Discrimination against skinny/fit women

MariaMariaM

I've always been on the thin side. After having 2 children and 2 sections I was lucky enough to be able to lose my pregnancy weight - but I was skinny fat. A few months ago I decided to get healthy and fit and I'm taking better care of my body - this has just increased the rude comments. "You don't need to exercise - you're already skinny" and "why do you eat salad for lunch?". OMG - people - its about being healthy and living a better life!!!

I get so sick of people accusing me of having an eating disorder or telling me to "eat a hamburger".

The "you're too skinny" or "you need to eat more" comments are just as annoying and hurtful as I'm sure the "larger" comments are to larger woman.

These are the type of comments I get. That I look too skinny and what is wrong with me? Nothing is wrong!! I eat healthy and workout. I don't stuff my face with crap and don't go on drinking binges. The end result is a fit and healthy woman.

boomboom011

ive been skinny and fat. the only person that has changed is me. everyone else stayed the same.
i dont recall anyone being ugly to me based on my size. however, when i was bigger I was not nice. i was a fat miserable jerk therefore i acted like one.
now that Im getting smaller Im a lot more pleasant dammit!

CoderGal

Bump.

Bahet

So not only are fat women lazy, have no will power, not sexy, and don't deserve to have an ounce of self esteem but now they're b*tches too??? And you actually wonder why they are rude to you???

I've been thin and I've been fat. Fat is way harder. When I was thin people saw the outside only. No one cared that I had a brain. I graduated top of my class and am a financial whiz. My first job was as a receptionist because they wanted the eye candy where the clients could see me. As a fat person people understand that I have a brain in here too. When I was thin or fat people were as nice to me as I was to them. If I looked askance at a fat person I got rudeness in return. If I told a skinny person they were too thin I got equal scorn. As a thin person I brushed the snide looks off as jealousy. As a fat person those exact same looks hurt because I know it's not jealousy.

MariaMariaM

So not only are fat women lazy, have no will power, not sexy, and don't deserve to have an ounce of self esteem but now they're b*tches too??? And you actually wonder why they are rude to you???

I've been thin and I've been fat. Fat is way harder. When I was thin people saw the outside only. No one cared that I had a brain. I graduated top of my class and am a financial whiz. My first job was as a receptionist because they wanted the eye candy where the clients could see me. As a fat person people understand that I have a brain in here too. When I was thin or fat people were as nice to me as I was to them. If I looked askance at a fat person I got rudeness in return. If I told a skinny person they were too thin I got equal scorn. As a thin person I brushed the snide looks off as jealousy. As a fat person those exact same looks hurt because I know it's not jealousy.

I am not sure what you consider fat. I considered myself fat @ 155. I went down to 127 and friends, who were not fat and were probably a few pounds lower, would say good for you for losing weight. At 127, I was OK but I still wanted to get firmer and more defined. The same people today look at me with pity/disdain and say you are looking too skinny, you need to eat something, blah, blah, blah. Today I am down to 117 and change. IMO, I look fit and pretty damned healthy based on my recent biometrics. I don't have an eating disorder, in fact, I probably eat more than most women I know. In my experience women were nicer when I was bigger than they are today.

Since I was able to lose weight the right way and keep it off, I do think people who complain about not being able to lose weight are not really making an effort. You can decide what to call that.

kedwardspcm

All really great feedback and I can relate with everything everyone has posted - except the hating everybody post LOL. When I was fat, I admired thinner women. I mean, obviously. I quite literally worked my butt off to be a thinner woman. I admit, I was jealous of the women who didn't have to work hard for their figures. Still am as a matter of fact. However, I never - nor could I - be rude or mean to someone because of their weight. I mean, the list of instances of discrimination goes on and on. Another example; I took a timed fitness test among dozens of other women, most of which I would consider to be my "gym friends". After the test was over, and having done very well, I overheard a group of the large" women whispering about how I cheated. I most certainly did not cheat. Was really bummed by that. At the end of the day, I shrug it off because how I feel, health wise, is all that matters to me. I just wish society would not put so much emphasis on the exterior...

cbh142

Women look for reasons to dislike other women. They will find something to not like about you no matter what your weight. Weight is an easy one though. I have worked with groups of women for a long time. It is primarily constant talking about eachother behind eachother's backs. Just for a disclaimer I have to say this doesn't apply to "all" women.

kedwardspcm

Amen sister. That is a fact

kurenaikumo

Until this past year, I've always lived near the "underweight" line, and even now, am just at the very peak of the "normal" range for my height. Personally I've never really had any problems like that, but I've always been rather tomboyish. I'm a jeans and t-shirt, low maintenance type chic. I'm also very short, and most women of any weight don't aspire to be mistaken for a middle school student from the back (true story, a hall monitor tried to "ticket" me at my daughter's school.......).

I have a saying I use pretty often- "Women love to hate on women". It comes from insecurity/jealousy. If anything, smile to yourself that you have something other women want. Not your problem that they're not actively working to make changes, or have let themselves go to that point. Who cares what anyone else has to say in the first place? Hater's gon' hate.

NeuroticVirgo

I'm *****y about thin women who don't have to work at it (skinny-fat). The girls who can eat an entire cheesecake and not gain any weight and still be a size 2. I know my attitude is because I'm jealous...but it doesn't make me want to run them over any less lol. One of my best friends in grade school and high school was like that, it always made life seem unfair. But I got over it.

CarbAvor

LOVE this post!

MariaMariaM

I agree with the non hating post. I have never been rude or jealous for that matter about other peoples appearance. I always admired those that took the time to take care of themselves and thought how lucky people with good genetics are.
Never understood the hating on other women. Only when I truly committed to get down and improve is that changes started happening for me. Maybe I understand it because I was fit(but nor as fit as I'm today) before I gain weight?

CoderGal

This is why I work with computers and spend my free time on motorcyles Outside of dance I stayed as far away from the women groups as possible. And I got to say, it's rediculous how those women treated themselves and eachother. And there were all different sizes and sauce from both sides.

I was treated horribly in highschool at 5'7 and 90 pounds. So many variations of your ugly and anorexic remarks and I ate more then everyone I knew. I'm 30 pounds over that now and can see how a person would think I need to eat more now as Im watching everything and on a diet site and I'm only eating my maintenance calories plus exercise calories and watching it all even though Im still considered slim. And this still seems to be a deficit for me as I'm still loosing weight. And I kind of understand people making comments and being concerned for me when I've never done these things before. What i don't understand are the people who say...you'd be pretty if your skin was a different color and your hair was different and you had a different face. It is beyond me why people would bring that up out of the blue.

And when I gained weight? Not a single comment was made even though I was eating a unhealthy amount of unhealthy food and didnt move and felt aweful.

Anyway thanks for making this post. Im just starting to notice the sly glares and things come back. It just hit me as to why.

Laura_Suzie

A person is jealous and petty regardless of what size they are. Skinny women have been rude to me AND large women have been rude to me. Perhaps they were jealous of me for some reason or another, or perhaps they just have sticks up their butts' and have miserable lives. Heck, I'm even guilty of it. I admit I roll my eyes when I hear a thin woman complain about how "fat" she is and when I see a morbidly obese woman who can barely walk I get disgusted. I'm human, however I don't let how judgmental I am affect how I treat them as people. I can't imagine what gives people the balls to say nasty things to others in public...

Meg_78

Having been underweight my whole life, just naturally skinny, I have had some horrible horrible things said to me, but all sorts of people, from strangers to job managers to medical staff) both as a highschooler right through to an adult woman. I am actively trying to gain right now, and it is not going on easy. the thing is I want to grainy healthy weight and muscle, not just fat, so eating 2000+ a day being at least slightly heath conscious can be a challenge. I was actually surprised but how mean people can be to skinny people on MFP, esp those trying to gain, like you are lying, you don't eat, or you have an ED. its a constant bombardment of "go eat a burger" jokes. I suppose there is the same meanness directed at fat people too in the real words (you are lazy, you eat too much, you don't "work at it enough" etc) I think the thing that I always found hurtful were those kinds of pics (like the one in this thread) that's say real women have curves, etc, etc, well, even after 2 baby's, I just never got curves, so what does that make me?? I would give anything for some curves and a bit of butt, I don't even have any freaking hips!

ElizabethRoad

She'd just assume run me over then let me cross. OR, if I am walking into a building behind an overweight woman, she'd just assume let the door hit me in the face than hold it.

I'm sorry, but I thought you should know. The phrase is "just as soon...as", not "just assume...then". "She'd just as soon run me over as let me cross."

Il_DaniD_lI

I think you are just experiencing some rude women (we all do) and for some reason you're associating their rudeness with theirs & your weight. I think the whole "fat women are rude to skinny women and skinny women are rude to fat women" is all in your head.

Some women are rude to other women. Period.

hedwighigh

When I was fat, guys only saw me as a friend but girls were typically always nice to me.

When I got thinner, guys became more attracted to me and most girls were still nice to me but my "bigger" friends tended to get more offended or would tell me different excuses about why they don't diet or exercise. I think it was because they thought that I thought they were fat since I wanted to improve myself when they were (are) bigger than me. I don't really know why they gave me excuses for not exercising or eating in a certain way cause I never asked and frankly didn't care since it was none of my business.

I think the underlining problem is women compare themselves to others rather than comparing themselves to themselves and competing against themselves. It doesn't help that the people I'm thinking about don't really get alot of attention from the men so I try not to discuss the attention I get sometimes. I just don't want them to feel bad ... but sometimes I can't do anything about that.

I have definitely had my share of jealous moments towards girls who are more toned and fit than me.

rml_16

I've been on the thin side my entire life and have never been treated rudely on a regular basis. I mean, obviously we have all been treated rudely at some point because that's life. But I haven't noticed an abundance of it.

kedwardspcm

I think you are just experiencing some rude women (we all do) and for some reason you're associating their rudeness with theirs & your weight. I think the whole "fat women are rude to skinny women and skinny women are rude to fat women" is all in your head.

Some women are rude to other women. Period.

I agree that women are rude to women, period. However, I am undeniably and emphatically confident that there is a trend that did not exist before I was at the weight I am now. You could just as easily say that "people are rude to people, period" - which would be a true statement - and that racism (which is very real) was in the head of those who are discriminated against. As I said in my initial post, I have had people flat out say "I hate you" or "You b***ch" in a discussion surrounding my weight loss. I am pretty sure it doesn't get any clearer than that, if all the other instances were, in fact, just coincidence.