Do Long Distance Relationships Work?

Options
pinkpascal
pinkpascal Posts: 75 Member
in Chit-Chat
My boyfriend lives in New Jersey and I live in England. I've just come back from spending a week with him and now feel like i've been broken in two. I guess i just need some reassurance that this can work, we are both determind to make it happen and have discussed getting engaged possibly when i visit him in August with my family (he wants to ask my dad lol). So my question is this - has anyone else been in a long distance relationship and are you still with that person?
«13456

Replies

  • SergeantSunshine_reused
    SergeantSunshine_reused Posts: 5,382 Member
    Options
    I have been in a long distance relation ship (washington state - iowa) for 3 years now. We are both 100% committed.

    We also have plans to get engaged in the future. The relationship and love we have is worth the wait. Wouldn't leave him :]
  • DS67ATX
    DS67ATX Posts: 289
    Options
    Never been in one but I wonder if it would work.My guess is that it depends on both people in the relationship.
  • charmander89
    charmander89 Posts: 37 Member
    Options
    My fiance and I went to the same college and dated for a year before we had to do long distance, but right now we've been long distance for about a year with only a few visits in between (he lives in the states and I live in Canada). It was devastating at first but eventually it got easier. We skype every night that we can, I think the most important thing is to keep up communication!
  • pinkpascal
    pinkpascal Posts: 75 Member
    Options
    My fiance and I went to the same college and dated for a year before we had to do long distance, but right now we've been long distance for about a year with only a few visits in between (he lives in the states and I live in Canada). It was devastating at first but eventually it got easier. We skype every night that we can, I think the most important thing is to keep up communication!

    I've been a mess since i got home this morning, all i've done is cry. I hope it gets easier.
  • pornstarzombie
    pornstarzombie Posts: 297
    Options
    Yes, they can definitely work :)
  • poeticallydevine
    poeticallydevine Posts: 56 Member
    Options
    long distance relationships are not for me.. if you not with in a 15- 45 min drive to where i can physically touch you .. its not for me... i have needs.. just being honest!
  • SergeantSunshine_reused
    SergeantSunshine_reused Posts: 5,382 Member
    Options
    My fiance and I went to the same college and dated for a year before we had to do long distance, but right now we've been long distance for about a year with only a few visits in between (he lives in the states and I live in Canada). It was devastating at first but eventually it got easier. We skype every night that we can, I think the most important thing is to keep up communication!

    We do the same. Skype, talk on the phone, text, he writes me letters/cards and such
  • Jaxper
    Jaxper Posts: 23 Member
    Options
    we are both determind to make it happen

    It's tough, but you said it all right there in what I quoted.
  • rubysphoto
    rubysphoto Posts: 254 Member
    Options
    Yes, there are a lot of ways to keep to keep in touch that can keep that bond while apart. :-)
  • lil_pulp
    lil_pulp Posts: 701 Member
    Options
    Based on my and several friends' experiences, long distance relationships seem much more likely to work if you knew each other before the LDR started. If you've never LIVED real life together (not necessarily sharing a home, just living in the same general area...and anything that can be called a "visit" isn't "real life"), it's hard--if not impossible--to predict what that will be like. Good luck!
  • pinkpascal
    pinkpascal Posts: 75 Member
    Options
    Based on my and several friends' experiences, long distance relationships seem much more likely to work if you knew each other before the LDR started. If you've never LIVED real life together (not necessarily sharing a home, just living in the same general area...and anything that can be called a "visit" isn't "real life"), it's hard--if not impossible--to predict what that will be like. Good luck!

    I knew him before we started dating, we both worked at Disney together and didn't realise that we liked each other. I spent everyday hanging out at his apartment and we kept in contact for two years before we got together after realising that we wanted to be together after failed relationships on both sides. He is my best friend as well as the love of my life.
  • nz_deevaa
    nz_deevaa Posts: 12,209 Member
    Options
    My husband and I met online in January, 2001.

    I lived in New Zealand and he lived/s in Australia.

    We dated 'online' for a year, before finally deciding that we wanted to actually be together.

    I packed up my life and my son and moved to Australia, and we've been happy since. It can work. :P
  • lil_pulp
    lil_pulp Posts: 701 Member
    Options
    Based on my and several friends' experiences, long distance relationships seem much more likely to work if you knew each other before the LDR started. If you've never LIVED real life together (not necessarily sharing a home, just living in the same general area...and anything that can be called a "visit" isn't "real life"), it's hard--if not impossible--to predict what that will be like. Good luck!

    I knew him before we started dating, we both worked at Disney together and didn't realise that we liked each other. I spent everyday hanging out at his apartment and we kept in contact for two years before we got together after realising that we wanted to be together after failed relationships on both sides. He is my best friend as well as the love of my life.

    Definitely sounds promising. (Plus, it's a good story!)
  • Saruman_w
    Saruman_w Posts: 1,531 Member
    Options
    Depends, I think. It seems to be hit or miss for a lot of folks. Both people would have to be reeeally into it and keep constant communication, complete honesty, maybe occasional visits, etc in order for it to be successful. But then again I never been in a relationship so my remarks probably wouldn't carry much weight. :/
  • CaroSeraMince
    CaroSeraMince Posts: 51
    Options
    It can work! I met my boyfriend online while he was deployed. We met after he got home and we did the long distance thing with visits as often as we could for a year. Then we lived together for a year before he deployed again. So it's totally doable, you just need to talk about what your expectations for communication are. As long as you communicate everything, you should be ok! He gets back from Afghanistan this fall and we'll be doing the long distance thing again because my job is stable right now and he's looking at going to law school. So, we just hold on for the ride and remind each other every day how important the other is.

    You can do it!

    Oh, and also, re: crying after seeing each other. I about flooded the Phoenix airport last summer when he came to visit me for less than 48 hours before he had to leave again to deploy. It was wonderful to see him but SO HARD to be separated. You'll be ok, though. Talking about it helps. :)
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    Options
    I've been doing long distance with my boyfriend since August. We only each other every 3-4 months, which sucks. It's been working so far thanks to Skype, which we do a few days a week. Lately we've both been pretty busy which has taken a toll on our relationship, but he'll be home soon for a month so hopefully we'll get things back on track. It really requires commitment-to make time for each other and to stick with your boyfriend even when it's tough. You will probably feel like giving up sometimes, especially after he leaves again but those feelings may pass, and you'll get into a rhythm of life without him. It also requires trust, honesty, and open communication. And my advice would be not to rush to get married. It works for some people, but there's a lot you find out about a person by living near them that you can't doing long distance. It's okay to take time to see if things will really work. I think it helps that you're thinking about that kind of commitment though-that's what it takes to make it work in the long run!
  • Dee_84
    Dee_84 Posts: 431 Member
    Options
    I did the whole long distance thing for almost 4 years, after dating for a little over a year before. I lived in Germany, he in the US. We saw each other about twice a year. Got engaged one year into the LDR, and eloped a year later. One and a half year later we finally live together! So it worked out in the end.
    He's in the military and gone a lot. So we cherish even more the time that we get to spend together.

    If both want it to work, it will work!
  • pinkpascal
    pinkpascal Posts: 75 Member
    Options
    Thanks for your responses. All I know is that we really want to make this work and I'm miserable when we are seperated. I'm trying to find a way of moving over there to be with him.
  • heyitsmegxx
    heyitsmegxx Posts: 444
    Options
    Absolutely. I live in Australia, and my boyfriend lives in America. Long distance relationships take work, but they can work. You just have to trust each other 100%.
  • startinganewleaf
    startinganewleaf Posts: 56
    Options
    depends how often you are able to see each other, and how often you are able to skype/talk to each other if not. my bf is in the navy, havent seen him in over a year now, its hard

Categories