Rants
Dear Husband's truck,
Haven't we given you enough money over the last six months????? You have sooo many new parts that you should be feeling and running great....enough already!!!!:explode:
Dear New Kitten I've adopted,
You are so darn cute.....but this knack you have for wanting to climb my bare legs makes you just a liiiitle annoying. I hold you all the time already, I'm sorry I can't hold you while I get ready for work or eat my dinner too.:noway:
Dear Hubby,
Hangers were created for a reason, you have a closet that many women would be envious of....there's absolutely no reason to hang all of your clothes over the dining room chair.
Now I feel a little better.....anyone else????
Haven't we given you enough money over the last six months????? You have sooo many new parts that you should be feeling and running great....enough already!!!!:explode:
Dear New Kitten I've adopted,
You are so darn cute.....but this knack you have for wanting to climb my bare legs makes you just a liiiitle annoying. I hold you all the time already, I'm sorry I can't hold you while I get ready for work or eat my dinner too.:noway:
Dear Hubby,
Hangers were created for a reason, you have a closet that many women would be envious of....there's absolutely no reason to hang all of your clothes over the dining room chair.
Now I feel a little better.....anyone else????
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Replies
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Dear Petey (MY new kitten) -
Mama loves you so much.. but when its 11:00pm, and you think its play time, Mama needs to sleep. :yawn: So, PLEASE, please.. stop sucking on my ear and licking my hair when I'm in bed. I hate having to kick you out every night. :frown:
Dear Andy (My BF) -
MUST YOU live out of a laundry basket, when you have an entire closet, and TWO dressers?! :noway: Whenever I go to do laundry, I cant tell whats clean and whats dirty. :grumble:
Dear Taco Bell -
Why must you look and sound SOOOOOO freakin yummy?! :sad:
Ok, I'm done. :laugh:0 -
LOL!
Dear Sadie (1 of my cats):
why is kneeding my armpits or belly fat so appealing to you, and why must you do it everynight for 30 minutes?
Dear Simon (my other cat, and a mainecoon):
why is it that you have to sleep next/on my face, so that my nose cannot escape your fur and i get my own hairballs in the morning.... this doesn't make either of us attractive sounding...
Dear Sierra (my 72lb dog)
you are not a lap dog, I don't care what my brother (who rents a room from me) lets you get away with while he sleeps during the day (policeman who works nights).. ie, sleeping in his bed, or snuggling on the couch. You are NOT allowed on the couch, and you will NOT sleep in the bed with me... that spot is for my husband when he returns from deployment.... and stop snoring!... hubby does enough of that for both of you when he is home!
Dear Eric (brother)
Seriously? why can't your dirty dishes make it into the dishwasher from the sink.... why is this my job every afternoon?
Wow! I DO feel better!
Heheh
Ileana0 -
Dear Cable Company-
I hate you. Even though your free cause the cable guy hooked up the internet and didn't block the cable like an idiot, I watch it anyways. It rots my brain and if I watch another 5 minutes of the Michael Jackson memorial circus, I'm gonna shoot myself.
Dear Wife-
If you buy another box of donuts, I'm gonna have to kiss you and then divorce you. Please stop, for the love of God.
Dear Mr. President-
Your awesome and I mean that in the most sarcastic, cynical manner.
Dear Jon & Kate Plus 8-
You make my life feel so easy and perfect. Thanks for the self-esteem booster.
Dear ToeCutter (my motorcycle)-
I love you, but you gave me the worst case of monkey-butt last weekend. I'm still sore and haven't ridden you since. Sorry buddy.0 -
Dear scale:
Why don't you move in the other direction? I know when I purchased you, you worked both directions, now would you please go back to the way you used to be!
Dear Vacation:
Could you please get here a little sooner? I am so ready to go!!! Geting burnt out and need some release!!!
Memaw0 -
Dear Hubby,
Hangers were created for a reason, you have a closet that many women would be envious of....there's absolutely no reason to hang all of your clothes over the dining room chair.
Now I feel a little better.....anyone else????
WAIT A SECOND.... Chairs weren't made for hanging clothes on? In man class that's what they teach us, darn!!!0 -
Dear Petey (MY new kitten) -
Mama loves you so much.. but when its 11:00pm, and you think its play time, Mama needs to sleep. :yawn: So, PLEASE, please.. stop sucking on my ear and licking my hair when I'm in bed. I hate having to kick you out every night. :frown:
Dear Andy (My BF) -
MUST YOU live out of a laundry basket, when you have an entire closet, and TWO dressers?! :noway: Whenever I go to do laundry, I cant tell whats clean and whats dirty. :grumble:
Pretty sure this is me too...my cat wakes me up at 4 in the morning instead and my bf, Andy seems to think that the floor is the biggest shelf in the house for clothes...all sorts!
haha:laugh:0 -
Dear Hubby,
Hangers were created for a reason, you have a closet that many women would be envious of....there's absolutely no reason to hang all of your clothes over the dining room chair.
Now I feel a little better.....anyone else????
WAIT A SECOND.... Chairs weren't made for hanging clothes on? In man class that's what they teach us, darn!!!
I KNEW there was a reason that after 10 yrs of marriage that I can't get him to break this habit.!!!!0 -
Dear Jon & Kate Plus 8-
You make my life feel so easy and perfect. Thanks for the self-esteem booster.
This cracked me up!!!!!!!!0 -
Dear Andy (My BF) -
MUST YOU live out of a laundry basket, when you have an entire closet, and TWO dressers?! :noway: Whenever I go to do laundry, I cant tell whats clean and whats dirty. :grumble:
I have two laundry baskets that were once used to haul laundry from the dryer to the bedroom to fold. Now they house my BFs collection of I'm-really-not -sure-what-is-clean-or-dirty-but-it's-all-too-wrinkled-to-wear-anyway clothes AND he has the cohones to ask if I'll iron his shirt for him...:noway:0 -
I don't know if this belongs here but I need to tell you this, I am off to bed in a minute but need to get it off my chest. (sorry)
Woman said to me in town today after I told her I lost 33 lbs, 'I couldn't diet, I love my food too much' but I just politely laughed it off but what I wanted to say to her, you cheeky cow, how do you think I got so fat in the first place?! Yes I love my food but I have learnt portion control, I still have my delicious dishes but with less fat and more veg. and I work out every day and absolutely enjoy it. I have been fuming about this until writing it 9 hours later. :explode:
But reading back now what I have just told you all, this woman is slightly bigger than what I was.
I am glad I wrote this rant otherwise I just know I would be taking it to bed with me and tossing and turning all night thinking about it.:yawn:
Goodnight fitnesspals, you rock :flowerforyou:
Helen
Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Easy Calorie Counting0 -
I don't know if this belongs here but I need to tell you this, I am off to bed in a minute but need to get it off my chest. (sorry)
Woman said to me in town today after I told her I lost 33 lbs, 'I couldn't diet, I love my food too much' but I just politely laughed it off but what I wanted to say to her, you cheeky cow, how do you think I got so fat in the first place?! Yes I love my food but I have learnt portion control, I still have my delicious dishes but with less fat and more veg. and I work out every day and absolutely enjoy it. I have been fuming about this until writing it 9 hours later. :explode:
But reading back now what I have just told you all, this woman is slightly bigger than what I was.
I am glad I wrote this rant otherwise I just know I would be taking it to bed with me and tossing and turning all night thinking about it.:yawn:
Goodnight fitnesspals, you rock :flowerforyou:
Congratulations on your weight loss. Too bad the other woman didn't realize you're not "on a diet", it's a life style change. We all love our food but we don't have to deprive ourselves. We just have to eat sensibly and get up and exercise. I've discovered a whole range of healthy food that taste delicious so I don't feel deprived at all. Good luck to you. :flowerforyou:
Helen
Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Easy Calorie Counting0 -
Dear Hubby,
Hangers were created for a reason, you have a closet that many women would be envious of....there's absolutely no reason to hang all of your clothes over the dining room chair.
Now I feel a little better.....anyone else????
WAIT A SECOND.... Chairs weren't made for hanging clothes on? In man class that's what they teach us, darn!!!
God help us, men really do all go to the same "charm" school!
:explode:0 -
Honey, Sweety, Doll Baby,......................................QUIT B**CHING AT ME!!!! AT 10:30 AT NIGHT WHEN I AM TIRED AND NEED TO GO TO BED BECAUSE I GET UP AT 5 FOR WORK....AIGGGGHHHGHHGHGH!!!0
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Honey, Sweety, Doll Baby,......................................QUIT B**CHING AT ME!!!! AT 10:30 AT NIGHT WHEN I AM TIRED AND NEED TO GO TO BED BECAUSE I GET UP AT 5 FOR WORK....AIGGGGHHHGHHGHGH!!!
Then take your clothes off the freaking chair! LOL :laugh:0 -
Just weighed myself. AIIGHGHGHGH!!!!
I apparently have gained 5 lbs. Don't know why I have been a good boy and eating less calories than my goal. and exercising more than my goal. I must be retaining some wahwah. My ankles look a little swollen. It sucks being a big Pha-Tass0 -
Dear Swollen Hemorrhoid,
Why are you here? Can you please go away and let me get back to my normal life? I'd like to get some exercise in sometime this century. You're making my life miserable! Even sitting at my desk at work is agonizing. Talk about a pain in the butt:sad:0 -
Dear Swollen Hemorrhoid,
Why are you here? Can you please go away and let me get back to my normal life? I'd like to get some exercise in sometime this century. You're making my life miserable! Even sitting at my desk at work is agonizing. Talk about a pain in the butt:sad:
Hahahaha...:laugh: :laugh:0 -
Honey, Sweety, Doll Baby,......................................QUIT B**CHING AT ME!!!! AT 10:30 AT NIGHT WHEN I AM TIRED AND NEED TO GO TO BED BECAUSE I GET UP AT 5 FOR WORK....AIGGGGHHHGHHGHGH!!!
Then take your clothes off the freaking chair! LOL :laugh:
Amen! :laugh:0 -
I knew this thread would make me smile....these are hilarious!!!!!0
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:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0
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Honey, Sweety, Doll Baby,......................................QUIT B**CHING AT ME!!!! AT 10:30 AT NIGHT WHEN I AM TIRED AND NEED TO GO TO BED BECAUSE I GET UP AT 5 FOR WORK....AIGGGGHHHGHHGHGH!!!
Then take your clothes off the freaking chair! LOL :laugh:
Amen! :laugh:
But we get yelled at when we put them on the floor too... AAHHHH What is a man to do???
Dear closet -- I know its been a while since we met, but last time I looked you were full with the wifey's overflow of clothes. Why can't you be a little bigger so I don't get yelled at anymore? I was just doing what professor manlife coach taugh us...0 -
I got another rant to share....this is way off topic, but it must be stated.
ALERT:::: POSSIBLE MOVIE SPOILERS BELOW (if you've already seen Transformers 2, the only thing being spoiled is Michael Bay's bank account)
Dear Michael Bay-
You suck. You ruined my childhood. You ruined Transformers 2. You disrespected Hasbro. Little gopher decepticon humping the leg of Megan Fox? Are you kidding me? NOT FUNNY and utterly pointless. Dogs humping? Mrs. Whitwikey eating pot-brownies? Transformers with testicles? Transformers urinating on females? Yet another piece of garbage to add to the list of your failed Filmography. I should have learned my lesson after that abomination entitled Armageddon. Then I made another mistake, allowing myself to be subjected to that lifeless, pathetic attempt at recreating Pearl Harbor. But then you threw me a bone with The Island, because you introduced Scarlett Johansson and she was pretty hot. Now she's just another annoying actress reduced to playing the stereotypical date-flick-chick, so not really that impressed anymore. She's looking kinda haggered these days, like she's partying way to much on Sunset Blvd.
Please for the sake of future cinema, you need to join forces with Jerry Fawkenheimer or whatever his name is and get lost on The Island. Don't ever come back.
Leave the Transformers 3 sequel for someone with some real vision and integrity, like Tim Burton or Darren Aronofsky.
I'm done. Screw you hollywood!
best wishes,
sarge0 -
My hubby missed that lesson. His stuff lands were ever he takes em off. For some reason, that doesn't annoy me much, but we're still newlyweds.
Dear Hubby,
Hangers were created for a reason, you have a closet that many women would be envious of....there's absolutely no reason to hang all of your clothes over the dining room chair.
Now I feel a little better.....anyone else????
WAIT A SECOND.... Chairs weren't made for hanging clothes on? In man class that's what they teach us, darn!!!
Dear landscapers,
You are paid to clean up the parking lot. You even have fancy gear that straps to your back so you can blow leaves with ease. You spend a couple LOUD hours swinging hoses around, and after your done, the lot looks the same! Why are you even here?
Dear fishy (cat)
Why do you wait till the middle of the night to play? Why must you jump from my dresser to the window, only to jump on the bed, every 5 minutes? why must you land on my neck each time you jump? Why can't you mess with Daddy for one night and give mommy a break? I would love it if you could.
Thank you. :bigsmile:0 -
Dear Lexie (dog),
Why oh why must you alllwwwayyss think its play time? I understand that you are a Jack Russell and are hyper in nature...but y must you always wait until I am almost asleep to jump about the bed wanting to play..? Moma needs some slllleeeeepppppppp.....
Dear BF.
Why must you pour a glass of something to drink, drink half of it..then put it in the refrigerator and let it sit there for a week? It winds up getting poured out anyway..sooooooooo either pour less drink in the glass or pour the rest out!0 -
Dear back muscles,
You have been hurting me for 5 days now, will you please stop. I have stretched you, slept on the hard floor, gave you medication, but you still insist on hurting me. Please heal the muscle that I pulled so I can feel normal again.
Dear Bike,
I'm sorry I haven't been able to ride you, I miss you so. You sit there unmoved for 5 days and I just know you can't wait to race down the hill to the park again. Hopefully I'll be able to take you out this weekend.
Dear Zoey (my cat)
Please stop puking on the carpet. There is linoleum in both the kitchen and the bathroom, why can't you puke in there?0 -
Dear Zoey (my cat)
Please stop puking on the carpet. There is linoleum in both the kitchen and the bathroom, why can't you puke in there?
OMG that is so my own cat!!!!! He's 8 yrs old and has yet to puke on the bare floor!!!! I've even picked him up to move him when I hear him start his GAAAK sound! He looks at me like "how rude" and promptly moves back to the living room carpet to resume!:explode:0 -
Amen to that! I completely agree with you!0
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Dear student loans,
It's not time for you to start billing me. I'm not ready to start paying you off! 50 some thousand dollars is not something to look forward too when I don't have a real job yet! UGH! Deferrrrrrrr biotch!0 -
Dear People of the world,
When you tell me how great I look after the weight I have lost please do not go into how you haven't lost weight because of this or that or you have been bad cuz you ate this or that or say yeah I've been meaning to go to the gym but haven't made it that way. I mean how am I suppose to respond to that.
Thank you,
Cherie.0 -
Dear student loans,
It's not time for you to start billing me. I'm not ready to start paying you off! 50 some thousand dollars is not something to look forward too when I don't have a real job yet! UGH! Deferrrrrrrr biotch!
hahhaaha, you'd think for 50k you'd get some job placement with that piece of paper. What a rip off.0
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