Discrimination against skinny/fit women
Replies
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Now, ladies...sorry about the derailment here, please..lets allow this to go back to topic, I don't want your thread closed. My only reason for bringing it up was an example of how discrimination can exist without the person being descriminated against being a minority, or the person descriminating being 'mean'.
Actually, you very nicely brought it back around to the original topic. The fat against skinny or skinny against fat dynamic is one that some people would put in the category of "reverse discrimination", and I dislike that term. Either it's discrimination or it's not, and in my view, it is wrong whether the victim of discrimination is considered a minority or not, or whether it is socially acceptable to make fun of that group or not. The double standards certainly do exist (in the male/female dynamic as well as in the fat/skinny dynamic and many others). I was trying to point that out to the first middle class white man that made the comment implying that it was okay to make fun of skinny girls because they "have it easier" (a few posts up from mine), which wasn't you. But you illustrating indignation at the male/female “reverse discrimination” that I ignited, shows nicely why it’s just as wrong to make fun of skinny girls as it is to make fun of overweight girls, follow?0 -
Karma is a *****I've gotten a lot of negative comments. Hell, just last night was a great example. But screw it! As long as you're doing something for yourself and in a healthy way, who cares?0 -
If you're thin and eat something healthy, you eat like a rabbit and need a cheeseburger.
If you eat something considered "fattening," you're warned that it will catch up to you.
Although I actually loved being told that the donut I was eating at work a few years ago was going to catch up to me when I hit 30. Because I was 35 at the time. :laugh:
Haha...very true. I remember in high school, it was going to catch up with me in college. After college it was, "yeah, I was your size when I was that age, then I had kids". After I had kids people started to shut up, but now I'm hearing that it will catch up with me when I hit menopause- which may or may not be true.0 -
Now, ladies...sorry about the derailment here, please..lets allow this to go back to topic, I don't want your thread closed. My only reason for bringing it up was an example of how discrimination can exist without the person being descriminated against being a minority, or the person descriminating being 'mean'.
I would make the case that the skinny woman is a minority. I cannot go into walmart or kohls and find clothes that fit and the fact of the matter is, I know very few people in real life that are what would be described as skinny.0 -
I've gotten a lot of negative comments. Hell, just last night was a great example. But screw it! As long as you're doing something for yourself and in a healthy way, who cares?
That thread last night was absolutely disgusting and horrific! It's probably best that it was locked by the time I saw it because there were a few internet doctors and double-standard apologists in there that had me RAGING. By the way, you look fab and I'm glad that you're able to say screw what they say!
I'm actually unsurprised by what happened the other night. People can become fervent in their 'anti-ED' crusades, to the point where it becomes a witch hunt. However, I am surprised by some of the responses given by individuals in this thread. Although I realize that MFP users are likely to be more self-absorbed/vain than the general population (this is just a given - it's a site centered around physical fitness and improvement, much of which is appearance based), I'm astounded by the fact that some users have inferred that individuals who behave rudely toward them are doing so out of jealousy.
It's far more likely that someone who behaves rudely toward you is simply a rude person in general. As in, they would be mean to you no matter what you looked like.
I'm perplexed by people who believe that a stranger would hold the exact same aesthetic standards as themselves, and then be jealous of the fact that they (the stranger) conform less to that aesthetic ideal than the individual in question.0 -
bump0
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Agreed, second row is best0
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I deal with this on a daily basis. My MIL tells me everyday that I am getting too skinny ( I am 5'8" and 166) and she is always bashing on her skinny sisters or complete strangers.0
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I wasn't really noticed when I was heavier, so I don't know what's worse-- being invisible or being accused of having an eating disorder because I'm thin.
I have never had an eating disorder or looked remotely like I had one, but at my heaviest I definitely related to being invisible. Partly by choice, but it seems everyone else was a-ok co-signing my invisibility. Now I see fit women, (I'm not a fan of skinny for myself as it is terribly unrealistic and to me the word has a nasty connotation, anyhoo) and wonder what works for them that I may not be doing and could be. I definitely see a confidence in fit women that I have gotten a taste of over the past 8 months and I'm hooked. I just figure, if you want change you're the one who has to do it. Don't hate on folks who took their health into their hands and got it done - or are getting it done *shrugs*0 -
Having never been really thin or fit I cannot comment.
But you sound like are kind of confusing discrimination with criticism.
Discrimination is where you are deliberately excluded from social groups or organisations because of a physical characteristic. What you are experiencing is fat people being envious and teasing you about your weight. You are not being told you can't vote or be employed or get equal pay because of your weight. You aren't being sent to the back of the bus or anything.
I did experience a lot of discrimination when I was morbidly obese.
Discrimination = being denied jobs because of your weight (check)
Discrimination = having people say you're not welcome in their homes because of your weight (check)
Discrimination = having absolutely no friends in HS because of your weight (double check)
Discrimination = being ignored in clothes stores when trying things on (triple check)
And if you're wondering how I know those things weren't to do with my weight.
After I lost weight I started getting promotions at work. I started having people want to be my friend. It's a completely different feeling, the way people treat me now.
I dislike that people are hard on each other about their looks. Women AND men need to stop criticising each other so much and be more supportive. It isn't right that women criticise you about your weight and it's not right when it happens in reverse.0 -
Yep, I have had this happening recently. A lady at work who is much more overweight than I has been making comments about my clothes being too tight or innappropriate, etc. However, I am CONSTANTLY complimented by guests on my attire, both men and women, so I know that I'm not just being overly sensitive.
Also, when some people see how much I eat/how frequently they make comments as well. (Um, hello, how do you think I lost this weight??)
It's really hurtful and it's not fair bc I won't stoop to their level and make rude comments back.
I have found people that make comments like that or try to degrade others are just unhappy and they don't know how to deal with it0 -
It sounds like you are being just as judgmental as anyone you are complaining about. Congrats for "changing".0
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If you're thin and eat something healthy, you eat like a rabbit and need a cheeseburger.
If you eat something considered "fattening," you're warned that it will catch up to you.
Although I actually loved being told that the donut I was eating at work a few years ago was going to catch up to me when I hit 30. Because I was 35 at the time. :laugh:
this exactly including the being told it would catch up to me when I hit 30 and I am 35!! hehe0 -
How do you know they are discriminating against you because you're thin though? Did you ask them? A person being a horrible driver or a person being rude and not holding a door for you are hardly signs of discrimination because of your weight... Those people could be jerks to every one.0
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I can't wait to be discriminated against because I'm skinny...lol. Ask me if I'm smoking crack and I'll smile, say no I'm not and thank them for thinking so...:laugh:0
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as you can tell I never been a skinny/fit woman...or have I? anyway I can tell you what its like for me. The soul crushing the stares, the wispers, just the all around judgmental attitued. I am sorry op for what you through and skinny bashing and fat bashing needs to stop0
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How do you know they are discriminating against you because you're thin though? Did you ask them? A person being a horrible driver or a person being rude and not holding a door for you are hardly signs of discrimination because of your weight... Those people could be jerks to every one.
^^ this0 -
I think that society teaches us to judge women on their appearance. I try to be cognizant of this and watch my thoughts. There are people I think that are too thin. And other people I think look really fit. And other people that I think have great bodies. And people I think are attractive. And others I think are less so.
I rarely make comments about anyone's appearance in any way. Other than complimenting someone on their outfit/accessories/whatever. Occasionally I might comment to a friend, something like...that poor girl looks like she hates her shoes right now, if I see someone walking around looking like they wore their shoes for 1 too many hours. Or maybe something like "isn't she hot wearing those huge boots when it is 90 degrees outside." This is all part of the people watching.
I've never thought to myself "OMG I hate that girl she is so skinny." I also don't think skinny and fit are the same thing. They aren't. I am really impressed when I see a woman with visible muscle tone. For lots of reasons.
Maybe other people are different. I don't have any friends who call out other women's bodies. Who knows, I haven't ever been thin. I don't know if it is regional, paranoia or something else.
I actually have a lot more fun comparing notes on clothing fit with my friends. They all come in all shapes and sizes. And everyone still can't find clothes that fit!0 -
Your post makes it sound like all big women are just horrible to skinny. I've got to say....coming from both ends, I never had other women being mean to me for my weight. I was overweight, which yeah...highschool can suck when you are...but I've been underweight as well. Now at a healthy weight, I still have not seen any outright discrimination.. How can you say a woman driver is looking at you like she'd want to run you over JUST because your skinny and she isn't? How could you possibly know whats running through their minds?
Not trying to just be insulting, but what you said just sounded rather rude towards bigger women like they are all horrible..0 -
I totally agree with op. I've been both thin and obese and I was almost scared to be thin again. I finally got to the point where my health and happines outweighs what crap I am going to get from society for being thin.
Being overweight has been so easy because no one even seems to notice you most of the time. I blend in with about 75% of the population here.
I will never forget my mother thinking I was on drugs as a teenager because I was thinner than everyone else in the family. Scarred me for life
It is just weird to me that being slightly overweight or even plain fat is more acceptable than being skinny. People actually think that if you're a little on the thin side, you're unhealthy or have an eating disorder. They totally ignore all of the studies that have shown that calorie restriction is actually a healthy way to live and restricting calories leads to a longer life.
Oh well, I'm finally to the point where I'll be happy if someone says I need to "eat a cheeseburger"!0 -
I'll take the redhead in bottom left!
She's all yours. I'm claiming the brunette beside her, okay?0 -
Okay, so I have been fat and I have been thin, and/or fit. I have found that there are two types of discrimination. Discrimination from skinny people (mostly women) against fat women and the contrary - fat women against skinny women.
I will tell ya, I have a new appreciation for women who have looked good their entire life. Having been on both sides of the discrimination, I have found that skinny women are far more tolerant of overweight women then the other way around. These days, heaven forbid should I want to cross the road and a heavy set woman is driving my way. She'd just assume run me over then let me cross. OR, if I am walking into a building behind an overweight woman, she'd just assume let the door hit me in the face than hold it. Things like this keep happening and happening to me. Although, when I was fat, I had a small degree of this from skinny women, the contrary far out weighs those experiences. I have had women say, very seriously, "I hate you" or "You B*&^ch" because of my weight loss. Thoughts and experiences on the subject?
Women trying to run you over because you look good. I can't buy that, because at some point you would think they would just hit you and get it over with. I do agree with you that there is judgement from women against women. I too have been thin and heavy. My experience has been when I'm thin females including family feel it's okay to tell me I look sick or eat a piece of chicken.
I also don't get comments if I look nice. When I'm big it goes like this: a woman much smaller then me usually an associate says "omg my fat butt is huge I need to lose some weight" meanwhile they clearly see and know I am huge compared to them. It's a passive aggressive comment. I also get the omg you look great when I know I gained 5-10lbs but they have nothing else to say. I chalk it up to it's about them not me, maybe I'm sensitive, do I like what I see in the mirror if not I have to do something about it. Point blank period.0 -
the one on the stool! gets my vote0
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I used to weigh 282 pounds and iv got down to 166, with a large-build and at 5'10 i look okay, i do not look ill or like i have an ED or anything, my BMI and BF are in healthy ranges and my family all say how much healthier i look after losing all the weight. Ive started running and doing weights and carried on my healthy eating because my goal weight is 150.
some of my friends however have totally changed their attitudes towards me. Ive known some of these girls 7 or 8 years and have been best friends all that time. when i was morbidly obese, i never got any comments made about how i looked or my choices in food. HOWEVER, it is a totally different story now.
I am constantly told how horrible i look and that i look like im about to 'snap' which is ridiculous. my best friend in particular tells me how ill i look on a regular basis and criticises my food choices and exercise choices. she herself is quite overweight, she wears the same size clothes that i used to wear when i was 282, im not sure of her weight, i would never ask as it is a sensitive issue for some people.
i dont know why my friends think they now have the right to critisize my appearence and be judgemental of my food choices, when i was morbidly obese, they never did, they used to tell me they liked my dress/hair and things rather than put me down.
I would never dream of critizising their diets or appearence in the way they do with me, no matter how much/little they weighed so i dont understand why they do it to me.
surely they must realise i have problems with my body image, otherwise i wouldnt have put so much effort into losing all of this weight so why they think its a good idea to make horrid comments on my appearence, ill never know.0 -
Now, ladies...sorry about the derailment here, please..lets allow this to go back to topic, I don't want your thread closed. My only reason for bringing it up was an example of how discrimination can exist without the person being descriminated against being a minority, or the person descriminating being 'mean'.
Actually, you very nicely brought it back around to the original topic. The fat against skinny or skinny against fat dynamic is one that some people would put in the category of "reverse discrimination", and I dislike that term. Either it's discrimination or it's not, and in my view, it is wrong whether the victim of discrimination is considered a minority or not, or whether it is socially acceptable to make fun of that group or not. The double standards certainly do exist (in the male/female dynamic as well as in the fat/skinny dynamic and many others). I was trying to point that out to the first middle class white man that made the comment implying that it was okay to make fun of skinny girls because they "have it easier" (a few posts up from mine), which wasn't you. But you illustrating indignation at the male/female “reverse discrimination” that I ignited, shows nicely why it’s just as wrong to make fun of skinny girls as it is to make fun of overweight girls, follow?
I agree. I understood the tie...that's why I'd originally made the point about other forms of descrimination (and reverse...though I agree, it's a silly term) against people not normally associated with it being a good model. What I was apologizing for regarding derailment, was the fact that most of what I said involved other very controversial topics lol. I said them anyhow because they illustrate the point, but still.
Plus, anytime the word 'feminism' and my name are attached in one post...some women on these forums have made me feel like I'm going to wake up with a big red X on my front door lol.0 -
I used to weigh 282 pounds and iv got down to 166, with a large-build and at 5'10 i look okay, i do not look ill or like i have an ED or anything, my BMI and BF are in healthy ranges and my family all say how much healthier i look after losing all the weight. Ive started running and doing weights and carried on my healthy eating because my goal weight is 150.
some of my friends however have totally changed their attitudes towards me. Ive known some of these girls 7 or 8 years and have been best friends all that time. when i was morbidly obese, i never got any comments made about how i looked or my choices in food. HOWEVER, it is a totally different story now.
I am constantly told how horrible i look and that i look like im about to 'snap' which is ridiculous. my best friend in particular tells me how ill i look on a regular basis and criticises my food choices and exercise choices. she herself is quite overweight, she wears the same size clothes that i used to wear when i was 282, im not sure of her weight, i would never ask as it is a sensitive issue for some people.
i dont know why my friends think they now have the right to critisize my appearence and be judgemental of my food choices, when i was morbidly obese, they never did, they used to tell me they liked my dress/hair and things rather than put me down.
I would never dream of critizising their diets or appearence in the way they do with me, no matter how much/little they weighed so i dont understand why they do it to me.
surely they must realise i have problems with my body image, otherwise i wouldnt have put so much effort into losing all of this weight so why they think its a good idea to make horrid comments on my appearence, ill never know.
Get new friends0 -
I just ignore any comments like that cause I know they probably want my body. No I'm not cocky or whatever it's just that many women bash other women because they are jealous.0
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If you're thin and eat something healthy, you eat like a rabbit and need a cheeseburger.
If you eat something considered "fattening," you're warned that it will catch up to you.
Although I actually loved being told that the donut I was eating at work a few years ago was going to catch up to me when I hit 30. Because I was 35 at the time. :laugh:
I hope this happens to me one day. 0 -
Okay, so I have been fat and I have been thin, and/or fit. I have found that there are two types of discrimination. Discrimination from skinny people (mostly women) against fat women and the contrary - fat women against skinny women.
I will tell ya, I have a new appreciation for women who have looked good their entire life. Having been on both sides of the discrimination, I have found that skinny women are far more tolerant of overweight women then the other way around. These days, heaven forbid should I want to cross the road and a heavy set woman is driving my way. She'd just assume run me over then let me cross. OR, if I am walking into a building behind an overweight woman, she'd just assume let the door hit me in the face than hold it. Things like this keep happening and happening to me. Although, when I was fat, I had a small degree of this from skinny women, the contrary far out weighs those experiences. I have had women say, very seriously, "I hate you" or "You B*&^ch" because of my weight loss. Thoughts and experiences on the subject?0 -
Okay, so I have been fat and I have been thin, and/or fit. I have found that there are two types of discrimination. Discrimination from skinny people (mostly women) against fat women and the contrary - fat women against skinny women.
I will tell ya, I have a new appreciation for women who have looked good their entire life. Having been on both sides of the discrimination, I have found that skinny women are far more tolerant of overweight women then the other way around. These days, heaven forbid should I want to cross the road and a heavy set woman is driving my way. She'd just assume run me over then let me cross. OR, if I am walking into a building behind an overweight woman, she'd just assume let the door hit me in the face than hold it. Things like this keep happening and happening to me. Although, when I was fat, I had a small degree of this from skinny women, the contrary far out weighs those experiences. I have had women say, very seriously, "I hate you" or "You B*&^ch" because of my weight loss. Thoughts and experiences on the subject?
The phrase is "as soon". As in "She would as soon run me over". Maybe it was your brain they were trying to put out of its misery.0
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