Attachment parenting and that Time cover...

bethc370

The more I'm reading about this woman Jamie Lynne...I dunno:huh: , I would say it's none of my blasted business BUT she is on THE COVER OF TIME MAGAZINE :indifferent:

I found this blog she wrote/posted report called "Nurse-In at Target"... turns out she has an adopted son, who she also nurses sometime...he's 5 years old! Here's the article...it's alarming/disturbing to me (for some ODD reason). Here's an excerpt and a pic from the blog article she wrote Dec. 2011...

Nurse-In at Target in Los Angeles – Operation: Normalize Breastfeeding
http://momsla.com/author/jamie-lynne/


"We adopted our second son from Ethiopia. He was a month shy of his fourth birthday when he came home. We found out soon after he arrived home his mother had breastfed him right up until he entered the orphanage (at 3.5 years old.) From my own experience breastfeeding, my heart broke even more for him. Not only did he lose his mother (the most important and present person to him at that time), he lost his language, his country, and the only thing that would provide true comfort to him- breastfeeding. My son did not have a pacifier or a blankie that could soothe him.

My son came home only speaking Sidamic and a little Amharic. He saw me breastfeeding his brother one day and was interested. I asked him if he wanted to nurse and he nodded his head. I cannot tell you how much this action provided the comfort that my child needed. It aided in both of our attachment to each other. It also solidified his place in the family. My biological son saw that he was his equal, and my adopted son understood that he was just as important as his brother.

It is easy to judge things we don’t understand. I want to encourage everyone to keep an open mind about breastfeeding. Whether it be breastfeeding in public (cover or no cover), adoptive breastfeeding, or even extended breastfeeding. It may not be right for your family, but it might be the saving grace in another family. As mothers, we need to encourage each other to make the right decisions for our children.

Jamie is a Los Angeles Mom Blogger. Her personal blog is I Am Not The Babysitter! – and she coauthors Mommy Hates Chemicals

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Also check out this article called: Who is Jamie Lynne Grumet
http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/340083/20120511/jamie-lynne-grumet-time-magazine-breastfeeding-cover.htm?page=2


:huh: I nursed all of my children, the last one for 20 months, so I'm no "prude" when it comes to nursing your children...but something is scary about this chick to me. I also saw a Good Morning America or the Today's Show program with her and the little man on there, and it was extremely disturbing to me too. Not just the mom, but how the mom was reacting to the boy, and the little boys behavior... Here's the clip in case you didn't see it:



http://www.wptv.com/dpp/news/local_news/water_cooler/today-show-interviews-jamie-lynne-grumet-time-magazine-cover-mother-with-3-year-old-breastfeeding

What's "scary" to you? That she chose to breast feed her adoptive son? To foster a beautiful attachment that is very difficult to make in an adoption situation like that? I'm confused.
I adoptive breast fed my son, but maybe it's less scary to you since my son was 2 days old when he was placed with us.

Please clarify what part is so "scary to you."

ChrissyLpwe

The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for a minimum of 3 years. I practiced child lead weaning as did most people I know. However, I do not live in the US.

I also practiced attachment parenting which was not invented by Dr. Sears as the article implies but has been the normal method of parenting for thousands of years and is the most usual way of parenting in non-westernized cultures.

Having said that - I have no problem with how people chose to parent their children. What works for my family won't work for yours and whats right for yours won't be right for the next family and so on and so on.

I am the expert at parenting MY children. No one elses.

What I hate about that article is that it is setting up the mommy wars. We are competitive enough with each other and I hate that it is looking to shoot down each other. As mothers we should be looking to build each other up because lets face it - its a damn tough job.

I also hate that picture. Seriously. They are trying to create controversy and I guess they've done it but they have a chosen a thin, beautiful hipster type mother, a large (thats a tall 3 year old) BOY looking at the camera and exposed her chest and posed them to get people talking. If they showed her cradling her child nursing him, it wouldn't have created the same buzz.

And the title "Are you Mom enough?".....don't get me started.

Well said. I did not breast feed or do not know what type of parenting I use. But the picture is inaccurate and I really think parents who I know follow this method should be upset by how it conveys you. I have not read the article and will not. due to the controversy.

micls

I'm shocked by the people who chose not to believe well documented facts because it makes them feel weird to see an older kid nursing.

'I don't believe it because I think it's icky'.....

atjays

YUCK.

That poor kid will suffer later on with that photo. Some people are total narcissists.

o yeah...that kid is screwed. better start the psych appointments now.

My thoughts exactly.

I personally think 3 is far too long to be breast feeding. I know mom's get attached to their kids and don't want them to grow up and such but some of these stories of breast feeding from 3-6+ years old is appalling. Breastfeeding provides zero extra benefits past the age of 12 months and once the child is becoming self aware of it's enviroment, differences in genders and basic morals of right/wrong, you're only damaging them psychologically in the long run. To be fair the kids face should have been blurred or turned away. With all the buzz about bullying in schools nowdays, she's going to be directly responsible for him getting constantly picked on and teased because there's pictures of him latched on his mom's chest.

micls

Breastfeeding provides zero extra benefits past the age of 12 months

This is a lie. People have posted facts that show this in this very thread. So either you're simply ignorant of the facts, or intentionally spreading nonsense.

InnerFatGirl

YUCK.

That poor kid will suffer later on with that photo. Some people are total narcissists.

o yeah...that kid is screwed. better start the psych appointments now.

My thoughts exactly.

I personally think 3 is far too long to be breast feeding. I know mom's get attached to their kids and don't want them to grow up and such but some of these stories of breast feeding from 3-6+ years old is appalling. Breastfeeding provides zero extra benefits past the age of 12 months and once the child is becoming self aware of it's enviroment, differences in genders and basic morals of right/wrong, you're only damaging them psychologically in the long run. To be fair the kids face should have been blurred or turned away. With all the buzz about bullying in schools nowdays, she's going to be directly responsible for him getting constantly picked on and teased because there's pictures of him latched on his mom's chest.

Seriously? BF'ing has no benefits past the age of one? Please do your research before writing rubbish.

And breastfeeding is rarely about 'not wanting to see them grow up'. Don't insult these women.

You are not psychologically damaging your child, don't be preposterous.

And it's the Mum's fault if the kid gets bullied? Erh, NO. It's the bullies fault for bullying. And, hey, I got bullied for being biracial. Guess it's my Mum's fault for getting with a white guy then. Hey ho.

jmehere

I'm still nursing my 28 month old. We are in the process of getting rid of the nighttime feeding, and weaning in general. He is much more reluctant than my daughter was, who self weaned around the same age. I would continue to nurse, but he has teeth problems, as did my daughter. Daughter's teeth got better after I weaned.

As far as nursing kids who talk... my son started talking very young. Said his first word at 9 months. Was speaking in sentences by the time he was 18 months. He is very well spoken for his age, and remembers all kinds of stuff that surprises me. I am sure he will have memories of nursing. And that doesn't bother me. I don't understand why people think this is going to be traumatic. It's not an abusive situation. It's a natural situation. Saying that you shouldn't nurse a child because they can talk and they will remember insinuates that there is some shame involved in the act of nursing. There is no shame in nursing and no shame in having been nursed. Regardless of whether you can talk and remember or not.

Some have said that the cover insinuates that women who don't nurse, or don't long term nurse aren't "Mom enough." My interpretation of the cover was different. It seemed to me that they were insinuating that there is an army of Dr. Sears followers of who militantly attachment parent, and that they are extreme. Which is a bit insulting to me. Once again, cultural and social bullying at it's finest in our society. I don't tell my friends that don't nurse that they are extreme or that they are doing it wrong. I keep my opinions of their choices to put their babies in a crib to myself. But, I still find myself defending MY choices. Which is annoying. I know that a lot of people wouldn't put up with that crap and they would tell their friends they are doing it wrong and they wouldn't stand being bullied, maybe by reverse bullying. But I prefer to let each do their own thing. We all have opinions about what others are doing with their lives, and it's really just a big waste of time sitting on the sidelines criticizing everyone and everything one can find to criticize. Keeps you from living your own damn life.

piebird79

The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for a minimum of 3 years. I practiced child lead weaning as did most people I know. However, I do not live in the US.

I also practiced attachment parenting which was not invented by Dr. Sears as the article implies but has been the normal method of parenting for thousands of years and is the most usual way of parenting in non-westernized cultures.

Having said that - I have no problem with how people chose to parent their children. What works for my family won't work for yours and whats right for yours won't be right for the next family and so on and so on.

I am the expert at parenting MY children. No one elses.

What I hate about that article is that it is setting up the mommy wars. We are competitive enough with each other and I hate that it is looking to shoot down each other. As mothers we should be looking to build each other up because lets face it - its a damn tough job.

I also hate that picture. Seriously. They are trying to create controversy and I guess they've done it but they have a chosen a thin, beautiful hipster type mother, a large (thats a tall 3 year old) BOY looking at the camera and exposed her chest and posed them to get people talking. If they showed her cradling her child nursing him, it wouldn't have created the same buzz.

And the title "Are you Mom enough?".....don't get me started.

Here, here! I couldn't agree more. My girls self-weaned at 19 and 20 months respectively and I'll let my son nurse as long as he likes. I'm well aware that my style of parenting isn't for everyone. I agree, the composition of the photo was designed specifically to rile people up.

umachanxo

They wanted to sell the magazine and stir up attention. It worked.

I don't think it would matter what my opinion was, either. The wars about breast feeding will most likely always be around. One Mom thinks she knows all and what's best, and so does another one, etc.

TrishJimenez

So opinions people....
What do you all think of this: http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/time-magazines-breastfeeding-cover-moms-react-185700989.html?

For those of you that breasfed, when did you wean? For those of you that didn't, why not?

I think the way the pic was posed was a bit much and don't really think its necessary to breastfeed a child until he or she is 3, not in Western society. I think that most of us, even those of us like myself in the working classes, have adequate food to provide our children. That being said, if someone chooses to breastfeed that late...then so be it.

Anyway, whatcha all think?

I breastfed all 3 of my children for a minimum of one year. My first two weaning right around the 12 month mark. My youngest I breastfed a little longer. Mostly because he was still nursing A LOT instead of doing self weaning like my older two. And we moved across country right around his 1rst birthday so I am pretty sure he was around 15 months old when I weaned him. And he was still nursing A lot at that time. I also knew he was my last child. That I was not going to have any more so I think that is also why I nursed him a little longer. Because my children are breastfed I do think this is partly why they are at a healthy weight and not fighting the childhood obesity that is plaguing the country

theladyy

I've already stated my thoughts on this, but I will answer your questions.

I wasn't breastfed, but my siblings were until what is considered a normal age in the US. The reason I wasn't (well, it was VERY little) is because apparently I just didn't like the milk. I was a picky eater since the day I was born...:laugh:

Rhea30

I always find it amusing when a person states how they were breastfed this long or their kids were and how healthy their children are, as if its some type of proof to their way. What's amusing about this is for every person claiming this is why their child is so well balanced you have a child who was formula fed, or breastfed shortly or what not who are just as well balanced and healthy.

InnerFatGirl

I'm still nursing my 28 month old. We are in the process of getting rid of the nighttime feeding, and weaning in general. He is much more reluctant than my daughter was, who self weaned around the same age. I would continue to nurse, but he has teeth problems, as did my daughter. Daughter's teeth got better after I weaned.

As far as nursing kids who talk... my son started talking very young. Said his first word at 9 months. Was speaking in sentences by the time he was 18 months. He is very well spoken for his age, and remembers all kinds of stuff that surprises me. I am sure he will have memories of nursing. And that doesn't bother me. I don't understand why people think this is going to be traumatic. It's not an abusive situation. It's a natural situation. Saying that you shouldn't nurse a child because they can talk and they will remember insinuates that there is some shame involved in the act of nursing. There is no shame in nursing and no shame in having been nursed. Regardless of whether you can talk and remember or not.

Some have said that the cover insinuates that women who don't nurse, or don't long term nurse aren't "Mom enough." My interpretation of the cover was different. It seemed to me that they were insinuating that there is an army of Dr. Sears followers of who militantly attachment parent, and that they are extreme. Which is a bit insulting to me. Once again, cultural and social bullying at it's finest in our society. I don't tell my friends that don't nurse that they are extreme or that they are doing it wrong. I keep my opinions of their choices to put their babies in a crib to myself. But, I still find myself defending MY choices. Which is annoying. I know that a lot of people wouldn't put up with that crap and they would tell their friends they are doing it wrong and they wouldn't stand being bullied, maybe by reverse bullying. But I prefer to let each do their own thing. We all have opinions about what others are doing with their lives, and it's really just a big waste of time sitting on the sidelines criticizing everyone and everything one can find to criticize. Keeps you from living your own damn life.

This.

budhandy

even though I got some good size moobs I honestly cant have an opion what its like to breast feed, that being said i can have opion about observing. I really think its a personal choice and there really nothing wrong it. like other have said the cover is for shock and awe but it happens and the kids not getting hurt by it, something tells me he is used to doing it lol. Now my wife stopped producing milk 2 weeks after my youngest was born. Does that make her any less of a mom, hell no. Bottle feed or breast feed, do what you do!

roachhaley

I dont care what people do with their own kids, but "are you mom enough" is REALLY insulting to people who cannot/choose not to breastfeed. honestly. are they not real moms because they stopped producing milk?

my aunt breastfed my cousin until she was about 3. the only issue with it i had was that she was being constantly interrupted to feed her child who could eat solid food on her own, and the child was also VERY VERY dependent on it. like, she would throw a FIT if she didn't get her some boobie. my aunt is taiwanese, but i dont know if breastfeeding past infancy is common.

dmpizza

What do I think of the cover?
-A) Its creepy
-B) that woman is very very pretty.

As far as discussing breast feeding? We are mammals, that defines us, that's like discussing "lungs versus gills".
As far as 3 year olds breast feeding, its obviously wrong because of one thing "teeth".

END OF DISCUSSION.

jmehere

What do I think of the cover?
-A) Its creepy
-B) that woman is very very pretty.

As far as discussing breast feeding? We are mammals, that defines us, that's like discussing "lungs versus gills".
As far as 3 year olds breast feeding, its obviously wrong because of one thing "teeth".

END OF DISCUSSION.

Kids usually have at least 1 tooth by the time they are 1. You can teach them not to bite if they are biters.

NewLIFEstyle4ME

The more I'm reading about this woman Jamie Lynne...I dunno:huh: , I would say it's none of my blasted business BUT she is on THE COVER OF TIME MAGAZINE :indifferent:

I found this blog she wrote/posted report called "Nurse-In at Target"... turns out she has an adopted son, who she also nurses sometime...he's 5 years old! Here's the article...it's alarming/disturbing to me (for some ODD reason). Here's an excerpt and a pic from the blog article she wrote Dec. 2011...

Nurse-In at Target in Los Angeles – Operation: Normalize Breastfeeding
http://momsla.com/author/jamie-lynne/


"We adopted our second son from Ethiopia. He was a month shy of his fourth birthday when he came home. We found out soon after he arrived home his mother had breastfed him right up until he entered the orphanage (at 3.5 years old.) From my own experience breastfeeding, my heart broke even more for him. Not only did he lose his mother (the most important and present person to him at that time), he lost his language, his country, and the only thing that would provide true comfort to him- breastfeeding. My son did not have a pacifier or a blankie that could soothe him.

My son came home only speaking Sidamic and a little Amharic. He saw me breastfeeding his brother one day and was interested. I asked him if he wanted to nurse and he nodded his head. I cannot tell you how much this action provided the comfort that my child needed. It aided in both of our attachment to each other. It also solidified his place in the family. My biological son saw that he was his equal, and my adopted son understood that he was just as important as his brother.

It is easy to judge things we don’t understand. I want to encourage everyone to keep an open mind about breastfeeding. Whether it be breastfeeding in public (cover or no cover), adoptive breastfeeding, or even extended breastfeeding. It may not be right for your family, but it might be the saving grace in another family. As mothers, we need to encourage each other to make the right decisions for our children.

Jamie is a Los Angeles Mom Blogger. Her personal blog is I Am Not The Babysitter! – and she coauthors Mommy Hates Chemicals

****************************




*****************************



Also check out this article called: Who is Jamie Lynne Grumet
http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/340083/20120511/jamie-lynne-grumet-time-magazine-breastfeeding-cover.htm?page=2


:huh: I nursed all of my children, the last one for 20 months, so I'm no "prude" when it comes to nursing your children...but something is scary about this chick to me. I also saw a Good Morning America or the Today's Show program with her and the little man on there, and it was extremely disturbing to me too. Not just the mom, but how the mom was reacting to the boy, and the little boys behavior... Here's the clip in case you didn't see it:



http://www.wptv.com/dpp/news/local_news/water_cooler/today-show-interviews-jamie-lynne-grumet-time-magazine-cover-mother-with-3-year-old-breastfeeding

What's "scary" to you? That she chose to breast feed her adoptive son? To foster a beautiful attachment that is very difficult to make in an adoption situation like that? I'm confused.
I adoptive breast fed my son, but maybe it's less scary to you since my son was 2 days old when he was placed with us.

Please clarify what part is so "scary to you."

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Jamie Lynne said;

""We adopted our second son from Ethiopia. He was a month shy of his fourth birthday when he came home. We found out soon after he arrived home his mother had breastfed him right up until he entered the orphanage (at 3.5 years old.) From my own experience breastfeeding, my heart broke even more for him. Not only did he lose his mother (the most important and present person to him at that time), he lost his language, his country, and the only thing that would provide true comfort to him- breastfeeding. My son did not have a pacifier or a blankie that could soothe him.

My son came home only speaking Sidamic and a little Amharic. He saw me breastfeeding his brother one day and was interested. I asked him if he wanted to nurse and he nodded his head. I cannot tell you how much this action provided the comfort that my child needed. It aided in both of our attachment to each other. It also solidified his place in the family. My biological son saw that he was his equal, and my adopted son understood that he was just as important as his brother."

****************

THIS is scary to me. nursing a wee darling 2 day old adoptive son is adorable to me...totally NOT scary. Nursing an adoptive 4 year old...:sick: is...ummmm, scary to me--meaning:

scar·y/ˈske(ə)rē/
Adjective:

1. Frightening; causing fear: "a scary movie".
2. Uncannily striking or surprising.

# 2 definition of scary...Uncannily striking or surprising.


. Hope that answers your question.

sleepytexan

I always find it amusing when a person states how they were breastfed this long or their kids were and how healthy their children are, as if its some type of proof to their way. What's amusing about this is for every person claiming this is why their child is so well balanced you have a child who was formula fed, or breastfed shortly or what not who are just as well balanced and healthy.

Yes, this is true, and it is comical.

BTW, I was formula-fed, and I breastfed my children. I am awesome. :laugh:

glennstoudt

For some other versions,

http://www.buzzfeed.com/provincialelitist/time-mag-breast-feeding-meme-is-here

robot_potato

The cover itself was off-putting, and the caption was insulting.

That being said, my oldest was not breastfed. I pumped for her until she was 3. Didn't get much, but I tried. Most of her food was formula until 18 months. She lived the first 4 months of her life in NICU, and has shocked us all by living past her first birthday. she is a happy, healthy, brilliant 7 year old. So yes, I am mom enough.

My son was breastfed until he chose to wean shortly after he turned 3. He is almost 4 now, there is no awkwardness, he is not scarred. It was his choice and mine. His right and mine. Had he needed to nurse longer, I would have allowed it. why deny him, a small person, who is still growing at an anomalytic rate the best source of nutrition and comfort available to him? and FYI, a child, when latched propery, is unable to bite while nursing, regardless of how many teeth they may have. They lose the ability to suckle when they are 7 or 8, because nearly every child would nurse until evolution happened and people became prudes. You want Paleo diet? This is where it starts. .

InnerFatGirl

I always find it amusing when a person states how they were breastfed this long or their kids were and how healthy their children are, as if its some type of proof to their way. What's amusing about this is for every person claiming this is why their child is so well balanced you have a child who was formula fed, or breastfed shortly or what not who are just as well balanced and healthy.

In the same way, I find it amusing how, whenever breastfeeding is mentioned, someone who formula fed comes up with how healthy and smart their children are when the breastfed kid down the road has mutiple problems. Or how their FF Johnny was the top in his class and super healthy while their breastfed first born was sickly and didn't do too well in school.

Or like how, whenever breastfeeding is mentioned, people bring up sexual abuse, the phrase 'to each their own' and how guilty they feel, oh, and also, how much they hate people NIP.

InnerFatGirl

Just wanted to add to those people who claim the woman should pump past a certain age, the best thing to do is not to mess with the supply and demand cycle the baby establishes by pumping. Not only that, but because suckling from a rubber teat is much less work for a baby/child than a real nipple, it happens that they come to prefer the bottle, which may not be the best outcome for mother or child.

Not only these important points, but breastmilk is a biologically active fluid. It adapts to the child and their current needs. To quote an article;

"They also get sick less often since the mother’s body acts as a pharmacy for the baby. If the child picks up a virus their body will desire to nurse more often. The virus will pass through the baby’s saliva, onto the mother’s nipple, and into her body where her immune system will begin to develop antibodies for it. The next time the baby nurses, he will receive more than just milk–the milk will also contain the mother’s antibodies, giving the baby a head start in fighting off the illness before he even gets a chance to show symptoms. This often results in a healthy baby who rarely becomes seriously ill. Breastfed babies have much lower instances of colds, flus, and diarrhea than the average formula fed baby.".

So, yes, breastmilk is great in a cup, but it doesn't serve its proper function, nor is it as much use.

So before you conform to social prejudices and your own closed minded ideas, research about the wonders of our species appropiate milk.

LilynEdensmom

I always find it amusing when a person states how they were breastfed this long or their kids were and how healthy their children are, as if its some type of proof to their way. What's amusing about this is for every person claiming this is why their child is so well balanced you have a child who was formula fed, or breastfed shortly or what not who are just as well balanced and healthy.

I formula fed both my girls from birth to 1 year...They are now 13 and 4..Healthy happy and smart Neither one was ever really sick usually colds and flu nothing major...

The mommy wars are getting old and really kinda stupid. As long as the baby is eating, being loved and cared for isn't that what really matters. You can be a good mom and not breast feed and you can be a good mom and BF till they are 3.