Teens + Drugs/Alcohol = Your advice?

stephc0711

This is what worked for me...
My mom has been a nurse for 26 years, and when I was a teen, my mom sat me down with her medical books and showed me the nastiest, most graphic pictures she could find. Told me if I wasn't smart, those pictures could be me. The pictures were of lungs full of cancer, genitals with STDs (yuck!!), livers with cirrhosis. All so gross. I wasn't the perfect teen, but knowing that if I wasn't smart about what I did, I'd end up like that worked for me. Granted, it was a bit harsh for some people, but that was/ is my mom's style. She's blunt, and a nurse.

TheDudette

I think you hit the nail on the head about talking openly. My parents were big on the whole sharing without judgement thing and very honest. They never expected me to be a saint, they were very realistic parents as well, but they did expect me to be mature about my decisions and take responsibility for my actions. Because of this I rarely did anything without weighing out the consequences, and if there wasn't one that I was prepared to deal with I didn't do it. I wasn't perfect either, I did my share of experimenting, but I was pretty old when I did and never took it to an inappropriate level. I plan on doing the same thing with my daughter.


P.S. My husbands parents never talked to him about anything, and when he tells me about some of the stuff he did when he was young it amazes me that he didn't get himself into a lot of trouble. He honestly looks back and says, "I didn't know any better!" Proof! Talking is key!

Rhea30

I wish the school had been honest with me

Ive tried loads of drugs and had zero problems along with all my mates.

ive never seen anyone harmed by illegal drugs.

So while the school filled are heads with rubbish about drugs they failed to warn us correctly about alcohol

I have seen mates commit suicide people stabbed killed chock to death raped die slowly in a hospital bed and its always a direct result of alcohol.

If the school was honest and said this is not good if you do it to much.

when you tell your kids be honest. if i knew the truth about weed id have never tried it

the drugs that will hurt you are alcohol and meth.

You may think you haven't seen people harm or think you guys have acted normal but there is a good chance it had effect you or your friends but you may not be aware of it. Seen many drug addicts who think they are okay while its clear as day to others that something is off and sadly have seen the downside to drugs and what they do to people from turning them into liars to overdose. I also consider weed dangerous since it screws with your judgement and motor skills. Weed itself may never had hurt someone but a person on weed behind a skillful task is dangerous since the skill is out of the window.

_CiaoParis

My parents NEVER told me anything. My dad only had the sex talk with me, but I was like 10. Me and my parents used to be very distant.

I used to smoke weed a lot, drink, and party (my parents found out about all of this during my pregnancy.) -> Until one day I got pregnant and stopped.
My dad had his first child in high school, but we never talked about it... like ever. Now he talks about it, but if he would have told me before then I would probably not have a baby.

It's nice that you and your kids talk about these things. I'm sure they'll make the right decisions, but teens will always be curious to try new things.

ajohn252

I'm only 19 with no experience with kids but I know the best thing
my mom told me was about contraception and how important it is.
You can't stop "it" from happening (I had my first time when I was 14), all
you can do is make sure its safe when it does happen.
I'd recommend just letting your kids know they can come to you about this, at least
that way you know they will be protected.

cabaray

My oldest will be 13 next month, so I know how you feel. I had great parents. They taught me right from wrong, they did everything they could do to keep me on the straight and narrow. That being said, I didn't want to. I drank and used drugs for many years. I suppose I would have been worse if my parents wouldn't have been so great, but really, if you're child decides to do it, they will find a way. I'm giving my daughter all the knowledge she needs to make wise decisions, but ultimately, she has to make the decisions. Arm them the best you can and be there should they make the wrong choices.

fittiephd

I'm 21.. my mom and dad always told me that if I wanted birth control to just ask them and they wouldn't judge. However, I always felt more uncomfortable asking my mom and asked my dad instead, we're closer. My mom was relatively strict about boys and going out and curfews, and it definitely made my lie more to go out, or about where I was. I also may have just lied because it was more fun and "dangerous" feeling. I think it really depends on your kid, for me, I knew the consequences of drugs and was brought up to think that smoking was bad for you. I also was really really driven in school (still am -- starting a phd this fall!!), so I never wanted to risk doing badly or getting in trouble and hurting my future. However, I did start drinking when I was 17, summer before senior year. I also started having sex when I was 17.5. We had multiple forms of birth control and had been waiting a long time to make sure we were ready, so I honestly have no regrets.

I experienced something similar to vmclach that I used to hang out with "worse" friends who were from my town instead of in my AP classes. I didn't always do what they did, I would drink but not smoke for example, but it gave me a sense of fun and a sense of "at least I know I'm better than this". In college I drank a fair amount, still do! Definitely binge drinking status. I don't regret any of it, it's been a blast. My dad used to let us kids have a drink or two at his house once we were about 16. But only at his house and only if we'd never be driving.

I think that's more important to mention, is not drinking and driving NO MATTER WHAT. That's what I was glad my parents emphasized. I think that with my kids I will just be very open and honest with them, and also I will probably start giving them a glass of wine or a beer earlier in life. I think it gives one a better perspective on how much they can handle without hurting themselves. Also makes it seem less appealing because it's "forbidden".

Promise I turned out fine

HelloSweetie4

I do agree with Fraser on the fact that schools don't teach you enough about it.

My parents were pretty open with me about sex, drinking, and mj. They never talked much about other drugs because they didn't know much about them either. I'm glad my parents were open about it and I stayed away from all of it as a teenager.

However, I think if the schools are going to teach you about illegal drugs they really do need to be more honest. They will tell you that you die the first time you try anything and that's not true. So adventurous kids go and try it and realize "hey I'm not dead it must all be a lie" and then they become addicts and eventually overdose. (I'm obviously not saying all teenagers do this, but that's usually the general story I hear from the addicts I work with)
I understand that the school need to teach this stuff because there are parents out there who don't talk to their children about it. But if they're going to teach it they need to be more truthful. No, you're probably not going to die the first time you try it, but it could make your life miserable and worthless. They don't talk enough about what people put themselves through when they're addicted. They don't show you what you can look like after uses meth or cocaine regularly. Or that you could live on the streets because you spent all the money you had on heroin.

Sorry, went off on a rant there. I see this stuff everyday and I always wish I knew more about it as a teen.

courtxoney

my parents never really talked to me about that stuff. they would casually bring it up in conversation but we never actually had a sit down and talked about stuff like that.

i played softball 24/7 through teen years so i never really had time to go out to drink and party. my parents were friends with most of my friends parents so whenever me and my friends hung out, it'd be a get together with their parents as well.

it might be the way i was raised or it could just be the type of person i am, but i never found the appeal of drinking and smoking in high school. i really don't now either - and i'm 21.