Partners,boyfriends,girlfriends etc.
babyblake11
Posts: 1,107 Member
in Chit-Chat
To those who have them. Do you find yourself wishinh you had someone who was as dedicated as you. I am a nutrition freak, gym junkie and my partner goes to the gym every so often and eats well at home but less so when he is out. But its almost a turn off that he doesnt respect himself enough to eat really well, sleep enough, workout. I know it sounds like I need to get off my high horse but I am quite confident and have been for the last year or more that ive been doing this for. I have so many goals and I know I will reach them, he doesnt. I find dedication, taking care of yourself and having goals very very sexy.. And he doesnt do these things
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Replies
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I am single, but I dont think I could become interested in someone who wasnt as dedicated as myself as it is just so important to me. It goes beyond looking good, its a matter of being healthy and living a long life.
But then again you need to love him for him0 -
I got lucky, my fiance works out 6 days a week, eats healthy (except when we go out for cheat meals). He actually got me into lifting. I can't really say if he wasn't into it, I'd leave him, because for 6 or the 7 years we've been together, I was the one who wasn't into it, I was over weight, and not healthy at all.0
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This is a really sensitive issue around our house right now. Before my wife was pregnant with our now two and a half year old we had lost 80 lbs between the two of us and were really starting to look great, feel great, travel, Scuba Dive, of course have a whole lot more intimate fun, hence the two and half year old, lol.
However, once she had to stop our very strict diet because she was pregnant it was very hard for me to do on my own. Found MFP a little while afterwards and have been on a roller coaster since. I am back to being as serious as I have been since that time because now i know I can do it, but it would be so much easier if she was as serious as I am. She is now heavier than we when we ever started before and depressed constantly because of it, and that just makes it that much harder for her to start.
I think now that I have been serious now for a little more than a couple of weeks she is starting to want to get more serious because I think one of loosing causes insecurities but both of us loosing would not have to deal with that, but I have to do something, have a check up on July 17 and doctor said if I lost at least 10% of my body weight by then then I would likely not need meds and reverse some blood chemistry issues that are starting to show up like high triglycerides and cholesterol. I would almost prefer someone mean about it and not allowing poor food in the house period, because it is much more of a struggle to have bad food around and the will power to keep from it.
Hoping my new attitude helps to change this.0 -
Its not that I dont love him for him.. But sometimes I wish he was ... Like me! And my frIiends. Im attracted to guys if they have the dedication regardless of what they look like. Even if he was ripped as hell ,if hes not that dedicated its not that attractive0
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Its not that I dont love him for him.. But sometimes I wish he was ... Like me! And my frIiends. Im attracted to guys if they have the dedication regardless of what they look like. Even if he was ripped as hell ,if hes not that dedicated its not that attractive
Fortunately you don't get ripped as hell without being dedicated :laugh:0 -
I read your profile and since your only 18 years old why would get seriously involved with a person at your age?
There is plenty of time to get involved in a serious relationship but in the meantime enjoy life and focus on yourself.
Top0 -
Patience. I thought I was married to a guy that wasn't budging on getting healthy. He watched me for 9 months and I was starting to change. More out going, stronger, I will even say I'm starting to attract looks from other guys.
He watched.. then one day he came in and announced he was joining the gym, but i'd have to train him.. he wasn't paying for a personal trainer.
Keep in mind, my guys smokes a pack a day, never drinks water, only eats one meal a day and has a pepsi in his hand 100% of the time.
He's joined the gym, worked out with me once and was then convinced that a personal trainer would be easier than me training him. He drinks one bottle (32 oz) of water a day and now eats 3 meals a day. He's not interested in losing weight. When asked by the trainer why he wanted to join he said "because she wants man boobs". I guess he does listen to me when I'm looking at all the men's chests. It also helped when I'd bring my very well built trainer with us to events
. whatever works right??
Be patient. Stay focused. This is about you and only you can make that change.0 -
My husband has been very supportive of me...he walks with me every day that we can get out and walk....he cooks for us when i do my workouts at home and cleans the dishes when i shower....he still eats what he wants when i am at work or when he is at work (they cook and eat alot of fried foods and stuff at work). I work 12 hour days so this really helps me have the time to walk and workout. He helps me pick out my workout videos and workout gadgets (last night a heartrate monitor, jumprope and a kettlebell set with 6 DVD's)....he has to work out at his work (he's a firefighter) every 3rd day. Funny thing is he is losing weight ....and mine is barely moving (he does eat pizza, reeses and popcorn alot.....not to mention beer). We went from cooking alot of fried foods and eating out several times a week...often 2x in one day to trying to cook more veggies and not frying. I don't think i could have stuck with it this long (about 5 weeks now) without his support.
San 0 -
I read your profile and since your only 18 years old why would get seriously involved with a person at your age?
There is plenty of time to get involved in a serious relationship but in the meantime enjoy life and focus on yourself.
Top
We have been together for 2.5 years and half a one year old daughter. We have lived together for most of that time also haha0 -
My husband has been very supportive of me...he walks with me every day that we can get out and walk....he cooks for us when i do my workouts at home and cleans the dishes when i shower....he still eats what he wants when i am at work or when he is at work (they cook and eat alot of fried foods and stuff at work). I work 12 hour days so this really helps me have the time to walk and workout. He helps me pick out my workout videos and workout gadgets (last night a heartrate monitor, jumprope and a kettlebell set with 6 DVD's)....he has to work out at his work (he's a firefighter) every 3rd day. Funny thing is he is losing weight ....and mine is barely moving (he does eat pizza, reeses and popcorn alot.....not to mention beer). We went from cooking alot of fried foods and eating out several times a week...often 2x in one day to trying to cook more veggies and not frying. I don't think i could have stuck with it this long (about 5 weeks now) without his support.
San
It's wonderful that your husband is so supportive! You are very lucky and I think it's great that you recognize and appreciate what he is doing for you. Could I borrow him? Lol.0 -
This is exactly why I am still single.
I wanna find a dedicated Christian, health nut... yes I hold my expectations high only way to hold them
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I read your profile and since your only 18 years old why would get seriously involved with a person at your age?
There is plenty of time to get involved in a serious relationship but in the meantime enjoy life and focus on yourself.
Top
We have been together for 2.5 years and half a one year old daughter. We have lived together for most of that time also haha
what did you do with the other half of your daughter? sorry, couldn't resist!
my boyfriend and i are both dedicated to getting decent nutrition and push ourselves in the gym to get results. he supports my goals and helps me with lifting heavy. he was on it long before i was, he's definitely the reason why i have come love this lifestyle so much
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From theresak331-It's wonderful that your husband is so supportive! You are very lucky and I think it's great that you recognize and appreciate what he is doing for you. Could I borrow him? Lol.
Thanks, I am lucky that he has stuck with me for the past 24 years....i am not quite done with him yet, lol...we are looking forward to wheelchair races in our 80's
San 0 -
I actually became obese because of my now fiance's lifestyle, back when we were just best friends. I don't blame him - I was a fat person waiting to happen.
Now, I'm focused on my health. I'm glad I became fat. I wasn't healthy before, and only when I gained weight and then decided to lose it did I go through the process of learning what health really is.
My fiance is still the same as ever. Morbidly obese, and averse to healthy eating and exercise. I love him all the same, but since we got engaged I've been more aware of the fact that marrying him is probably committing to being a widow at a young age. That's a sacrifice I have to make, and ultimately I just want his happiness, but I do consider myself very lucky.
Despite not having an interest in health, he's very supportive of me. He cooks all my meals, weighs things out, don't complain when I ask for modifications, and does all the chores and housework so I can find time to work out. I couldn't ask for better, even if I DO want him for longer. I'm just making sure I savour our time now.0 -
I have been with my husband exactly 14 years today. He is as fit and dedicated as me, if not more. One of the reasons I do try to stay so fit is to look good for him, not that he would not love me if I was not, but I want him to be as hot for me as I am him.
I would have a hard time being with someone that was lazy and did not have enough respect or love for themselves to want to be healthy to live a long and happy life with me. It is not just about the way we look on the outside, but what is going on with in our bodies that count the most to me. I wanna look over at him when I am 75................ on a para sail............over the ocean in Mexico. 0 -
It used to bother me that my boyfriend was a lazy butt but once we started having serious problems in our relationship, I realized that was the least of my worries. That stuff we could work thru and compromise on. Other things you cant.0
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My girlfriend is very supportive when it comes to words - she encourages me all the time and says how great I look when we see each other (we live over 100 miles apart, so only see each other twice a month or so atm).
However, when we first got together, we both put on weight; she's a snacker and I'm a 3 meals a day person, but we both took on each other's habits and ended up snacking and eating the 3 meals a day.
Since she's moved away, that's become easier, but whenever we see each other she likes to treat us to lots of yummy restaurant food etc and it's hard to resist, even when I know it's not good for me....
I guess I need to work on my self restraint!0 -
I have been with my husband exactly 14 years today. He is as fit and dedicated as me, if not more. One of the reasons I do try to stay so fit is to look good for him, not that he would not love me if I was not, but I want him to be as hot for me as I am him.
I would have a hard time being with someone that was lazy and did not have enough respect or love for themselves to want to be healthy to live a long and happy life with me. It is not just about the way we look on the outside, but what is going on with in our bodies that count the most to me. I wanna look over at him when I am 75................ on a para sail............over the ocean in Mexico.
Awww! So sweet... Happy anniversary to you both!0 -
Been single for a while so it doesn't matter to me. Before I was engaged to a type 1 Brittle diabetic so we had to watch what we ate so he didn't literally drop dead on me. It made nutrition essential . Don't know if I could do it any other way.0
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It bothers me that my boyfriend doesn't take good care of himself. He eats like crap. My concern is only for his health. He has health issues and takes a certain drug that is also pretty bad for you... needless to say, I don't think he has quite the same life expectancy as me. The thought of him leaving me at a somewhat young age makes me sad and angry and even more so because he doesn't seem to care by the way he treats his body.0
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My partner eats whatever he likes, he's one of these 6'4" skinny guys that eats 3 times the amount I do and doesn't gain weight (lucky him!). It's hard for me when the temptations are there such as takeaway and chocolate, but as long as I keep my will power strong and don't let him convince me its okay to just have it this one time, followed by the same thing the next week, then I will be good.
He doesn't really exercise, he's a very busy training to be a teacher and when he has free time spends it on his Xbox. This is also something that doesn't help me in that when I have spare time I tend to play on my Xbox as well, I guess I need to get into the habit of exercising instead, even if its through some dancing game for the Xbox (2 birds, 1 stone?).
He tries to support me and says that its my body and I can do what I want with it, and he tells me he likes me how I am. Apparently my jiggly belly is entertaining. He does however like to tease me with food!0 -
Thats why I left my ex. She was bringing me down.
You have to surround yourself with people who will better you!0 -
Thats why I left my ex. She was bringing me down.
You have to surround yourself with people who will better you!
Off topic but bloody hell at the progress you've made! Well done Sir.0 -
My other half eats like a horse, generally his meals are reasonably healthy, but he really loves cake. I don't find this bothers me at all. He maintains a good shape and is well toned as he swims alot and he has a physical job. If he ate the way he does and did no activity or excercise I would probably be bothered more.
He also is really good with me, as I fluctuate between binging and not eating at all. He really encourages me to eat when I am not in a food mood and cooks good healthy food for me - but he never, ever even on a good day teases my with anything that could flip me straight into a bad day.0 -
Thats why I left my ex. She was bringing me down.
You have to surround yourself with people who will better you!
Off topic but bloody hell at the progress you've made! Well done Sir.
thanks doc!0 -
You know, I don't project my perspective or world view on anyone. I am who I am and they are who they are. We all get to our own realizations in our own way and in our own times. God, if someone had thought poorly of me when I couldn't exercise, I would have felt awful.
Besides, in relationships there is always something we can allow to bother us. I live my life by the motto that what I do speaks volumes to those around me. If they see me improving my life and getting better, eventually they get excited and do the same. Maybe not at the same level of dedication or in the same manner, but that's okay.
And if they never do, that's okay too. Because their life is there's to do and decide.
I love them because of who they are not what they are doing .. per se.
But that's just me. :-)0 -
Actually the system my husband and I have is working well. We've tried to lose weight together but it never worked well because we have different stamina for different things. So we kind of went our own way a little bit. But we still walk together probably 4-5 nights a week. We are also enjoying trying new foods that I've found out about on MFP. He's not on MFP and I know it wouldn't work well for him because he's so forgetful. So we're both trying to lose weight but doing it our own way than overlaps sometimes. I tend to get a better workout alone anyway. I push myself more and I don't feel like I'm being stared at lol0
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The person from my last LTR was not as dedicated as I was... even back then... a year ago when I was just breaking 300 lbs. and he was ex-military, former running freak and in a decent BMI range for his height. He had a bicycle that I never saw him ride, he bought really expensive running shoes and would make a 1 day effort to put them to use when I would inquire about them, he reluctantly did my first 5k with me but it was like pulling teeth. I sometimes had to beg him to just walk around the block with me. He was so lazy! He had p90x, but wouldn't start it with me (FYI: I started it one week to the day that he dumped me and finished it in October of last year - take that EX/BF!) Hell, I even got my big booty outside and mowed his lawn - front & back - in June & July in southeast Texas... it's frappin hot here that time of year. I dunno. It was really a pain hearing him say, "Well, of course you can do it...." then just sit there and watch me exercise. It was awkward. It didn't feel like support. Say one thing and do another. Do Not Like.0
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My fiancee is always very supportive of me and is really into living a healthy, active lifestyle. It's being with him that jump started my weight loss and healthier lifestyle. His whole family is really into living healthy and actively. His father was a pro-boxer, his sister is becoming a physical therapist/personal trainer. Without him (or our daughter), I don't think I'd be as motivated to make myself just as healthy as I want. He is my rock.0
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Boyfriend is always incredibly supportive, and pushes me during exercises. He's trying to get back into shape form the years he spent doing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and has taught me how to politely decline offers of food I normally would have taken for fear of being rude. He doesn't work as much as I do since I am home everyday and he tends to eat worse foods then I do, but he knows this is his weakness and is working on it. He doesn't try to put me off track, or force feed me anything, and he's proud of the work I am doing. I think he's just stuck in his own rut of fast food and the like.0
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