Heartbroken...again

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Das_Modell
Das_Modell Posts: 167
in Chit-Chat
there's a guy i've known for at least a couple years online. His name is Mike. The last time we were considered b/f and g/f he ended up breaking up with me for someone else. awhile after they broke up and we were still just friends. The past few months he's been saying how much he loves me and that i'm the one and only. Now i noticed he's talking to some other girl and leaving her somewhat sweet comments on myspace. Both saying that he's thinking of her..i noticed its mostly from monday up. I have a feeling im gonna lose him again :frown: . He's a bit mad at me now cuz i kept trying to text him and ask him about it so i don't have to feel like a complete idiot trying to leave him sweet i love u type comments all the time. I just wish I could find someone. I'm turning 21 next month and its been 3 or 4 years since i've hd a b/f. I feel alone :cry:
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  • tubbytabbytales
    tubbytabbytales Posts: 5,883
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    there's a guy i've known for at least a couple years online. His name is Mike. The last time we were considered b/f and g/f he ended up breaking up with me for someone else. awhile after they broke up and we were still just friends. The past few months he's been saying how much he loves me and that i'm the one and only. Now i noticed he's talking to some other girl and leaving her somewhat sweet comments on myspace. Both saying that he's thinking of her..i noticed its mostly from monday up. I have a feeling im gonna lose him again :frown: . He's a bit mad at me now cuz i kept trying to text him and ask him about it so i don't have to feel like a complete idiot trying to leave him sweet i love u type comments all the time. I just wish I could find someone. I'm turning 21 next month and its been 3 or 4 years since i've hd a b/f. I feel alone :cry:

    OK look here. I am currently going through a MASSIVE heartache. But what I went through isn't important, what I'm going to tell you is.

    You deserve someone who gives you every piece of them.
    You deserve someone who calls you in the middle of the day to say they miss you.
    You deserve someone who will find any way to be with you and make it happen.
    You deserve it.

    SO.

    You DO NOT deserve to have a boy make you doubt yourself or your relationship in any way, shape, or form. DO NOT DESERVE IT.

    If he has already dumped you for someone else in the past, then forget this dude. You deserve so much better. So it's gonna hurt like hell, but you're turning 21, chick, you have a whole life ahead of you. Go find what you deserve and don't waste your life away doubting yourself or any relationship you're in.


    The End.
  • naugustyniak
    naugustyniak Posts: 836 Member
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    Is this an only online thing or have you actually had a REAL face to face relationship? It has been my experience if he has done it once, he will do it again AND sounds like it is doing it right now. DUMP HIM.
  • Cindysunshine
    Cindysunshine Posts: 1,188 Member
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    I'm sorry your going through this. Have you ever met this guy in person? You are still very young. Don't worry. You WILL find love. You are beautiful. Do you go out with friends to places where you could meet someone? Hang in there. Men can be such dogs sometimes. :flowerforyou: Cindy :heart:
  • prairiemom
    prairiemom Posts: 391 Member
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    I know this can't be easy, but you need to get on with your life. I've been on my own for 19 years and don't say to do that either, but you are still young and there's someone better out there for you. It might be hard to see now give it time. My son just went through this he was talking to a girl on line for over 3 months and he was crazy about her, and then, they met. It only lasted 2 dates because she was totally not the person she was on line. She has already moved on to someone eles, and my son is still upset. Be carefull how much of yourself your giving this guy he could be all fake. Good luck too you and God bless.:flowerforyou:
  • Das_Modell
    Das_Modell Posts: 167
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    mostly online. the guys i've dated during high school didn't even last :(. My friend kelly is younger than me, has a really good b/f. She got pregnant and he still stood by her. They're still together. My friend nicole has been with the same guy for years and they're still together. Unfortunately i haven't been so lucky
  • jagodragon
    jagodragon Posts: 32 Member
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    {APPLAUSE}

    well said Das_Modell!!

    but might i add....you need a REAL man...one who can spend time with you in real life (not on the computer) and who can give you the physical as well as emotional contact you need and deserve.

    no offence intended and good luck, i am sure you'll find some one :wink:
  • kimber607
    kimber607 Posts: 7,128 Member
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    mostly online. the guys i've dated during high school didn't even last :(. My friend kelly is younger than me, has a really good b/f. She got pregnant and he still stood by her. They're still together. My friend nicole has been with the same guy for years and they're still together. Unfortunately i haven't been so lucky


    I'm Sorry :flowerforyou:
    and I know it's easier said than done, but drop him like a hot potato
    Don't text him, don't call him, don't e-mail or IM him......Please don't take offense, and I know u care for him, but coming across as desperate or clingy isn't going to make him care anymore....

    Also, I think these internet relationship become surreal at some point


    Good luck, Kim
  • TuscanySun
    TuscanySun Posts: 3,608 Member
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    I'm sorry you're feeling blue. I've been a very single, single mom for 12 years. Its taken me my whole life to realize that there is more to me than whether or not I"m single or dating. There is more to life than being with someone else. I had to come to understand that I, on my own, am ok and can indeed create and enjoy my life, with or without someone else. My singleness does not define me.

    Beleive me, I understand lonely....I get it....its hard, sometimes bone-crushingly hard. But its part of our lives, unfortunately.

    Online 'dating' is, by its nature, an open door for dishonesty....its too easy to pretend to be something or someone they're not.

    I hope with all my heart for you that you find your one true love when you are most ready to be his one true love...and, that you'll find contentment on your own until then.

    Good luck!
  • ontheskinnyroad
    ontheskinnyroad Posts: 205 Member
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    Honey you are turning 21. Your going to have so many boys coming for you this is nothing. Keep going on with your life. He has. Enjoy your friends and family. Occupy youself with something. Enjoy your single life. Be happy and free. :flowerforyou:
  • Hemis_mom
    Hemis_mom Posts: 193 Member
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    Twenty one is very young I didn't meet my husband until I was 26 after being very single for two years (like no dates or anything) and being in an abusive relationship for five years before that (because I wanted a boyfriend so bad)--You deserve better don't sell yourself short wait for someone good to come along they will even if it isn't always in our time---I learned a lot about myself in the two years I was single it was an amazing time of personal growth!
    Hang in there!
    There is someone out there for you!
  • goochinator
    goochinator Posts: 383 Member
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    I think many women have been through this at some point in their lives...dont despair. What you need to realize is that if a guy is really into you...then that's just it...he's really into you.

    PLEASE, I beg of you, read a book called HE's JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. This book is a huge eye opener and in my years of dating toads and lizards, it totally made me see the light.

    The title may sound harsh, but I assure you its not. Its basically saying if a guy doesnt call you , date you, love you, be faithful to you then its time to move on. Only we can prevent others from ripping our hearts out, by playing it smart! There are 10,000,000 excuses out there for why a guy doesnt do XYZ, but in the end, if he's into you, wants to be with you, its more than obvious and you will never have to wonder.

    Kimber is right too- the more you call, text, chase after him the more desperate you seem. Stop all action immediately! Let him come to you!

    Dont waste your time on someone who plays games. Its not worth it. Instead get into your own life. Dont wait around for someone else to make you happy. If you are not 100% happy in your life, or close to it, then a man isnt going to change much. Do things you like to do...get into sports, crafts, hobbies, whatever!
  • Das_Modell
    Das_Modell Posts: 167
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    what sucks is he likes the exact same stuff i do. He's one of the few who has the same addiction to horror movies as i do. He even got me Robert Englund's autograph and i got to talk to Jason Mewes when he was at a Nightmare On Elm Street convention. He even had robert leave me a voicmail. It was definatly all real too :frown:
  • Kidvicious28
    Kidvicious28 Posts: 1,613 Member
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    awww I'm so sorry to hear that.:ohwell:
    I'm 25 and I haven't had a bf for 2 years. I just keep running into losers for some unknown reasons. My *kitten* ex was a huge sh*thead too. I keep thinking I'm never going to find a good guy and saying "why is this taking forever!?"...but like everyone said, you'll find love! Maybe it's just not the right time. When it's supposed to happen, it'll happen and it'll feel amazing and you'll be so happy :smile: ( I can't wait! haha)

    And to be honest, those crappy feelings will go away, I promise. It'll take a few weeks maybe even months, but you'll start feeling better. Boys just suck sometimes, we have to realize this and not let it get us down. I agree with everyone above. You deserve so much more! Try going out and having fun! Meet new boys. Do a lot of things to keep your mind off of him. Keep your friends around as much as possible because when I was that age those girls kept me going. I hope you have a good set of girls to lean on :smile:

    I also agree with Kimber and goochinator....Don't call, text, email, IM or anything...let the boys chase after YOU! You shouldn't be the one chasing after boys.

    You have a lot of time to find someone...lol heck I'm still looking! :wink:

    Good luck with everything! I wish you the best :flowerforyou:
  • twilight1542
    twilight1542 Posts: 403
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    Being in a relationship is not worth the pain of being with someone who isn't there for you. If he really cared about you he wouldn't be acting the way he is. So my vote is "cut your losses". It's better the be single & on the lookout for mister right than stuck in an unhappy relationship. Relationships take work & compromise & both parties have to be willing to give 100% or the relationship will fail.
  • Das_Modell
    Das_Modell Posts: 167
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    Thanks everyone :flowerforyou:
    i probably won't talk to him after today
  • toots99
    toots99 Posts: 3,794 Member
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    I'm 36 and still single and there's nothing wrong with being single! You're way too young to be trying to find the man of your dreams. Enjoy being young, hang with your friends, find out more about yourself and who you are before you let having a boyfriend define you and what you want to be. He'll find you and fit into your picture eventually! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • AmyBrenn
    AmyBrenn Posts: 93 Member
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    I think many women have been through this at some point in their lives...dont despair. What you need to realize is that if a guy is really into you...then that's just it...he's really into you.

    PLEASE, I beg of you, read a book called HE's JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. This book is a huge eye opener and in my years of dating toads and lizards, it totally made me see the light.

    The title may sound harsh, but I assure you its not. Its basically saying if a guy doesnt call you , date you, love you, be faithful to you then its time to move on. Only we can prevent others from ripping our hearts out, by playing it smart! There are 10,000,000 excuses out there for why a guy doesnt do XYZ, but in the end, if he's into you, wants to be with you, its more than obvious and you will never have to wonder.

    Kimber is right too- the more you call, text, chase after him the more desperate you seem. Stop all action immediately! Let him come to you!

    Dont waste your time on someone who plays games. Its not worth it. Instead get into your own life. Dont wait around for someone else to make you happy. If you are not 100% happy in your life, or close to it, then a man isnt going to change much. Do things you like to do...get into sports, crafts, hobbies, whatever!

    ^
    Best advice ever!
  • FluffnStuff
    FluffnStuff Posts: 387
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    You totally deserve someone who respects you way more than this guy does.
    Good ones are out there, even if they seem rare.
    Just don't get so hung up on NEEDING one... you don't, you can totally function without a guy (despite your friends great luck... you are no less of a person for not having one).

    Heck, it took me.... 6 years to find my ideal match... and we aren't totally matchy-matchy (we have some major goals in common but are very different on an individual level).... as a matter of fact there are a few days I want to punch him in the head.

    :flowerforyou:

    You'll be okay.
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
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    If you spend all your time looking for someone else, you'll never find yourself. Just be single. Stop trying to please others. Do things YOU like that make YOU feel good. Be selfish while you still can. Relationships take a lot of work.
  • christahollis
    christahollis Posts: 152
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    There are a bazillion guys out there with exactly the same interests that you have. There are 100 great guys out there for every loser who strings you along on the internet and dumps you when someone else's avatar looks better...

    By calling him, pursuing him...begging him...you're giving him all of the power and basically giving him the permission slip to treat you badly--like he can throw you away because you'll always be there to beg him to take you back. Pining away over him as he's busy being the internet "player" does nothing to forward YOUR goals, YOUR life, YOUR needs, YOUR happiness.

    Clean break. No communication whatsoever. It's doable, not always easy, but doable.

    Start fresh. Be alone for a little while to get your head around what YOU want and need...then...begin again with a new set of rules for what you'll accept and what you won't.

    Oh...and if it's not obvious already...dump his stupid butt. He's not that into you if he's got someone else he's parading around...so why should you be into him?

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