thats why hes worried.0
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Sounds like he has some insecurities that he needs to deal with. But some guys really do think that everyone wants to sleep with their wife/girlfriend. Take it as a compliment That means your husband thinks that you are attractive enough to get any guy you talk to.
Personally, I don't have this problem. I had mostly male friends growing up and my husband had mostly female friends growing up, so we both understand it's completely possible to have friends of the opposite gender without the desire for sex. Usually, he tells me when a guy hits on me, because I don't catch on. Apparently, some of my uncle's friends have a "guy-crush" on me as my husband says lol I makes me feel good to think that someone other than my husband finds me attractive.
Sorry I got a little off topic there...
Lol, I LOVE feeling attracting to other people, but it mostly just makes me happy that bc someone else thinks I am, surely my husband does too. I usually don't catch on, unless it's very very obvious!!0 -
He feels threatened. So rather than admit to his feelings of inadequecy, he turns the situation into the other guy being lecherous...or subtly implying that you did something wrong. Not saying that only guys do this....women do it too...it's human nature. But just recognize it for what it is and don't feel like you did anything wrong.0
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My husband does the same damn thing, lol.0
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Mine is def. not like that lol0
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If you know it drives your husband crazy, why did you tell him what the attendant at the gas station said? My boyfriend is very confident in himself and our relationship. He actually likes it when we're out and other men pay attention to me. Makes him happy that others think his girl is hot : )
It's not so much that it bothers him... I don't think. :S Maybe I should find out.... I just was telling him about how nice it was that someone was trying to be nice when I was so near tears, since it was such a crappy day. (5 am is not a very good time to run out of gas on the highway!!)0 -
even when i met my husband he didn't make comments like that (190s when we met)
he has no problems with me being friends with guys, i even am friends with my ex .. he has no problems ..
me and hubby has been together since October 1999 .. he is very secure ..0 -
If you know it drives your husband crazy, why did you tell him what the attendant at the gas station said? My boyfriend is very confident in himself and our relationship. He actually likes it when we're out and other men pay attention to me. Makes him happy that others think his girl is hot : )
It's not so much that it bothers him... I don't think. :S Maybe I should find out.... I just was telling him about how nice it was that someone was trying to be nice when I was so near tears, since it was such a crappy day. (5 am is not a very good time to run out of gas on the highway!!)
Some things are better left unsaid:)0 -
He feels threatened. So rather than admit to his feelings of inadequecy, he turns the situation into the other guy being lecherous...or subtly implying that you did something wrong. Not saying that only guys do this....women do it too...it's human nature. But just recognize it for what it is and don't feel like you did anything wrong.
This as well as an age thing to maybe?0 -
If you wanna be happy
For the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife,
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly girl to marry you.
A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall.
As soon as he marries her, then she starts
To do the things that will break his heart,
But if you make an ugly woman your wife,
You'll be happy for the rest of your life,
An ugly woman cooks her meals on time,
She'll always give you peace of mind.
If you wanna be happy
For the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife,
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly girl to marry you.
Don't let your friends say
You have no taste,
Go ahead and marry anyway,
Though her face is ugly,
Her eyes don't match,
Take it from me she's a better catch.
If you wanna be happy
For the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife,
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly girl to marry you.
Say man.
Hey baby.
I saw your wife the other day.
Yeah?
Yeah, she's ugly.
Man, she's ugly but she sure can cook, baby.
Yeah? Alright...
~Jimmy Soul0 -
I'm lucky that my husband isn't like that at all. If I said someone hit on me he'd be like well that's because you're cute. There is nothing wrong with someone else finding you attractive and your mate should be so proud that he's got a beautiful woman!0
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Not married, but been with my boyfriend for almost nine years now. This is definitely his knee-jerk reaction, but he's aware that it's not realistic to see things that way. I've had almost exclusively male friends my entire life (I can only think of one female friend and we weren't close) and at first, my boyfriend freaked out about it. But after meeting them and building up trust over the years, it doesn't bother him anymore (at least not very much). I think it also helps that I'm completely oblivious to flirting, so compliments or pickup lines that might affect other people bounce right off of me and don't really pose a threat to him! And finally, when he gets that way, I ask him, "Do you want to sleep with every woman you talk to?" Once he blurts out a vehement "HELL NO!" he gets the point. :laugh:0
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oohh my husband is wicked jealous and its more than annoying...i havent had any friends since before we got married over five years ago because its just easier that way. Even if i have a friend thats a girl he freaks out if she has a boyfriend or a brother or something that talks to me. I dont even like going anywhere with him sometimes, because he thinks every guy looks at me and wants me, its absolutely ridiculous! im not saying im terribly ugly but i am certainly not considered 'hot' these days lol0
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Not married, but been with my boyfriend for almost nine years now. This is definitely his knee-jerk reaction, but he's aware that it's not realistic to see things that way. I've had almost exclusively male friends my entire life (I can only think of one female friend and we weren't close) and at first, my boyfriend freaked out about it. But after meeting them and building up trust over the years, it doesn't bother him anymore (at least not very much). I think it also helps that I'm completely oblivious to flirting, so compliments or pickup lines that might affect other people bounce right off of me and don't really pose a threat to him! And finally, when he gets that way, I ask him, "Do you want to sleep with every woman you talk to?" Once he blurts out a vehement "HELL NO!" he gets the point. :laugh:
I'm really oblivious, too. So I wonder if he's just pointing out, or over reading??0 -
oohh my husband is wicked jealous and its more than annoying...i havent had any friends since before we got married over five years ago because its just easier that way. Even if i have a friend thats a girl he freaks out if she has a boyfriend or a brother or something that talks to me. I dont even like going anywhere with him sometimes, because he thinks every guy looks at me and wants me, its absolutely ridiculous! im not saying im terribly ugly but i am certainly not considered 'hot' these days lol
I had a boyfriend like that once... I just couldn't stand it. I HAVE to have 'girl time' ! But, if you're happy, more power to you!!0 -
Well even after all this time, I still don't get it even when HE'S doing it! One of those things that seems beyond my comprehension!Not married, but been with my boyfriend for almost nine years now. This is definitely his knee-jerk reaction, but he's aware that it's not realistic to see things that way. I've had almost exclusively male friends my entire life (I can only think of one female friend and we weren't close) and at first, my boyfriend freaked out about it. But after meeting them and building up trust over the years, it doesn't bother him anymore (at least not very much). I think it also helps that I'm completely oblivious to flirting, so compliments or pickup lines that might affect other people bounce right off of me and don't really pose a threat to him! And finally, when he gets that way, I ask him, "Do you want to sleep with every woman you talk to?" Once he blurts out a vehement "HELL NO!" he gets the point. :laugh:
I'm really oblivious, too. So I wonder if he's just pointing out, or over reading??0 -
Well even after all this time, I still don't get it even when HE'S doing it! One of those things that seems beyond my comprehension!Not married, but been with my boyfriend for almost nine years now. This is definitely his knee-jerk reaction, but he's aware that it's not realistic to see things that way. I've had almost exclusively male friends my entire life (I can only think of one female friend and we weren't close) and at first, my boyfriend freaked out about it. But after meeting them and building up trust over the years, it doesn't bother him anymore (at least not very much). I think it also helps that I'm completely oblivious to flirting, so compliments or pickup lines that might affect other people bounce right off of me and don't really pose a threat to him! And finally, when he gets that way, I ask him, "Do you want to sleep with every woman you talk to?" Once he blurts out a vehement "HELL NO!" he gets the point. :laugh:
I'm really oblivious, too. So I wonder if he's just pointing out, or over reading??
Haha, I'm not quite that bad! But then, he's pretty handsy, so he makes it pretty clear what's on his mind! :blushing:0 -
My husband is not like this, I really don't think he cares at all who I talk to. He is not the jealous type, well not until recently because the weight is coming off.0
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My husband is sweet and tells me all the time that he thinks I'm attractive, which is very reaffirming to hear. There have been a handful of times that other guys have blatantly hit on me and made their intentions obvious, and my husband was not happy with that. Those rare cases I did share the situation with him because it was more than being flirtatious, and I'd never want to hide anything like that from him. While he expressed his disapproval those times, I've never felt like he assumed every guy that gives me a second look wants to sleep with me. My son went to the grocery store with me awhile back (he's 16), and when we got home he thought it was so funny to report to my husband that some guy was checking me out. I had no idea! I honestly don't pay attention to things like that. My husband just laughed and winked at me and said, "That's right! Your Mama is a hottie! If I were a guy at the grocery store and saw her, I'd look, too!" Of course, while I think he is TOTALLY biased, it did make me feel good that he can openly appreciate the fact another man may find me attractive enough to give me a second look. I think it all depends on the situation. If it's the kind of attention that is disrespectful, then I think your hubby has a right to know about it, and he has a right to not like it. But if it's just the occasional guy being a little flirty, nice, or taking a second look… I don't think that means they want to sleep with you. My husband is fine with me having male friends, and I'm okay with him being friends with females as long as we both continue to respect our marriage and each other above anyone or anything else. As long as we have trust, neither one of us feels threatened. But I can only speak for my own relationship. Every couple is different. Good luck!0
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No, my husband is not at all like that. He is very secure in our marriage (13 years) and our 4 kids. He is flattered when other men show interest in me (and they do -- I'm a bellydancer), but he knows without a doubt I'm as devoted as he is.0
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Yes. Hubby has told me over and over that men do not want to be friends, they just want to sleep with women. I say, well maybe not ALL men? He says, yes. all men. I say - well, maybe men don't find all women attractive, and if they don't than they could be friends with them. He insists, no. even if they are not attractive, if given a chance, he will sleep with her.
I don't really know what to make of it.
That is the premise of my favorite movie: When Harry Met Sally. ha.0 -
oohh my husband is wicked jealous and its more than annoying...i havent had any friends since before we got married over five years ago because its just easier that way. Even if i have a friend thats a girl he freaks out if she has a boyfriend or a brother or something that talks to me. I dont even like going anywhere with him sometimes, because he thinks every guy looks at me and wants me, its absolutely ridiculous! im not saying im terribly ugly but i am certainly not considered 'hot' these days lol
This is not a good scenario for a long term relationship. Isolating yourself that way because of his jealousies is a recipe for unhappiness.0 -
I agree with your husband. At least mine is that way. If a woman flirted with him thats all it took. 4 affairs later, i finally left him.Yes. Hubby has told me over and over that men do not want to be friends, they just want to sleep with women. I say, well maybe not ALL men? He says, yes. all men. I say - well, maybe men don't find all women attractive, and if they don't than they could be friends with them. He insists, no. even if they are not attractive, if given a chance, he will sleep with her.
I don't really know what to make of it.
unfortunately i kinda agree too.... seen the 'just friends' things too many times...0
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