Breaking the "Fat Girl" Mentality

75Juniper

I'm always amazed when people I know who have lost a lot of weight tell me that they still feel like a fat girl, even though it's been a few years for many of them. Basically, their mind doesn't "recognize" what their body now looks like and they still think they are fat (but not in an eating disordered way). I always assumed that when I got to my goal weight I would feel slim, strong, and fit, but now I'm wondering if getting to goal just brings a new set of challenges.

Have any of you who have lost significant weight still felt fat? If you did but conquered it, how did you do it?

75Juniper

Bump

nomorewishing

I was thinking about that the other day, I'm curious to know too.

superdonna

I am weirdly the other way. My mind has not accepted that I am morbidly obese. I refuse to be deeply affected, but it does bother me. I just feel like it will change and I will look the way I want again. I have been doing well this year but have lost 79 pounds previously, then sabotaged it. I recognise that now and I will be successful.

thatgirlamy

I'm always amazed when people I know who have lost a lot of weight tell me that they still feel like a fat girl, even though it's been a few years for many of them. Basically, their mind doesn't "recognize" what their body now looks like and they still think they are fat (but not in an eating disordered way). I always assumed that when I got to my goal weight I would feel slim, strong, and fit, but now I'm wondering if getting to goal just brings a new set of challenges.

Have any of you who have lost significant weight still felt fat? If you did but conquered it, how did you do it?

mine wasn't "significant" on some peoples standards, but I lost 50 lbs while my husband was deployed, and dropped all the way down to my goal weight of 135....I still felt fat, still felt like I didnt fit in clothes right, and so on. I have since gained 25 lbs back but I believe that all of it (gaining it back, not feeling happy with it, etc) was because I didn't do it healthily...I pretty much didn't eat while my husband was gone, so for almost a year I'd have coffee, maybe a bowl of cereal, and thats about it...every day....occasionally id have fast food which didn't help my case either lol....so I pretty much deserved to regain it all.

I think this time around, since I'm working out and eating pretty healthy that I will feel better when I reach my goal.

karylee44

i am down nearly 40 but still am very ashamed of my body and feel fat. i hope when i reach my goal weight.. that i will feel better about myself.

kayla7303

I have lost 38# so far and have 22#-34# left to lose. I still end up in the plus sized section. I still go straight to my old sizes even though they are huge on me.

EchoOfYourPast

I know where you guys are coming from....i come from a family of small (both short and thin).....even when i was 95-100 lbs...i was heavier than my sister (who was always 4 inches taller and looked very much slimmer).....then my sis in law is short and has always been very thin.....at 95-100 lbs i felt like the "fat girl".......all of my family has joked about me being the chubby one....my brother (jokingly) would sing that song when he passed me "baby got back" ...and over the past 10 years i have put on weight ...30 more pounds now ...at my very largest...and my sis and sis in law are still thin as a rail.....if the eating jokes come in ....my name is thrown in there somewhere.... I really need to try harder to get these 30 lbs off!

beanerific518

I've lost over 90 pounds and still have about 15-20 pounds left to go to get to my goal weight (I am aiming more for body fat percentage than weight). Its taken since last January to get to this point, so its given me time to let my mind adjust to my new image. When I look at clothes in a store, for example, I always think "thats too small!" and then I try it on and it fits! It will take some time to adjust to this new outward appearance. However, I feel incredible now - strong, flexible, athletic!

The thing I've learned is to love the process more than the result. Eating clean and healthy is a preferred habit. Exercise is fun and exciting! I figure if I can turn my life around, ANYONE can! You CAN do this

hali1

I think that's pretty common for almost all of us, to some degree.

For me, that lack of a realistic body image has worked both ways. When I was at my heaviest about 12 years back, I had no idea just how big I was and thought I still looked pretty good - until I saw the videos from my wedding.

Now that I'm probably in the best shape of my adult life, I look in the mirror and I immediately notice all the spots that still jiggle. BUT I am starting to be able to move past that and pay more attention to the parts that are looking better and better. I think what's helped me the most this time around is that I've been working out as much as possible. So maybe my arms still don't look exactly like I want (yet), but when my shoulders and chest are sore from the pushups I did the day before, I still feel pretty good about getting healthier and stronger despite what my reflection tells me. My thighs may never be model-skinny, but I frankly don't care - they need to be muscle-bound so I can kick harder! Shifting that focus from "skinny" to "fit" is definitely helping my mindset in how I see my body.

lc52820

I am weirdly the other way. My mind has not accepted that I am morbidly obese. I refuse to be deeply affected, but it does bother me. I just feel like it will change and I will look the way I want again. I have been doing well this year but have lost 79 pounds previously, then sabotaged it. I recognise that now and I will be successful.

I can relate to that. For the longest time I was pretty much oblivious to my gradual weight gain because I felt good about myself and being healthy just wasn't a priority for me. It wasn't until I had to take a health screening to sign up for my insurance that I realized how unhealthy I was & how bad my habits were.

JBennis1013

My Co-workers and I were just having this conversation the other day. I always feel that no matter how much weight I lose I will have that fat girl mentality. Maybe when I get to my goal weight I wont, but I think I will

gogojodee

I am weirdly the other way. My mind has not accepted that I am morbidly obese. I refuse to be deeply affected, but it does bother me. I just feel like it will change and I will look the way I want again. I have been doing well this year but have lost 79 pounds previously, then sabotaged it. I recognise that now and I will be successful.

I can relate to that. For the longest time I was pretty much oblivious to my gradual weight gain because I felt good about myself and being healthy just wasn't a priority for me. It wasn't until I had to take a health screening to sign up for my insurance that I realized how unhealthy I was & how bad my habits were.

Same here. When I finally had the guts to weigh myself in early Feb and found out I fell into the obese category - couldn't believe it. And here I am 160 STILL at my all time high and I still can't believe it. I've gone down then up so many times, (ok, maybe a handful) but still it's really hard for me to accept and I have a feeling once I get to my UGW, I'll still have the same problem because I'll still feel I need to lose weight. Or at least that's how I feel, I would feel.

CannibalisticVegetarian

I am definitely struggling with that as we speak. Sure, I feel good that I've gotten a significant amount of the weight off, but whenever I look in the mirror, I constantly see those trouble spots that jiggle and shake.. and then I immediately start to feel like I am at y heaviest all over again. It sounds stupid now that I say it aloud, but I always have people telling me how different and amazing I look.. but I've just his this mental barrier that every so often goes, 'You don't look so different to me!'. As far as conquering this... well.. I guess standing in the mirror and just playing 'spot the difference' with a picture of me at my starting point and the current is the only method that crosses my mind so far.

Also I've noticed people talking about the opposite effect. I was this way at first. I'd gained about 30 pounds in one semester in college and was so totally oblivious to these changes. I'd always been in the 200's as far as I could recall, so never did it cross my mind that I was ballooning even further.. that is until the scale at the doc's office told me otherwise. That's was when I found out that I'd sloped farther into the morbidly obese category ( I think that was about right).

TheMissingSock

I know that I look better than I did, but I can't wrap my head around how much better I look.

I see myself naked, I know how much further I have to go.

Lobster1987

I've lost about 140 and I still have the fat girl mentality somedays. Like I don't feel like I am deserving of respect and hang out with people who treat me like crap.

On the other hand, when I was fat, I didn't really realize how big I actually was, and always found ways to deny it or hid it with hoodies.

I still surprise myself now when I walk past a window and it's really amazing to see the skinny chick looking back, but I still (a lot of days) feel worthless and fat. It's been hard for my brain to catch up with the weight loss.

I'm working on fat mentality thing in counseling because I am awesome and I deserve to be loved, respected, and treated like a queen.

Amy911Gray

The answer is yes...still feel 245 even though I'm at 85 pounds away from that with only 30 more to go. Then something will happen...the scales stick or go up, and I think "here I go back to the way I was". But really that's not happening...and here's why...

I'm wearing a 10 now instead of a 24. I just bought them last Saturday and they were snug...but this week, I've noticed that they are loose in the thighs and they aren't snug at the waist. So, even though the scales may go up a couple of notches, I'm still losing and I'm still hitting my mark.

Exercising and attention to diet...it's working and I'm changing and I'm paying this work forward to anyone who wants to listen. I'm so proud of me and so proud of all of my friends on MFP and in real life. We rock...we are determined...and we will make it...

But sometimes, there's always that mentality that creeps in...but it doesn't stay long anymore!!!!!

amsparky

Yup. It's been the toughest thing I've been facing lately - the mental part. I saw a pic of myself last week and it was weird to see myself normal sized.

amsparky

I know that I look better than I did, but I can't wrap my head around how much better I look.

I see myself naked, I know how much further I have to go.

I SO agree with this!! I'm the same way!

diana776

Feeling exactly the same way, a lot of people have told me that ive lost weight in fact 24 pounds so far , it has been a looong journey but i can tell you its really hard to see yourself with different eyes.. Ive decided that im NEVER ever coming back as my original weight i didnt feel comfortable or pretty... but now im feeling better even though as i said before it hard its just a process and keep yourself motivated until you reach your personal goal...

DeMarraDontStop

I have lost 38# so far and have 22#-34# left to lose. I still end up in the plus sized section. I still go straight to my old sizes even though they are huge on me.

I still go to plus size as well knowing damn well.a 1x is too big. I have always dressed big trying to hide myself and I still do.... Hope this mentality will get lost as I lose more weight.