How come no one ever thinks they're the BAD one?

honeysprinkles

One thing that I think is funny is that EVERYONE says that no one knows how to drive. I do it all the time and sometimes I get so mad when people do stupid stuff like cut me off or pull out in front of me and go 20 miles below the speed limit...and then there are times that I accidentally do the same things to people and remember "oh ya, I'm one of those bad drivers too" lol.

Ashley_Panda

I'm the opposite. I blame myself for everything.

AmberJslimsAWAY

I'm a major *****...

jackpotclown

I have no idea what you're talking about because every day since my wedding apparently, yep I'm wrong....matters not the situation or circumstance.....there are only variances in the degrees of being wrong....so I was a little less wrong yesterday than say....the day before \m/

I just came to terms with the idea that "right" does not exist.....more or less like error 404 file not found. \m/

livinginwoods

I can be moody at times.....:ohwell:

ninerbuff

Because it's true. :laugh:


A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

mollsred06

oh ive been the bad one PLENTY of times, i usually realized when i was, if not right away then shortly after. lol im the kind of person who thinks TOO much. so of course i have tried to give myself a reason to make the other person an *kitten*, but in the end, when it was me that was being the "bad guy" i eventually came to that realization. for the most part anyways. haha

some people pride themselves on being the bad guy though, so its easier for some people to realize that than others, not saying that im one of them...but just saying.

FrostyFour

I read an article about this on Cracked. There's science behind this, man.

http://www.cracked.com/article_19468_5-logical-fallacies-that-make-you-wrong-more-than-you-think_p2.html

I can't ever read anything on Cracked! Why is this?

"Here's a good way to ruin your afternoon. Go on the Internet and find any discussion thread that brings up overweight people (like this or this one). Stand back and watch as a crowd absolutely rants about how incredibly easy it is to lose weight, and how incredibly lazy you have to be to get fat. The conclusion will be that being fat is literally a moral failing and the sign of a bad, disgusting human being. It's to the point of actual anger and violence directed toward the overweight in real life -- the fat are one of the last groups people can openly hate.

Getty
In at least four states, we can legally hunt this man.

But now take any of those people and try using the same logic with their weaknesses:

"You're struggling to get by on your income? I can't imagine how lazy a person would have to be to not be wealthy. Just go out there and make money! Duh!"

"You don't have a girlfriend? I can't imagine how much of an antisocial **** you have to be to not get a beautiful woman to love you. How hard is it to get off your *kitten* and be a dynamic, sexy, personable human being?"

Getty
"Seriously dude, just stop having a micropenis."

"You drink alcohol? Or smoke cigarettes? Or smoke pot? Why don't you try not doing those things?"

"You suffer from depression or anxiety? Uh, have you tried not?"

Now watch as they rattle off ten thousand extenuating circumstances for their embarrassing problem (the economy is bad, women are *****es, I have an addiction) while completely rejecting all of the similar causes of obesity.

Getty
"My compulsive, life-shortening habit is completely different from overeating. Namely, it's much sexier."

The Science:

It's called the fundamental attribution error.

It's a universal thought process that says when other people screw up, it's because they're stupid or evil. But when we screw up, it's totally circumstantial. Like if you notice a coworker showing up to work high on mescaline, it's because he's an out-of-control peyote hound. But if you show up at work high on mescaline, it's because you had a flat tire and you needed the distraction.

The process feels so obvious when explained -- we simply lack information about the context in which the other person screwed up, and so we fill it in with our own. If we've never been fat, then we assume the fat guy feels the exact same level of hunger as we do, that his metabolism is the same, that his upbringing is the same, that the spare time and energy he can devote to exercise is the same as ours. We think that both of us faced the exact same fork in the road and only one of us chose to eat churros.

Getty
About 40 of these a week for two years are all that separate you from that guy who had to be airlifted out of his living room.

The reality is, of course, that you were on completely different roads. The assumption that everyone's circumstances are identical is so plainly wrong as to be borderline insane, but everyone does it. Pundits and politicians alike mock the unemployed as lazy, even though their own data shows that for every five unemployed people, there is only one open job. "I don't understand, can't you all just become radio talk show hosts like me?"

So During Your Next Argument, Remember ...

Forget about talking politics with your crazy shop teacher for a second. If you're consistently doing this when arguing with your significant other, that's a good sign that the relationship is dying. Listen for it -- when you forgot to do the dishes, it was because you had a thousand other things on your mind. When she forgot, it's because she doesn't care. If you find yourself automatically dismissing your partner's explanations as "excuses," you've gone to a bad place from which most relationships do not return."

DeckerDoll

Because I'm just so good at it.

Yanicka1

Self analysis demand a lot of maturity and humility.

sunshinedazed

I am a procrastinator with a horrible tendency to psychoanalyze people. Including myself. I also hold myself and everyone around me to ridiculous standards.

In short, I'm kind of annoying.

sculley

Seriously, though, my marriage has had a lot of problems, because I'm a crazy person and my husband is an a-hole. I think, though, that we want to be the good ones. You don't want to think you're a bad person. That would totally suck.
[/quote]
This is my situation as well...He will say you weren't like this when we were dating I will be like yeah...I became this way after you were cheating while we were dating....

I am insecure, have trust issues.....enough said

ArroganceInStep

if anyone can ever say "I did NOTHING wrong" with a straight face at the end of a relationship, they deserve an award, because there is almost NO way a break up/split/divorce is 100% any one person's fault. It's just as much about the reaction as it is the action. This is not to say one person can't be more to blame, but certainly cannot be the only to blame. I've certainly had my fairshare of screw-ups and I'm sure there will be plenty more to come.

I can say it with a straight face.


On a completely unrelated note, I'm damned good at lying through my teeth.

Brandicaloriecountess

With the first guy I dated after my marriage broke up, I was the jerk. I didn't feel like it at the time, but I was a selfish b!t*h. And even though I was, when I broke up with him he tried to talk me out of it, and told me I would regret it later. And I did, but everything happens for a reason. I just feel bad for the way I acted.

soontobesam

I'm 100% Polish and I'm a Leo.

I think that pretty much sums up every thing that a person could possibly do wrong in a lifetime. :laugh:

Seriously though - I overanalyze the crap out of everything, I'm stubborn as all hell, I am highly skilled at turning the other person into the bad guy in any situation and once I have flipped it around I am 100% convinced its the truth (it has been the case in many situations and has not been the case in many as well), I see everything in grey (vs. black and white) and although in some cases this is a blessing - it is a hindrance in many others, I allow people to treat me a certain way and then at some point I will have had enough and will go on rampage and expect them to have been a better person (without actually showing them they should have been), I'm not very good with money, I have unrealistic expectations, I hog the bed covers like a boss, I am 27 and just really learning how to cook, I'm emotionally inept.. I can go on and on.

All that being said - I've done a lot of growing in the past few years and still have plenty of issues to work out - but I'm getting there.

jackpotclown

I read an article about this on Cracked. There's science behind this, man.

http://www.cracked.com/article_19468_5-logical-fallacies-that-make-you-wrong-more-than-you-think_p2.html

I can't ever read anything on Cracked! Why is this?

"Here's a good way to ruin your afternoon. Go on the Internet and find any discussion thread that brings up overweight people (like this or this one). Stand back and watch as a crowd absolutely rants about how incredibly easy it is to lose weight, and how incredibly lazy you have to be to get fat. The conclusion will be that being fat is literally a moral failing and the sign of a bad, disgusting human being. It's to the point of actual anger and violence directed toward the overweight in real life -- the fat are one of the last groups people can openly hate.

Getty
In at least four states, we can legally hunt this man.

But now take any of those people and try using the same logic with their weaknesses:

"You're struggling to get by on your income? I can't imagine how lazy a person would have to be to not be wealthy. Just go out there and make money! Duh!"

"You don't have a girlfriend? I can't imagine how much of an antisocial **** you have to be to not get a beautiful woman to love you. How hard is it to get off your *kitten* and be a dynamic, sexy, personable human being?"

Getty
"Seriously dude, just stop having a micropenis."

"You drink alcohol? Or smoke cigarettes? Or smoke pot? Why don't you try not doing those things?"

"You suffer from depression or anxiety? Uh, have you tried not?"

Now watch as they rattle off ten thousand extenuating circumstances for their embarrassing problem (the economy is bad, women are *****es, I have an addiction) while completely rejecting all of the similar causes of obesity.

Getty
"My compulsive, life-shortening habit is completely different from overeating. Namely, it's much sexier."

The Science:

It's called the fundamental attribution error.

It's a universal thought process that says when other people screw up, it's because they're stupid or evil. But when we screw up, it's totally circumstantial. Like if you notice a coworker showing up to work high on mescaline, it's because he's an out-of-control peyote hound. But if you show up at work high on mescaline, it's because you had a flat tire and you needed the distraction.

The process feels so obvious when explained -- we simply lack information about the context in which the other person screwed up, and so we fill it in with our own. If we've never been fat, then we assume the fat guy feels the exact same level of hunger as we do, that his metabolism is the same, that his upbringing is the same, that the spare time and energy he can devote to exercise is the same as ours. We think that both of us faced the exact same fork in the road and only one of us chose to eat churros.

Getty
About 40 of these a week for two years are all that separate you from that guy who had to be airlifted out of his living room.

The reality is, of course, that you were on completely different roads. The assumption that everyone's circumstances are identical is so plainly wrong as to be borderline insane, but everyone does it. Pundits and politicians alike mock the unemployed as lazy, even though their own data shows that for every five unemployed people, there is only one open job. "I don't understand, can't you all just become radio talk show hosts like me?"

So During Your Next Argument, Remember ...

Forget about talking politics with your crazy shop teacher for a second. If you're consistently doing this when arguing with your significant other, that's a good sign that the relationship is dying. Listen for it -- when you forgot to do the dishes, it was because you had a thousand other things on your mind. When she forgot, it's because she doesn't care. If you find yourself automatically dismissing your partner's explanations as "excuses," you've gone to a bad place from which most relationships do not return."

That right there was probably THE most insightful thing I've bothered to read in a long time \m/

yoovie

Im an awful person.

soontobesam

Im an awful person.

But you have a very nice clavicle (clavicles?). These two things simply do not go hand in hand.

LorinaLynn

"Howard, you know me to be a very smart man. Don't you think that if I were wrong, I'd know it?" -- Dr. Sheldon Cooper

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

if anyone can ever say "I did NOTHING wrong" with a straight face at the end of a relationship, they deserve an award, because there is almost NO way a break up/split/divorce is 100% any one person's fault. It's just as much about the reaction as it is the action. This is not to say one person can't be more to blame, but certainly cannot be the only to blame. I've certainly had my fairshare of screw-ups and I'm sure there will be plenty more to come.

I can say it with a straight face.


On a completely unrelated note, I'm damned good at lying through my teeth.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: