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  • jenj1313
    jenj1313 Posts: 898 Member
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    glad everyone liked it. I've been having a battle with girlfriend lately. Trying to get her to be more affectionate. I cook dinner before she gets home, I clean the house, I pay the bills, hell when she gets off work and its been raining outside I got fresh clothes out of the dryer so she can warm up... So I've tried a lot of different things. The only thing that I think will work is this so. I'm on for a journey i guess.
    Is she "just not affectionate" or was she affectionate before and now she's not? Either way, have you thought of what you're going to do if you hit your goals and she's still not as affectionate as you'd like?

    You might want to think about picking up a book called the "7 Love Languages"... sounds like you are giving her the things you would like to have someone give you, but are they the things that she needs to feel loved? If not, they aren't going to get the results you want. That's what the book says, anyway... I'm single and divorced x 2, so what the heck do I know? :laugh: I've decided to just learn to love being single, but I did read this and it made a lot of sense to me... I just think it was too late in my relationship by then for it to do any good. But I digress...

    Good luck reaching your goals. I hope they are for you as much as they are for her!
    Thanks for serving, btw. I appreciate your hard work and sacrifice.

    All the best,
    Jen

    Edited to correct a typo
  • jenj1313
    jenj1313 Posts: 898 Member
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    Um, Specialist, your health care is covered by your service, INCLUDING counseling. I don't know if they cover her if she's not a dependent, but you can see someone on your own to help you sort things out. They SHOULD cover the non-dependant in relationship counseling b/c sh***y marriages cause soldiers a lot of time, money, and heartache, but I don't know if they do or not. Can't hurt to look into it.

    Good luck!
  • cgray
    cgray Posts: 132 Member
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    When my husband and I (13 years May 28th) first started dating I had similar feelings. I was skinny but not cut, not in shape and kind of blah. I felt like I wasn't good enough. I'm not very pretty but there's nothing I could really do about that but I could work out. At first I had hoped it would completely change the way he looked at me, I would get more complements, he would say I was "hot", but what I've realized now is that it wasn't HIM it was me. It was my level of confidence. He hasn't changed a bit but thanks to working out more I have. He can say I'm hot if he wants to or not but I know I'm blowing away 99% of those little 18-year-olds on the beach and I'm twice their age. You can't change others, you can improve on yourself.

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