Sick of trying with no results

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Replies

  • zsaoosh
    zsaoosh Posts: 402 Member
    Oh honey! You are only obese due to BMI, not weight. I am 5'6.5'' and at 152 I was 33% but I never called myself fat. You are NOT fat! Your man is wrong for laughing at you. I think you hurt your metabolism because you keep playing with how much you eat. You need to find a woman at your gym that is fit to help you out. You cant gain muscle on such low cals and that was my prob as well. You need to eat steady, DONT DIET...just eat healthy. Diets dont work nore do they last a lifetime. Friend me and maybe we can help eachother out!!! :bigsmile:
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
    You've fallen into the vicious cycle of undereating. You need to gradually bring your intake up to a normal healthy amount. Visit a dietitian or psychological counselor if you have to. This should be top priority in your life.
  • Yori1
    Yori1 Posts: 142
    Bump
  • BlueInkDot
    BlueInkDot Posts: 702 Member
    1. Your husband is being a jerk. I would make him sleep on the couch for that kind of treatment. I might even slap him in the face. Not cool. Not acceptable. He should never treat you like that. :mad:

    2. You're not fat. Not even a little. I just looked at your pictures and you're spot-on. I don't see why you think you're fat at all.

    3. Strength training is where it's at. Lift heavy. It's super fun.

    4. Eat more. You'll have to work up to it slowly, but you'll be glad you did. Eat lots of protein. Build muscle. It'll be awesome. #hardcore

    5. Track all of your food. Your diary is half empty. Better tracking = knowlege. With knowledge you can see correlations, by seeing correlations, you can control your results. It's like being a detective. A detective of bodily SCIENCE. #science
  • raayfrancy
    raayfrancy Posts: 100
    You seem to have gotten a lot of responses - and I havent read any of them - so maybe someone suggested this...
    But just in case they didn't:

    Have you ever had your thyroid tested? Or your food allergies?
    Maybe you ought to, just in case!

    P.S. I don't know how old your pictures are - whether they're from before you said you gained weight, or if they're current.. but you're a beautiful girl. Don't stress the weight - stress the health.

    Best wishes, love!
    xo
  • Livin_Large
    Livin_Large Posts: 104 Member
    Have you discussed any of this with your primary care physician? I looked at your pictures and there is no way you are obese. Even if the pictures were taken prior to the weight you are trying to lose now...you still would not qualify for obese; maybe overweight, but not obese.

    Your BMI calculations seem off, as well.

    As for your husband - laughing at you is the last thing he needs to be doing right now. Especially if you are struggling.

    Extreme calorie cutting and an intensive exercise program make me concerned that you might be struggling with an eating disorder. That's why I asked about the physician.

    I have not discussed it with my physician because she blew me off when I expressed my concerns to her. i am trying to find a new doctor who will test me. As for an eating disorder....I NET 1400 calories a day most days and have cut back on exercise lately. I haven't been able to do 650 a day since I was in high school, and I wouldn't want to again either. .. it would make me crazy! lol

    If you're not logging all your food, where are you getting that you are netting 1400 a day?
  • Rosa1213
    Rosa1213 Posts: 456 Member
    Maybe you could visit a doctor or dietician?
    They should have some better answers. As someone else mentioned, your body was in a very bad place when you were only eating 650 calories per day, and maybe it isn't back at its best.

    Best wishes to you.
  • va_va_voom
    va_va_voom Posts: 467 Member
    Have you discussed any of this with your primary care physician? I looked at your pictures and there is no way you are obese. Even if the pictures were taken prior to the weight you are trying to lose now...you still would not qualify for obese; maybe overweight, but not obese.

    Your BMI calculations seem off, as well.

    As for your husband - laughing at you is the last thing he needs to be doing right now. Especially if you are struggling.

    Extreme calorie cutting and an intensive exercise program make me concerned that you might be struggling with an eating disorder. That's why I asked about the physician.

    I have not discussed it with my physician because she blew me off when I expressed my concerns to her. i am trying to find a new doctor who will test me. As for an eating disorder....I NET 1400 calories a day most days and have cut back on exercise lately. I haven't been able to do 650 a day since I was in high school, and I wouldn't want to again either. .. it would make me crazy! lol

    I once took my weight loss concerns to a doctor and he wanted to put me on an anti-depressant. Huh? :noway: lol I am glad you are looking for a new doctor and will pray that you find one that will listen to you and address your concerns in a healthy way.

    That said, if you are going to net more calories, you don't want to cut back on your strength training. From what I've been reading a lot of around here, strength training is the way to go to cut down on body fat and increase lean muscle mass. So, if you back off of anything, I would say cut back on the cardio and focus on the strength training.
  • SeasideOasis
    SeasideOasis Posts: 1,057 Member
    Unless you don't log all the time (or all your food) - You are frequently under 1200 (like 6 out of 7 days). That alone, since you sort of ruined your metabolism eating less than 700 calories a day, is going to be a big problem. I gained 10 pounds last year eating only 1200 NET calories. Bump up your calories some and see how you feel. With those calories, however, try to fill yourself with VEGETABLES and LOW FAT MEATS! Dont add in extra chips, candy, and pastries.
  • estrange22
    estrange22 Posts: 210 Member
    ((hugs)) First off, ignore the hubs! Mine is about as supportive as yours....easy for them to say with their super metabolisms! Secondly, I would reccomend eating A LOT MORE. eat around 2000 cals of healthy food and work your booty off! Try doing some heavy lifting and some HIIT (high intensity interval training...google it, love it!) HIIT will usually give your metabolism a good kick in the rear. Whatever you do, do something different! It will be okay:-)
  • va_va_voom
    va_va_voom Posts: 467 Member
    Unless you don't log all the time (or all your food) - You are frequently under 1200 (like 6 out of 7 days). That alone, since you sort of ruined your metabolism eating less than 700 calories a day, is going to be a big problem. I gained 10 pounds last year eating only 1200 NET calories. Bump up your calories some and see how you feel. With those calories, however, try to fill yourself with VEGETABLES and LOW FAT MEATS! Dont add in extra chips, candy, and pastries.

    Amen to that last bit. It's just as much - if not more - about quality of calories in as it is about quantity.
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
    Maybe the biggest weight you have to drop is your husband. What a horrible thing to do to you.

    I hope you will find a new physician who will test your metabolism and thyroid. Motivation is the toughest part of this process, you have tried so hard and you have deserved success after the amount of effort you put in... So I think there are probably other medical factors involved
  • ines25
    ines25 Posts: 107 Member
    I would recommend u to go to a REGISTER NUTRITIONIST ASAP I was in the exact situation u are In today. 4yrs ego I met my bf I was 125lb I stop working out I gain 35lb and couldn't lose the weight I got tired of trying and after a couple of months things are going great Down 20lb I REGRET NOT DOING IT SOONER
  • aj_31
    aj_31 Posts: 994 Member
    bump...read later.
  • LindaCWy
    LindaCWy Posts: 463 Member
    I have been at this for years....close to 3 ... after gaining close to 25 pounds after high school. To make my backstory short, I lost 55 pounds in high school though eating only 650 calories a day for a year...averaging 1 pound a week. I kept it off by eating probably 1200-1400 a day, and then got in a new relationship, started eating more, and put some back on...

    ...I decided 3 years ago that I wanted to get the weight off again, and here it is 3 years later, and I am several pounds heavier than I was (I had started to lose again doing Dukan Diet a year ago, but it has since all come back on, plus more)

    I am sick of eating healthy, working out 5x a week (cardio and strength) and seeing NO results....not even looser clothes. I would be fine at this weight if my clothes were at least fitting better. I'm sick of gaining weight or staying the same at 1500 calories a day. I am sick of putting everything I have into this, and 3 years later, I am still at square one, if not 2 steps back.

    I try really hard for 2-3 months, and see NOTHING in results, and then give up for a week or two and give myself just a LITTLE wiggle room, then get back to it thinking that the next time will be different. It never is. I still never lose anything, and I still never lose inches.

    I started a new strength training program, and was showing my husband some of the stuff on the workouts. I thought that as long as I was doing my best, even if my form wasn't perfect, that I would still see some results in the form of muscle toning/growth. When I showed him my pushup, he laughed at me. I am trying my best, and he laughs at my form, which really hurt a lot. I am still in tears writing this because I am just SO SICK of trying and getting NOTHING out of it. I hate that my jeans don't fit anymore, and that I wear baggy, loose sweatpants because I feel so disgusting and want to hide. I hate being the fat one in my group of friends. At 5'4, 145 pounds, and 32% BF, I am considered obese...and it kills me on the inside.

    I'm sorry that this vent is so long...its just 3 years of trying, and frustration built up and I just don't know what to do anymore.

    Can I just ask how 145 pounds for 5'4 is obese? Seriously?!

    I am one inch taller than you and 142, and I can weigh up to 150 pounds and still be considered a healthy weight.
    I think you are being too hard on yourself and the first thing that needs to change is your attitude.

    Then you should see a physician, because you may have a thyroid issue.

    As for the husband part, listen, sometimes the people in your life will get insecure about you adopting a new life style and it is hard at first but 9 times out of 10 then will jump on board and join you because they feel that their bodies are inadequate. My advise is to leave your husband out of the equation and if you want people to cheer you on feel free to add me as a friend.

    I had to up my calories significantly with weight training to see the scale move, now if I go a day undereating my body reacts and I gain. Don't forget about water retention too much sodium, etc etc.

    Please don't ever call yourself obese again, you are not obese... you would be obese at like 160 pounds (estimate).
  • ines25
    ines25 Posts: 107 Member
    Oh I forgot to tell u something if u workout do not weight ur self the first 6-8week cause u gain muscle when u start working out try it u won't regret it
  • BeautyAndTheGeeks
    BeautyAndTheGeeks Posts: 109
    Did you make up your own bmi chart? 145lbs at 5'4 is only 3lbs over the healthy range, which puts you in the overweight category. Overweight by 3LBS. You aren't obese. Hell, I'm 5;4 and weigh more than you and I'm not even classed as obese, so I have no idea where you got that idea.

    Also, you're obviously doing something that isn't working for you if you haven't seen any changes in 3 whole years. You need to give it more than 2 or 3 weeks before giving up or you're going to be stopping and starting for your whole life. Try upping your calories and seeing how that pans out for you, or calorie cycling to get your metabolism going again because it's screwed up due to your 650 calorie diet.
  • janeite1990
    janeite1990 Posts: 671 Member
    Sorry the husband was insensitive. Guys don't know how to talk to girls about weight and exercise, generally speaking, of course. There are dozens of possible reasons he reacted that way, and most of them have nothing to do with you. Don't consult him on nutrition, exercise, fitness, or weight loss again.

    You have probably messed with your metabolism when you were on the crash diet. I did that years ago, too, and even though we think we are doing the disciplined thing, it really doesn't help your body stay slim in the long run. You've got to find ways to eat more calories.

    You are not obese. You look great. Your height and weight are normal.

    If you want to be on the slimmer side of normal, well, I'll tell you what it took for me:

    I have to do cardio almost every day. I miss about one day a week because of my kids' activities (tball, ballet, etc.), but other than that I try to bust it every day, minimum 25 minutes, but I like to go 45. I add weights when I can.

    I try to net 1200. Sometimes it is hard, esp when I do lots of cardio, but if I'm still low at the end of the day, I eat a Nutella sandwich with skim milk. Drink your water, get your macros, and bust it on cardio, but do NOT restrict calories too much. It just backfires.

    Doctors may or may not help. My husband is a doctor and he knows nothing, well, very little, about weight loss. You might consult a nutritionist or dietician and a trainer. Don't give up on being healthy, though!
  • lacieb42
    lacieb42 Posts: 4 Member
    Your story sounds so very similar to mine! I did something very similar in junior high and finally recovered from it, but a few years ago I was prescribed and anti-depressant, which I very much needed, but a side effect was that I had almost no desire to eat for several months, so that is a double-whammy to my metabolism. After whole-heartedly trying a few programs for 3+ months at a time over the last year with no results and managing to put on another 10 lbs. along the way, I have finally decided to up my calories to what should cause me to lose 1lb. a week instead of 2 (which wasn't working for me at all) and continue on, though it is quite nerve-wracking, when I wasn't losing at the lower rate. Still trying to convince myself that slow and steady wins the race, but just looking at all the people on here has me convinced. My plan was to do cardio until my BF% came down, but with everything I've read on here in the last week, I'm convinced that I need to start strength training, too. I just don't think the fat is going to come off without building some muscle first. A good foundation, or something like that.

    I hope you don't mind, but I"m going to add you. Maybe we can be a good support for eachother, since we're in very similar situations. Good luck, and don't give up!
  • AKosky585
    AKosky585 Posts: 607 Member
    Realistic body image???? You are NOT obese by any chart. 32% Body Fat is in the normal range for women your age. As to your friends...they must be stick figures if you are obese by comparison.

    Husband laughing at your push up form. Was it a mean laugh or a good natured laugh. My husband and I laugh at each other all the time and we're nuts about each other.

    We are definitely nuts about eachother too, and his laugh was good natured, but it still hurt because I try so hard and my form still sucks! lol

    As for my friends, they are stick figures. One is 4'10 and 72 pounds!
  • AKosky585
    AKosky585 Posts: 607 Member
    Have you discussed any of this with your primary care physician? I looked at your pictures and there is no way you are obese. Even if the pictures were taken prior to the weight you are trying to lose now...you still would not qualify for obese; maybe overweight, but not obese.

    Your BMI calculations seem off, as well.

    As for your husband - laughing at you is the last thing he needs to be doing right now. Especially if you are struggling.

    Extreme calorie cutting and an intensive exercise program make me concerned that you might be struggling with an eating disorder. That's why I asked about the physician.

    I have not discussed it with my physician because she blew me off when I expressed my concerns to her. i am trying to find a new doctor who will test me. As for an eating disorder....I NET 1400 calories a day most days and have cut back on exercise lately. I haven't been able to do 650 a day since I was in high school, and I wouldn't want to again either. .. it would make me crazy! lol

    If you're not logging all your food, where are you getting that you are netting 1400 a day?

    Because I keep a better log in a notebook that I keep with me everywhere I go. I only log the meals on here when I am at home and able to log them.

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