Quitting because of stress

zyxst

What's holding back my weight loss? All these freaking numbers and the advice that goes with them.

Don't eat below your BMR.
- Hey, which one of the 6 equations is correct? The 1293, 1866 or 2331? You tell me they aren't accurate, yet insist I should eat that amount of calories. Well, if I knew which one was the right one, I just might give it a go.

Eat your TDEE - 15/20%.
-Again, which calculation do I follow and what *is* my activity level?

Why are you having such trouble eating 2200 cals? You did it before.
- If I could eat all the crap I ate before, then 2200 is no problem. Shifting out the Reese's and Twix for nuts and fresh veggies doesn't equal a balance in calories.

Ignore the scale. It's just a number.
- Uh huh. So why ignore that number in favor of other numbers, like measurements? I have photos, measurements and scale to show my progress from the beginning. The scale keeps me in check on a daily basis.

Well, I'm stressing over too many numbers and too much advice. It's causing a lot of problems, the least of which is my bleeding after walking 2 miles. Yes, every time I walk 2 miles, I come home to bloody underwear. More than you wanted to read, I'm sure.

I wish I could go back to before I knew about MFP, BMR, TDEE, etc., but I can't. I worry about whether I'll net my supposed BMR and my sodium going over 2500 and how to balance calories without red-numbering everything else and will I puke if I eat any more.

My last effort will be what my doctor recommends. I want to talk this out with a nutritionist or whatever the job title is for someone who can tell me all those magic numbers and how to balance them. I'm sad that I'm doing so poorly. I won't hit the GW for this year and sure as hell not the GW for next year. So much for being able to buy clothes off the rack. *sigh*

And, no, I'm not whining to get people to pity post here. Motivation and Support seemed the best place for this and maybe someone else can see they aren't the only one in this situation.

rcates2424

Use what\ever makes you feel and look better. Make yourself happy first!

Robin_Bin

Good luck!

You know you could just use the default counts and recommendations of MFP instead of worrying about re-calculating it all yourself?

I hope you find something that works for you. Feeling fit and healthy reduces one source of stress.

P.S. Loosing 46 pounds is great! Sounds like something is working, even if it's slower than you want. Congratulations!

cmriverside

You've lost 46 pounds. WIN!!!


Just pick a Goal, use this site as it is set up - (without coming to the forums - you'll definitely get overwhelmed with conflicting advice if you ask any group of people.)

It will work. Choose the Activity Level that is most honest for you. Try eating the exercise calories.

In one month reevaluate.

You need to be patient, your body won't turn on a dime. A lot of this is trial and error, and making small changes, then witing for a month to see how they work. We all have to navigate this, and you can too!!

ladybug1620

I'm confused. Bloody underwear?? You need to see a doctor asap, I doubt the stress of figuring out calories is causing that.

Eat less, move more. You'll lose weight. Don't let it be so confusing.

UrbanRunner81

don't over think it.

honestly you could just eat over your BMR by 200 a day (your net) to simplify it. Just make sure to eat your exercise calories. Eat good balance of food.
Pick healthy fats for more calories, nuts, seeds, or some cheese or greek yogurt. It doesn't have to be hard.

FungusTrooper

If you're confused or stressed out by all those numbers, don't use them. I just use MFP's basic calculations and I'm losing weight. If you have a lot of weight to lose, just eating fewer calories than you burn day to day will make you lose weight - which following MFP's guidelines will do.

AthenaErr

See your doctor about the bleeding, use the default settings on MPF and reeelax. You've lost 46 pounds thats great - everything else you will figure as you go. There's nothing to be stressing over just slow slow chipping away.

echoica

No offense but it sounds like you are looking for reasons to quit rather than reasons to keep going. You can't tell me that you haven't had positive exprriences from what you have lost so far. Stay strong!

dolldreams

Please don't ever give up! If you feel like seeing a nutritionist, than do but never, ever give up on yourself. You are worth the time and even the stress it takes to figure this all out.

And you definitely should make an appointment with your gyn if you haven't already. The bleeding could be a thousand different things. For me it's hormonal and related to weight gain. I've had sporadic spotting since hitting my highest weight and understand how frustrating it is. Start wearing panty liners and you will be able to at least have your confidence back when working out. I also use progesterone cream and that seems to help a ton.

I'm here everyday if you need someone to talk to. You can pm me whenever.:flowerforyou:

hoppinfroggin22

First of all breathe!!! Life is too short to be stressing about calories!! However If I were you I would seek medical advice for the bleeding problem for that is not normal. Congrats on losing 46 pounds already I hope that you dont give up because of a bunch of numbers...Just do what you feel is best for your body!! Good luck!

Meg_78

Look there is sooooo much conflicting advice on here and way too many "experts"!!"!, You are going to get a heap more advice now, but here is my 5 cents!

Pick something that you are comfortable with and stick to it. Best advice, keep it simple. Put your MFP settings on what you think they should be for your activity rate, set you losing goal, and eat those calories. when you exercise eat back some or all of your calories to keep close to net (or not, though I recommended that you do)

You will likely see results fastest if you are consistent with what ever you choose. And if walking that far makes you bleed, maybe you need to find another form of exercise, cause that just doesn't sound right.

tmm01

great loss so far. You're doing great. I don't bother about BMR /TDEE etc. The only no. I concentrate on is the calories. I try to keep to my 1200 per day. (give or take a few) and try to get in some exercise.
Stress will not help weight loss. It has to be manageable. Keep going, don't lose the focus on your goal.
I use MFP as a food diary and to keep check of cals. that's all. Sometimes I look at BMI / BMR etc, but I don't get bothered by them.

keep going. You can do this.

saturnine15

Talk to your doctor. The doctor might be able to give you concrete numbers that you can trust. He/she may also suggest some sort of exercise routine.

One thing that I will say is this: you have lost 46 pounds. Thats a great number. Do not give up, or you will be in the same boat again if you don't continue to work at it. The hardest part of weight loss isn't forgoing a treat or doing an exercise- its knowing that you have to stick with it through the hard times. You just happen to be at a difficult point in the process. (I am not belittling what you are going through, but I am saying that you should not let it beat you.) That is the difference between those who succeed and those who do not.

Stay strong

ranrobinrn

Okay Im actually a little worried about this bleeding!!! You dont need to go into detail but maybe try a different exercise that doesn't cause you physical harm. You'll get a little more positive feedback after your exercise. You'll feel like a bad *kitten* and you'll be unharmed! ha ha. Oh and yeah screw those numbers. Go back to why you are losing weight...want to buy close off the rack right? And why do you want to buy clothes off the rack? Because it makes you feel good about yourself right? Well eating balanced diet and exercising will make you feel good. Set some short term goals. These year ones are hard to reach and take to long. As americans we want things and we want it now. Try to set some short term goals along with the long term. The nutritionist and MD sounds like a great idea.

autumnk921

DON'T GIVE UP!!!

Believe me...I am losing weight at a snail's pace...2lbs per month for 5mths...UGH!! I have been sooooo confused by all of the conflicting advice on here & still am not sure what is right for me but at least I know I am eating healthier & even though it is SLOW going - the scale is going DOWN!!! I would love to have lost as much weight as you - Alot of people on here would too...

If you don't know your activity level - That is hard for me as well b/c it just depends on the day - if I feel like doing anything or not - So just put it as Sedentary & if you exercise or whatever then put that in & eat those calories if you are hungry...If you are NOT hungry...DON'T....This is what I do....Not sure if it is the perfect way or not but it is the simplest way for me....DON'T use another site to calculate b/c they are ALL going to say different things....Use MFP's calculations for you for sedentary & don't let the other sites confuse you with all of the numbers....

Keep it SIMPLE....This is what I HAD to do b/c I was stressing over ALL of the conflicting things going around....It is only as CONFUSING as you LET IT BE....Like I said before....Keep it SIMPLE....Don't look for answers on the forums b/c you will only get confused more....Do the simple thing like I do above & as long as the weight is going down or the inches are going down....Then you are doing something right & going in the right direction!! That is why I have stuck it out b/c as long as I am losing something I know that I CAN DO THIS!! And YOU CAN DO THIS TOO!!! I truly hope this helps b/c I have been right there with you & I truly understand the frustration you must be feeling.....:flowerforyou:

neverstray

Yeah. Drives you mad, eh? What you are doing is reading all this stuff here, and each of us have an opinion that differs from someone else. That's OK. That means that we are all doing something slightly different.

You have to shut out the noise and follow something you know is working. A great start is to simply use MFP for what it is. Screw what everyone is saying. That's advanced stuff for later. But, for now, use the defaults MFP provides and monitor your progress. If it's working, leave it alone. If something happens and you hit a plateau, which you probably will at some point, then try adjusting something. Maybe switch up your macro nutrients. Maybe increase your activity. Maybe try increasing or decreasing your calories. It's a slow process and you just have to try different things. Just be sure that you change only one small thing at a time so you cna monitor it and see if it works or not.

Ke22yB

I started out being very heavy and this took me a long time I will be completing year four in 17 days May 22 is my life change anniversary
I dont worry to much about all the different numbers my scale tells me my BMR it matches MFPs pretty closely I subtract between 3500 and 7000 per pound for the week and then figure what my daily deficit will be right now for me its 2450 for the day minus 750 for 1.5 pounds a week so I shoot for 1700 a day
As far as the bleeding I had alot of problems in the beginning since I was very big and had alot of chafing and when I was sweaty bleeding as I got smaller it all got better and now no real problems
Talking to a nutritionist is a good idea and will help you get a grasp on what your numbers and what foods are good for you .
Dont get discouraged and believe me this is a lifestyle and nothing is absolute you do the best you can I have had weeks I have been perfect had water retention and gained 4 pounds no alot whan you are over 300 and weeks where I cheated like crazy and lost 2 pounds go figure
congrats on the 46 pounds and goals are made to be changed

jpinge

You've lost 46 pounds. WIN!!!


Just pick a Goal, use this site as it is set up - (without coming to the forums - you'll definitely get overwhelmed with conflicting advice if you ask any group of people.)

It will work. Choose the Activity Level that is most honest for you. Try eating the exercise calories.

In one month reevaluate.

You need to be patient, your body won't turn on a dime. A lot of this is trial and error, and making small changes, then witing for a month to see how they work. We all have to navigate this, and you can too!!

This.....there is so much crap out there every single day about what to use for your numbers what to do what to eat what not to do....just do what is right for you. My husband and I started here in January. We ignorantly (and thankfully so) used the site as it was set up to be used. We have both continued to lose weight....sometimes slowly...really slowly:) and sometimes quicker. I stayed away from the forums in the beginning because I really didn't even pay attention to the fact that they were there. I was doing this for me as a way to actually journal my food and keep track of my exercise. Lately I have been looking through the forum....I will admit most of the time I am amused by it all. Frustrated and angry too when people are mean and rude. But in any given day there is so much conflicting advice from people. What works for them may not work for you. And in no way should that be distressing to you. Try the calorie in calorie out thing....see how it goes....don't worry about any number but what your intake should be for the day (and let MFP calculate that for you:) Relax....stress causes weight gain too.

As far as your bleeding...yep you need to see your doctor....lots of different things could be going on there and I am sure that they can all be addressed and you will do fine. But it does need to be checked out. and I am happy to see that you are going in.

Seriously, if I tried to do all of the advice that is given here by people....I would be at my wits end and getting nowhere. Right now....although things may at times feel like they are going too slowly....I know that what I am doing is working. I feel better than I have ever felt in my life and the pounds are gone and staying gone.

Don't stress, don't think you have to listen to everybody on here.,..use the site like it was meant to be used with their setups and see what happens but most of all don't give up....just give it time.

Good luck!!

Debbe2

Seems to me that 46 lbs is a great loss! I can understand you asking a Nutritionist for help, advice and clarification but not understanding you saying that you may quit when you are seeing success.

Good luck!

tabulator32

You're a grown woman.

You know how to eat healthy food without worrying about numbers.

Do what you need to do to be happy and healthy.

And you may want to consider seeing a doctor about that little blood issue.

Seriously.

kazza2cats

If you are loosing on the calories you have been set then stick with it. If not maybe up date your settings as they change as you loose weight. You've lost 46 pounds which is amazing!!!

JenAiMarres

Your loss so far is amazing!

Congrats!!

That being said I understand the confusion..I weigh more than ever being here...but I also look better and have way more definition and tone going on.

I will not say the scale doesn't get the best of me b/c it does. I haven't been out of the 120s for almost a decade..but can't break back into them for the last few months.

Do what feels right. Only u know what's working and what's not.

Quiting is such a strong word...only quitters quit. Someone who has lost 47 lbs is not a quiter!!

Take a break...mfp will be here when u are ready.

iwantahealthierme13

Stay away from the forums and just eat when you're hungry but eat good choices of foods.

I don't even know what BMR or TDEE really is. I just follow the macros the site gave me and don't eat back all my exercise cals, I only eat them if I'm still hungry. I'm still losing weight.

MonicaT1972

Just do what works for you and stick with it. It's just like exercise if you hate running but you make yourself do it you'll never stick with it and have long term success.

I don't worry about any of the new fancy science stuff that's out there. I eat 1200 calories, I exercies and I lose so it's working plain and simple!!!

Newf77

****About to be blunt, and thusly will come across harsh*****
You have spent some time watching Biggest Loser and believe that someone can lose 100 lbs in three months right? Here is a spoiler alert, they are not doing it in three months and their diets are very closely monitored by a Dietitian and Physician. They are also doing physical activity in excess of six hours a day.
You have been on the website since March 2012, we will call it two months. You did not get to the point of an unhealthy lifestyle in two months; you are not going to reverse and become healthy in two months.
You have two choices and only you can make the choices, either toss in the towel and call it quits or pick that dang towel up and wipe the sweat from face and move on.
Set realistic goal; the only thing that is consistent from person to person who are on this journey is move and eat right. What is eating right, you gotta find that answer for yourself. Is it a Paleo; Atkins; Twix diet, that would be yours to discover.
Move more, if you are having issues walking {and I am only making a factually guess} maybe you need to find an exercise that keeps your legs from rubbing together {swimming, shorter walks; Yoga; stepping} or a different type of work-out attire.
Everyone is different and there are a lot of different plans that work for different people. You are heading in the right direction by consulting trained personnel {Nutritionist and Physician} but in the end the work is yours alone.
Good luck on whatever you decide to do.

agriffitts85

dont give up you have lost weight and that in itself is awesome. as for the bleeding issue id get to a dr that sounds like a seperate issue all in its self. i personally use the sight just to keep track of the types of things i eat not how much nothing like that, i eat if im hungry, and dont eat if im not hungry. i take my supplements, and drink plenty of fluids all day long. i have only lost 12lbs in a month i wish i would have been more but hey a loss is a loss, and its still a step in the right direction in the right direction to getting healthy again for me....

keep your head up you can do it, people words are just that WORDS... you need to do what feels right for you. it is a new month start over take it day by day, eat what you like, trying to keep it balanced, and smaller portions. and just remember to keep fluids in you. and move as much as you can how ever you can any kind of movement you can even for 5 minute incraments is still movement and an effort, put this journey into your time... and take it slow you can do this...... add me if you would like i will support you if you would like a supportive voice that is non judgemental....

optbal12

Hi there,

First and foremost: YOU HAVE LOST 46lbs Well done you

I know what you mean about confusion. I started off 'full of the joys of spring' and then got bogged down with TDEE numbers etc....and the amount I should/should not be eating.

What I decided to do, having researched here and WW, was to try and stick my MFP allocated calories of 1200 (to lose 1.5llbs per week...using the flexibility of eating back exercise calories if I feel hungry). I also decided to have a 'weekly bank' of calories (based on MFP calculations to lose 1 lb per week) in case I go over. That gives me a great sense of reassurance and flexibility so that I don't 'obsess' over every calorie! So basically I can eat 1200-1440 per day and if I have a 'bad' day it's all ok. BUT knowing that I CAN go over makes in less likely that I will...if that makes sense. Basically I know that if I stick to 1200 I can lose 1.5 per week. If I eat 1440 I can lose 1 lb per week both of which are good ...and if I go WAY over 1 day its not the end of the world

You obviously have had great success so maybe keep doing what you are doing

NoAdditives

See your doctor about the bleeding, use the default settings on MPF and reeelax. You've lost 46 pounds thats great - everything else you will figure as you go. There's nothing to be stressing over just slow slow chipping away.

^^This.

Drastiic

No offense but it sounds like you are looking for reasons to quit rather than reasons to keep going. You can't tell me that you haven't had positive exprriences from what you have lost so far. Stay strong!

^^Agreed.

All those calculations are estimates. Pick any number you want and stay at that amount for 3-4 weeks. If you're losing, keep doing what you're doing. If you're not, then adjust accordingly. The whole process is trial and error. You're not the only person struggling. Lots of people are going through this process.

Silverstar46

I'm sorry but what the hell were your goals that you aren't excited about a 46lb loss in TWO MONTHS?! Good God, if everyone lost that much that fast then we would all be skinny minnys by now!

Look, I've been losing about ten pounds a month by following MFP's calorie guidelines and saying, "Screw the advise from fellow MFPers". WHY? Because it's just their opinions on what is right or wrong and they have no medical background to back it up so they're basically blowing smoke up someone's butt. Yeah, their diet works for them - does NOT mean it will work for you.

However, whatever you have been doing is obviously working. Now if it took you two years to get to 46lbs gone - then I'd be damned upset. If you'd only lost 2lbs in 2 months - I'd be damned upset.

Get your butt to the doctor and figure out why you are bleeding when you're not supposed to be and then figure out why you want to quit so bad.

If you want to quit - go ahead. It's not going to prevent me from continuing to lose weight. However I think it would be enormously selfish of you to quit - selfish to yourself and your family! You have the chance to change your life forever and you're letting other people's opinions make you go batty. That's just not right.

Get off the forums, and go to your doctor who went to med school for five years to learn how to help you - THAT is the one you should listen to and no one else!