Discrimination against skinny/fit women

longleggedgiraffe

I am not skinny but I was quite thin at one time...I just dont let what others say bother me either way...if they dont like how I look they can look the other way. Life is to short to be angry about what everyone thinks or says. all i know is i am living my life to the best of my ability and anyone doesnt like it they can kiss it! LoL

tamsinwhitfield

Sorry, but rude women are rude, and nice women are nice. Some of them are fat, and some of them are thin. I can't really appreciate these generalisations at all.

Admittedly, I'll judge a morbidly obese woman in the street (and I'd like to think this isn't visible on my face - more a "woman, sort it out" in my head). But I'll similarly judge an excessively (unhealthily) thin person to exactly the same degree. Admittedly, women can have a tendency to "critique" other women, but on myriad factors - this goes way beyond weight, and there is always something to criticise if you're willing to try hard enough.

And as an aside, as someone who has always been naturally skinny-fat (now attempting to be skinny-fit), there is nothing more universally annoying than the phrase "real women".

lady_carls

Okay, so I have been fat and I have been thin, and/or fit. I have found that there are two types of discrimination. Discrimination from skinny people (mostly women) against fat women and the contrary - fat women against skinny women.

I will tell ya, I have a new appreciation for women who have looked good their entire life. Having been on both sides of the discrimination, I have found that skinny women are far more tolerant of overweight women then the other way around. These days, heaven forbid should I want to cross the road and a heavy set woman is driving my way. She'd just assume run me over then let me cross. OR, if I am walking into a building behind an overweight woman, she'd just assume let the door hit me in the face than hold it. Things like this keep happening and happening to me. Although, when I was fat, I had a small degree of this from skinny women, the contrary far out weighs those experiences. I have had women say, very seriously, "I hate you" or "You B*&^ch" because of my weight loss. Thoughts and experiences on the subject?

I have most definilty experienced this. I have always been on the thin but curvy side, I have weight issues but they are ones that are mainly in my head bc I am so hard on myself, anyway I have had women on here bash me, make very nasty comments on forums or in messages towards me that were very uncalled for, I brought up the fact I was a dancer in a post I made & a very overweight women felt to need to say I am a "slut" "ugly" "nothing to be jealous over" "that I don't belong on here" etc... Its very hurtful, not everyone is on here with a large weight-loss goal, I just like to keep track of my intake for the most part. But I don't look at fat or thin or fit women any differently because I don't judge people based off appearance, I have had my feeling hurt so often for having a different appearance & people judging me based off looks. I couldn't make another person feel that way & wouldn't want too. A lot of it is also jealously I think & that is just wrong & pointless. Jealously is a useless emotion, If you don't like you CHANGE it. Don't take it out on someone who may look better.

Also in my line of work (part time- exotic dancer) Groups of women will come in (normally very overweight ones) & sit near the back of the club & point & laugh, make rude comments, pick our bodies apart etc.. I think that is so pathetic! To purposely go out on a friday night with a goal of putting others down because you have no confidence or self esteem. I always just wanna say "Okay that dancer may have a little cellulite/small boobs/bad boob job/bad hair/whatever it could be, nobody is perfect but how do you think people would act if you were on stage? oh wait you wouldn't get hired or be allowed on stage, even if you were you don't have the confidence to put yourself out their like we do!" UGH

Since I stopped comparing myself to other women and put my energies into making the best of myself instead I am so much happier. I can't believe the nasty comments I hear or read every day on Twitter/news websites about girls called "fake" or "sluts" or have their bodies searched for the slightest flaw, all out of jealousy! If somebody puts the work in to look good they should be congratulated. It seems to have become some sort of feminist crime to want to look attractive, as if you're letting the side down and bowing to male pressure to want to make the best of yourself! I have massive respect for anybody who works out and has a good body no matter what my own looks like. This is the best piece of advice I've heard in a while: "Jealously is a useless emotion, If you don't like you CHANGE it. Don't take it out on someone who may look better."

lady_carls

Sorry, but rude women are rude, and nice women are nice. Some of them are fat, and some of them are thin. I can't really appreciate these generalisations at all.

Admittedly, I'll judge a morbidly obese woman in the street (and I'd like to think this isn't visible on my face - more a "woman, sort it out" in my head). But I'll similarly judge an excessively (unhealthily) thin person to exactly the same degree. Admittedly, women can have a tendency to "critique" other women, but on myriad factors - this goes way beyond weight, and there is always something to criticise if you're willing to try hard enough.

And as an aside, as someone who has always been naturally skinny-fat (now attempting to be skinny-fit), there is nothing more universally annoying than the phrase "real women".

Agree with this too, all women are "real" regardless of how fat, thin or muscly they are! I hate this phrase so much.

rml_16

I'm sorry, but this is extremely rude. THIS is what the OP is talking about.
ALL women are WOMEN. Size million to size negative million.

Agreed.

And since when did Betty Boop look like that? The character was drawn as an exaggerated hourglass, which are the kind of curves I think of when I hear "curvy."

WhittRak

I have a HUGE appreciation for fit women. I myself being a woman have never spit venom about how good a woman looks. I am usually that chick who says "Wow she is hott, good for her!" And overweight women (which I happen to be) are just women in my eyes. I don't oh and ah over em. But I most certainly do not go out of my way to be nasty to either fit or flabby women.

Phoenix1401

I'm 268lbs and I have ZERO hate for the fit/skinny women but yet I have hate for the larger women who dont do ANYTHING for their weight! I mean I see 400lbs women eating whatever the *kitten* they want and they think their down right sexy! And...and.. They have BOYFRIENDS! Here I come I'm working on myself inside and out and people talk ****. You cant please no one these days except for yourself! People are going to talk about you no matter what! They talked about you when you first came to this earth and they will talk about you when you leave this earth....so what can you do????? Do you! And dont listen to the haters!

rml_16

I'm 268lbs and I have ZERO hate for the fit/skinny women but yet I have hate for the larger women who dont do ANYTHING for their weight! I mean I see 400lbs women eating whatever the *kitten* they want and they think their down right sexy! And...and.. They have BOYFRIENDS! Here I come I'm working on myself inside and out and people talk ****. You cant please no one these days except for yourself! People are going to talk about you no matter what! They talked about you when you first came to this earth and they will talk about you when you leave this earth....so what can you do????? Do you! And dont listen to the haters!

They have boyfriends because they have confidence and they love themselves.

Why do you hate them? How is what they do affecting you?

SPNLuver83

You're right.

callmeBAM

I bet the same thing happens when a "poor" person becomes wealthy. People inherently don't like those different from them. It may not be size, or social class, or color, or religion, but everyone has some intolerance for someone not like them.

LilynEdensmom

From my experience women are just evil....people really but I notice it alot more with women..Weight, size, parenting choices, if you do something different than what they agree with they become evil.

brendansmom1

I personally can see both sides...not that I have ever been "thin" persay, but on a journey and everyone knows it! LOL What bothers me is NOT that person is fit and or thin...it is their attitude about it.....they way they carry themselves or relate to others. I cannot STAND a person with a "holier than thou" attitude...fit or fat!!

We are all unique....and should be respected for that. Sure, we have all thought things to ourselves...especially (for me) when I see someone very unfit...I wonder if they try, etc....but I would never TREAT them any differently!!

Anyway, off my box. Carry on. LOL

rml_16

From my experience women are just evil....people really but I notice it alot more with women..Weight, size, parenting choices, if you do something different than what they agree with they become evil.

Way to generalize!

bella0522

It really does come from Jealousy. I know it from experiencing the jealousy. I too have been on both sides. As a teenager and in my early 20's I was 110 pounds soaking wet. Then my metabolism slowed and i started gaining. Once I had my two children I have stayed over 200 pounds. It sucks. I can't help but look and thinner more fit women and be insanely jealous, but I am in NO way rude enough to vocalize my thoughts. I recognize it for what it is and actually use it to drive myself harder in workouts. I'll feel like I just can't finish my Zumba class and I will look and the gorgeously thin girl next to me and think...I am going to look like that again, but I never will if i don't get through this!!! It pushes me. Yes I am the fat flabby girl but I have moved to the front of the class from the back and i stand where I can make sure the instructor sees me. that also drives me to keep going because I dont want them to see me quit. So yes I do think "skinny b***h" but I will not treat anyone badly unless they have done something to actually deserve it!

rml_16

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LorinaLynn

I never really noticed much difference in the way people treat me depending on my size, but after going through a bad time with bullying in my early teens (when I was very skinny, but I don't know if that has anything to do with it), nothing tends to bother me much. Not everyone is going to like me or be nice to me. I'm used to that.

BUT... when I was very thin, I did hear, "Don't you ever eat?" quite often. No one every said, "Don't you ever stop eating?" when I was chunkier.

I understand that people can be very rude to heavier people. I've seen it, heard it, stood up against it. But people were more apt to comment on my size and food when I was thinner than normal as opposed to a slightly above normal weight.

tryinghard71

I agree with this 100% too. It's all about how ignorant you are about other peoples struggles in life. Compassion is a powerful thing. Also when you are being judged by your looks the best thing you can do is kill them with kindness. It makes you feel good too.

FreeThotStrm

As someone who was a skinny *kitten* kid and teen, and a fat adult, and now slim again, I have definitely been on both sides of this. Honestly, I didn't feel too much of the hate from the overweight girls, I definitely participated in a bit of fat-bashing. Not sure if it was just from the fact that I was immature or conceited or what. I can say with certainty that when I was fat I HATED thin girls. It was a mixture of jealousy and projected self hatred. This has evaporated now that I'm healthy and happy with myself. Now I don't feel the need to drag other women down. I still judge certain people, even though I try not to, but I guess that's just because no one is perfect. I personally dislike it when women starve themselves or use unhealthy methods to stay thin or lose weight. In particular there's one girl in my mind that I know who only eats popcorn, yogurt, and lowfat fudgecicles, and recently passed out in church because she doesn't eat normally. I should probably worry and not judge, and DO worry as well, but I can't help but notice that she is just a vain and shallow person who is constantly in mirrors and taking photos of herself. I guess her vanity annoys me more than her "eating disorder". Oh and FYI, her mom (who she lives with) is a nurse and doesn't address the fact that she has thinspo all over her walls and notes that say things like "Don't eat" on her walls. SMDH. TANGENT! SORRY!

ArroganceInStep

Okay, so I have been fat and I have been thin, and/or fit. I have found that there are two types of discrimination. Discrimination from skinny people (mostly women) against fat women and the contrary - fat women against skinny women.

I will tell ya, I have a new appreciation for women who have looked good their entire life. Having been on both sides of the discrimination, I have found that skinny women are far more tolerant of overweight women then the other way around. These days, heaven forbid should I want to cross the road and a heavy set woman is driving my way. She'd just assume run me over then let me cross. OR, if I am walking into a building behind an overweight woman, she'd just assume let the door hit me in the face than hold it. Things like this keep happening and happening to me. Although, when I was fat, I had a small degree of this from skinny women, the contrary far out weighs those experiences. I have had women say, very seriously, "I hate you" or "You B*&^ch" because of my weight loss. Thoughts and experiences on the subject?

I'm not going to read this whole thread, but I think you mislabeled it. There's discrimination from women against women period. Haters don't need a scale to hate.

HorrorChix89

I'm sorry, but this is extremely rude. THIS is what the OP is talking about.
ALL women are WOMEN. Size million to size negative million.

This was posted on Facebook a month or so ago. I find it pretty funny seeing Betty Boo look like she hate the dog she's giving the bone to.

But it was a mock of how people always post "Real men like curves".