Dear Co-Worker

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13

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  • ScottyNoHotty
    ScottyNoHotty Posts: 1,955 Member
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    Dear Owners entitled son,
    Quit coming in my office and farting. Also, no body cares about how you got drunk in Vegas last week.

    Sincerely,
    F.U.
  • dmf80
    dmf80 Posts: 60
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    Dear Co-Workers,

    You all have been extremely helpful in bringing me up to speed in the short 2.5 months I have been here. Thank you!

    And...you smell, you're rude, no one likes you, blah blah blah.
  • LoriBarefoot
    LoriBarefoot Posts: 218 Member
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    Dear Co-workerS,

    You cannot teach old dogs new tricks. Menopause brain has set in. I know you can't help it and yes it will happen to me one day, but please.. throw in the towel. Go home. You are spent.
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
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    Dear co -worker,

    Yes you must clean your room and quit fighting with your brother.

    Love,

    Mom

    ( I work from home )

    :laugh:
  • L00py_T0ucan
    L00py_T0ucan Posts: 1,378 Member
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    Dear Co-Worker,

    When my eyes begin glazing over after listening to you yammer on about a phone call that you took or a life's event that I never asked you about, please shut-up and leave my office.

    I have pretend people on mfp to attend to. :laugh:

    Sincerely,

    Don't you ever need to take a breath?????? :noway:

    @shannon023 - i prefer 'mythical' to pretend, mmmmkay?
  • MissTattoo
    MissTattoo Posts: 1,203 Member
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    Dear Co-worker,
    You know that bribe you took from a client and the fake expense report you asked me to co-sign?
    I told the ethics committee.

    Good luck with that!
    BB

    Snap!
  • live2dream
    live2dream Posts: 614 Member
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    Dear Co-Worker,

    You are so hot, I get hot just thinking about you. I'd like to clear off your desk with one arm and ... Or meet me in the empty stairwell for a quick 10-minute 'break'.

    Sincerely,
    your coworker wife
  • Sonnie124
    Sonnie124 Posts: 99
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    Dear CoWorkers,

    It is not necessary to cc: everyone to point out an error. I do not throw you under the bus, do not throw me under it. It is also not necessary to change the structure of invoices every month (without telling me) and copying everyone to let them know I used the wrong format "again".

    F.U.K.P.A.M.L.
  • Wonderwoman2677
    Wonderwoman2677 Posts: 434 Member
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    Dear co-worker (who I secretly want to be like when I grow up),

    Thank you for offering me an apple just now(I was on my way to buy a candy bar), and never making me feel horrible for being the shape I am in or judging me, even though you ride your bike 20 miles a day to work.

    You ROCK!
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
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    Dear Co-Worker,

    You are so hot, I get hot just thinking about you. I'd like to clear off your desk with one arm and ... Or meet me in the empty stairwell for a quick 10-minute 'break'.

    Sincerely,
    your coworker wife


    hell yeah, I'd get squat done if I worked with my man...there would be a lot of "on the desk" fun
  • sportyredhead01
    sportyredhead01 Posts: 482 Member
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    Dear Co-Worker,

    I know that you enjoy your smoke breaks but I for one don't enjoy the second hand smoke wafting into the building while you crack the door.
    Could you walk like seven steps and close the damn door?
    I'm pretty certain THAT won't kill you but those cancer sticks you're sucking on could have a roll in your demise. Also you smell like spent cat litter and cigarette smoke so please stay away from my desk area because your aroma makes me gag.

    And to my other co-worker, you're a pretentious twit who thinks you're better than everyone even though you don't have a clue of how to do half the jobs in this dept...when I know them all. Sorry, I can't respect you because you have made it known that you feel my position is "below your level of expertise". Also you have the worst perpetual PMS I have ever come across in my life. What makes it more ironic is that you're a dude.

    No hard feelings but if I ever get out of this place, I hope we never cross paths again.

    Hugs. :P
  • LoriBarefoot
    LoriBarefoot Posts: 218 Member
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    Dear co-worker (who I secretly want to be like when I grow up),

    Thank you for offering me an apple just now(I was on my way to buy a candy bar), and never making me feel horrible for being the shape I am in or judging me, even though you ride your bike 20 miles a day to work.

    You ROCK!

    What a great co-worker. Lucky!
  • Pollywog39
    Pollywog39 Posts: 1,730 Member
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    Dear Co-Worker:

    I have known you for about 15 years.............I have stood by you when you had a tumor near your brain, when you suffered with all sorts of maladies, even when you attempted suicide. I have watched you become a different person, but have still done my best to support you through thick and thin, because I knew that really GOOD person years ago, and I liked her.

    So, next time I tell you something in confidence about a meeting with our Dept head, and you THROW me under the bus to our supervisor, you might consider that I"m probably your last friend, and that wasn't a very smart thing to do. And when you pretend that you just don't CARE if we're friends anymore, well, we aren't.

    You burned a bridge that can most probably never be repaired, as I'll never trust you again. So, when you begin to suffer with your PRETEND maladies and MADE UP bulls!!t hypochondriac-infused illnesses, do not expect any sympathy from me. You're dead to me.

    Your Former Friend
  • mrmanmeat
    mrmanmeat Posts: 1,968 Member
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    Dear Co-Worker,

    Your an @ss hole. No one likes you here. Your in your late 50's. You are alone, you will be alone for ever because you think your right and perfect. But in reality your not. If you were a little nicer and didn't come down the stairs and say "Whats up Bi&^h" Maybe I would be a little nicer to you. Oh and another thing, yelling at your computer because your ignorant doesn't fix anything.


    Sincerely,

    The receptionist

    You're.

    Oh the irony.
  • suziblues2000
    suziblues2000 Posts: 515 Member
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    Dear Co-Worker,

    Your an @ss hole. No one likes you here. Your in your late 50's. You are alone, you will be alone for ever because you think your right and perfect. But in reality your not. If you were a little nicer and didn't come down the stairs and say "Whats up Bi&^h" Maybe I would be a little nicer to you. Oh and another thing, yelling at your computer because your ignorant doesn't fix anything.


    Sincerely,

    The receptionist

    You're.

    Oh the irony.


    LmaO!
  • Muddy_Yogi
    Muddy_Yogi Posts: 1,459 Member
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    Dear Co-worker,
    You do NOT have a sexy voice...no matter how many time you ask me if I think your ex smoker, old lady voice is sexy, the answer will always be **** no! You are not attractive in the least bit, you drive me crazy showing off the new clothes you bought that you think make you look very thin....the only thing thin is the hair on the top of your head! Would you please stop acting like the world revolves around you and that everything you have, everything you do and everyone you know are the BEST THINGS SINCE SLICED bread! Somedays if I could pop you one right in the nose I would....and if I ever win the lotto...better count on it!

    Sincerely,

    Your totally annoyed younger co-worker

    PS don't call me a ****ing kid ever again!
  • Pollywog39
    Pollywog39 Posts: 1,730 Member
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    Dear Co-worker,
    You do NOT have a sexy voice...no matter how many time you ask me if I think your ex smoker, old lady voice is sexy, the answer will always be **** no! You are not attractive in the least bit, you drive me crazy showing off the new clothes you bought that you think make you look very thin....the only thing thin is the hair on the top of your head! Would you please stop acting like the world revolves around you and that everything you have, everything you do and everyone you know are the BEST THINGS SINCE SLICED bread! Somedays if I could pop you one right in the nose I would....and if I ever win the lotto...better count on it!

    Sincerely,

    Your totally annoyed younger co-worker

    PS don't call me a ****ing kid ever again!

    Hey there, MinnyGirl! How 'bout them Vikings, huh?

    lol............dang, I hope that the young kids around my office don't think this way about me! I'm one of the OLD broads around here!!! yikes!

    But, I"m not as old as the gal who TALKs TO HERSELF, all day, every day.........at the copier, at the coffee area, at her desk, in the BATHROOM, for heaven's sake!

    lol.
  • mississippi_queen
    mississippi_queen Posts: 483 Member
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    Also please do not speak to me within the first hour of my arrival to work as I am not a morning person and it is hard for me to control my rage during this time. Please keep comments to yourself during this time, this includes good morning. One day I might just say shove your good morning up your *kitten*, and you would think that I was rude.

    That's because it is rude.

    But see you missed the point. I'm being nice by not talking to you first thing in the am. I could care less if you think im rude or not. :grumble:
  • ladynica
    ladynica Posts: 329 Member
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    Dear Co Worker,

    You are not qualified to do your job. I'm not what you put on your resume to impress the powers that be, but I'm hip to your foolishness. I am often burdened with having management ask me to correct your mistakes, but unfortunately, it was managements decision to bring you on in a permanent position despite them watching you make these same types of mistakes during you trial period.

    Also, stop coming to my desk and asking me if there is more work that you can do, when I'm clear that if I give you work, you will find some major way to do it wrong and I will have to do it correctly anyway. There's no sense in two of us working now is there? *sigh*

    Signed,
    you're lucky i'm not your supervisor
  • cabaray
    cabaray Posts: 971 Member
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    Dear Coworkers,
    Some of you I like, some of you annoy me and I'd rather avoid, a couple of you are great friends inside and outside of the office. I have worked here half of my life and most of you are like family, some of you like the family I avoid, but family all the same.
    ....Except for the one guy in the Tool Room...I wouldn't p!ss on you if you were on fire, I'd grab the marshmallows!
    Carrie

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