Little brother

Options
124»

Replies

  • Rage_Phish
    Rage_Phish Posts: 1,507 Member
    Options
    bring your hottest friends along to work out with you. that might inspire him to join in
  • WeightlifterJosey
    WeightlifterJosey Posts: 24
    Options
    He does do football and Wrestling and doesn't care that he keeps on getting fatter and really doesn't even wanna play sports anymore, he thinks playing golf for 20 mins is enough workouts for a week. He loves to play video game and eat chips while doing so.

    If he participates in sports (football and wrestling) he does work out, doesn't he? Or don't they work out for sports anymore? And how can one play golf for only 20 minutes? It takes me hours to play a round of golf. What is his body fat percent? Is he actually "fat?"

    I think, since you're not his parent, all you can do is set a good example.
    He does do those sports but he complains the whole time and fakes injuries because he would rather do nothing, he doesn't play the hole round he only does a little bit
  • WeightlifterJosey
    WeightlifterJosey Posts: 24
    Options
    I'm just going to bring it up, but you said he is homeschooled, does he have a social life? Most kids meet their friends through school so maybe he sits and eats because he's bored or lonely.
    He actually has friends from our neighborhood but they only play video games and or eat
  • Lozze
    Lozze Posts: 1,917 Member
    Options
    Are you an expert in adolescent health? Has his doctor said he needs to lose weight? Do you control his food intake? If the answer is no to these questions then you need to butt out. Talk to your parents if you're so worried. He exercises just not what you want him to do.

    As a 1: year old I got all of what people are suggesting. Failed miserably. All I learned was that I was fat and gross and started a lifelong issue with food. Nothing changed until I made the decision.
  • castadiva
    castadiva Posts: 2,016 Member
    Options
    I was just thinking this exact same question about my son. He's 13, 5'4 and 140lbs. He's on the heavier side of things. He doesn't do sports at all. Which is fine except I think he is really missing out by not being part of a scheduled activity. He does ride his bike and walk but I was thinking about having him work out with me 30 minutes a day.

    I want him to know that exercise is a part of a happy, healthy life, just because he has chosen not to play sports doesn't mean he can get away with not doing something in it's place. I'm still struggling with the right way to approach it.

    As a deeply anti-sports personality, a word of caution...If he rides his bike and walks on a regular basis, he's being fairly active anyway - I wouldn't fret too much about 'scheduled' exercise - both of those things count towards his activity-levels. Exercise doesn't have to mean getting changed into special clothes and going to the gym/joining a team etc, which just is anathema to some people, myself included. I really resented the pressure I got from some adults in that regard, and it made me much more resistant to other forms of activity than I would otherwise have been, for a long time.

    Now, if you said you were worried about his socialisation, rather than just exercise and sports, I'd ask if he was involved in any non-sports groups. As for his weight, as I said above, if he's 13 and 5'4", he's going to be a lot taller, and probably a similar weight in a year's time. Many kids gain weight in the run-up to pubertal changes - it's the body's way of preparing itself.

    If you do get him to work out with you, don't forget that an adolescent or child's skeleton and muscular structure is not as developed or strong as an adults - cartilege has not yet hardened, for example. It would be wise to carefully consider what you are getting him to do, if weights etc are a big part of your workout.

    I was very anti sports and anti exercise at his age myself and I can honestly say I regret that very much now because I had to spend a lot of time playing catch up in the health department during my 20's. I don't want to see him make the same mistakes I did (I know, what parent hasn't said this) I won't force him because I don't want him to see exercise as punishment and I know weight training isn't the best type of exercise for an adolescent his age. I was thinking more of jogging with him. I am not a very good runner myself, was thinking of trying the couch to 5k with the goal of completing a 5k together this summer. Something more along those lines. It's summer now so we'll do bike rides together also.

    I had a thought at 1am about this. Have you asked your son why he doesn't want to play team sports, or if he has any non-team-related sporting interests? One of the reasons I disliked sports so much as a child/teen was because of the 'team' element, and worrying that I would let the team down if I didn't play well - too much pressure from 'outside' for me. I did, and do, enjoy individual activities such as skiing, dance, skating etc, which were either for my pleasure, or I was competing only for and/or against myself. Depending on where you live, maybe there are some activities your son might enjoy without the pressure of a team situation? If he's keen on his bike, track cycling or BMX/mountainbiking are all seriously physically demanding, and might be fun for him, without having the label of 'exercise' attached? Other possibilities might be rollerblading/skateboarding/surfing/skiing/snowboarding/judo/martial arts/swimming/diving etc. Individual sports like tennis still have a bit more 'team' attached, but not in the same way as football/rugby/cricket etc. Actually, there are heaps of options - those are just some that come to mind. Just a thought - don't know why it popped into my head in the wee sma' hours, but it did!
  • zoodalia
    zoodalia Posts: 294
    Options
    Does he want to workout?
  • XXXMinnieXXX
    XXXMinnieXXX Posts: 3,459 Member
    Options
    If he's really into games a kinekt would be great, I see great calorie burns off them posted by friends! I want one! X
  • dhakiyya
    dhakiyya Posts: 481 Member
    Options
    He does do those sports but he complains the whole time and fakes injuries because he would rather do nothing, he doesn't play the hole round he only does a little bit

    Are you sure that's laziness? It could come from a lack of self confidence. I went through a phase of that as a teenager (and I liked sport!) and it was because my self confidence was on the floor in little pieces. It wasn't even so much actual faking of injury either, just that the fear of failing and letting everyone down kind of got mentally transferred onto an existing injury. This was caused by too much pressure to meet other people's standards/expectations, and not enough concern for my goals or what I wanted to achieve, way too much criticism, and a general lack emotional support to help me deal with the pressure and failure/setback better. Probably a lot of the criticism was meant as advice to help me, but teenagers can take things very personally, and poorly worded advice tends to be internalised as "I'm not good enough".

    My advice would be to talk to him and listen to what he wants to do, and then help him to achieve his goals. I mean really listen. Don't listen for a few minutes and make a ton of suggestions about what he should do about the issues he just told you about. Ask him what he wants to do or thinks he should do to fix them. Or if he doesn't tell you about any problems, only that he doesn't like the sports he's doing very much, ask him what he wants to do instead. Ask him what he wants to achieve in the future. Then try to support him in what he actually wants to do.
  • WeightlifterJosey
    WeightlifterJosey Posts: 24
    Options
    Are you an expert in adolescent health? Has his doctor said he needs to lose weight? Do you control his food intake? If the answer is no to these questions then you need to butt out. Talk to your parents if you're so worried. He exercises just not what you want him to do.

    As a 1: year old I got all of what people are suggesting. Failed miserably. All I learned was that I was fat and gross and started a lifelong issue with food. Nothing changed until I made the decision.

    I am only butting in because I don't want him to die young because of his weight! I am concerned about him, this isn't about me at all I am just trying to get through to my little brother who has just gained 5 more pounds since he last weighed in and I am really worried. (Also he might be eating more since my parents are going through a divorce and he eats A LOT at each house!)
  • sarahsaur
    sarahsaur Posts: 18 Member
    Options
    Speaking from experience, it sounds like he's depressed. Just working out and eating right isn't going to help him and if he is being urged or pressured to work out, it might only make it worse. He may be using food and videogames as an escape from what is going on around him. He should probably speak to a counselor and try to get some help. And perhaps talk to your parents about stocking their homes with healthier foods so that he isn't snacking on junk all the time. A 13 year old has no control over what foods to eat.

    Maybe you could talk him into enrolling in martial arts like Tae Kwon Do or Karate? It may help.
  • rockinright
    rockinright Posts: 241
    Options
    Don't make it about a 'workout' - are there any sports he's interested in playing and/or local teams he could join? If he's only 13 and 5'2" he's probably about to shoot up in height in the next year or so, so if you're worried about his weight, I would try not to be - he'll probably be so skinny you'll need to feed him up in a few months' time. It's what happens to boys at puberty.

    Yeah, that's what they told me too.

    It never really happened (I'm 5'7).
  • stormdancer
    stormdancer Posts: 32 Member
    Options
    Take him camping / hiking in state and national parks...anything to get him away from the game. Games are literally addictive, I know firsthand. Spend the summer tent or car camping with him, you may form closer bonds, get a love of nature into him and you, and the scenery is so lovely it often makes you want to expend the effort to see more of it. Find an over the counter painkiller that works for him (not every painkiller works for everyone, Naproxen works for me every time but husband, never does) for his knee pain.

    If the divorce weren't underway, I would suggest getting parents to remove the game/computer from his room / his house, but with parents divorcing, they may be each trying to 'buy' his love with things, so that's not the right answer in this case.

    Better to remove him from it for a few months, take him out camping. Hiking. So you drive with a car to a dozen different state or national parks over the course of two or three months, camp with a tent and a cooler of bottles of water not soda, talk over the campfire, explore nature, teach him to cook over a campstove. Swimming at beaches, tubing down rivers, learn or practice guitar or harmonica when it rains.

    Another note, looks like you are not fat but brother is. Understand that fat is an insulater, your brother will get very hot from simple exercise or just from the weather, much faster than you will. Pay attention to his water intake when camping, and
    how many clothes he wears. You don't want him getting heatstroke or heat exhaustion.

    Maybe take some books too, like the Hunger Games trilogy, (its riveting!) and which will then get you and him interested in archery, so maybe take a couple of second-hand bows along to practice with. (again, Craigslist has dozens of bows for sale, I recommend NOT getting the compound-bow type unless you are sure you or he is strong enough to pull it)

    If YOU don't know how to camp or cook, see if you have a friend or two who DO, who would go with you and teach you both, its worthwhile. Life skills. And you can rent camping equipment and tents from REI or other camping stores., or find second-hand camping items on your local Craigslist.

    Hopefully to afford this, your parents will pay for it, in the interests of harmony and to get their stuff settled a bit. Maybe each would like to come and spend a week camping with you two. And I don't mean together, I mean Dad a week in July, Mom a week in June. And good luck to you all.
  • abberbabber
    abberbabber Posts: 972 Member
    Options
    Are you an expert in adolescent health? Has his doctor said he needs to lose weight? Do you control his food intake? If the answer is no to these questions then you need to butt out. Talk to your parents if you're so worried. He exercises just not what you want him to do.

    As a 1: year old I got all of what people are suggesting. Failed miserably. All I learned was that I was fat and gross and started a lifelong issue with food. Nothing changed until I made the decision.

    I am only butting in because I don't want him to die young because of his weight! I am concerned about him, this isn't about me at all I am just trying to get through to my little brother who has just gained 5 more pounds since he last weighed in and I am really worried. (Also he might be eating more since my parents are going through a divorce and he eats A LOT at each house!)

    Maybe he's depressed and eating his emotions. Have you expressed your concerns to either of your parents?
  • mygrl4meee
    mygrl4meee Posts: 943 Member
    Options
    My 12 year old son is the same height as your brother and weighs just 2 pounds less. He has a stomach that is an empty pit and would eat all day if we let him. We have changed our eating habits and now I include him on some of my visits to the Y. I try to limit his scanking and actual have weighed out some of the things. I am trying to teach him about portion control but he thinks they are lying about the calories in food. Its a challenge balancing school and getting him active and also just letting him be a kid but it seems to be working.
  • stormdancer
    stormdancer Posts: 32 Member
    Options
    other ideas : take him kite flying a couple times. Take him to spend the day walking around a large zoo. Do the tourist thing in your own city, see what museums there are to walk around, what art parks there are. Walking tours. Tour the state capitol. Have him join the Boy Scouts perhaps, or Boys & Girls Clubs of America.
  • bradthemedic
    bradthemedic Posts: 623 Member
    Options
    Teenage boys these days are chunk *kitten* with very little motivation. I like that you're trying to get him active now, because it will impact his future teen (high school) years.

    Could you enroll him in a local sports league over the summer for say baseball or soccer?

Categories