Breaking the "Fat Girl" Mentality

hawaii86442

That came to my mind today. I was at the bank and looked into their security mirror. I did not recognize the person in the mirror right away. It was me. I still think I am heavier and my hair is long and redder. So who is the person I have become??

Thanks--and you are not alone.

amishabbie17

I'm always amazed when people I know who have lost a lot of weight tell me that they still feel like a fat girl, even though it's been a few years for many of them. Basically, their mind doesn't "recognize" what their body now looks like and they still think they are fat (but not in an eating disordered way). I always assumed that when I got to my goal weight I would feel slim, strong, and fit, but now I'm wondering if getting to goal just brings a new set of challenges.

Have any of you who have lost significant weight still felt fat? If you did but conquered it, how did you do it?

I'm very much that way...At my heaviest i weighed 415 lbs that i'm aware of...I knew i was big...Was big before i got to that point..But didn't over-anaylis it, didn't even really think about to be honest that's why it got so bad...I now weigh 206 lbs. which is not skinny by far..but i'm out of obese and just overweight according to my bmi and feel fat more times now then i did 200 lbs ago when i was super super morbid-obese but that's because i'm more self'concious...It's kinda sad...when i was that big i knew people were staring at me because i was huge, it was normal...And now if i see people looking at me i feel like they are sizing me up...ALL the time...Always first to the negative thought. Hard to break but maybe someday.

laurie62ann

bump - read later

NeverGivesUp

I definitely still feel like I am fat. I cannot believe it when people call me petite. It is really hard for me to wrap my mind around it actually. I think 2013 will be the year I try to change how I see myself.

jacque1129

I'm completely oblivious to how I look. When I was 195lbs I didn't think I was "that fat" and now that I'm 158 I feel fat! I have to look at fat pictures of myself to actually remember what I really did look like. Even at my lowest weight of 142 I thought I was fat. It's so freaking weird. But when I look at pictures of myself of when I was 142 I'm like jeez I was skinny.

I don't understand it, and I'm hoping I can find my way out of this "fat tunnel vision" for the third time at trying to get down to my goal weight.

legnarevocrednu

That's totally me :-( I've lost 105 pounds. Went from 259 to 153 and I still feel disgusting. Hoping it passes. I accept compliments graciously, but part of me doesn't believe them.

SarahofTwins

Yes and no.

Yes, because I was use to being big and sometimes I still see myself that way even though most say I'm skinny now. (Not sure why its hard to believe)

No, because the smaller clothes I bought fit me really good and I'm able to do more things with my kiddos.

micheleld73

I can see the transformation and I'm excited and pumped, but when I go shopping with friends who wear size 0 and 2 while I'm trying to fit into an 8 or 10 - yeah, I still feel EXTREMELY fat at that point.

I thnk the best bet is to go about comparing to what YOU used to look like rather then how skinny someone else is - the latter is only depressing.

DefyGravity1977

I am afraid of the same thing, but with my therapy and the hard work I am putting in and it taking longer than normal that cycle is breaking down. I am no longer thinking of myself as the "fat girl" and am seeing myself for how strong I am.

RedHeadDevotchka

I still see myself as big. I initially lost 35 lbs and although I went from a 14-10 I still felt big. I started strength training, added muscle (I took pics to see my progress) and look way more in shape than I did, and I still feel big. Right now I don't feel like a blimp, but I definitely don't think of myself as average size which I would consider a 10 to be.
I actually feel worse about my body on some days than I used to and I think I look bigger.

karag413

I know that I look better than I did, but I can't wrap my head around how much better I look.

I see myself naked, I know how much further I have to go.

This ^^

pawoodhull

As you can see from my badge, I've lost a lot of weight. I still have 94 to go. My goal is to be at a healthy weight, so if I get to 160 great. If not, but I am below 200 I will be content. I look at myself now and I no longer see that "fat girl". I am no longer "morbidly obese", just obese, and like I said I do have 94 more pounds to go to "ideal weight" for my age and height, but I look and feel so much better and I can shop in "regular" stores now (I may still need the plus sizes in some things but it's not just Lane Bryant anymore!), However, I don't think I want to totally lose the "fat girl mentality" because I don't ever want to forget what it felt like when I was 386 pounds. Remembering what it felt like and looked like is going to help me keep it off when it's all said and done. You know?

vypeters

It's still an adjustment.

Examples:

I still turn sideways to fit through spaces I can now walk through perfectly easily without turning.

If a car is parked near mine, I am always suprised I can squeeze in without opening the door wide open.

I'm still afraid to sit places that might not "take my weight" even though at 136 I can sit most places any adult can

When I'm in a store trying on clothes I'll grab two sizes and often both are too big. My clothes still look way to small to fit me.

I could go on and on, but you get the idea. Consciously I know that at BMI just under 21 I'm slim, but I've been very obese my entire adult life and those subconscious thought habits are hard to break.

betancourta229

Bump

woodsygirl

I felt fat even when I wore a size S. What changed my mentality was seeing photos of myself and strength training. Strength training was killing me with the scale, so I forced myself to just look hard at my body every morning naked in the mirror. When I started to develop muscles, my mind started to recognize that my body was changing and now I see myself differently. I had to change the shape of my body, not just the size in order to have it register

GettinMyLifeBck

Well Ive really enjoyed reading everyone else responses...When I started this journey a 1 1/2 ago I was 428 now 290 the size 28 was too tight for me in shirts and pants but I refused to go into a 30 because LB didn't sell that size. I am now in a 18 top and bottom... I thought I looked so good I would dress super fly and had jewelry for every outfit. I always looked so put together.. Now I feel like my self esteem is lower than ever how could this be??? The last I weighed 290 was when I was in junior high. In the summer of 2012 I got down to 275lb but became scared and started eating and stopped going to gym and making excuses.. I o longer worry about bangles and big rings and purses.. I still shop in plus but Im use to 28 and I still find myself asking for 26 at times...Its def a life time change and I hope my brain catches up so I feel confident to take and pose for pictures. When I was 428 I never hid from the camera...YIKES

mikeswife04

I am that way for sure..... I'm down around 90 pounds.... 220 to 134 and yeah I am trying to let that part go but It isn't easy..... When I go shopping I still walk straight to the size 12's... even though I know I wear a size 4 (ms) and 5 (jr).... I hope to overcome it one day but for now...yeah I still feel like the chubby one lol

awesome_inferno

Hun, I wish you would have a serious talk with your family about their "joking". It is not healthy or nice for them to say those things to you even if they are just "joking".

LoveMyLife_NYC

I still haven't conquered this mentality, so I'm curious to continue reading responses. When I think about my body, I still think of myself as 40 pounds heavier. I never thought I would wear the size clothes I'm in now. Sometimes I go to the store and pick out clothes in my biggest size to remind myself how far I've come, and I still can't believe I was ever that heavy. I see the new, skinny me when I look in the mirror, but she's not in my head yet.

Laura8603

Like others have stated, I did not see myself as morbidly obese as I was before I lost weight. I think it was a coping mechanism because had I truly realized how huge I was at 340 pounds, I would heve never left the house. It did take a while to get used to my new look. I've been at goal over 3 years and do see the "thin" me now.

divacat80

Yeah, today while shopping, I literally forced myself to look in the misses section. I felt very uneasy, like I was trespassing or something. I don't know another way to explain it...For me, I believe, that my lack of self-esteem is creating this wayward thinking. I, also believe this way of thinking is fueling my addiction to cardio. I've been on this journey for over a year now, and my brain is not even close to catching up with the whole weight loss thing. It's crazy....

I know exactly what you mean. Yesterday while out shopping for Christmas gifts, I passed this store called Hollister (I think). I remember over the summer, I ventured in there fairly upbeat and confident with my forty pound loss, only to be scandalized by how small their sizes were! So yesterday, without my husband (who is so supportive), I glanced to the left. Glanced to the right. Nibbled my lip. And stepped back into the land of Tiny Sizes. I glanced suspiciously at the girl folding sweaters and didn't meet her eyes when she greeted me. I stared, debating the stacks and stacks of Little People jeans, again nibbling my lip. The girl comes over to ask me if I need help and I very nearly jumped out of my skin! Like I'd been caught about to steal the diamonds out of a showcase.

I thought for sure, she was going to look at me in pity and tell me that perhaps nothing would really fit. I steeled up my gumption and picked a variety of sizes in random jeans (I'm surprised I could find the courage to grab anything, to be honest) and this pretty white, shimmery sweater in an /ambitious/ medium.

I make my way back to the dressing room (at this point, I discovered their dressing rooms kind of suck with no bench or chair or /anything/ and for an upscale place, they need SOMETHING) following the dressing room attendant's lead. I stare at the jeans I have hung on the hooks and proceed to try things on like I'm about to be yelling, "LET THEM EAT CAKE" as the proverbial guillotine is about to come down on my fat booty.

One size didn't fit (and it was comical how badly this was going), but the middle size (yes, I did the goldilocks thing: small-not-to-be-really-expected, the-just-right-hopefully-please-Lord medium, and the-please-not-this-size-but-I'll-take-it-because-it's-their-largest-size-in-store. I was amazed! The medium-just-right size fit! And the medium sweater fit!

Still, once undressed and back into my street clothes, as I was leaving, and they were like "nothing worked?" making those cluck-cluck-please-spend-your-money noises, I STILL felt like I was in a land that I was outclassed in.

In the end, I didn't get chased out of the store and I fit into something I've been gearing up the courage to try to fit into for a few months now.

LOL!!!!! What a good story, thank you so much for sharing! I can relate to it so well XD

when I was almost morbidly obese I knew I was obese but I had the dismorphic disorder all the way around. Instead of seeing myslef larger than I was in the mirror, I used to see myself tinier than I truly was. It wasn't until I saw pictures taken of me that My real size slapped me on the face.
Now I think I see myself the way I am, no dismorphia. But I'm having a hard time realising I'm not fat anymore. I have fat I'd love to lose, but I know I'll never get the perfect body society pushes us to have.
But I'm always going into misses stores to check what they have and I amaze myself when I see I fit into regular sizes.

It's going to be hard to realise I'm not fat anymore
But you know what? I think we feel this way because we know how easy it is for us to go back to our old eating habits and back to our old selves.
This is going to be a lifelong battle, at least for those of us who reached morbid obesity at some point in our lives.

Lisah8969

55 pounds ago, I avoided looking at myself in the mirror as much as possible. I knew I looked terrible and didn't want to admit it. Now I do look in the mirror and I do like what i see (in comparison to what I was), but I notice new things. I was doing the stepper at the gym last week and was staring at my calves. One of them looked bigger than the other! WTF? So I got home and measured and sure enough one is an inch bigger than the other! Now I am afraid to look in the mirror again! LOL!