The word "gross"...
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Some of my friends are so yummy to look at that I think naughty things - is that gross?0
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Some of my friends are so yummy to look at that I think naughty things - is that gross?
Nope
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Ive not seen it happen personally, but totally agree! People are so brave to post pics, and in no way do they deserve insults! x0
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Is this because of a previous post? if so id like to see the post ! 0
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It is ok to say it about yourself though right ?
LIke I was a disgusting, slothful, gross, fat ugly pig. Now I am just ugly and less fat.
Nope. Not yourself either. Imagine someone looking at you after you lost 137lbs for motivation and hearing you say that about yourself.
I don't know what the impetus was for your original post, but I agree with everything you say here, Elizabeth.
I understand that even fit and beautiful people feel discouraged about their progress at times, but I dislike reading self-flagellation. It just overall makes me feel bad. When I was younger I think it would also make me feel that if this perfect-looking person thinks that s/he looks 'gross', what does that say about me? But now that I'm older, I take people are their word, and just feel awful that they are ragging on themselves.0 -
Is this because of a previous post? if so id like to see the post !
No. I'm not going to post why I posted this comment. Besides, that thread is gone already thankfully.
It's just that I've seen many times on here women who are fit, thin, or muscular being called gross, anorexic, disgusting, twig, manly, etc. and women who are larger than average called flabby, lazy, disgusting, gross, etc. It just needs to stop.0 -
Is this because of a previous post? if so id like to see the post !
No. I'm not going to post why I posted this comment. Besides, that thread is gone already thankfully.
It's just that I've seen many times on here women who are fit, thin, or muscular being called gross, anorexic, disgusting, twig, manly, etc. and women who are larger than average called flabby, lazy, disgusting, gross, etc. It just needs to stop.
ah yes, like the inspirational body posts where people comment saying they do not like muscle, or curve etc etc. ?0 -
It is ok to say it about yourself though right ?
LIke I was a disgusting, slothful, gross, fat ugly pig. Now I am just ugly and less fat.
Nope. Not yourself either. Imagine someone looking at you after you lost 137lbs for motivation and hearing you say that about yourself.
Why are people automatically responsible for other people's motivation? If someone wants to be down on themselves, that is their business. If someone else finds this demotivating, I'm sure they can find someone who wants to be motivating/inspirational to follow instead.
You make a good point, but I really think the use of certain language needs to be curbed here when talking about body types. You're not just talking about yourself. You're doing it PUBLICLY. There's a difference between calling yourself gross and disgusting on your profile and putting pics up of yourself on here and calling yourself that. It's equivalently saying someone who looks like you is also gross and disgusting.
Maybe I've missed something (or more likely, a lot of things), but I don't think I've seen anyone post a picture of themselves and say "I look gross." I have, on numerous occasions described my extra skin as gross, because I think it is. Other people's extra skin doesn't bother me at all, because I don't have to look down at it while I'm stretching, or have to avoid getting it tangled on the pole while dancing (yes, this happens, yes, it can hurt like ****). It's not self-flagellation, or a statement on anyone else, it's just an honest statement about how I feel about certain parts of my body. If other people can post pictures of their abs and talk about how they are awesome, I should be equally entitled to say mine are gross looking because I happen to fared badly in the extra-skin lottery.0 -
It is ok to say it about yourself though right ?
LIke I was a disgusting, slothful, gross, fat ugly pig. Now I am just ugly and less fat.
Nope. Not yourself either. Imagine someone looking at you after you lost 137lbs for motivation and hearing you say that about yourself.
I don't know what the impetus was for your original post, but I agree with everything you say here, Elizabeth.
I understand that even fit and beautiful people feel discouraged about their progress at times, but I dislike reading self-flagellation. It just overall makes me feel bad. When I was younger I think it would also make me feel that if this perfect-looking person thinks that s/he looks 'gross', what does that say about me? But now that I'm older, I take people are their word, and just feel awful that they are ragging on themselves.
Please don't feel awful.0 -
I intentionally don't read threads such as 'what's your favorite body type' or 'post a pic of the celeb body you are trying to become', etc.
To me, we are all born with the bodies we have. We can do a lot to improve them, but I think it is far better to center your thoughts on your own progress without comparing yourself to others.
I think focusing on health and vitality, over physical appearance, is a healthier mind-set too. Apologies to those who body-build and have specific body goals in mind. I do understand, but think for the average person, that ruminating over '6-packs' and 'V's' are detractions from the most important one: self-care, respect and vibrant good health.0 -
Is this because of a previous post? if so id like to see the post !
No. I'm not going to post why I posted this comment. Besides, that thread is gone already thankfully.
It's just that I've seen many times on here women who are fit, thin, or muscular being called gross, anorexic, disgusting, twig, manly, etc. and women who are larger than average called flabby, lazy, disgusting, gross, etc. It just needs to stop.
ah yes, like the inspirational body posts where people comment saying they do not like muscle, or curve etc etc. ?
Yes, sometimes it occurs there, but I've also seen it in response to women and men posting real pics of themselves here as well. I just feel like this kind of language is unnecessary.0 -
I do, however, reserve the right to describe how I am after running as "all sweaty and gross," because... well I am. But my body is not gross. Never was. Never will be, no matter how big or small I might be or get. It's pretty amazing how I could mistreat it for years and years and years, but give it a little TLC and it can perform amazing tasks. (Albeit, with an insane amount of perspiration.)0
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It is ok to say it about yourself though right ?
LIke I was a disgusting, slothful, gross, fat ugly pig. Now I am just ugly and less fat.
Nope. Not yourself either. Imagine someone looking at you after you lost 137lbs for motivation and hearing you say that about yourself.
Why are people automatically responsible for other people's motivation? If someone wants to be down on themselves, that is their business. If someone else finds this demotivating, I'm sure they can find someone who wants to be motivating/inspirational to follow instead.
You make a good point, but I really think the use of certain language needs to be curbed here when talking about body types. You're not just talking about yourself. You're doing it PUBLICLY. There's a difference between calling yourself gross and disgusting on your profile and putting pics up of yourself on here and calling yourself that. It's equivalently saying someone who looks like you is also gross and disgusting.
Maybe I've missed something (or more likely, a lot of things), but I don't think I've seen anyone post a picture of themselves and say "I look gross." I have, on numerous occasions described my extra skin as gross, because I think it is. Other people's extra skin doesn't bother me at all, because I don't have to look down at it while I'm stretching, or have to avoid getting it tangled on the pole while dancing (yes, this happens, yes, it can hurt like ****). It's not self-flagellation, or a statement on anyone else, it's just an honest statement about how I feel about certain parts of my body. If other people can post pictures of their abs and talk about how they are awesome, I should be equally entitled to say mine are gross looking because I happen to fared badly in the extra-skin lottery.
I think there's a difference between saying that you FEEL gross and saying you ARE gross. I think we all have parts of ourselves we find unattractive (most of us do), but that shouldn't translate to "I'm a disgusting person."
I have seen a few posts where people make offhand comments about themselves being "disgusting." I did it to myself when I first started here not realizing that by saying that my body was gross, I had just insulted everyone who looked like me also. Someone pointed that out to me early on, thankfully, and I'm glad they did. I'm much harder on myself than others are or I am towards others.0 -
I intentionally don't read threads such as 'what's your favorite body type' or 'post a pic of the celeb body you are trying to become', etc.
To me, we are all born with the bodies we have. We can do a lot to improve them, but I think it is far better to center your thoughts on your own progress without comparing yourself to others.
I think focusing on health and vitality, over physical appearance, is a healthier mind-set too. Apologies to those who body-build and have specific body goals in mind. I do understand, but think for the average person, that ruminating over '6-packs' and 'V's' are detractions from the most important one: self-care, respect and vibrant good health.
I think that's a good point to make, but I also think there's some merit in having a goal physique in mind as long as it's a healthy view on it and not obsessive.
It really helps me visualize what I might look like at my goal size for motivation.0 -
I intentionally don't read threads such as 'what's your favorite body type' or 'post a pic of the celeb body you are trying to become', etc.
To me, we are all born with the bodies we have. We can do a lot to improve them, but I think it is far better to center your thoughts on your own progress without comparing yourself to others.
I think focusing on health and vitality, over physical appearance, is a healthier mind-set too. Apologies to those who body-build and have specific body goals in mind. I do understand, but think for the average person, that ruminating over '6-packs' and 'V's' are detractions from the most important one: self-care, respect and vibrant good health.
I think that's a good point to make, but I also think there's some merit in having a goal physique in mind as long as it's a healthy view on it and not obsessive.
It really helps me visualize what I might look like at my goal size for motivation.
I understand, but realistically, not all things are possible. For instance, I have a broad frame. When I'm a normal weight, my shoulders and hips are still wide, and my rib cage protrudes. If I look at pictures of someone at that same weight with a smaller body frame, it's okay but I'd better not think that my body design is going to change into that. It's far better to learn to appreciate what I have, learn to dress myself to advantage and love the variant body type I have.0 -
AMEN!:happy:0
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This is a bit off the original topic, but have you guys seen this website?
http://www.mybodygallery.com/
It's tons of real women's bodies at a certain height and weight, and you can sort it by shape (apple, pear, hourglass). I think it's awesome.0 -
This is a bit off the original topic, but have you guys seen this website?
http://www.mybodygallery.com/
It's tons of real women's bodies at a certain height and weight, and you can sort it by shape (apple, pear, hourglass). I think it's awesome.
I found that site to be very helpful in helping me decide a goal weight. You're right about it being an awesome site. 0 -
This is a bit off the original topic, but have you guys seen this website?
http://www.mybodygallery.com/
It's tons of real women's bodies at a certain height and weight, and you can sort it by shape (apple, pear, hourglass). I think it's awesome.
I found that site to be very helpful in helping me decide a goal weight. You're right about it being an awesome site.
I like that site, too, but it merely reinforces how different we all are, even if we weigh the same, are the same height, and have the same basic build.0 -
This is a bit off the original topic, but have you guys seen this website?
http://www.mybodygallery.com/
It's tons of real women's bodies at a certain height and weight, and you can sort it by shape (apple, pear, hourglass). I think it's awesome.
Using this type of site to set your goals might not be the best idea, as the range of what people look like at a given weight is actually pretty big, because a lot of factors are involved. Just for the heck of it, I compared women who were of the same height and weight as I am, with the same body type (pear), to see how closely I would resemble them. Of the 30 or so pictures I looked at, I looked remotely like maybe one or two of them. And the less clothing they had on, the less I resembled them. I know I'm oddly put together, and that I am more muscular than a lot of women are at my weight, but I expected I'd be able to find more women than that who looked like me. My point is, you probably don't want to get your heart set on matching a picture, even if that picture is of a "real woman."
Also, women's reports of their sizes didn't make much sense to me. One wears a size 8 pant, and a size L shirt, and the next woman is a size 12 pant and a size medium shirt--both at the same height and weight, and both listed under "pear shaped." A big part of this is probably the inconsistency in women's clothing sizes, but it does mean that information is of limited utility.0 -
This is a bit off the original topic, but have you guys seen this website?
http://www.mybodygallery.com/
It's tons of real women's bodies at a certain height and weight, and you can sort it by shape (apple, pear, hourglass). I think it's awesome.
Using this type of site to set your goals might not be the best idea, as the range of what people look like at a given weight is actually pretty big, because a lot of factors are involved. Just for the heck of it, I compared women who were of the same height and weight as I am, with the same body type (pear), to see how closely I would resemble them. Of the 30 or so pictures I looked at, I looked remotely like maybe one or two of them. And the less clothing they had on, the less I resembled them. I know I'm oddly put together, and that I am more muscular than a lot of women are at my weight, but I expected I'd be able to find more women than that who looked like me. My point is, you probably don't want to get your heart set on matching a picture, even if that picture is of a "real woman."
Also, women's reports of their sizes didn't make much sense to me. One wears a size 8 pant, and a size L shirt, and the next woman is a size 12 pant and a size medium shirt--both at the same height and weight, and both listed under "pear shaped." A big part of this is probably the inconsistency in women's clothing sizes, but it does mean that information is of limited utility.
I agree here. Goal weights should be defined by body fat% amongst other factors and is unique to your body. However, when you've figured out what a healthy goal weight is for your body a site like this can be helpful in figuring out what that **can** look like, especially for those people who have a lot of weight to lose and may never have seen their adult body at a healthy weight.
I like that it provides a more realistic counterbalance to the images regularly presented to us by the media. In the context of this thread, maybe if people had realistic expectations, they wouldn't refer to certain bodies as "gross".0 -
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Just wanted to share the excitement!
Steven just informed me of a new rule change. It's now explicitly against the rules to use derogatory language about anyone's body type:
4. Show Respect to All Groups and Individuals
No derogatory references to sex, gender, weight, body-type, ethnicity, religion, or sexual orientation, or endorsement of violence against any person or group, even if couched in humor, will be permitted. This includes expressing stereotypes about any group or community.
Thank you SO much to Steven for his sensitivity and for standing up for what's right here.0 -
I think people don't understand what a trigger that word can be for someone whose had an issue in the past.....0
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I think people don't understand what a trigger that word can be for someone whose had an issue in the past.....
I agree.
It's horrible enough to hear it if you HAVEN'T had serious body issues in the past. No one deserves to be subjected to that kind of language about their body especially here where are doing our best to improve ourselves.0 -
People need to think before they speak (or type). That person you called "gross" for being extremely overweight may have already lost 50 lbs and was feeling rather proud of herself until you came in with your ugliness. I'd like to think no one here is stupid enough to believe that telling someone they are gross, disgusting, etc is actually going to motivate them. But either there are people that stupid or there are just some truly mean people who may look good on the outside but are pretty gross and disgusting on the inside.
The same goes for those who are showing off their new bodies. Maybe you think a woman with muscles is gross. So what? What do you think will happen if you post to tell her that? Do you think she'll agree with you and start trying to lose that muscle? Do you think she'll be hurt by your comments? Do you feel better about yourself by trying to knock someone else down?
I am simply amazed the way the mods operate here. You can call someone gross, disgusting, practically deformed, etc and they say nothing. But dare correct their spelling or grammar and all hell rains down. How does that make any sense at all???
my guess is it broke her heart, as much as she's not supposed to care, guess what? She's human and overly sensitive....0 -
People need to think before they speak (or type). That person you called "gross" for being extremely overweight may have already lost 50 lbs and was feeling rather proud of herself until you came in with your ugliness. I'd like to think no one here is stupid enough to believe that telling someone they are gross, disgusting, etc is actually going to motivate them. But either there are people that stupid or there are just some truly mean people who may look good on the outside but are pretty gross and disgusting on the inside.
The same goes for those who are showing off their new bodies. Maybe you think a woman with muscles is gross. So what? What do you think will happen if you post to tell her that? Do you think she'll agree with you and start trying to lose that muscle? Do you think she'll be hurt by your comments? Do you feel better about yourself by trying to knock someone else down?
I am simply amazed the way the mods operate here. You can call someone gross, disgusting, practically deformed, etc and they say nothing. But dare correct their spelling or grammar and all hell rains down. How does that make any sense at all???
my guess is it broke her heart, as much as she's not supposed to care, guess what? She's human and overly sensitive....
Not overly sensitive at all. I would cry my eyeballs out if someone called my body "gross." I think most of us would.0 -
Just wanted to share the excitement!
Steven just informed me of a new rule change. It's now explicitly against the rules to use derogatory language about anyone's body type:
4. Show Respect to All Groups and Individuals
No derogatory references to sex, gender, weight, body-type, ethnicity, religion, or sexual orientation, or endorsement of violence against any person or group, even if couched in humor, will be permitted. This includes expressing stereotypes about any group or community.
Thank you SO much to Steven for his sensitivity and for standing up for what's right here.
thank you for lobbying for this!!!0 -
People need to think before they speak (or type). That person you called "gross" for being extremely overweight may have already lost 50 lbs and was feeling rather proud of herself until you came in with your ugliness. I'd like to think no one here is stupid enough to believe that telling someone they are gross, disgusting, etc is actually going to motivate them. But either there are people that stupid or there are just some truly mean people who may look good on the outside but are pretty gross and disgusting on the inside.
The same goes for those who are showing off their new bodies. Maybe you think a woman with muscles is gross. So what? What do you think will happen if you post to tell her that? Do you think she'll agree with you and start trying to lose that muscle? Do you think she'll be hurt by your comments? Do you feel better about yourself by trying to knock someone else down?
I am simply amazed the way the mods operate here. You can call someone gross, disgusting, practically deformed, etc and they say nothing. But dare correct their spelling or grammar and all hell rains down. How does that make any sense at all???
my guess is it broke her heart, as much as she's not supposed to care, guess what? She's human and overly sensitive....
Not overly sensitive at all. I would cry my eyeballs out if someone called my body "gross." I think most of us would.
said person also is very happy with her body and her progress, but that word is just not nice, period.0
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