Online Dating.. ugh

sallywilson06

Yes I went there.. If you don't want to listen to me vent I suggest you stop reading now..!!!

I am currently on an online dating site and had the courage to message a guy in my area that seemed like we had similar interests, we talked for about 3 days straight.. then he tells me.. No Offense, but you're not fit enough for me to date. He likes girls that are super sporty and athletic.. which I am not.

I got huffy but decided at least he was honest with me and I told him that I am trying to lose weight and that I have struggled with it my whole life. I decided to keep talking to him with no intentions of dating but just talking to for fitness advice and chatting.. He wasn't all that bad..

After I got done at the gym last night he was texting me asking how my workout went and I told him I'm going to get in the shower.. "He's like wait for me...!! " so I told him he would NEVER see my A** naked because he dismissed me the way I am now. Then he was like Ohh what if I whip you into shape..??

I guess I am just annoyed, he tells me that I am very pretty and that he was happy that I messaged him but wouldn't date someone like me because I'm not in the best of shape..

Has anyone else gotten this sort of stuff from being on there?

ItsCasey

I don't think it's wrong that he only wants to date very fit women. That's a personal preference, and everyone has some. But he is a jerk for basically saying "I won't date you, but I'd bang you in the shower."

You should joing the Single Peeps group. Lots of experienced online daters there.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/282-single-peeps

chachita7

you should have responded - "you can whip me in to shape for someone who values who I am regardless of what I look like"

porcelain_doll

I had someone message me once and ask if I had any friends he could write to. :huh:

I wouldn't correspond with that guy anymore, by the way. He doesn't deserve your time. You are too sweet of a girl.

KCoolBeanz

Since you kept on corresponding, he's going to just keep it up at his convenience. You don't need that garbage. Find someone who digs you for who you are :-)

daveclrk58

Sorry that happened to you. Not a very nice thing to do at all. There is nothing wrong with you, so don't sweat him. Keep on, keepin' on!!

rossi02

To be honest, I'd feel the way you mentioned. I would let him know he's friend zoned with no hope of ever getting promoted. I mean really, would you want to be in a relationship and always have it in the back of your mind.. what if something happened and I gained weight.. would he be out the door? Plus, I agree with the quote that's been blasted on all social networks from Marilyn Monroe.. if you can't handle me at my worst, you sure as he(( don't deserve me at my best.

Danielle_2013

Apparently you live in Vancouver, BC? I hear this kind of stuff from my single friends pretty often! You are good enough to text with, possibly good enough for a booty call at some point, but not good enough to date. He'll message you flirty things when he's lonely, but that's about it! It has nothing to do with your body or how fit he likes his women - he's a player. Delete his texts, number and block his dating profile. Save yourself the mind games. :flowerforyou: (You are very pretty by the way)
Another tip that I swear by even though it sounds old fashioned - if a guy likes you, he'll make the effort and message/text/call/see you. I wouldn't ever message men first. They'll be flattered probably, but you want someone who is actually interested in you! Don't settle for "he wasn't all that bad..."

thomassd1969

I did have a guy tell me this but he was a marathon runner and wanted someone similiar. He told me after we email a couple times just to be honest with me. I didnt take offense to it but yours is somewhat different.

sallywilson06

Apparently you live in Vancouver, BC? I hear this kind of stuff from my single friends pretty often! You are good enough to text with, possibly good enough for a booty call at some point, but not good enough to date. He'll message you flirty things when he's lonely, but that's about it! It has nothing to do with your body or how fit he likes his women - he's a player. Delete his texts, number and block his dating profile. Save yourself the mind games. :flowerforyou: (You are very pretty by the way)
Another tip that I swear by even though it sounds old fashioned - if a guy likes you, he'll make the effort and message/text/call/see you. I wouldn't ever message men first. They'll be flattered probably, but you want someone who is actually interested in you! Don't settle for "he wasn't all that bad..."

Thanks, Yea he's asked me to hang out with him a couple of times and I have distanced myself from him since he said what he said and still he keeps e-mailing and texting daily.. I guess I just don't get it.

chrishgt4

You played hard to get is what happened...

KCoolBeanz

The bottom line, is that if you're getting a "skeezy" feeling from him, trust your gut.

weighlossforbaby

If he can't get accept you right now he doesn't deserve you. I am sorry you met someone like that.

jad54

You should try this site. Lots of keepers here.

http://www.meet-an-inmate.com/


In all seriousness, good luck on your journey. That guys sounds like a guy that thinks he has game, but in reality (where most of us reside), he turns to internet porn on the reg.

daveclrk58

Apparently you live in Vancouver, BC? I hear this kind of stuff from my single friends pretty often! You are good enough to text with, possibly good enough for a booty call at some point, but not good enough to date. He'll message you flirty things when he's lonely, but that's about it! It has nothing to do with your body or how fit he likes his women - he's a player. Delete his texts, number and block his dating profile. Save yourself the mind games. :flowerforyou: (You are very pretty by the way)
Another tip that I swear by even though it sounds old fashioned - if a guy likes you, he'll make the effort and message/text/call/see you. I wouldn't ever message men first. They'll be flattered probably, but you want someone who is actually interested in you! Don't settle for "he wasn't all that bad..."

Thanks, Yea he's asked me to hang out with him a couple of times and I have distanced myself from him since he said what he said and still he keeps e-mailing and texting daily.. I guess I just don't get it.

He's holding out hope that you'll be a booty call. Nothing more. Delete him off your list, off your phone, and out of your life!

SofaKingRad

Good for you. If he doesn't like you now, then why give it up to him?

Try craigslist casual encounters. Lots of legit people who are far less judgemental on who responds to ads.

gympamela

Been there, done that. I have been told Im too fat, not pretty enough, dont make enough money Etc etc....hang in there and dont let yourself become a booty call HUGS

GB333

Yikes! He sounds like trouble. I think I would cut communication with him.

But stick with it - online dating does work. I met my husband on eHarmony! (I highly recommend eHarmony over the rest, as well. They are worth the more expensive price!)

TexanThom

Just goes to show you.....Fools are everywhere.

lcashy

There are decent men out there on dating sites. Imet mine on one, nearly 4 years ago. Now we are engaged to be married. Sometimes you have gotta kiss frogs before you find your Prince Charming. As a previous poster said though, go with your gut instinct xx

RikanSoulja

I see what he did there. He said your not fit enough to date but never said you weren't fit enough for other activities.

amymeenieminymo

Unfortunately his rude comments are due to his personality and not the fact that you met him online. I mean yeah there are some creepers out there, but that's true of meeting guys in the real world too.

I didn't end up with anyone I met online, but I did meet a few guys from online sites and aside from how we initially met, I don't see how anything would have worked out differently had I met them any other way. So don't give up on it!

But my story is, I met this guy online once, we chatted a few times and met in person. I didn't like him at all, but he was very pushy and ended up talking me into going out with him a few more times (though to me it was not a date). We were talking online one day and I mentioned how I would love to get invisalign because my teeth are a little spaced apart. He goes, "Yeah unfortunately that was one of the first things I noticed about you". I blocked him right then and there and never spoke to him again. And for the record my teeth must not be that bad since I managed to snag a husband anyway and he's 10 million times hotter than that guy was :laugh:

leannems

I agree with a lot that has already been said. I don't think it was necessarily bad for him to be up front that he didn't want to date (although I completely empathize with you on how it must have felt - it sucks), but I think he decided that since you kept talking to him, he could maybe convert you to a booty call. So someone he can sleep with but never has to take out in public.

If you want to keep talking to him just as friends, then I would tell him to cut out the flirting because he's in the friend zone with no hope of getting out. And maybe you're up for just a booty call thing, although to be honest - when I was in that stage of my life, I usually picked the guys, and told them up front that it was what it was. I don't think my pride could deal with booty calling with a guy who said I wasn't good enough to date, even though I was doing the same thing in reverse. Funny how we can dish it out but not take it.

Not all online dating is bad though!

bradthemedic

He's a grade A fartknocker. Even if you were well fit and confident you should never date a guy like that.

The dating scene blows.

sallywilson06

Been there, done that. I have been told Im too fat, not pretty enough, dont make enough money Etc etc....hang in there and dont let yourself become a booty call HUGS

I get told "you're soo pretty, but your too heavy" Thats my all time favorite or the your not hott enough for me to date, but hey if you just want to lie down and screw me I'm fine with that.. Obviously I don't speak to these *kitten* anymore, but I feel ya there..

saragato

Frankly these guys aren't just on dating sites. You're gonna find sh*tbags in and out of the internet when you're in the dating scene and actively looking. The only difference is online or over the phone you can't get the joy of kicking them and hoping you ruined their ability to procreate. Tell him to try and bang himself in the shower and block his number and email, that's a headache that's not worth it.

All you can do is learn from it and keep on going.

rlwinton

First of all, from looking at you I would consider you fit and active, so his standards are trash - and when you get to that slammin body that you are dreaming of then he'll be droolin over you and you'll be over it. I would never give someone the time of day who wouldn't back when I weighed 20-30 lbs more, honestly!
One thing I figured out on my own journey is that people never paid attention to what I was sweatin over (if only my stomach was flat, etc etc) but when my confidence soared, so did interest from others.
This guy sounds like dirt - get rid of him! Plenty of men who would be all over you - not only for a one nighter....

Grimmerick

you should have responded - "you can whip me in to shape for someone who values who I am regardless of what I look like"

could not possibly have said it better than this

kurenaikumo

Props for the honesty, booo for the untactful way it was done. Look, we all have certain preferences, and anyone who says they don't would be lying. There are 283398748327489347 other fish in the sea, why be hung up on this one, which is clearly not cut out for you for whatever reason. As Eazy E would say "throw it in the gutter, and go find another"...

sallywilson06

I agree with a lot that has already been said. I don't think it was necessarily bad for him to be up front that he didn't want to date (although I completely empathize with you on how it must have felt - it sucks), but I think he decided that since you kept talking to him, he could maybe convert you to a booty call. So someone he can sleep with but never has to take out in public.

If you want to keep talking to him just as friends, then I would tell him to cut out the flirting because he's in the friend zone with no hope of getting out. And maybe you're up for just a booty call thing, although to be honest - when I was in that stage of my life, I usually picked the guys, and told them up front that it was what it was. I don't think my pride could deal with booty calling with a guy who said I wasn't good enough to date, even though I was doing the same thing in reverse. Funny how we can dish it out but not take it.

Not all online dating is bad though!

It's not that he doesn't want to take me out in public though, he asked to take me to lunch yesterday so I don't think its like that too much..

sherrirb

Apparently you live in Vancouver, BC? I hear this kind of stuff from my single friends pretty often! You are good enough to text with, possibly good enough for a booty call at some point, but not good enough to date. He'll message you flirty things when he's lonely, but that's about it! It has nothing to do with your body or how fit he likes his women - he's a player. Delete his texts, number and block his dating profile. Save yourself the mind games. :flowerforyou: (You are very pretty by the way)
Another tip that I swear by even though it sounds old fashioned - if a guy likes you, he'll make the effort and message/text/call/see you. I wouldn't ever message men first. They'll be flattered probably, but you want someone who is actually interested in you! Don't settle for "he wasn't all that bad..."

I would have to agree with this post except one thing. I met my husband through an online dating site 6 years ago. I messaged him initially. He had met someone and wanted to see where it would go and was kind and thanked me for my interest. I forgot about him. 3 months later I came across his profile again and sent him a message, having totally forgotten about the first time I messaged him. It had not worked out with the other woman he had already met. I gave him my phone number and I swear, from that time on, I NEVER had to call him, he ALWAYS called me..... and called me when he said he would.

After we were engaged, I read a book called, "He's just not that into you" which I would Totally recommend for ANY single lady out there today. One of the first things it talked about was if he likes you, if he is genuine, he will call you. You should not waste your time calling him, if he isnt calling when he said he would, drop him. Secondly, if he is flirty with you privately but wont date you openly, drop him. He's just not that into you and you are wasting your time.

Get that book, I dont know if the movie was based on the book at all or not but here is a link to the book on Amazon It is COMPLETELY worth it and is a funny read as well:
http://www.amazon.com/Hes-Just-That-Into-Understanding/dp/068987474X