Rants

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24

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  • chgudnitz
    chgudnitz Posts: 4,079
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    Honey, Sweety, Doll Baby,......................................QUIT B**CHING AT ME!!!! AT 10:30 AT NIGHT WHEN I AM TIRED AND NEED TO GO TO BED BECAUSE I GET UP AT 5 FOR WORK....AIGGGGHHHGHHGHGH!!!

    Then take your clothes off the freaking chair! LOL :laugh:

    Amen! :laugh:

    But we get yelled at when we put them on the floor too... AAHHHH What is a man to do???

    Dear closet -- I know its been a while since we met, but last time I looked you were full with the wifey's overflow of clothes. Why can't you be a little bigger so I don't get yelled at anymore? I was just doing what professor manlife coach taugh us...
  • xsargex
    xsargex Posts: 768
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    I got another rant to share....this is way off topic, but it must be stated.

    ALERT:::: POSSIBLE MOVIE SPOILERS BELOW (if you've already seen Transformers 2, the only thing being spoiled is Michael Bay's bank account)


    Dear Michael Bay-

    You suck. You ruined my childhood. You ruined Transformers 2. You disrespected Hasbro. Little gopher decepticon humping the leg of Megan Fox? Are you kidding me? NOT FUNNY and utterly pointless. Dogs humping? Mrs. Whitwikey eating pot-brownies? Transformers with testicles? Transformers urinating on females? Yet another piece of garbage to add to the list of your failed Filmography. I should have learned my lesson after that abomination entitled Armageddon. Then I made another mistake, allowing myself to be subjected to that lifeless, pathetic attempt at recreating Pearl Harbor. But then you threw me a bone with The Island, because you introduced Scarlett Johansson and she was pretty hot. Now she's just another annoying actress reduced to playing the stereotypical date-flick-chick, so not really that impressed anymore. She's looking kinda haggered these days, like she's partying way to much on Sunset Blvd.

    Please for the sake of future cinema, you need to join forces with Jerry Fawkenheimer or whatever his name is and get lost on The Island. Don't ever come back.

    Leave the Transformers 3 sequel for someone with some real vision and integrity, like Tim Burton or Darren Aronofsky.

    I'm done. Screw you hollywood!

    best wishes,

    sarge
  • Johnnyswife
    Johnnyswife Posts: 1,447 Member
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    Dear Hubby,
    Hangers were created for a reason, you have a closet that many women would be envious of....there's absolutely no reason to hang all of your clothes over the dining room chair.


    Now I feel a little better.....anyone else????

    WAIT A SECOND.... Chairs weren't made for hanging clothes on? In man class that's what they teach us, darn!!!
    My hubby missed that lesson. His stuff lands were ever he takes em off. For some reason, that doesn't annoy me much, but we're still newlyweds.

    Dear landscapers,
    You are paid to clean up the parking lot. You even have fancy gear that straps to your back so you can blow leaves with ease. You spend a couple LOUD hours swinging hoses around, and after your done, the lot looks the same! Why are you even here?
    Dear fishy (cat)
    Why do you wait till the middle of the night to play? Why must you jump from my dresser to the window, only to jump on the bed, every 5 minutes? why must you land on my neck each time you jump? Why can't you mess with Daddy for one night and give mommy a break? I would love it if you could.
    Thank you. :bigsmile:
  • vrdz3215
    vrdz3215 Posts: 493
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    Dear Lexie (dog),

    Why oh why must you alllwwwayyss think its play time? I understand that you are a Jack Russell and are hyper in nature...but y must you always wait until I am almost asleep to jump about the bed wanting to play..? Moma needs some slllleeeeepppppppp.....

    Dear BF.

    Why must you pour a glass of something to drink, drink half of it..then put it in the refrigerator and let it sit there for a week? It winds up getting poured out anyway..sooooooooo either pour less drink in the glass or pour the rest out!
  • amymeenieminymo
    amymeenieminymo Posts: 2,394 Member
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    Dear back muscles,

    You have been hurting me for 5 days now, will you please stop. I have stretched you, slept on the hard floor, gave you medication, but you still insist on hurting me. Please heal the muscle that I pulled so I can feel normal again.

    Dear Bike,

    I'm sorry I haven't been able to ride you, I miss you so. You sit there unmoved for 5 days and I just know you can't wait to race down the hill to the park again. Hopefully I'll be able to take you out this weekend.

    Dear Zoey (my cat)

    Please stop puking on the carpet. There is linoleum in both the kitchen and the bathroom, why can't you puke in there?
  • mello
    mello Posts: 817 Member
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    Dear Zoey (my cat)

    Please stop puking on the carpet. There is linoleum in both the kitchen and the bathroom, why can't you puke in there?

    OMG that is so my own cat!!!!! He's 8 yrs old and has yet to puke on the bare floor!!!! I've even picked him up to move him when I hear him start his GAAAK sound! He looks at me like "how rude" and promptly moves back to the living room carpet to resume!:explode:
  • Kidvicious28
    Kidvicious28 Posts: 1,613 Member
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    Amen to that! I completely agree with you!
  • Kidvicious28
    Kidvicious28 Posts: 1,613 Member
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    Dear student loans,

    It's not time for you to start billing me. I'm not ready to start paying you off! 50 some thousand dollars is not something to look forward too when I don't have a real job yet! UGH! Deferrrrrrrr biotch!
  • cherie2304
    cherie2304 Posts: 632 Member
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    Dear People of the world,

    When you tell me how great I look after the weight I have lost please do not go into how you haven't lost weight because of this or that or you have been bad cuz you ate this or that or say yeah I've been meaning to go to the gym but haven't made it that way. I mean how am I suppose to respond to that.

    Thank you,

    Cherie.
  • xsargex
    xsargex Posts: 768
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    Dear student loans,

    It's not time for you to start billing me. I'm not ready to start paying you off! 50 some thousand dollars is not something to look forward too when I don't have a real job yet! UGH! Deferrrrrrrr biotch!

    hahhaaha, you'd think for 50k you'd get some job placement with that piece of paper. What a rip off.
  • marlo87
    marlo87 Posts: 4 Member
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    Dear Mitch (cat),
    Please stop attacking the other cat, its really annoying and tends to wake the baby! And please stop pooping everywhere but your litter box!:explode:

    Dear Creamy,
    Stop being such a scaredy cat and attack back, maybe he'll stop attaking you!:grumble:

    Dear Hubby,
    Your one and only chore is dishes, is it really that hard to keep up on??:angry:

    Dear son,
    You are the light of my life, but must you whine everytime i take a moment to relax??:heart::noway:

    Dear food,
    Stop looking so darn good! Your the reason im this big! :laugh:

    ok i feel better!:drinker:
  • marlo87
    marlo87 Posts: 4 Member
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    Honey, Sweety, Doll Baby,......................................QUIT B**CHING AT ME!!!! AT 10:30 AT NIGHT WHEN I AM TIRED AND NEED TO GO TO BED BECAUSE I GET UP AT 5 FOR WORK....AIGGGGHHHGHHGHGH!!!

    Then take your clothes off the freaking chair! LOL :laugh:

    Amen! :laugh:

    But we get yelled at when we put them on the floor too... AAHHHH What is a man to do???

    Dear closet -- I know its been a while since we met, but last time I looked you were full with the wifey's overflow of clothes. Why can't you be a little bigger so I don't get yelled at anymore? I was just doing what professor manlife coach taugh us...


    AHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Thats awesome i needed that! lol:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • vrdz3215
    vrdz3215 Posts: 493
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    Dear Boss,

    PLEASE stop micro managing me!!!!! I am a big girl and know how to do my job without you breathing down my neck every two seconds!

    Dear Other Boss,

    Please stop talking. Every other word out of your mouth is a lie or made up rumor...and we all know you are full of S%$#!!!!

    Dear Media,

    You SUCK!
  • xsargex
    xsargex Posts: 768
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    hahahah

    Dear Michael Jackson (where-ever you are):

    You were a great singer. Obviously, the King of Pop. Thats really about it. RIP

    Dear Everyone Else (regarding MJ):

    Please, for the love of God, shut the hell up.
  • AwMyLoLo
    AwMyLoLo Posts: 1,571 Member
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    Dear work,

    Why must you go soooo slow?

    Dear evenings and weekends,

    Why must you go so fast?
  • amymeenieminymo
    amymeenieminymo Posts: 2,394 Member
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    Dear work,

    Why must you go soooo slow?

    Dear evenings and weekends,

    Why must you go so fast?

    My thoughts exactly!
  • amymeenieminymo
    amymeenieminymo Posts: 2,394 Member
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    Dear Zoey (my cat)

    Please stop puking on the carpet. There is linoleum in both the kitchen and the bathroom, why can't you puke in there?

    OMG that is so my own cat!!!!! He's 8 yrs old and has yet to puke on the bare floor!!!! I've even picked him up to move him when I hear him start his GAAAK sound! He looks at me like "how rude" and promptly moves back to the living room carpet to resume!:explode:

    Haha, mine is 7 and does the same thing. I once shooe'd him onto the hardwood floor and at the last minute he turned his head and yacked on the rug. And the ONE time he puked in the bathroom, it was all over the shag-type bath rug. Why cat why!!!!!!????
  • memaw66
    memaw66 Posts: 2,558 Member
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    Dear Mitch (cat),
    Please stop attacking the other cat, its really annoying and tends to wake the baby! And please stop pooping everywhere but your litter box!:explode:

    This is my Smoky! He attacks his sister Dusty all the time and the hubbs is constantly screaming at him to leave her alone!!!

    Dear Creamy,
    Stop being such a scaredy cat and attack back, maybe he'll stop attaking you!:grumble:

    This is my Dusty, she just lets Smoky do it!!! Too funny!!!
  • weaklink109
    weaklink109 Posts: 2,831 Member
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    This thread started a little too late, but I will say it anyway:

    Dear Morons in my neighborhood with no life, and probably no job who kept shooting off fireworks after 11p which is after the legal time for use!!:; KNOCK it OFF Already!!! :explode: Some people (me for instance) have to get up at 4 a.m to go to work!! I have enough other things to keep me awake. A nocturnal Lhasa Apso, and a Shih tzu who does NOT like fireworks and is not at all shy about barking his head off to tell me of his displeasure!!:mad:

    So GO AWAY to a desert island with all the other inconsiderate twits and blow one another up why don't you!!!

    ALSO

    Dear ignorant Neighbor-

    Thanks SOOO much for scaring the hell out of my dogs and me by shooting off fireworks within 20 feet of where we were walking. :angry: Even if fireworks were not ALREADY BANNED from the condo property, common sense SHOULD tell you to STOP when unsuspecting people and animals are near!!:noway:

    There, that's taken care of----until NEXT YEAR!!:laugh:
  • Hemis_mom
    Hemis_mom Posts: 193 Member
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    Dear Hemi (cat) please stop puking on the bathroom bath mat which is surrounded by floor that would be so easy to clean instead I always have to wash the mat. Also could you stop sucking your tail and then slapping it on my while I sleep--It is so gross and I am sure you are the only cat that does this!!!!

    Dear Movie Theatre Popcorn,
    Please stop smelling so good so I can stop eating you while I work......
    Dear LowFat Popcorn,
    Why can't you taste as good as movie theatre popcorn

    Dear Hip Flexor Muscle,
    Will you please please get better so I can get back to running again I haven't for two weeks per treatment and I have gained 5 pounds!!! So get better faster!

    Dear Sun,
    We here in Maine have missed you for the whole month of June and part of July please come back from where ever you have gone it is summer after all!!!

    Thanks for this!!!

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