I don't know how to feel about this site..

MindyG150

Sometimes looking after yourself, and leading a good example, is the best thing you can do to help others.

Well Said!

JellybeanIcecream

I haven't tried yoga, although I have certainly thought about it. I think it would suit me quite well given both the meditative aspect and the fact that as I get older I realise what a critical aspect of fitness flexibility is. I met a yoga teacher one day, and she opened my mind about how it was possible to choose the kind of old age I'd like, and that there were ways to stay supple and vigorous. Impressed me, because I feel pretty rickety some days, even at 41!

Sabine_Stroehm

I honestly don't think some people look at the diaries. I think people get caught up in the hype of how good someone looks are just goes straight to the reply part. I have been guilty of this. I don't always have time to go through everyone's diary and see what they eat. I think a good rule of thumb when selecting friends on this site is to try and screen them a little bit and be choosey. While this won't help the success pictures/stories that people post, it will make your wall feed more tailored to your needs.

Or the numbers! Or bother to convert from KG to LBS or vice versa. Congratulating someone on losing an unhealthy amount of weight, without even knowing that they're doing it!

ChrisRN75495

I do not see "many, many" people engaging in self-destructive, disordered eating patterns here, I see people using the guidelines to sanely lose weight.

I believe it is human to see what is familiar in greater numbers, especially if we have an emotional attachment to whatever that might be. In your situation, it is the symptoms of eating disorders.

Don't be sad--let people do what they need to do. If they have an eating disorder, I'd think it would be better for them to have the daily reminder that they are eating too few calories. But whether it is here or elsewhere, people with eating disorders will eat in a way that is not appropriate for them.

Let's remember than anorexia nervosa is about believing one is overweight when one is in fact too thin. Let's also remember that it is never appropriate to elicit vomiting for the purpose of restricting calories, ever.

If people find themselves eating too few calories, it is not an eating disorder unless they are thin but convinced they are fat.

One thing I enjoy about this site is the absence (usually) of diagnosing--of ourselves or each other. I don't think you'll probably get hate mail, but I do think it's interesting that you would post that concern, particularly considering that you are not espousing anything noxious or unsafe.

No one can tell you "how to feel about this site." But I'd like to suggest that having an emotional response to a website that's designed for mutual support is perhaps not the usual response. This site is just a tool. Nothing more, nothing less.

I hope you find what you are looking for here. The tools are pretty straight forward, and there are no hidden meanings.

Best of luck on your journey....

ChrisRN75495

Misshannibal

I want to wish you congrats on defeating ED. I have watched my sister struggle with ED for years and its heart breaking when she falters.

She would do well to receive therapy from someone specifically experienced in working with people with eating disorders, and she should also keep a close relationship with a physician or other health care provider. People die from eating disorders. Faltering is not an option. Good luck!

jetabear10

Surround yourself with the right support people and don't get too caught up in the forums.

MFP is a tool for YOU and no one else. As long as you remember that, you'll be OK!

Good luck on your journey. Feel free to add me if you would like some positive support. My diet isn't the greatest but I am working at it every day.

Cheers!

Robin_Bin

Congratulations on moving your focus from skinny to healthy!

There are a mix of people here. Some trying to gain weight, some to lose it, some to eat healthier and/or exercise more. You are completely correct that there are many who are still thinking that the more weight loss the fastest is best. :noway:

As others have said... surround yourself with those who support your goal. Best wishes!

(Here's one that I found scary. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/587197-stuck-12-pounds She's eating less than a 1,000 calories down to about 500 some days and exercising quite a bit! I posted a link to this thread and some others there. I have mixed feelings about judging other people's goals, but I worry about ones like this.)

joybedford

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I agree. I'm hoping that I can be a good example for my family. I want to teach them that good-health is an attainable goal - that doesn't equal being a pale, sickly-looking living corpse - and that fitness can be fun and easy to incorporate into their lives.
[/quote]

I agree with this totally one of my main reasons for eating healthily is to lead an example to my children. I previously was a binge eater who would eat when stressed, happy, sad any reason really. I would then start yet another diet in an attempt to get rid of my weight. i was deeply unhappy, with low self esteem and underconfidence. When I noticed my daughter eating sweets after a fall out with a friend I decided I had to change my ways. Also Lydia (my daughter) is a dancer and I have noticed the older girls in her dance school are obsessed with their weight I want her to see that you can eat well and still have a good body. My children are proud of my achievements and we all eat much healthier as a result. I do occasionally eat not so great food but in moderation and feel comfortable with that as i exercise to burn it off. Feel free to add me if you want.

superstankazz

This site can be very motivational and supportive, but just like in the real world, you have to pick and choose who you're friends with. Toxic people are everywhere, avoid them when you can.

1lindachristine

Ms Hannibal, I am glad you are on your way to recovery, keep up the good work and fight those demons.

However not every body who is on a very low calorie diet < 1000cal/day has an eating disorder. As you are an RN I'm sure you are aware of medically supervised diet programs, which start with a very low calorie intake at the beginning and gradually reintroduce foods.

For the others who wouldn't talk with or support a person on a very low calorie diet I would encourage you to make sure you have all the facts before jumping to judgement. They may be a good partner for you.

Linda, RN MSN

Klamber26

I'm sorry but 1200 is not a magical number. Very petite women can have nutritional needs of only1300-1400 calories a day. It is pigheaded to say that these women cannot eat 800-900 a day and lose the acceptable 1 lb per week while a man that requires 3500 calories a day can cut to 1500 without scrutiny and lose 4 lb per week.

DenverKos

Anyways..
Lately, I've been lurking around the forums, clicking around profiles of seemingly "healthy" and "fit" people. Trying to help myself by learning to eat "normally" by observing what healthy people eat/do.

What I've come to realize, is that there are many.. many.. people on this site who don't realize that they're doing what I did.
Just a moment ago, I was in the success stories section and people were congratulating a young girl on her so-called "success".
However, when I looked through her diet/excercise profile, I was shocked. She's restricting herself to about 800-1000 calories with very little excercise. -Yet, I feel I was the only one who noticed this.-
This isn't the first time I looked through someone's diet profile and was surprised.
I was more taken back by the fact that people were congratulating someone who, I'm assuming, might be struggling with an eating disorder.

Absolutely! I totally agree with you. I never post a random "Great job!" when people come in under their calorie goal for the day - if I have time, I'll check out their diary first then post. And I rarely "complete entry" for the day on my diary because I think it's completely shallow for the superficial "Great jobs" that people may give when they aren't looking at my diary. That isn't good support, and I'd rather not participate which is why I dont "complete" my diaries. I log my food, I just dont close it for the day.

But yes, I notice the same thing.

karley511

I agree with some of the posts about petite women not needing as many calories or being on a restricted diet (but I thought this was for really overweight people).

Almost all the women I am friends with on this site I met on a tall women post. Most are 5'8" and above. I am 5'11" and started on 1200 calories a day. I quickly realized that this is not a realistic number for me. I use to post things to friends about eating less than 1000 calories but they didn't seem to care. I still have one who barely eats. It's not just one day a week either. She rarely eats more than 1000 calories a day, sometimes 800. I have no idea how she has any energy at all. I usually just comment on exercise posts now. I also don't have my diary set to public because I eat more than most on here but it's working for me.

Good luck with your recovery. You are on an awesome site, you just need to find the right "friends" to support you and your goals.

SweetPea482

Or if you go to the other end of the spectrum... There are the ones who eat their 1500 minimum calories, and they are good about eating it spread out into 6 meals... but they are eating a Little Debbie Cake for breakfast, a whopper for supper, and snacking on muffins and red vlevet cake throughout the day. little morsels, sure. but where are the vegetables, or proteins or fruit?

anaboneana

Or if you go to the other end of the spectrum... There are the ones who eat their 1500 minimum calories, and they are good about eating it spread out into 6 meals... but they are eating a Little Debbie Cake for breakfast, a whopper for supper, and snacking on muffins and red vlevet cake throughout the day. little morsels, sure. but where are the vegetables, or proteins or fruit?

I've seen that quite a bit, too. I understand, though, that people get into the mindset of.. "3 pieces of fruit is about 300 calories and so is this fatty/greasy/unhealthy "whatever". which would i rather have?"
i think most people chose the unhealthier things to fill calories.. but they're not grasping the concept around nutritious eating - having veggies/fruit/protein, not sugars/fat.

then there's other people, like how i was for awhile, who think. "oh gosh, a banana is 110 calories and how much sugar?!! i'm going to stay farrr away from that!!" or "i can have 4 rice cakes for 140 calories or a teeny-tiny piece of [something nutritious, filling, and delicious]".
then there was the automatic grouping of certain foods as "bad" - like meat, dairy, and nuts. my goodness, after finally being coaxed back into eating peanut butter, cheese, milk, and chicken, i feel like a goof for not realizing how wonderful and energetic such foods make me! the key is moderation, of course. but a piece of chicken or a PB-banana sandwich is sooo much more filling than the itty-bitty calorie "fillers" i was picking at, before.