Having a private diary seems so counter-productive to me....

13

Replies

  • I keep mine closed because I got a lot of harsh feedback about eating too few calories. I follow my Doctor's advice and it doesn't agree with a lot of others here on MFP. Although, I know most of them mean well, I just need to focus on what my doctor has said.
    And that is the sad part...ppl think they have a phd or some other degree to tell us who eat too little exactly what we are doing wrong and ppl who eat to much what they are doing wrong. I am sure we all know. Everyone of us have a story behind why we are like we are and ppl don't take the time to get to know someone but would rather jump right in and start judgeing. I keep mine open to my mfp friends only as they have taken the time to know me and know my story. People who feel the need to judge all the time are just insecure with themselves and have nothing better to do with their time!
  • Ejwelton
    Ejwelton Posts: 331 Member
    Mine is only open to friends. Mainly because my PT is one of them and she critiques my eating.
    I know what I should and shouldn't eat and while I read the forum posts for tips I am quite happy with what I'm doing.

    I do want to say how amazing I everyone here is. Those who ask for support get it and the success stories are very inspiring.
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
    This website can be used for a plethora of reasons, and while many are here for the purpose of support/guidance, not all of us want it in that matter. I'm happy getting support through chatting with my friends, or in group discussions. Frankly, I'm quite content having my diary 100% private because I'm not interested in what other people think about my eating habits (nor do I think it's anything worth sharing for the sake of helping others). I log for my personal record.

    I understand that others, though, want accountability and guidance and tips on how to improve -- and that's fine. But I don't find my habits counterproductive because I don't see how having it open would be productive for my reasons :)

    This, exactly. My food diary is for me to track what I eat. Nothing more. I've lost 32 lbs. since mid January, so apparently it's working for me.

    For me, my public accountability is in my weight ticker. Although I know that most people don't notice my weight from day to day or think, "She's got nothing to worry about," it does bug me when my weight's gone up again.
  • kekl
    kekl Posts: 382 Member
    I'm not worried about people seeing a binge day (I don't have them); I know that people are extremely judgmental of even healthy diets that do not match their own and I don't want to deal with it. If you spend two minutes randomly flipping through forum posts, you'll have no trouble finding people whining and criticizing and blatantly insulting others who don't happen to meet their standards for what a diet is supposed to look like. Pretty much daily, I see people with perfectly healthy diets accused of eating disorders, starving themselves, making stupid unhealthy choices, and so on. And those people eat a lot like I do.

    Honestly, I don't need help. I know what I'm doing. The last thing I need is a bunch of self-righteous food police who know nothing about me or my circumstances calling me names and telling me I'm an idiot. Don't get me wrong, I recognize that the majority of people aren't like that, but I'm not willing to open myself up to abuse from those who are.

    ^ This exactly.
  • leanandmean2012
    leanandmean2012 Posts: 179 Member
    People with no pics are also kinda counter-productive. Can't get feedback if ur a ghost lol
  • Salvi30
    Salvi30 Posts: 196 Member
    I keep mine open...food has been a dirty little secret for me for way too long...


    I second that!
  • My diary is open to my friends, but, honestly, I don't have it for other people to look at. I'm not using it as motivation. I'm using it to track my calories, to tell me where I am for the day and how many calories I have left. That's it. If my friends see it and want to make a comment, that's fine, but that's not what I use it for at all.

    And I would never make it open to everyone. There are way too many people who are VERY certain that their way is the only way, and I know I'd get bitched at for eating too few calories or not enough kale chips or something. Just not worth it to me. I had to leave my last forum because I was bullied. I don't need it here, too.
  • TheBraveryLover
    TheBraveryLover Posts: 1,217 Member
    We are all here for a common goal...to get healthier!

    No, that's not the the reason that we're ALL here. Many of us are here for aestethic reasons. And there's nothing wrong with that.

    If a person can get to their goal, whether health related or to get into a polka dot bikini, without keeping their diary public, then who are you to say otherwise?

    Just, fyi, my diary is open to my friends. They can see that I eat about 75-80 percent "healthy" daily but my definition of eating "healthy" may be different than yours.
  • psiren28
    psiren28 Posts: 530 Member
    Mine is open to my friends but to be honest, I'm not sure why I have it that way. I think initially when I started getting friends I thought it was polite to open it up as most of them have an open diary. I've seen some people request friends with the criteria that they must have an open diary so I guess I just thought I 'should' open it to mine.

    I don't need advice on what to eat and if I did I'd ask on the forums. I also don't need encouragement or compliments if I've had a good day. My diary is just for me to keep track, not to inspire or entertain anyone else. So yes, for now it's open to my friends for no other reason than I haven't bothered closing it and no one is annoying me with comments.

    I rarely look at my friends diaries unless they comment on something and I'm curious. I don't understand people who demand open diaries from their friends, seems nosey rather than helpful. I just assume people who have a closed one are doing fine without any input from others

    Having a closed diary isn't counter-productive if you don't want or need advice. It's just a personal logging tool.
  • kazzari
    kazzari Posts: 473 Member
    I always thought the purpose of keeping one's diary open is so other's can offer suggestions WHEN advice is asked for. Such as "I can't understand why I'm losing weight", not for random people to read and offer unsolicited advice. I assume if you're not asking, you aren't interested in my opinion and you wouldn't pay much heed if I offered it. If someone ever tried to tell me I need to change something about my diet I would just laugh.
  • becka63
    becka63 Posts: 712 Member
    Mine's open, my MFP friends are all wonderful and if you aren't my MFP friend and choose to comment when I haven't asked for help or advice, then I'll probably ignore you.

    However, I didn't log for most of April, so effectively that was VERY private! But, it is each to their own. I could care less.
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
    I keep mine closed because I got a lot of harsh feedback about eating too few calories. I follow my Doctor's advice and it doesn't agree with a lot of others here on MFP. Although, I know most of them mean well, I just need to focus on what my doctor has said.
    And that is the sad part...ppl think they have a phd or some other degree to tell us who eat too little exactly what we are doing wrong and ppl who eat to much what they are doing wrong. I am sure we all know. Everyone of us have a story behind why we are like we are and ppl don't take the time to get to know someone but would rather jump right in and start judgeing. I keep mine open to my mfp friends only as they have taken the time to know me and know my story. People who feel the need to judge all the time are just insecure with themselves and have nothing better to do with their time!


    If we had signatures that were added to each post, mine might be something like:

    "Are you a medical doctor? Do you have advanced level nutritional training? Do you keep up with current studies? Have you met me? Do you know my weight and general medical history? If not, shut up!"
  • Mercenary1914
    Mercenary1914 Posts: 1,087 Member
    I keep my diary open because I am all about going to other people's diary to see what I can eat too.
  • pixelberry
    pixelberry Posts: 167 Member
    I'm not worried about people seeing a binge day (I don't have them); I know that people are extremely judgmental of even healthy diets that do not match their own and I don't want to deal with it. If you spend two minutes randomly flipping through forum posts, you'll have no trouble finding people whining and criticizing and blatantly insulting others who don't happen to meet their standards for what a diet is supposed to look like. Pretty much daily, I see people with perfectly healthy diets accused of eating disorders, starving themselves, making stupid unhealthy choices, and so on. And those people eat a lot like I do.

    Honestly, I don't need help. I know what I'm doing. The last thing I need is a bunch of self-righteous food police who know nothing about me or my circumstances calling me names and telling me I'm an idiot. Don't get me wrong, I recognize that the majority of people aren't like that, but I'm not willing to open myself up to abuse from those who are.

    ^^^^^
    This! Too many trolls and don't want to deal with them. What is working for me, works for me, don't need someone else expecting me to live up to their standards.
  • mfanyafujo
    mfanyafujo Posts: 232 Member
    Mine's private because I essentially eat the same meals over and over and over again... I don't have many healthy food options right now, so I'm mostly focusing on exercising, and I'll eat healthy in a few months when I'm back home. Maybe then I'll open my diary, but for now, what's the point? No amount of people commenting on how I eat can possibly change it.
  • Roni_M
    Roni_M Posts: 717 Member
    I'm not worried about people seeing a binge day (I don't have them); I know that people are extremely judgmental of even healthy diets that do not match their own and I don't want to deal with it. If you spend two minutes randomly flipping through forum posts, you'll have no trouble finding people whining and criticizing and blatantly insulting others who don't happen to meet their standards for what a diet is supposed to look like. Pretty much daily, I see people with perfectly healthy diets accused of eating disorders, starving themselves, making stupid unhealthy choices, and so on. And those people eat a lot like I do.

    Honestly, I don't need help. I know what I'm doing. The last thing I need is a bunch of self-righteous food police who know nothing about me or my circumstances calling me names and telling me I'm an idiot. Don't get me wrong, I recognize that the majority of people aren't like that, but I'm not willing to open myself up to abuse from those who are.
    ^This, I could have wrote this exact reasoning for why my diary is closed. I have bad days, (who doesn't) I don't mean binge go over your calories, but the days where fatty foods are tasty to me, and salty foods are appealing, and where I just don't give a damn about what I am going to eat that day, also, if I have too few calories, I'm afraid I'll get crap.

    I agree with this. I'm not looking for feedback on my diet...if i was it would be open. I have a ton of bad habits and i'm aware of what they are so don't need anyone to tell me. I also absolutely refuse to eat things that i don't like just because they are "healthy". I'm here for me not anyone else and so far what i'm doing is working. I also don't look at others diaries. I'm not intrested in what they are eating and it's none of my business. If i want ideas...it's easier to browse the recipe section on the forum!

    My question to the OP is, why does it bother you that you can't see what someone is eating?
  • Wow! I've read other people's food diaries, but never thought to say anything. Who am I to do so? To me it carries more weight anyway getting advice from someone you have a connection with and not some random poster.
  • kylesmommy89
    kylesmommy89 Posts: 356 Member
    Some people just don't want strangers all in their business. What does it matter to you? I didn't eat any better or worse when my diary was private or public. I don't really need others to hold me accountable. I do it myself :)
  • HorrorChix89
    HorrorChix89 Posts: 1,229 Member
    I keep mine private cause a lot of people like to judge your actions on the site by looking at your profile or diary. I just don't feel like getting judged unless I ask for it
  • MissChyna
    MissChyna Posts: 358 Member
    I agree....
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    We had this exact thread not two days ago.

    I'll repeat myself...
    My diary is neither inspirational nor shameful. I'm perfectly healthy, I neither want nor need advice. It is not 'hidden', it is 'private' because it is nobody's business but my own.
    If you feel cheated then report me to mfp and demand I refund what you've paid me.

    The control freak desire to see everyone else acting as you do is bizzare.
  • gertudejekyl
    gertudejekyl Posts: 386 Member
    Some people actually think they have the right to start telling you what to eat or not eat... !! I like to keep mine open and if someone starts hassling me or making judgmental comments I just DELETE them !!!!
  • JeneticTraining
    JeneticTraining Posts: 663 Member
    It's their choice.
  • Warchortle
    Warchortle Posts: 2,197 Member
    some people don't give a ****, but don't ask for dietary help with a closed diary.

    "I eat lots of veggies and eat 1g of protein per lb of body weight..."

    bull****. Open up your food log.
  • laele75
    laele75 Posts: 283 Member
    Some people, like myself, are just very private. I have been logging for nearly three weeks straight, reading the forums and blogs from time to time. I don't like to feel like people are looking at what I'm eating, judging my diet. It's very stressful and the last thing any of us need is more stress.
  • eileen0515
    eileen0515 Posts: 408 Member
    Some people need hand holding, I don't.
  • mine is open to friends, and they never judge what i eat or didn't eat, but i'm also picky about the friends i choose
  • Sharkington
    Sharkington Posts: 485
    My diary is only viewable to people on my friends list. It is private to everyone else because I don't feel like it's anyone elses business. It's not counter productive for me, the person I joined this site for. I'd make it public if I wanted more input, but I don't. :flowerforyou:
  • dixiewhiskey
    dixiewhiskey Posts: 3,333 Member
    I am here for me, not for anyone else.

    I give support to my friends and if they have questions about my eating habits, they are more than welcome to ask me but at the end of the day, I am here for me. What I do works for me, if I ever need to ask for help then I would consider opening it up. Until then :cry: and deal.
  • dixiewhiskey
    dixiewhiskey Posts: 3,333 Member
    We had this exact thread not two days ago.

    I'll repeat myself...
    My diary is neither inspirational nor shameful. I'm perfectly healthy, I neither want nor need advice. It is not 'hidden', it is 'private' because it is nobody's business but my own.
    If you feel cheated then report me to mfp and demand I refund what you've paid me.

    The control freak desire to see everyone else acting as you do is bizzare.

    Bingo!