Dear Co-Worker
Replies
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Dear Co-Worker,
I really do not care to listen to your 30 minute personal phone call about your hemmoroids and how your son is sick... Please take them outside or somewhere other than ear shot. Also please do not speak to me within the first hour of my arrival to work as I am not a morning person and it is hard for me to control my rage during this time. Please keep comments to yourself during this time, this includes good morning. One day I might just say shove your good morning up your *kitten*, and you would think that I was rude. Please come to work. Please don't leave on your lunch break and call in to say you're sick and not coming back. When every single person in this office isn't here to do their job it causes a strain on everyone. I come to work, do my job, don't leave early, and don't call in sick when i'm not really sick. Please return the favor.
Sincerely,
Your Ticked Off Co-worker0 -
Dear Co-Worker AKA my Supervisor,
It is not necessary nor professional to pull in the parking lot with your rap music blaring so loud I can hear it inside closed doors. Why must you hairspray your hair every morning once you walk in the office? Shouldn't personal grooming be done at home? Also you go and get your nails done every 2 weeks... why is it necessary for you to sit at your desk and file them? Isn't that what you pay them to do? Slamming your phone down and banging on the keyboard does not fix things, it usually breaks them. ANNNDD in case you didn't notice we pick our feet up when we walk not drag our feet through the hall.
OH and it's GOAL not GOLD, Our GOLD is not to make vendors happy OUR GOAL is to make vendors happy.
Sincerley,
Your unhappy employee who has worked here for 2 years and can't take it any longer!!0 -
Dear Co-Worker,
I know you are in your 20's and think you know everything (going to school to be a lawyer and all), but really, you don't, you still have soooo much to learn. You are not "really observant" you are just too busy wanting to make sure that everyone else is doing their job when you aren't doing your own. Get back to your desk and TAKE YOUR CALLS, quit letting them roll to your mom!!! She isn't getting paid to do YOUR job, she's getting paid to do HERS. IF you want to do your homwork at your desk, that is fine by me, just don't moan and groan when I am on MY lunch break and you have to answer calls. You're being paid to take calls, not do homework.
If you would stop pointing YOUR finger at what everyone else is doing wrong, you'd see that there are three others pointing back at you. Try taking the plank out of YOUR eye before trying to take the splinger out of others. I'm just saying!!!
Sincerely,
your Next Desk Neighbor!!!0 -
Also please do not speak to me within the first hour of my arrival to work as I am not a morning person and it is hard for me to control my rage during this time. Please keep comments to yourself during this time, this includes good morning. One day I might just say shove your good morning up your *kitten*, and you would think that I was rude.
That's because it is rude.0 -
Dear co-workers:
I am absolutely thrilled to be back in this office with you. I've missed you both and I'm so happy the new guy (my boss) fits in so well with this office. I look forward to going to work and my day passes by quickly. I am often surprised that it's already time to go home!
Bless you all!
Love,
Your paralegal/legal administrative assistant0 -
Dear co -worker,
Yes you must clean your room and quit fighting with your brother.
Love,
Mom
( I work from home )0 -
This is perfect. I was just wanting to rant.
Dear Co-Workers,
When you send me a request and I send it back asking for additional information, escalating the issue to my manager is not going to resolve it any sooner. It will only result in my manager sending it to me to handle and me calling your manager. I need the additional information for a reason. It helps me determine if there is a problem with the vendor or a merchant that I need to have fixed with them. Also, answering an email where I ask you a question with "Thank you" isn't answering anything. Again, it only results in me sending it back to you. I will not resolve your problem unless you provide me with the additional data I need. My manager will not help you. Her manager will not help you and sending an email complaining about the fact that I'm asking for additional information to resolve the issue properly to the person directly under the CEO WILL NOT HELP YOU! There's a reason I need the information. Just send it to me and all will be well. Otherwise it creates way more work for me making me extremely unhappy which just leads to a phone conversation with your manager because you're preventing me from doing my job correctly.
Thanks,
The Person Who Has To Deal with All The Vendors And The Issues They Cause
OMG!! I think you are in my department!!! LOL! I have had that exact same rant in my mind! So happy we are not alone!
Oh yes. Same rant over here too.
also, "Please Handle" does not tell me anything about the issue....DETAILS people, DETAILS. :mad:0 -
Dear Co-Worker,
I really do not care to listen to your 30 minute personal phone call about your hemmoroids and how your son is sick... Please take them outside or somewhere other than ear shot. Also please do not speak to me within the first hour of my arrival to work as I am not a morning person and it is hard for me to control my rage during this time. Please keep comments to yourself during this time, this includes good morning. One day I might just say shove your good morning up your *kitten*, and you would think that I was rude. Please come to work. Please don't leave on your lunch break and call in to say you're sick and not coming back. When every single person in this office isn't here to do their job it causes a strain on everyone. I come to work, do my job, don't leave early, and don't call in sick when i'm not really sick. Please return the favor.
Sincerely,
Your Ticked Off Co-worker
^^^This^^^^ made me LOL0 -
Dear Co-Worker,
I know you just started here and you are looking to make friends but you're trying too hard. Since you are the help desk guy I am not about to burn a bridge (I mean, who better to have in your corner than the help desk guy, right?), but seriously, I do not want to 1) go out to lunch with you 2) go out walking with you on our lunch break or 3) be your best friend (seriously, he's said that 3 times in the past 3 weeks). I'm flattered that you want to form this friendship (or maybe even a little more), but I'm starting to find it a bit creepy.
Sincerely,
Annoyed woman who happens to have the office right outside of your cube0 -
Dear co -worker,
Yes you must clean your room and quit fighting with your brother.
Love,
Mom
( I work from home )
Love it!0 -
Dear Owners entitled son,
Quit coming in my office and farting. Also, no body cares about how you got drunk in Vegas last week.
Sincerely,
F.U.0 -
Dear Co-Workers,
You all have been extremely helpful in bringing me up to speed in the short 2.5 months I have been here. Thank you!
And...you smell, you're rude, no one likes you, blah blah blah.0 -
Dear Co-workerS,
You cannot teach old dogs new tricks. Menopause brain has set in. I know you can't help it and yes it will happen to me one day, but please.. throw in the towel. Go home. You are spent.0 -
Dear co -worker,
Yes you must clean your room and quit fighting with your brother.
Love,
Mom
( I work from home )
:laugh:0 -
Dear Co-Worker,
When my eyes begin glazing over after listening to you yammer on about a phone call that you took or a life's event that I never asked you about, please shut-up and leave my office.
I have pretend people on mfp to attend to. :laugh:
Sincerely,
Don't you ever need to take a breath?????? :noway:
@shannon023 - i prefer 'mythical' to pretend, mmmmkay?0 -
Dear Co-worker,
You know that bribe you took from a client and the fake expense report you asked me to co-sign?
I told the ethics committee.
Good luck with that!
BB
Snap!0 -
Dear Co-Worker,
You are so hot, I get hot just thinking about you. I'd like to clear off your desk with one arm and ... Or meet me in the empty stairwell for a quick 10-minute 'break'.
Sincerely,
your coworker wife0 -
Dear CoWorkers,
It is not necessary to cc: everyone to point out an error. I do not throw you under the bus, do not throw me under it. It is also not necessary to change the structure of invoices every month (without telling me) and copying everyone to let them know I used the wrong format "again".
F.U.K.P.A.M.L.0 -
Dear co-worker (who I secretly want to be like when I grow up),
Thank you for offering me an apple just now(I was on my way to buy a candy bar), and never making me feel horrible for being the shape I am in or judging me, even though you ride your bike 20 miles a day to work.
You ROCK!0 -
Dear Co-Worker,
You are so hot, I get hot just thinking about you. I'd like to clear off your desk with one arm and ... Or meet me in the empty stairwell for a quick 10-minute 'break'.
Sincerely,
your coworker wife
hell yeah, I'd get squat done if I worked with my man...there would be a lot of "on the desk" fun0 -
Dear Co-Worker,
I know that you enjoy your smoke breaks but I for one don't enjoy the second hand smoke wafting into the building while you crack the door.
Could you walk like seven steps and close the damn door?
I'm pretty certain THAT won't kill you but those cancer sticks you're sucking on could have a roll in your demise. Also you smell like spent cat litter and cigarette smoke so please stay away from my desk area because your aroma makes me gag.
And to my other co-worker, you're a pretentious twit who thinks you're better than everyone even though you don't have a clue of how to do half the jobs in this dept...when I know them all. Sorry, I can't respect you because you have made it known that you feel my position is "below your level of expertise". Also you have the worst perpetual PMS I have ever come across in my life. What makes it more ironic is that you're a dude.
No hard feelings but if I ever get out of this place, I hope we never cross paths again.
Hugs. :P0 -
Dear co-worker (who I secretly want to be like when I grow up),
Thank you for offering me an apple just now(I was on my way to buy a candy bar), and never making me feel horrible for being the shape I am in or judging me, even though you ride your bike 20 miles a day to work.
You ROCK!
What a great co-worker. Lucky!0 -
Dear Co-Worker:
I have known you for about 15 years.............I have stood by you when you had a tumor near your brain, when you suffered with all sorts of maladies, even when you attempted suicide. I have watched you become a different person, but have still done my best to support you through thick and thin, because I knew that really GOOD person years ago, and I liked her.
So, next time I tell you something in confidence about a meeting with our Dept head, and you THROW me under the bus to our supervisor, you might consider that I"m probably your last friend, and that wasn't a very smart thing to do. And when you pretend that you just don't CARE if we're friends anymore, well, we aren't.
You burned a bridge that can most probably never be repaired, as I'll never trust you again. So, when you begin to suffer with your PRETEND maladies and MADE UP bulls!!t hypochondriac-infused illnesses, do not expect any sympathy from me. You're dead to me.
Your Former Friend0 -
Dear Co-Worker,
Your an @ss hole. No one likes you here. Your in your late 50's. You are alone, you will be alone for ever because you think your right and perfect. But in reality your not. If you were a little nicer and didn't come down the stairs and say "Whats up Bi&^h" Maybe I would be a little nicer to you. Oh and another thing, yelling at your computer because your ignorant doesn't fix anything.
Sincerely,
The receptionist
You're.
Oh the irony.0 -
Dear Co-Worker,
Your an @ss hole. No one likes you here. Your in your late 50's. You are alone, you will be alone for ever because you think your right and perfect. But in reality your not. If you were a little nicer and didn't come down the stairs and say "Whats up Bi&^h" Maybe I would be a little nicer to you. Oh and another thing, yelling at your computer because your ignorant doesn't fix anything.
Sincerely,
The receptionist
You're.
Oh the irony.
LmaO!0 -
Dear Co-worker,
You do NOT have a sexy voice...no matter how many time you ask me if I think your ex smoker, old lady voice is sexy, the answer will always be **** no! You are not attractive in the least bit, you drive me crazy showing off the new clothes you bought that you think make you look very thin....the only thing thin is the hair on the top of your head! Would you please stop acting like the world revolves around you and that everything you have, everything you do and everyone you know are the BEST THINGS SINCE SLICED bread! Somedays if I could pop you one right in the nose I would....and if I ever win the lotto...better count on it!
Sincerely,
Your totally annoyed younger co-worker
PS don't call me a ****ing kid ever again!0 -
Dear Co-worker,
You do NOT have a sexy voice...no matter how many time you ask me if I think your ex smoker, old lady voice is sexy, the answer will always be **** no! You are not attractive in the least bit, you drive me crazy showing off the new clothes you bought that you think make you look very thin....the only thing thin is the hair on the top of your head! Would you please stop acting like the world revolves around you and that everything you have, everything you do and everyone you know are the BEST THINGS SINCE SLICED bread! Somedays if I could pop you one right in the nose I would....and if I ever win the lotto...better count on it!
Sincerely,
Your totally annoyed younger co-worker
PS don't call me a ****ing kid ever again!
Hey there, MinnyGirl! How 'bout them Vikings, huh?
lol............dang, I hope that the young kids around my office don't think this way about me! I'm one of the OLD broads around here!!! yikes!
But, I"m not as old as the gal who TALKs TO HERSELF, all day, every day.........at the copier, at the coffee area, at her desk, in the BATHROOM, for heaven's sake!
lol.0 -
Also please do not speak to me within the first hour of my arrival to work as I am not a morning person and it is hard for me to control my rage during this time. Please keep comments to yourself during this time, this includes good morning. One day I might just say shove your good morning up your *kitten*, and you would think that I was rude.
That's because it is rude.
But see you missed the point. I'm being nice by not talking to you first thing in the am. I could care less if you think im rude or not. :grumble:0 -
Dear Co Worker,
You are not qualified to do your job. I'm not what you put on your resume to impress the powers that be, but I'm hip to your foolishness. I am often burdened with having management ask me to correct your mistakes, but unfortunately, it was managements decision to bring you on in a permanent position despite them watching you make these same types of mistakes during you trial period.
Also, stop coming to my desk and asking me if there is more work that you can do, when I'm clear that if I give you work, you will find some major way to do it wrong and I will have to do it correctly anyway. There's no sense in two of us working now is there? *sigh*
Signed,
you're lucky i'm not your supervisor0 -
Dear Coworkers,
Some of you I like, some of you annoy me and I'd rather avoid, a couple of you are great friends inside and outside of the office. I have worked here half of my life and most of you are like family, some of you like the family I avoid, but family all the same.
....Except for the one guy in the Tool Room...I wouldn't p!ss on you if you were on fire, I'd grab the marshmallows!
Carrie0
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