How do you handle the shame/embarrassment?

Bevigal

Congratulations you are doing great !!! I have had weight issues most of my life, on and off. This may sound strange but I have never really let my weight be a huge issue. When I walk in a room I hold my head up high, smile and say "HELLO". I am not ashamed for being human and making human mistakes. I like me and I know who I am and what I am about and I simply do not let others pull me down. I am a loving caring person and I have been blessed with many friends that accept me for who I am. I am on this weight loss journey solely for my health and well being. I pray that you stop feeling shamed and embarrassed...may God bless you on your journey.

islandnutshel

I remember that there is people I love and admire and respect and think are so beautiful, that are or have been overwieght. If I can see this in others, then is everyone else shallow?
People see you, not just your body.

Travelfixer

So maybe I'm alone in this, I don't really know. For years and years I've been bogged down with the humiliation and embarrassment of being overweight. Of not having clothes fit properly, of not looking the right way, of the bullying that accompanies being fat when you're a teenager.

But this is the first time that it hit me...how in the world did I eat so much that I ballooned up to 260 pounds? How many calories must I have consumed in a day for it to get that bad? 1500 calories a day is PLENTY of food. I eat delicious things and I'm not hungry.

I'm not one to be depressed, but this is really getting to me. I'm so ashamed and humiliated and I've spent a couple of days feeling terrible.

So if you've ever felt this way, what did you do to shake the feeling of inadequacy? The last thing I want is my own pessimism ruining what I have going here.

For the record, I've lost 34 pounds so far.

It's not just being overweight, I was terribly underweight as a kid, got teased terribly all through school, had no confidence, hated it, my legs were so thin, still have abit of a complex, never wore dresses, or did things like dance because I felt so bad about myself! Now I'm trying to lose weight! Just remember, no matter how confident you think other people are, they really aren't, nearly everyone has something to be insecure about, we all want to be liked . I took a course once about this sort of thing and after discussion the one thing every one felt in some way or another was inadequate. So your not alone, 99% of people most people feel the same way at some point!

kdeaux1959

So maybe I'm alone in this, I don't really know. For years and years I've been bogged down with the humiliation and embarrassment of being overweight. Of not having clothes fit properly, of not looking the right way, of the bullying that accompanies being fat when you're a teenager.

But this is the first time that it hit me...how in the world did I eat so much that I ballooned up to 260 pounds? How many calories must I have consumed in a day for it to get that bad? 1500 calories a day is PLENTY of food. I eat delicious things and I'm not hungry.

I'm not one to be depressed, but this is really getting to me. I'm so ashamed and humiliated and I've spent a couple of days feeling terrible.

So if you've ever felt this way, what did you do to shake the feeling of inadequacy? The last thing I want is my own pessimism ruining what I have going here.

For the record, I've lost 34 pounds so far.

No need to feel depressed about this... YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT... That is cause for rejoicing and feeling good about what you are doing.... You cannot change yesterday.. It has already happened.... focus on today and that will change your tomorrow!

sexymermaidbarbie

Hey I hope I'm not going to sound annoying (to some) but do you pray? I find it helps for me

No you are not being annoying at all, at least not to me and yes i pray and im in constant prayer about somethings! it is awesome! God Bless

Travelfixer

I have always struggled with being easily embarrassed/mortified over stuff very easily. For the most part, unless it is something really severe, like obvious, sudden, public humiliation severe (which is super rare at worst), things don't get to me very much any more. The biggest reason is that if it is a circumstance that would have once really upset me, I reason it out. Can I really do anything about it at this point by suffering over it needlessly? Probably not. Making myself miserable over it is pointless and doesn't help the situation. Does anyone else really care as much as I do? 99.999% of the time, probably not. And does it really matter if someone else DOES care? Nope. What does it matter if it changes someone else's opinion of me? If someone is that shallow, I don't need them anyway. Take whatever situation you are ashamed of, examine it critically, learn from it so it will never happen again and at the same time leave you a better person for your experience, and move on. Forgive yourself.

I also have to remind myself that my imagination is often much worse than the actual reality. Imagination can distort very easily, so what you imagine how others see and think of you probably isn't close to reality.

So very true!

TNFirefly

At 5'5" I hit 458 pounds. I can't get my head around that number. I can't understand how it happened. The shame has been enough to keep me from facing it for a long time. That of course, only compounds the issue. So I am making small steps. I started a food plan with a 12 step food addiction program (CEAHOW - google if interested) and am working through the issues that helped me get there. When I do my work and work my program, the shame lifts because I am taking responsibility. I am no longer eating for stress, fear or shame. I am eating my planned meals, and starting to learn how to live my life and not mix the two. You are not alone.

letitbeatles9

Instead of feeling inadequate, I think you have reason to be incredibly proud of yourself! No one is perfect; everyone has some reason to strive for self-improvement. Know what sets you apart, though? You have the courage and willpower to work hard toward improving yourself. And it's paying off! The amount of weight you've lost is no small feat! I've had those same feelings and that's what I tell myself.

becky3277

I am 5'2.5 and I used to weigh 207+lbs. I say + because I got so depressed at one point that I stopped weighing in. 207 was the highest number I ever saw on my scale. I couldn't walk downstairs in my own house without my heart beating out of my chest. I literally could not walk around one block without enduring terrible leg cramps and taking my asthma inhaler. I would watch the skinny lady down the block walk circles around me and it would depress me so much I almost quit walking altogether.
ALMOST...but I didn't.
I am now 151lbs (my goal is a muscled 128). Yet, sometimes I am still that other woman. I still feel this shame come over me. How did I let that happen? Why did I let it go on for so long? What if it happens AGAIN? What did people think of me for allowing that to happen?
Then I remember how far I have come, how many lessons I've learned along the way. I know more now. I've educated myself. I've worked hard to get to this point. I've EARNED this and I DESERVE every good thing that comes with it.

You have lost 34 lbs! You EARNED that success and DESERVE every GOOD thing that comes with it. You are not that other person anymore. You have embarked on a new and exciting path. Every day will teach you something new about how strong you are. It only gets better, let me tell you.

And that skinny lady who walked circles around me? One day she stopped me on the street (I didn't even know her) and told me that I inspired her so much, that I was the reason she got out to walk every morning. Because she saw my dedication and admired ME. Isn't that awesome?

Love you my planking friend!!!! You're amazing!!