Falling for your best friend

2

Replies

  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
    Never understood this stigma about relationships ruining friendships. Imo, if you're not married to your best friend, then you married the wrong person.
  • 10acity
    10acity Posts: 798 Member
    If you both really felt it and were ready, youd have kissed.

    That's true..

    Uh... no. Risking an established and important friendship is a big deal and she may have just had all the same thoughts running through her head that you did.

    Just talk about it. I [we] made the mistake of ignoring it for way too long, and basically lost my best friend in the world for nearly 10 years. (We just can't really be around one another anymore because it's inappropriate for friends but neither of us wants to date. It's FUBARed.) Don't let that happen! Bring it up!
  • Lizabee84
    Lizabee84 Posts: 346 Member
    I fell for my best friends brother we grew up together and became really good friends. One day we admited we liked each other. 10 years later we still together and married 6 of those years. Sometimes it is worth the risk. Plus being friends for that long it shouldnt damage your friendship
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Would you rather put your heart on the line and find out if the feeling is mutual? Or stay safe and stick w/ the status quo?


    It's a risk either way. It's which is more important to you???


    Frankly, I'd rather know someone was interested even if it makes the friendship more awkward temporarily. But I would move past it and keep up the friendship.
  • giadatje
    giadatje Posts: 59
    You should tell her.

    But consider also this: Far distance relationship are very very difficult. Both of you have to be 100% committed! This doesn't want to discourage you, but I know what I'm talking about. It's not impossible, but it's hard!
  • 10acity
    10acity Posts: 798 Member
    If she is really ur bff shouldnt she have given u a hsnd job b4 u left?

    Geez louise I LOVE the "ignore" feature!
  • hunibuni73
    hunibuni73 Posts: 32 Member
    I'm marrying my best friend of ten years next year!
    We have been together for nine.

    The whole year/18months we just friends I was dying for him to kiss me, in the end I kissed him!
    Best thing I ever did! Scary as fook, because of the best friends thing, but if your that close and good friends what harm would a kiss cause? Good friends would have laughed it off and get on with being friends. Lovers, well that's another story ;)
    If your not marrying your best friend, your marrying the wrong person!

    Go for it! Good Luck!
    xMx
  • pineapple1989
    pineapple1989 Posts: 195 Member
    Just be really careful. Something similar happened with my best friend and I found out how he had felt about me and I just didnt feel the same. I tried to not let it ruin our friendship but it has never been the same since, I just cant forget what he said and started analysing everything that had happened in the last year ago... just turned into a big mess really!

    You said you went to see her, so it sounds like you dont live near her at the moment. I would seriously consider if the relationship would even work if you both felt the same way.

    Sorry to be on a downer about it, just have a long think about it and weigh up which would be more painful, your friendship breaking down potentially if she doesnt feel the same way or watching her possibly marry somebody else in the future.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    Suck it up and go for it. Be honest and sincere and as romantic as you're able.

    I fell in love with my best friend too. Took a bit of convincing on my part, but we're stupid happy together now.

    You got one life man. Don't have any regrets.
  • lour441
    lour441 Posts: 543 Member
    Sounds like you are both passive. Tell her how you feel. Worst case she doesn't feel the same way you do and you can fall back to plan b... Chloroform.
  • SofaKingRad
    SofaKingRad Posts: 1,592 Member
    Do you two fart in front of each other? If so, then I say it's love.

    Make your move and quit being so passive. Letting her know after you've been friends for 15 years isn't going to just magically kill a real friendship.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Do you two fart in front of each other? If so, then I say it's love.

    *swoon*
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    Do you two fart in front of each other? If so, then I say it's love.
    This is true. Try tooting when you see her.
  • StephTheBookworm
    StephTheBookworm Posts: 177 Member
    Tell her. Girls always want to know how you feel lol. Good luck.
  • mhotch
    mhotch Posts: 901 Member
    Don't be a wimp!!! Man up and tell her, then give her a passionate kiss!!!

    Caution you better be a Damn good kisser!!!!!

    Gee, no pressure there!:laugh:
  • Erindipitous
    Erindipitous Posts: 1,234 Member
    You really should be honest with her about your feelings, but you probably should have done it before you left. That's not a convo you should have over the phone.

    Yeah, don't do it over the phone. If you can wait until you see her again, do it then. Don't hold it in, but don't overwhelm her either.. Throw out a few hints that you feel very connected to her and so on, and see if she returns the feelings before you delve deeper.. Don't hit her with an "I'm so in love with you and I want to be the father of your babies.." kind if thing (extreme example). I've had some guys come on too strong with their feelings before and it ruined our friendships.. Then again, it wasn't 15 years worth of friendship, so you be the judge.. You know her better than us.

    You both need to know where you stand or it'll drive you crazy.

    Good luck!!
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
    This is really sweet. I wouldn't be able to hold it in if I felt this way. From a woman. Let her know.

    This.
  • misscristie
    misscristie Posts: 643 Member
    My question is WHY do you think it was a mutual feeling? Was she giggling alot and finding reasons to touch you - ie "oh you're so silly (slap on the arm/leg/butt)"? If that's the case, then I think you're right.

    Make an excuse to visit her again or have her visit you and just "find yourself" in a more intimate situation. Like turn down the AC and ask if she wants to share a blanket.

    Worked for my hubby :)
  • nas24
    nas24 Posts: 880 Member
    I married mine. We spent about 5 years apart and the moment we saw each other again.. we had sex and the rest is history. LOL. Now i have a great husband and also a friend, when he gets on my nerves, lol
  • gombolyu
    gombolyu Posts: 136 Member
    I know this. It is very hard to talk about your feelings, because you don't want to ruin everything. We needed more than 3 months to coming out. We are together for more than 14 years now. Noone knows me better than him, and viceversa, but we had to talk through everything at the begginning, because our fears were so enormous, that we couldn't really feel. I was so scared, but everything was ok. Our feelings become even stronger with time, which is more than I ever imagined, but we had to keep our friendship too, not "just" our love. (Sorry for my English.)
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
    So sweet :)
  • jedibunny
    jedibunny Posts: 321
    Never understood this stigma about relationships ruining friendships. Imo, if you're not married to your best friend, then you married the wrong person.

    THIS!
  • warmachinejt
    warmachinejt Posts: 2,162 Member
    thin ice
  • mixedfeelings
    mixedfeelings Posts: 904 Member
    Talk to her, she might feel the same. Finding someone with the same qualities as someone who is your best friend is hard so it might be worth a shot.

    James was my best friend, we've known each other for 11 years and have now been dating for nearly 3. We've both dated other people, he was even married before and we were just friends for so long, I never though of him like that but we both ended up single at the same time and he approached me. At first I was like no but then I started thinking about it and it makes sense. Even though I didn't have an immediate attraction with him there was and is something there. I do get fed up with him sometimes but there is a stronger bond there. As we always had the same tastes as each other which was why we were friends we still enjoy spending time with each other, that hasn't changed at all. I sometimes still think this is weird but there is a stronger connection with him than with others.
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
    Just tell her how you feel. She just might be your soulmate.
  • Misalayne
    Misalayne Posts: 84 Member
    Married my bf from high school, our 23rd anniversary in this weekend. You won't know til you try.
  • nas24
    nas24 Posts: 880 Member
    Never understood this stigma about relationships ruining friendships. Imo, if you're not married to your best friend, then you married the wrong person.

    THIS!

    I 2nd that!! I always thought it was weird when people said i married my best friend, now i totally get it!
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    So do I wait until 4 months from now when will see each other, or find a way to tell her now??
  • directorj
    directorj Posts: 537 Member
    I had this feeling and it didn't go well and I feel stupid for even feeling that way. This girl and I were best friends for about 8 years and I finally admitted it after all those years. She didn't feel the same but it got off my chest but I still had the feeling inside. It ruined a lot of my dating because you're in the position of having someone there and your date would probably think she's your girlfriend.

    Eventually after a long time I got over it. It ended badly not because I admitted it to her but for other reasons. I'm happy I just got over it and I haven't seen her for years. I did bump into her once but I avoided it in fear the feeling might come back
  • directorj
    directorj Posts: 537 Member
    So do I wait until 4 months from now when will see each other, or find a way to tell her now??

    To answer your question, from someone who was once in the situation, take her out to dinner then spit it out. I hung out with my best friend had dinner but not until all the way to the end, I finally let it out. It was so damn hard to do it but it made me feel better.

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