Ladies: Three Day Rule?
Replies
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there is a male relationship coach that blogs online and offers free enews letters. i have been reading his stuff for several months now and i find it very eye opening. since he's a guy he approaches everything from a guys point of view, but he works FOR women!!!! he is a woman's dating coach!!!
he talks about this kind of stuff, and way more. it does help to see how the mind of a man works :-)0 -
Listen to your heart...the book of love has no rules...
I found a copy of that as a young lad.
No rules, but so many different positions...
Grasshopper, you are wise in the ways of the world...
True.
I need to found a cult or some such thing.
Any volunteers for High Priestess / Lead Handmaiden?!
...no, not you Rich. We both know it didn't work out well last time mate.
Alas, Kitties cannot be restricted to the confines of any sort of organized religion
Semi-organised?
Anarchistic Handmaiden in Chief...!0 -
In dating, does the three day rule apply or is it ok to call or text her sooner? Never gave it much thought but now I'm curious what you think.
If you feel like calling or texting, call or text - preferably a call. Hubs asked me for my number on a Saturday and called me the next day for a date. If it's the right person, there is no such thing as too soon to call/text, IMO. The three day rule is just another stupid dating "game" that people play.0 -
Rules are over rated. Especially that one. If you like her, let her know!0
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All that is meant to do is make it seem like you aren't desperate, which for *most* women is a turn off. If you can avoid coming off that way, calle whenever you want. I personally think waiting exactly three days and calling sounds just as desperate as calling 5 minutes later, since it's not like folks haven't heard of the rule by now.0
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Call whenever you want. Those rules are stupid.
I agree!! If you went on a date, got a number, etc... CALL HER!! She will think you aren't interested if you don't!0 -
Three days is too long. I would think the guy didn't have any interest if he waited that long. I would expect a call the next day if I thought things went well.0
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If you want to talk to someone, DO IT! Don't wait. If she likes talking to you, she wants you to call and will be more upset if you don't.0
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If she doesn't want you to call her for three days, or is freaked out by you calling the next day, then I'd say move on to the next girl. You shouldn't have to play games.0
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Call whenever you want. Those rules are stupid.
Completely agree
My dating days are long over with and since I'm probably as old as your Mom (but a COOL Mom), I'd say DO THIS!!
Call her, go ahead, what are you waiting for?? She'll love it.......0 -
\If you like her call her. I'd actually be pretty psyched if my date called me right after the date to say he had fun.
This is my strategy. Call when you want to call. I don't mentally count down three days until I expect to hear from a guy, quite frankly I think he's forgotten me by then. If you go out with someone and she's on your mind and you want to contact her sooner, do it.0 -
Oh hell no, I don't play those stupid games. I call when I feel like calling. And if a girl decides to wait 3 days to call me back I probably won't answer.0
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There's only one relationship rule, and that is be yourself from the beginning.
If you want to talk to her call her, if not don't. Nature will take its course.0 -
On our first date we left each other at 9pm and he text me 30 mins later to make sure I made it home ok, then we talked for an hour after that. I thought it was very sweet and let me know he was indeed into me. We have been together 3 years now. Good luck0
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The three day rule was originally created on the mistaken belief that leaving a girl hanging will make it seem like you're not desperate.
Now that everyone knows about the three day rule, it makes you seem desperate to not appear desperate, so you just look ... desperate.
Call when you want.0 -
^^^This. If you haven't called I awesome you are playing a game and write you off. I hate all the stupid rules. If you had a good time and like a girl let her know.
^^That. Most women I know would assume there was no interest and write a guy off if he didn't call for three days...unless he said he was going to be out of town or something.Call whenever you want. Those rules are stupid.0 -
RULES ARE STUPID!!
If you're playing by the rules, you're going to deal with another gameplayer or worse, the non-game player will NEXT you (like I would) because they think you're not interested in them and more interested in playing games.
My bf called me the next day.. he actually asked me out for our 2nd date DURING the 1st date. He's called everyday, came by almost everyday and broken whatever else rule is in the book. We both agreed to not play games and just like each other freely.0 -
Lol. All the girls saying the rules are stupid. Lol. Thats because they don't want to be played, they just want the real deal, which I can understand. If a woman likes you today, she'll also like you 3 days from now. If she doesn't, then she's not worth your time. That's part of the test. Also, the 3 days serves as a cooling off period. You can think about and evaluate the date rather than thinking with your d*ck.
The key though, which you probably did not do, is to be sure and set the expectations before the date ended. So somewhere in there you let her know that you have a busy week ahead and you'll be in touch in a few days, or something like that so she knows what's up. If you don't do that, because they're women, they'll get all pissy that you didn't call right away.
The rules are not hard and fast and written in stone. But, they do serve a purpose.
The 3 day rule (and by the way, there are different theories, anywhere from 3 days to 1 week) is there for a couple reasons. I would say that if you call before 24 hours, you will seems clingy and needy, like you don't have a life. Now, in some cases, that's ok, because maybe she is the same way. Lol
It's hard to figure out.
I think because you didn't set the expectation as to what the next step will be, you should wait 24 hours, then call. Just my opinion.
Two things about women:
1) always have a plan A and a plan B, on a date and lead, but in a nice way
2) always set the expectation for what will happen next (will you call her in a few days, will you call to set up a date, will you want to do something again next weekend?...just let her know. The relieves her stress if she doesnt hear back immediately. If you leave her hanging, she might think you're not into her, even if you totally are.
Women are cool if you tell them, "I'll call you on Thursday, when I have some time to relax. Is that ok?"
I don't think it's actually a game, as everyone calls it. It's more time management and just letting the other person know your intentions. Not so much a game.
I don't think the ladies would disagree with me.0 -
There are no rules! If a guy waited 3 days to call I'd think he wasn't really interested. And call, don't text!!!0
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What it boils down to is this... someone who is not needy, clingy or desperate doesn't need to try to not appear needy, clingy or desperate.
Someone confident and secure doesn't care how something might make them "appear."0 -
Lol. All the girls saying the rules are stupid. Lol. Thats because they don't want to be played, they just want the real deal, which I can understand. If a woman likes you today, she'll also like you 3 days from now. If she doesn't, then she's not worth your time. That's part of the test. Also, the 3 days serves as a cooling off period. You can think about and evaluate the date rather than thinking with your d*ck.
The key though, which you probably did not do, is to be sure and set the expectations before the date ended. So somewhere in there you let her know that you have a busy week ahead and you'll be in touch in a few days, or something like that so she knows what's up. If you don't do that, because they're women, they'll get all pissy that you didn't call right away.
The rules are not hard and fast and written in stone. But, they do serve a purpose.
The 3 day rule (and by the way, there are different theories, anywhere from 3 days to 1 week) is there for a couple reasons. I would say that if you call before 24 hours, you will seems clingy and needy, like you don't have a life. Now, in some cases, that's ok, because maybe she is the same way. Lol
It's hard to figure out.
I think because you didn't set the expectation as to what the next step will be, you should wait 24 hours, then call. Just my opinion.
Two things about women:
1) always have a plan A and a plan B, on a date and lead, but in a nice way
2) always set the expectation for what will happen next (will you call her in a few days, will you call to set up a date, will you want to do something again next weekend?...just let her know. The relieves her stress if she doesnt hear back immediately. If you leave her hanging, she might think you're not into her, even if you totally are.
Women are cool if you tell them, "I'll call you on Thursday, when I have some time to relax. Is that ok?"
I don't think it's actually a game, as everyone calls it. It's more time management and just letting the other person know your intentions. Not so much a game.
I don't think the ladies would disagree with me.
You are right - a woman will like a guy 3 days from now if she really likes him now. A woman doesn't want to be played and does like being well-informed. So, your advice is decent. However, I don't think alleging a busy week just to buy yourself a few days before you call her again is completely honest. It's still game-playing. It's just more subtle.
My hubby called me the next day and he did not come across needy, clingy or lacking a life. I certainly wasn't any of those things, either - I was a single mom, owned my own home, worked FT, involved in church, etc. It actually worked in his favor that he called the next day b/c I figured he would be a "typical guy" and wait 3 days to call. When he called right away, he got my attention.
So, I still say call when it feels right to call - not when society deems it acceptable to call.
JMHO0 -
What it boils down to is this... someone who is not needy, clingy or desperate doesn't need to try to not appear needy, clingy or desperate.
Someone confident and secure doesn't care how something might make them "appear."
Amen! Well said.
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If someone waits three days to call me, I've lost interest.
I don't have an attention span for that kind of neglect.
An immidiate "great date!" text has me hooked.0 -
What it boils down to is this... someone who is not needy, clingy or desperate doesn't need to try to not appear needy, clingy or desperate.
Someone confident and secure doesn't care how something might make them "appear."
Completely disagree. Everyone is different. Some people have emotions that are pretty even.... they don't get too high, they don't get too low. Some people have personalities that take them on wild swings.....weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
As someone who can easily get carried away by emotion, it's imperative that I take a moment to contemplate my actions sometimes, lest I act rashly. Maybe that makes me an insecure loser with no confidence. Or maybe it just makes me human... either way, I don't see anything wrong with putting a little consideration into how my actions might be perceived by others. In fact, I would label that as being "considerate".... YMMV.0 -
Lol. All the girls saying the rules are stupid. Lol. Thats because they don't want to be played, they just want the real deal, which I can understand. If a woman likes you today, she'll also like you 3 days from now. If she doesn't, then she's not worth your time. That's part of the test. Also, the 3 days serves as a cooling off period. You can think about and evaluate the date rather than thinking with your d*ck.
The key though, which you probably did not do, is to be sure and set the expectations before the date ended. So somewhere in there you let her know that you have a busy week ahead and you'll be in touch in a few days, or something like that so she knows what's up. If you don't do that, because they're women, they'll get all pissy that you didn't call right away.
The rules are not hard and fast and written in stone. But, they do serve a purpose.
The 3 day rule (and by the way, there are different theories, anywhere from 3 days to 1 week) is there for a couple reasons. I would say that if you call before 24 hours, you will seems clingy and needy, like you don't have a life. Now, in some cases, that's ok, because maybe she is the same way. Lol
It's hard to figure out.
I think because you didn't set the expectation as to what the next step will be, you should wait 24 hours, then call. Just my opinion.
Two things about women:
1) always have a plan A and a plan B, on a date and lead, but in a nice way
2) always set the expectation for what will happen next (will you call her in a few days, will you call to set up a date, will you want to do something again next weekend?...just let her know. The relieves her stress if she doesnt hear back immediately. If you leave her hanging, she might think you're not into her, even if you totally are.
Women are cool if you tell them, "I'll call you on Thursday, when I have some time to relax. Is that ok?"
I don't think it's actually a game, as everyone calls it. It's more time management and just letting the other person know your intentions. Not so much a game.
I don't think the ladies would disagree with me.
You are right - a woman will like a guy 3 days from now if she really likes him now. A woman doesn't want to be played and does like being well-informed. So, your advice is decent. However, I don't think alleging a busy week just to buy yourself a few days before you call her again is completely honest. It's still game-playing. It's just more subtle.
My hubby called me the next day and he did not come across needy, clingy or lacking a life. I certainly wasn't any of those things, either - I was a single mom, owned my own home, worked FT, involved in church, etc. It actually worked in his favor that he called the next day b/c I figured he would be a "typical guy" and wait 3 days to call. When he called right away, he got my attention.
So, I still say call when it feels right to call - not when society deems it acceptable to call.
JMHO
Maybe. I actually am super busy most of the time, so it's the truth. I just mean you don't want to seem like you just sit around watching tv all the time and really have nothing else going on in your life. And, if that is the case, besides it being sad, you need to disguise it. Lol.0 -
What it boils down to is this... someone who is not needy, clingy or desperate doesn't need to try to not appear needy, clingy or desperate.
Someone confident and secure doesn't care how something might make them "appear."
Completely disagree. Everyone is different. Some people have emotions that are pretty even.... they don't get too high, they don't get too low. Some people have personalities that take them on wild swings.....weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
As someone who can easily get carried away by emotion, it's imperative that I take a moment to contemplate my actions sometimes, lest I act rashly. Maybe that makes me an insecure loser with no confidence. Or maybe it just makes me human... either way, I don't see anything wrong with putting a little consideration into how my actions might be perceived by others. In fact, I would label that as being "considerate".... YMMV.
Yep, I'm the king of "let's drive to Vegas and get married". I am known to be pretty spur of the moment and jumping in all the way. So, for me and my personality, it's actually considerate for me to take a few days and regroup. Otherwise I might tell you I love you and want to move to Tuscany that evening. And, actually do it. Lol.0 -
What it boils down to is this... someone who is not needy, clingy or desperate doesn't need to try to not appear needy, clingy or desperate.
Someone confident and secure doesn't care how something might make them "appear."
Completely disagree. Everyone is different. Some people have emotions that are pretty even.... they don't get too high, they don't get too low. Some people have personalities that take them on wild swings.....weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
As someone who can easily get carried away by emotion, it's imperative that I take a moment to contemplate my actions sometimes, lest I act rashly. Maybe that makes me an insecure loser with no confidence. Or maybe it just makes me human... either way, I don't see anything wrong with putting a little consideration into how my actions might be perceived by others. In fact, I would label that as being "considerate".... YMMV.
Yep, I'm the king of "let's drive to Vegas and get married". I am known to be pretty spur of the moment and jumping in all the way. So, for me and my personality, it's actually considerate for me to take a few days and regroup. Otherwise I might tell you I love you and want to move to Tuscany that evening. And, actually do it. Lol.
Nice post. Want to be best friends?0 -
What it boils down to is this... someone who is not needy, clingy or desperate doesn't need to try to not appear needy, clingy or desperate.
Someone confident and secure doesn't care how something might make them "appear."
Completely disagree. Everyone is different. Some people have emotions that are pretty even.... they don't get too high, they don't get too low. Some people have personalities that take them on wild swings.....weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
As someone who can easily get carried away by emotion, it's imperative that I take a moment to contemplate my actions sometimes, lest I act rashly. Maybe that makes me an insecure loser with no confidence. Or maybe it just makes me human... either way, I don't see anything wrong with putting a little consideration into how my actions might be perceived by others. In fact, I would label that as being "considerate".... YMMV.
Good stuff.
You're cute.0 -
What it boils down to is this... someone who is not needy, clingy or desperate doesn't need to try to not appear needy, clingy or desperate.
Someone confident and secure doesn't care how something might make them "appear."
Completely disagree. Everyone is different. Some people have emotions that are pretty even.... they don't get too high, they don't get too low. Some people have personalities that take them on wild swings.....weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
As someone who can easily get carried away by emotion, it's imperative that I take a moment to contemplate my actions sometimes, lest I act rashly. Maybe that makes me an insecure loser with no confidence. Or maybe it just makes me human... either way, I don't see anything wrong with putting a little consideration into how my actions might be perceived by others. In fact, I would label that as being "considerate".... YMMV.
Yep, I'm the king of "let's drive to Vegas and get married". I am known to be pretty spur of the moment and jumping in all the way. So, for me and my personality, it's actually considerate for me to take a few days and regroup. Otherwise I might tell you I love you and want to move to Tuscany that evening. And, actually do it. Lol.
Nice post. Want to be best friends?
Ok, but I'm not marrying you.0 -
What it boils down to is this... someone who is not needy, clingy or desperate doesn't need to try to not appear needy, clingy or desperate.
Someone confident and secure doesn't care how something might make them "appear."
Completely disagree. Everyone is different. Some people have emotions that are pretty even.... they don't get too high, they don't get too low. Some people have personalities that take them on wild swings.....weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
As someone who can easily get carried away by emotion, it's imperative that I take a moment to contemplate my actions sometimes, lest I act rashly. Maybe that makes me an insecure loser with no confidence. Or maybe it just makes me human... either way, I don't see anything wrong with putting a little consideration into how my actions might be perceived by others. In fact, I would label that as being "considerate".... YMMV.
Yep, I'm the king of "let's drive to Vegas and get married". I am known to be pretty spur of the moment and jumping in all the way. So, for me and my personality, it's actually considerate for me to take a few days and regroup. Otherwise I might tell you I love you and want to move to Tuscany that evening. And, actually do it. Lol.
Nice post. Want to be best friends?
Ok, but I'm not marrying you.
:drinker:0
This discussion has been closed.
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