Breaking the "Fat Girl" Mentality

75Juniper

I'm always amazed when people I know who have lost a lot of weight tell me that they still feel like a fat girl, even though it's been a few years for many of them. Basically, their mind doesn't "recognize" what their body now looks like and they still think they are fat (but not in an eating disordered way). I always assumed that when I got to my goal weight I would feel slim, strong, and fit, but now I'm wondering if getting to goal just brings a new set of challenges.

Have any of you who have lost significant weight still felt fat? If you did but conquered it, how did you do it?

75Juniper

Bump

nomorewishing

I was thinking about that the other day, I'm curious to know too.

superdonna

I am weirdly the other way. My mind has not accepted that I am morbidly obese. I refuse to be deeply affected, but it does bother me. I just feel like it will change and I will look the way I want again. I have been doing well this year but have lost 79 pounds previously, then sabotaged it. I recognise that now and I will be successful.

thatgirlamy

I'm always amazed when people I know who have lost a lot of weight tell me that they still feel like a fat girl, even though it's been a few years for many of them. Basically, their mind doesn't "recognize" what their body now looks like and they still think they are fat (but not in an eating disordered way). I always assumed that when I got to my goal weight I would feel slim, strong, and fit, but now I'm wondering if getting to goal just brings a new set of challenges.

Have any of you who have lost significant weight still felt fat? If you did but conquered it, how did you do it?

mine wasn't "significant" on some peoples standards, but I lost 50 lbs while my husband was deployed, and dropped all the way down to my goal weight of 135....I still felt fat, still felt like I didnt fit in clothes right, and so on. I have since gained 25 lbs back but I believe that all of it (gaining it back, not feeling happy with it, etc) was because I didn't do it healthily...I pretty much didn't eat while my husband was gone, so for almost a year I'd have coffee, maybe a bowl of cereal, and thats about it...every day....occasionally id have fast food which didn't help my case either lol....so I pretty much deserved to regain it all.

I think this time around, since I'm working out and eating pretty healthy that I will feel better when I reach my goal.

karylee44

i am down nearly 40 but still am very ashamed of my body and feel fat. i hope when i reach my goal weight.. that i will feel better about myself.

kayla7303

I have lost 38# so far and have 22#-34# left to lose. I still end up in the plus sized section. I still go straight to my old sizes even though they are huge on me.

EchoOfYourPast

I know where you guys are coming from....i come from a family of small (both short and thin).....even when i was 95-100 lbs...i was heavier than my sister (who was always 4 inches taller and looked very much slimmer).....then my sis in law is short and has always been very thin.....at 95-100 lbs i felt like the "fat girl".......all of my family has joked about me being the chubby one....my brother (jokingly) would sing that song when he passed me "baby got back" ...and over the past 10 years i have put on weight ...30 more pounds now ...at my very largest...and my sis and sis in law are still thin as a rail.....if the eating jokes come in ....my name is thrown in there somewhere.... I really need to try harder to get these 30 lbs off!

beanerific518

I've lost over 90 pounds and still have about 15-20 pounds left to go to get to my goal weight (I am aiming more for body fat percentage than weight). Its taken since last January to get to this point, so its given me time to let my mind adjust to my new image. When I look at clothes in a store, for example, I always think "thats too small!" and then I try it on and it fits! It will take some time to adjust to this new outward appearance. However, I feel incredible now - strong, flexible, athletic!

The thing I've learned is to love the process more than the result. Eating clean and healthy is a preferred habit. Exercise is fun and exciting! I figure if I can turn my life around, ANYONE can! You CAN do this

hali1

I think that's pretty common for almost all of us, to some degree.

For me, that lack of a realistic body image has worked both ways. When I was at my heaviest about 12 years back, I had no idea just how big I was and thought I still looked pretty good - until I saw the videos from my wedding.

Now that I'm probably in the best shape of my adult life, I look in the mirror and I immediately notice all the spots that still jiggle. BUT I am starting to be able to move past that and pay more attention to the parts that are looking better and better. I think what's helped me the most this time around is that I've been working out as much as possible. So maybe my arms still don't look exactly like I want (yet), but when my shoulders and chest are sore from the pushups I did the day before, I still feel pretty good about getting healthier and stronger despite what my reflection tells me. My thighs may never be model-skinny, but I frankly don't care - they need to be muscle-bound so I can kick harder! Shifting that focus from "skinny" to "fit" is definitely helping my mindset in how I see my body.

lc52820

I am weirdly the other way. My mind has not accepted that I am morbidly obese. I refuse to be deeply affected, but it does bother me. I just feel like it will change and I will look the way I want again. I have been doing well this year but have lost 79 pounds previously, then sabotaged it. I recognise that now and I will be successful.

I can relate to that. For the longest time I was pretty much oblivious to my gradual weight gain because I felt good about myself and being healthy just wasn't a priority for me. It wasn't until I had to take a health screening to sign up for my insurance that I realized how unhealthy I was & how bad my habits were.

JBennis1013

My Co-workers and I were just having this conversation the other day. I always feel that no matter how much weight I lose I will have that fat girl mentality. Maybe when I get to my goal weight I wont, but I think I will

gogojodee

I am weirdly the other way. My mind has not accepted that I am morbidly obese. I refuse to be deeply affected, but it does bother me. I just feel like it will change and I will look the way I want again. I have been doing well this year but have lost 79 pounds previously, then sabotaged it. I recognise that now and I will be successful.

I can relate to that. For the longest time I was pretty much oblivious to my gradual weight gain because I felt good about myself and being healthy just wasn't a priority for me. It wasn't until I had to take a health screening to sign up for my insurance that I realized how unhealthy I was & how bad my habits were.

Same here. When I finally had the guts to weigh myself in early Feb and found out I fell into the obese category - couldn't believe it. And here I am 160 STILL at my all time high and I still can't believe it. I've gone down then up so many times, (ok, maybe a handful) but still it's really hard for me to accept and I have a feeling once I get to my UGW, I'll still have the same problem because I'll still feel I need to lose weight. Or at least that's how I feel, I would feel.

CannibalisticVegetarian

I am definitely struggling with that as we speak. Sure, I feel good that I've gotten a significant amount of the weight off, but whenever I look in the mirror, I constantly see those trouble spots that jiggle and shake.. and then I immediately start to feel like I am at y heaviest all over again. It sounds stupid now that I say it aloud, but I always have people telling me how different and amazing I look.. but I've just his this mental barrier that every so often goes, 'You don't look so different to me!'. As far as conquering this... well.. I guess standing in the mirror and just playing 'spot the difference' with a picture of me at my starting point and the current is the only method that crosses my mind so far.

Also I've noticed people talking about the opposite effect. I was this way at first. I'd gained about 30 pounds in one semester in college and was so totally oblivious to these changes. I'd always been in the 200's as far as I could recall, so never did it cross my mind that I was ballooning even further.. that is until the scale at the doc's office told me otherwise. That's was when I found out that I'd sloped farther into the morbidly obese category ( I think that was about right).

TheMissingSock

I know that I look better than I did, but I can't wrap my head around how much better I look.

I see myself naked, I know how much further I have to go.

Lobster1987

I've lost about 140 and I still have the fat girl mentality somedays. Like I don't feel like I am deserving of respect and hang out with people who treat me like crap.

On the other hand, when I was fat, I didn't really realize how big I actually was, and always found ways to deny it or hid it with hoodies.

I still surprise myself now when I walk past a window and it's really amazing to see the skinny chick looking back, but I still (a lot of days) feel worthless and fat. It's been hard for my brain to catch up with the weight loss.

I'm working on fat mentality thing in counseling because I am awesome and I deserve to be loved, respected, and treated like a queen.

Amy911Gray

The answer is yes...still feel 245 even though I'm at 85 pounds away from that with only 30 more to go. Then something will happen...the scales stick or go up, and I think "here I go back to the way I was". But really that's not happening...and here's why...

I'm wearing a 10 now instead of a 24. I just bought them last Saturday and they were snug...but this week, I've noticed that they are loose in the thighs and they aren't snug at the waist. So, even though the scales may go up a couple of notches, I'm still losing and I'm still hitting my mark.

Exercising and attention to diet...it's working and I'm changing and I'm paying this work forward to anyone who wants to listen. I'm so proud of me and so proud of all of my friends on MFP and in real life. We rock...we are determined...and we will make it...

But sometimes, there's always that mentality that creeps in...but it doesn't stay long anymore!!!!!

amsparky

Yup. It's been the toughest thing I've been facing lately - the mental part. I saw a pic of myself last week and it was weird to see myself normal sized.

amsparky

I know that I look better than I did, but I can't wrap my head around how much better I look.

I see myself naked, I know how much further I have to go.

I SO agree with this!! I'm the same way!

diana776

Feeling exactly the same way, a lot of people have told me that ive lost weight in fact 24 pounds so far , it has been a looong journey but i can tell you its really hard to see yourself with different eyes.. Ive decided that im NEVER ever coming back as my original weight i didnt feel comfortable or pretty... but now im feeling better even though as i said before it hard its just a process and keep yourself motivated until you reach your personal goal...

DeMarraDontStop

I have lost 38# so far and have 22#-34# left to lose. I still end up in the plus sized section. I still go straight to my old sizes even though they are huge on me.

I still go to plus size as well knowing damn well.a 1x is too big. I have always dressed big trying to hide myself and I still do.... Hope this mentality will get lost as I lose more weight.

LadySteele54

I am in this same boat! i started at 230+ lbs and am currently down 63 lbs and i am constantly in stores looking at clothes that i know realistically i fit now but still thinking "wouldnt it be nice??" till a remind myself im in that size now. granted i still have 58lbs to lose and i know i am at a weight i havent seen in a long long time like since highschool but in my mind im still that fat girl i have a very hard tim seeing any change and still feel huge. I was wondering if i was alone for a while now!

Firephoenix013

I am worried I will always have that "fat" girl mentality. I'm kinda odd tough. A part of me doesn't realize that I'm fat until I look in the mirror or I try on clothes or if someone calls me a name etc. At that point is when it comes back full force and it's like oh...yeah. So I don't know. I'm afraid when I look in the mirror I won't see my skinny self, but we'll see. I'm not there yet.

LadySteele54

I have lost 38# so far and have 22#-34# left to lose. I still end up in the plus sized section. I still go straight to my old sizes even though they are huge on me.

I still go to plus size as well knowing damn well.a 1x is too big. I have always dressed big trying to hide myself and I still do.... Hope this mentality will get lost as I lose more weight.

I so hear this!!!! i do the exact same thing!!!!! i almost wonder if its cause im scared this isnt real or something i know it sounds stupid

BeyondThePixels

When I was a size 22/24 I didn't feel fat, I was aware, I felt normal and accepted it. Now at size 12/14 I'm feeling the "fat girl" mentality and still manage to end up in the Plus dept. Starting a whole new journey of acceptance...

Heyyleigh

It's called Phanton Fat, we all have it ...

‘Phantom fat’ can linger after weight loss

Losing pounds doesn't automatically shed larger-than-life self-image


http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31489881/ns/health-womens_health/t/phantom-fat-can-linger-after-weight-loss/

chanson104

I've gone from my heaviest of 288 to now 149, and I still have the fat girl mentality. I will still look around and wonder if I am the fattest person in the room; I will look at people and think, if only I was thin like them, and then I will realize that they most likely have 20-30 pounds on me. I have been overweight my whole life and thin for only a few months so I imagine it will take me a while to break that way of thinking. I've accepted that this is part of my journey, and I am working hard to change my self-talk.

I use to always tell myself that if only I could lose 50+ pounds then -- insert wonderful life event here -- would happen. I've learned that my extra weight wasn't my problem -- I was. I will always be a work in process. I'm okay with that. Kaizen!

batalina

i've still got the fat girl mentality. the fact that certain clothes don't fit the way they would if i'd never been big is part of it, i think -- i'm not fat anymore, but i still have trouble wearing not-fat clothes... so that must still mean i'm fat, right? (can't a sista get a pair of jeans that comes up to her waist???)

i also eat like a fat girl. granted, i'm generally healthier about it than i used to be -- old me would be driven crazy by wondering what tuna salad and beefaroni tasted like mixed together. until she mixed them. and she would eat all of it, even though it was horrifyingly disgusting.
new me goes to the 24-hour walmart and buys a can of corn and a can of chopped black olives and mixes them together. and tracks it in her food diary. sometimes i still get convenience store apple pies and eat them in my car out of embarassment... but i track those too.
but it's still the same sort of behavior, still kind of obsessive/compulsive, even though what i'm doing is not as "bad".

also, i look awful when i'm naked and looking at myself in the mirror. i look great with clothes on, at any angle. but unclothed... so many rolls of flesh (that now look WORSE because they're flappy) and my huge, though faded, stretchmarks... there'd be no mistaking me with a true thin-girl. i feel like no matter how thin i get, i will still have the fat mentality, and a fat body -- not just by looks.

GretchenReine

This is something that I have struggled with for some time. I started out over 300 pounds in September. I was probably down 50 or 60 pounds before I started to even see a difference in my body. I'm now down 98 pounds and I actually see my figure. I see my waist.

In all honesty, it really just takes time. I'm still over 200 pounds but am getting closer and closer to ONEderland. I catch me calling myself fat still. For months I've told everyone who commented on the difference that they were insane. It's really something you'll learn to see the difference. I don't know that it's instantaneous for everyone, although it might be for some. It certainly wasn't for me. Having been overweight my whole life...I would imagine that I will call myself fat for a long time to come even though I now see a difference.

Good luck!!!

ETA - Hail to the Redskins!!!

restoreleanne

I was not overwieght for long (7 years) I felt better about shopping or my body before I lost weight. right now I dont know what I have. I have been so us to shoping or look at me fat or pregnant for so long I found what I have under there. Now I have a had time picking me out in pictures. Its hard for people to get ther mind around why I dont feel it. I hope I will lose this fast and start see who I am now.

chanson104

It's called Phanton Fat, we all have it ...

‘Phantom fat’ can linger after weight loss

Losing pounds doesn't automatically shed larger-than-life self-image


http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31489881/ns/health-womens_health/t/phantom-fat-can-linger-after-weight-loss/

This was a fabulous article. Thank you for sharing it! This so describes me!