Disordered thoughts, beyond obsession?

gracefulotus

Though participants typically lost weight over the eight week diet, most regained a substantial amount of it over the next year and many reported feeling hungrier and more food obsessed than before the diet.

"That's because, according to the study, the participants' brains released hormones making them feel like they were starving. Their metabolisms also slowed and more of the food they ate was stored as fat."

From: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/25/why-diets-dont-work-long-term-cause-weight-gain_n_1452875.html

dovesgate

Here's a link for you to read:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/3047-700-calories-a-day-and-not-losing

gogojodee

I agree with the guy who said you are, in essence, eating your body alive by taking in less than you expend. If you don't have the energy to exercise, that should be the wake-up call that you are literally killing yourself slowly. I think you want to live since you reached out to us for feedback. I completely understand feeling fat and seeing nothing but fat in the mirror. I remember thinking the same things about myself 30 years ago when I weighed over 40 lbs less than I do now. That is a mental state, one that I would like to correct, so I can feel better about myself AS I AM! I hope you can shift your point of view to come to some semblance of self-acceptance, even love, so that you can take care of yourself. You are going to have to rescue yourself. I would offer you a hug, if it were possible to do that via internet, to try to show you what genuine acceptance feels like so you can do it for yourself. Not that I'm any expert at genuine self-acceptance, as I said before, but I do know how to accept love, support and compliments from others and that helps me not be so disgusted with myself. I recommend taking everyone's advice given so far. We are strangers and have nothing to gain by bull****ting you with false compliments.

Agreed. I know you don't want to hear it - but you need to eat more. That's why you aren't losing.

I'm having the same struggle about my calories because, I'm a picky eater, I have food allergies and a wheat intolerance so I try to cut wheat out as much as I can. And everything I do like isn't that great to begin with! How's that for a catch 22!

Try finding foods that you like and try finding new ways to prepare them/eat them. Eating better will help with the weight loss.

It is hard, but you reached out. You're alive, you're human, you're worth it. *hug*

ShrinkRapt451

I don't know if this will help at all: but an observation that I made while reading what you wrote, you said:

"I am a law student with really important exams starting next week, and I can't focus on studies, I can't focus on anything but food".
then three sentences later you say:
"I just wondered if this is anything to worry about, I'm not particularly worried myself, as I feel that it's a plan that's working".

To me if you can't think of anything but food, that's a plan that's not working. I hope you can figure out what you are looking for.

This. Please re-read the first paragraph or so of your original post. You're using words like "desperation" and "can't focus on anything but food." You know you have had an eating disorder in the past, and that you can't see yourself as anything but fat right now. You loathe the fat person, to the extent that it is actively interfering with the rest of your life.

Doctors may freak you out, my dear, but right now a good therapist would be a good idea. (Full disclosure: I'm a doctor.) Please stop slowly killing yourself. I've seen too many women whose bodies are in shambles right now, after a decade or so of disordered eating. Remember that your body is not YOU, but that you need your body and your brain to be working at their best so that you can fully enjoy your life. Right now -- and you've said it yourself -- they're not. Which means that what you're doing isn't working. Time to do something different that will work better. I agree that slowly bumping up your calories and losing the supplements are good first starts. But figuring out how to like and respect YOU, regardless of what your body looks like, will not magically happen even at your goal weight. That comes from within.

michaelsgirl1210

I have OCD, so if I'm not careful, I can get stuck in a loop of being obsessed with my calories and exercise. A major trigger is if I get deficient in B vitamins. Perhaps since your food intake is so low, a vitamin deficiency is making your more obsessive. Do you take a vitamin supplement? Sleep deprivation can also affect obsessive thoughts. I know everyone wants to talk about calories first, but I know from experience you have to help yourself mentally before physically, so if you can get the thoughts under control first, your calorie intake will be much easier to manage.

shakybabe

I you're using pills they are probably acting as an appetite supressant so you are never hungry. Try ditching the pills.

If you exercise that much your metabolism will improve anyway but not whilst your body is trying to slow it down cos its not getting enough fuel.


first ditch the pills, then try eating more fruit or salad or veg. These don't contain huge amounts of calories but will help increase your volume of food whilst you can still feel ok about it as there are so few calories in them.

Try something like a low carb diet, or clean eating - most cals will come from prepackaged ready meals and huge portions of fries or loads of bread etc. cutting them out means you can eat alot more of the good stuff, increase the volume of what you eat and stay within the amount of calories you need for your body.

once you get comfortable with having more on your plate then you can try adding a small portion of potato or something onto it so visually its the same amount (if remove some of the salad and veg) but a different food group.

You need to remember that whilst your only eating 600 and burning 700 your metabolism is getting slower and slower and the pills aren't doing anything other than putting extra strain on your heart muscle.

Fat Burners work better to give you energy to exercise but you need to be eating more to fuel it, they work better for people who eat too much and don't exercise enough and who often take them in place of exercise so they don't have to go jog around the block!

Try and get the focus back on your studies. I've just had a very busy hectic month and just relaised I haven't even thought about my weight once or been getting on the scales everyday. Even with the occasional choc bars I haven't gained (I just checked now) cos most of my diet is healthy and I've been exercising everyday even if its only on pedal exerciser whilst watching telly. Find some healthy snacks and get back to your studies.

CatherineElizabeth13

I will try to balance things out.
I have been recommended whey protein to have after workouts, just to stop my body damaging or burning away my muscles.
So I'm going to try that, and I will try to hit 1200 daily.
I don't like to eat my exercise calories back though, I never used to and it didn't seem to be a problem.
I haven't eaten as yet today, due to a massive lie in.. But I will try to make myself eat 1200.
My calorie intake always suffers because I'm pretty much lactose intolerant, and dairy usually carries the higher calorie content.
I will go and make some lunch now, my housemate is making sure I'm eating as she's worried sick.
So I have her there to tell me when I'm being unreasonable with the portions

miranda_mom

(yes, I have lied on my food diary here, the reality is a lot less)

I think this was the most concerning line in your post. Being honest in your diary will be the most helpful thing - you are only lying to yourself.

mfpcopine

Although low-calorie diets and medications work for some people, they work best when the people are under medical supervision. Sometimes they are in a hospital. I don't think you should be eating so little on your own and medicating yourself.

Who is "He"? A doctor? I'm not saying the person at the gym is wrong, but you should see a doctor and a psychologist or psychiatrist. See if you can get a referral to a registered dietitian who knows what s/he's talking about. Guidance needs to be tailored to the individual. 600 calories is almost certainly too low for an unmonitored person, but 2,000 may be too high.


I'm sure the stress of your exams is a major contributor. Maybe you'd even prefer to stress about the weight than the exams. Important exams take over your life (I speak as someone who's had to take exams in graduate school and to obtain a professional license, an exam that had a pretty high failure rate.). I suggest that you declare a moratorium on diet and exercise for the next two weeks. You can take a walk or stretch or dance to music if you want. Eat whatever you want and concentrate on your studies. Even if you were to eat the worst possible diet, a week or two won't make a difference in the long run.

Get through your exams, then work on your health.

Good luck.

bcampbell54

I like how we're talking about this like a math problem. This is not a weight loss issue.
Let's break it down:
You're afraid to eat. You are not seeing changes in your body which are documented by your weight loss. You had a "breakdown" with your trainer. You have asked a roomful of strangers if you have a mental illness, then counter their suggestions.
Certainly no harm can be done by seeking the advice of a mental health professional, unless you spend the money and then go argue with them.

Masterdo

I don't like to eat my exercise calories back though, I never used to and it didn't seem to be a problem.

Well, your weight loss did slow down, and that's exactly what not eating enough will do, so I'd say you have experienced first hand the problem that comes from that.

If calories in vs calories out was that simple, no metabolism involved, we would all just stop eating for a few weeks to lose weight. The truth is that's not the way to do it, obviously. I would start by eating more and giving yourself some time to assess your goals and plans. This will also give you some better quality time to study too, which is nice

Then find long terms activities that you like and want to sustain even at maintenance weight. Gym workouts are not appealing to everybody, maybe that's not the thing for you, but there is probably something you will like to do to stay active. Start doing that right after your exams, and never stop Then you can see eating as a way to fuel your daily activities and workouts, stuff that you like. That's a mindset that is much more likely to work and lead you to healthy thoughts and fitness, rather than an obsessive mindset, focused on weight and numbers

Good luck!

echoica

text book eating disorder. you need to see a doc asap!

AlsDonkBoxSquat

How tall are you?

I am 5'2
Short people just don't carry weight as nicely as taller people -.-

I'm 5'3" and I get upset by this misconception. It has nothing to do with height and everything to do with composition. I'm muscular and can therefore carry weight just fine at a nice size.
Please look the last posting in my blog the difference between an unhealthy and unfit size 6/8US and a healthy size 0/2US on me ends up being 1 pound (and I'm looking forward to make that a larger difference in the other direction as I futher embrace my capabilities): http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/allabtlm

I delt with ED's as a teenager. You say that it's your friends that call you obsessed, but what you are describing is an obsession (fear of the scale and refrigerator, fear of eating, always counting calories in and calories out, not being able to focus on anything else especially your schooling). What you're describing isn't a gateway into a healthy life but a gateway into a hospital bed. ED's are generally a symptom of an bigger mental or emotional issue (you feel powerless or out of control and need something to control so it ends up being this to an obsessive point). On top of a nutritionist you need a therapist.

You can be a certain weight and be unhealthy, or you can throw out the damn scale and stop obsessing about numbers, and claim a healthy life by finding an appopriate balance between food and exercise. I guarentee if you don't turn this thing around you're going to end up in a hospital or worse, and it sounds to be from your description of simply having difficulty standing it's going to happen sooner rather than later. Therapy to balance out your thought process would take you a long way.

CatherineElizabeth13

I'm not disagreeing with any of you, I'm not trying to justify the way I am approaching weight loss.
I am merely correct anything people say that I don't feel is true to myself.
like I said, I am trying to increase to 1200, and I will aim to do that every day.
I am aware that my history with bulimia makes my mind more susceptible to a relapse into an eating disorder.
I will speak to my GP, though the mental health service in this county is beyond useless.
I think I need to sort my head out

mfpcopine

How tall are you?

I am 5'2
Short people just don't carry weight as nicely as taller people -.-

I'm 5'3" and I get upset by this misconception. It has nothing to do with height and everything to do with composition.



It also depends on proportions, which are genetically determined. Some people with EDs are fixated on looking a way that is impossible for them, in the absence of cosmetic surgery, if then. I'm not going to say, Oh, why don't you just learn to accept yourself? It's very difficult for some people in this culture. That's why a therapist might help.

amymrls

You need to talk to a Dr.

honeysprinkles

I think it can be normal for it to take a while to see changes in our selves. I started at the same weight and I've lost 19lbs and I'm JUST beginning to notice. I think that part can be normal. The only thing that helped me see a difference was finally fitting into a smaller jeans size.

As for everything else, I think you know the answer Anytime something becomes so much of a focus that it interferes with other parts of your life (like school, work, relationships), that could be a sign that something's not right. And of course you know that 600 calories a day isn't healthy. Do you have the option to talk to a doctor about this?

ItsMeRebekah

I don't think I could physically eat 2000 calories o.O
I'm never hungry.
I will try to up it to 1200 though,
I don't want to relax too much, because if I stay at this weight any longer I will scream.
I will work on maintenance when I reach 125

dont have to eat more. ditch the FF and low cal stuff and eat full fat! its one simple way to eat more cals but not really more food if you dont feel like you are hungry

chachita7

It is something to be concerned about and I believe you need professional help to get a handle of the situation before it fully gets out of control. You have taken the first step in acknowledging what it is you are doing but you must seek help so it is a healthy change... eating 600 and burning 700 is not healthy and you could very well be setting yourself in a trend to becoming very unhealthy physically and mentally...

Take the time to educate yourself in healthy habits and healthy living... try to focus on the benefits of eating healthy and exercising instead of the narrow view of loosing weight...

MrsBentz

I am the exact same way... i have lost 32lbs. I was sitting at 150lbs for a good year... and i am now down to 118lbs... i don't feel like i see much of a difference unless i have the before and after pictures sitting right next to eachother and then i see the difference and then that's when i feel better about myself. I struggled with an eating disorder since i was 10 years old. I'm 22 now and it's still hard to fight temptations off. But i haven't done anything harmful to my body in going on 3 years. And the working out is what gets me through that. I hope you can overcome these bad thoughts and bad images you have about yourself cause you are a very pretty girl. It's hard now, but it will get better! Just remember why you started and don't give up. Remember... HEALTHY is sexy... not skinny!