Women exercising outdoors

Lolli1986

I'm really sorry this happened to you and I'm really glad that you weren't hurt further.

BUT!!!!!

Call the police IMMEDIATELY!

It is irresponsible to wait until tomorrow.

ETA: And I'm actually mad that you chose to post on a forum board to "warn" women before calling the police. If you are concerned about women's safety. Call the police!

I think the point of the post is to remind everyone to be vigilant when they are out exercising as it's something a lot of us don't think about. Sure when we go out at night we are careful but we don't see ourselves as vulnerable in all situations, exercising in daylight would be not a time I would think about. The police will just take a statement, see if anything else similar has been reported (not many women get the courage to report things that are considered embarrassing) if not they will just wait to see if something similar happens. The op mentions that she was too shocked to notice what the kid looked like.

Thanks. Yes, my point was to illustrate that it happens even in COMPLETELY unexpected situations.

Yes, I should have reported straight away and there are about ten million thoughts and emotions behind why I didn't consider reporting it until now, mostly surrounding the fact that he was a little boy.

But yes, let's officially add it to the list of tips:

* You will feel emotional and confused, embarrassed, and you will feel like you will just be laughed at, especially if it's a little boy, and that no one will do anything and that he got away (ad infinitum), but do your very best to report is as soon after the incident as possible.

This one is a given, people, and I cannot and do not want to explain why I didn't do it. Let's not discuss it any further as, no matter how well-intentioned you are, negative judgement feeds into all the reasons why women don't talk about or report these things. For example, I am now feeling shamed and don't want to have to face police who will potentially shame me further, and I KNOW this is counter-productive to the desired result of all the 'report it now' posts. Tomorrow is the earliest I can do it (well, today now. it is just past midnight).

sexforjaffacakes

People also need to remember that most rapes and sexual assaults are by someone you know, and often in a relationship with.

We need to be protected inside the home and out, so even though it is of course essential to be well protected when you're out and about, also remember you need to be aware of assaults in your own home.

I was sexually assaulted by a bf, and it took me weeks to actually realise it was a sexual assault - but he did something in bed that I told him not to, of course it was!

So vigilant outside, and aware at home

meerkat70

Lolli at 14, he's not a little boy. He's a teenage boy, who should have been taught better by now. Chances are nothing bad will happen to him. But if he *has* done this kind of thing before, your report will help both the police and him.

That said, as a rape survivor, I have to say it makes me *very* angry when people suggest it's not 'responsible' to report sexual violence. That's putting way too much pressure on the victim, and I think it's very inappropriate. I'm not quite sure what you think gives you the right, therealangd, to chastise another woman for however *they* choose to handle *their* experience of assault. But believe me, you don't have that right. Take your righteous indignation somewhere else, please, and don't burden a victim further with it.

Flab2fitfi

Not sure where you are from but in the UK carrying a knife for 'protection' is a offence which attracts a jail sentece. Worse than that evidence suggests that women who attempt to use weapons against attackers tend to have it taken off them and used against them.

Whilst we have the right to be safe, carrying weapons is not the answer.

The key to not getting a weapon taken away is know how to use it and not being afraid to use it. If you carry a weapon, be sure you are properly trained to use it. My state allows concealed carry handgun permits, so I have one, and am usually armed. My wife is also well trained with her pistol.

JM

Yeah still in the UK carrying a weapon is illegal. Guns are completely illegal, although of course criminals can get there hands on them. Carrying a knife is completely illegal too.

But if you accidently spray someone in their face with deodorant that you are carrying in your pocket as its the first thing that comes to hand to protect yourself it will hurt ( and give you time to run)

autumnk921

Thank you for the reminder to all of us women to be watchful of our environment....And above all to STAY SAFE - However you can!! I think some of us sort of forget the risks & think it won't happen to us or in our neighborhood but it can & it does....So again, Thanks for the reminder not to get too comfortable especially when working out, walking outdoors alone! :flowerforyou:

bluegrasschica

Thank you for all the helpful tips. I do occasionally walk outside by myself and I thought about buying some mace just incase. You can never be too careful Sorry this happened to you!

21Pontoon

Thank you for the post, it's something that I always think about but rarely make any provisions for so it's shot up my priority list. I hope you're okay!

jenlarz

Just another suggestion, when I was at college it was a decent size campus and there were night classes. When walking to your car at night when you don't know who's around keep your car key in your and with the key sticking out b/t your fingers. It's not much but may be enough to help you out! I never had an issue but it's always good to be cautious.

dutchessrachel

Good for you for using this experience to educate! Glad you weren't hurt!

Whenever I walk outside (and most of the time) I walk with pepper spray in my pocket. If I see someone I don't recognize, I put my finger on the trigger! You can pick it up at most sporting good stores. I got mine at Gander Mountain. And it's pink. Don't be afraid to make someone else uncomfortable if YOU feel threatened!!

MMarvelous

Lolli at 14, he's not a little boy. He's a teenage boy, who should have been taught better by now. Chances are nothing bad will happen to him. But if he *has* done this kind of thing before, your report will help both the police and him.

That said, as a rape survivor, I have to say it makes me *very* angry when people suggest it's not 'responsible' to report sexual violence. That's putting way too much pressure on the victim, and I think it's very inappropriate. I'm not quite sure what you think gives you the right, therealangd, to chastise another woman for however *they* choose to handle *their* experience of assault. But believe me, you don't have that right. Take your righteous indignation somewhere else, please, and don't burden a victim further with it.

Thank you for posting this comment.

OP I pray you find some comfort and relief after reporting this guy. This is obviously not easy and no one can know exactly how you feel after being violated. I applaud you for not just sharing but encouraging other women on being safe while working out. Women you do not know or may neve meet. This says so much about who you are as a woman and they strength you posesse to heal and move forward. I pray for your emotional and mental healing.

RumOne

I'm so sorry this happened to you! CALL THE POLICE! It is not your fault and if he didn't want to get into trouble then he shouldn't have put his hands on you.

Thank you for reminding us that we need to be aware of our surroundings

twistofcain

Sorry that happened to you.



Reminds me of when my dad used to walk at the track at the high school where he lived. There was always a woman there after dark(they did have lights there) and he was walking with her one night, and asked "Aren't you ever scared or nervous walking here at night?" she simply replied, "I have nothing to be scared of with a .45 backing me."

jdhosier

One behalf of my daughter (here on MFP) and my wife, thank you for having the courage to share your experience and reminding all of us (men and women) to be vigilant. You are a very brave woman.

EmCarroll1990

I honestly cannot even believe this. I am in total shock. That's complete bs. I'd be calling it in right away.

SouthernSweetie74

Thanks for sharing. The same thing happened to me, except it wasn't a kid... it was an older man... my kids were even there... I felt so dirty afterwards... yuck...

cannonsky

excellent tips. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. But thank you for sharing

KBGirts

I am so sorry that you had to experience that. It's sickening that it happens.

I have a tazer and a big black dog who likes to bark. I hope I never have to use either one!!

KBGirts

That's just awesome!

JMPerlin

Its probably been said before but it bears repeating. make sure you report this to the Police even if you cannot identify the jerk. The police will then be aware of the situation, if not already, and can work on catching the s@#m.

mes1119

I'm so sorry this happened to you but I am glad it wasn't worse. It is a blessing that you can now educate some women to help prevent something far worse happening :flowerforyou:

mccarol1956

I am so very sorry about what happened to you. Things like this should never happen to anyone.

I haven't reported it yet, but plan to tomorrow. I can't identify the kid, but if he has done it before or does it again in the area, it may help.

Don't wait until tomorrow, how would you feel if the next person he came into contact he raped or even killed?

Initially I didn't want to get some poor kid in trouble for doing something really silly, that maybe he will never do again, but then i realised that if he is doing things like this then chances are high that he has been abused or has witnessed abuse, so yes, reporting it.

Do not make this person the victim, you are the victim and he has no business doing what he did. If he can do this he can do far worse. Do not give him the opportunity. You may protect someone else by reporting him!

I am still feeling yuck about it, so wanted to try to create some sort of positive from it.

I know talking about this will help some but if you start being afraid to do things you may need counseling. It was sexual abuse!!

Your advice is so wonderful for all of us on this forum and I appreciate that you shared it. It is so important that we be aware!

Sandyk5460

I think every woman should take a basic self defense class. Many of our local Karate studios offer them, often for free. The basic premise is that your learn what to do to get AWAY! Not to fight! Always have an escape route in mind wherever you are. OP sounds like a smart lady - and that means we are all targets, no matter how prepared we are. We can only do our best to create a positive outcome from any encounter, but we can't let that fear keep us from living!

I'm so sorry for what you had to go through. I took a basic self defense class prior to starting my 3-11 shift. Here are a few tips:
1. If you carry keys, put them in your hand, pick the biggest key and point it outward, wrapping your hand in a fist. If attacked, aim for the eyes. If no keys, put index finger straight, put your middle finger over top, aim for eyes.
2. If attacked, use the bottom of your hand, just above the wrist, and punch upward under the attackers nose. (Note: If done correctly, will cause death to your attacker but the way I see it, they attacked you and you are fighting for your life.)
I learned a lot more, like slamming your heel downward on attackers shin and into top of his foot. Just remember, his eyes are more vulnerable this his groin......and don't forget that you can bite, scratch....rip his ear off if need be. Just don't wash hands or yourself after an attack. There could be hair and skin on you that they can get successful DNA from. It is better NOT to change your clothes as you could loose particles of evidence but if you have to, put them in a plastic bag to take with you when you report the attack.
Stay safe out there gals! Its always better to buddy up or take your dog with you.

Expialidojess

So sorry this happened to you. Thank you for sharing your story so that other women can be more aware of what can go wrong. The trails near where I live are heavily wooded and far from any houses, so I usually avoid them unless I have a running buddy. I agree with the others, too. If anything like this ever happens to anyone, ALWAYS report it to the police, even if you can't identify the person, so they can watch the area and maybe prevent it from happening to someone else in the future.