I can't do this again

100over

.........fail, that is. I have gained back 5 of this 6 pounds I lost and am basically back at the start. The last two weeks have just been so awful. I can't blame life because life is always going to be hard so I have to find a way to stay on track. This is why I told myself I couldn't even have one cheat day until I lost at least twenty pounds because I'm not strong enough yet in my mind to get myself back on track.
I feel so discouraged after eating chinese food, nachos, trifle cake, dinners out etc etc that I don't even know where to begin today. I have that immense feeling of regret that squashes ANY self confidence you have and makes me just want to cry. I can't fail again this time

Leah

prism6

Sure you can. Get right back up on that horse. Just know that it will take time,but know that others are here for you

Tandksmommy11

Forget about any mistakes you made in the past and move forward. What's the saying---the reason the rear view mirror is so much smaller than the windshield is because where you are leaving doesn't matter nearly as much as where you are heading. You are heading in the right direction. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back on that wagon! You can do it!

betteringmyselfeachday

Look at it this way, you still have 1 pound lost. Look at the biggest loser shows, even they have set backs and time frames without loses and all they have to do is lose weight. There will always be a baby shower, a wedding, a holiday, a something to hold you back. You can indulge, just limit your indulgence. (easier said then done, I know).

Try these things
*Have a crave day once a week. On that day anything you have been craving you can have. Most of the time by the time you get to that day, you won't want them. Also by looking how long it takes to burn a calorie and how many calories say a cookie has, will deter you from wanting it.
*Remind yourself: Don't give up what you want most, for what you want right now!
* Prepare, prepare, prepare! I go to the grocery store on Sundays. When I get home I cut my vegetables and fruits. That way when I am wanting a snack, it is easier to grab healthy because it is already ready (like chips are available you don't have to do anything but eat)
*Just because you make one bad choice in a day, the whole day isn't ruined. So you had a set back. Just eat healthier the rest of the day and do some cardio to make up for the bad choice (I am doing this today because my choices last night!)
*don't beat yourself up! Stay positive. Put up motivational quotes and things all over your house to keep your spirits up!

zerapha

I had to log food as an exercise for eating disorder therapy. Everything I ate, I wrote whether I had control, time, location and how I felt. It allowed me to assess how I feel about food. Also, if I screwed up, all I had to do was draw a line underneath, and it would be a brand new day - even if I drew that line at 10:30pm.

You might find it helpful to do the same - Don't beat yourself up about it. In the end, it's not a gain

mmsilvia

Think positive, don't be so negative...today is a new day. A fresh start. Take baby steps. And, don't worry because tomorrow is always a new day!! :happy:

Good luck!! Please feel free to friend me for support.

frosty73

Leah,

Sometimes it is helpful to find out *why* you are having such a difficult time. Don't get me wrong, losing weight is a difficult journey--- and many people never even get as far as you have, to really *wanting* to make the right choices. You are definitely on the road, but remember it is a long journey!

Are you "cheating" because you know you shouldn't?
Are you punishing yourself because you feel badly about other things in your life?
Are you eating unhealthy to give you a sense of control when everything else seems spiraling out of control?

Sometimes it's just a mind game, and half the battle is realizing what your mind is thinking and deciding if it's baloney or not.

lem0715

I know for a fact how hard it really is to keep a motivated mind. Allow your self to cheat once a week. If you plan on going out to eat or having a desert, do some extra excercise that day.

meg7399

I find it the hardest tp give up all my favorite not good for me foods completely. Its not a good idea, because then when you cave you go WAYYYYY overboard with the binging. I allow myself a small snack for dessert to satisfy my sweet tooth and not knock me off track. My favorite go to recently has been Hold the Cone by Trader Joes. it is a MINI icecream cone dipped in chocolate but it only has 70 calories. This satisfies my chocolate and ice cream cravings and it is totally doable. I just lose it when I cut all yummy things...so I find small moderate yummy things that help keep me on track!

BRSchmitt

Leah,

Do you have a personal trainer or someone who you respect that will speak with you honestly and frankly? There is so much good advice up here but in the end you need more than posts of encouragement to stay strong.

That being said I wouldn't call that a set back, we fluxuate up to 5lbs a day sometimes and your cheating may just be coincidental so don't kill yourself over it. Keep working hard and you will get there.

Brian

kayl3igh88

The way I look at it is to take one day at a time. Yeah, I feel guilty if I fail myself by going over my cals, but only today - tomorrow is another chance to do it right. I DON'T ban myself from anything, and if I can't wiggle something into my day I either workout more for it, or wait until I can wiggle it to have it. It's all about moderation, timing, and patience. Dont be too hard on yourself, and dont give up. :flowerforyou:

StarkLark

Leah,

Most of us have been there before. I lost my first 88 pounds only to gain 60+ back. I felt hopeless, depressed and ashamed that I had wasted 9 months and made myself look like a fool. All of the new confidence I had gained was washed away. IT HAPPENS. They key is picking yourself back up. Very rarely will you figure out how to succeed without failing a few times (or a few times + a few times in my case)

Keep your head up, and visualize what you want to accomplish. Stay focused and remember that the only thing stopping you from achieving your goals is you. MFP is here for you, thanks for sharing

jplord

Leah,

Sometimes it is helpful to find out *why* you are having such a difficult time. Don't get me wrong, losing weight is a difficult journey--- and many people never even get as far as you have, to really *wanting* to make the right choices. You are definitely on the road, but remember it is a long journey!

Are you "cheating" because you know you shouldn't?
Are you punishing yourself because you feel badly about other things in your life?
Are you eating unhealthy to give you a sense of control when everything else seems spiraling out of control?

Sometimes it's just a mind game, and half the battle is realizing what your mind is thinking and deciding if it's baloney or not.

^this!

I got a lot of motivation from this book:
One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way by Robert Maurer
It is cheap and easy to find. IT is full of easy exercises and pragmatic instruction; not puffery and smoke-blowing. I still suffer from your symptoms, but they beat me less and less. Ours is not a struggle of black or white, sin or pure. This is only a gradual process of improving YOU, and as you gradually change, you feel better and it gets easier - so I'm told. I'm still on the learning curve myself, but WAY further along than when I started 6 weeks ago.

FrostyFour

i do agree with the others, that part of the reason you're kicking yourself so much is because when you have one treat, you think it's all over so you just go all out.

I used to tell struggling people "it's okay if you mess up today because you will start over tomorrow" but I like what the recovering person with the disorder therapy said... you can make tomorrow come today by making up for your mistake with your very next meal. Just HAVE to have a slice of cheesecake? Make up for it with something better.

You also need to know how to swap out.

Swap out salt with Mrs. Dash salt-free seasonings.
Swap out a SLICE of cake with a 3-2-1 cake that has just 100 calories. I made some 110 calorie brownies using a box of mix and half a can of diet soda.
Need something sweet and crunchy? Have some dry cereal.
Starving? Have a sandwich. Have some rice. Eat a salad. Yogurt. Oatmeal.

Take the foods that are your weakness, like say, potato chips. Look at the BAG, see what their serving size is, and put that in a ziploc bag. Part out the whole bag. When you're dying, reach for a bag. It's okay. We all need a fix sometimes. I had jambalaya and cheesecake last night, and seeing how much it was worth this morning is making me wince, but it's OKAY.

carenj1990

Leah.

It is difficult to stay on track, what I find helpful to is think about every meal as a new start. . So, if you screw up on breakfast there is your next meal to bet back on track. I used to have an "all or none" personality, not anymore. By adopting this attitude, I have gotten better at not feeling devastated every time I made torturous decisions. :bigsmile:

tinamike91

Leah,
I am right there with you. I have gained my 30lbs I lost back from 3 years ago. I am trying this again. I had done a local Biggest Loser group which helped me out so much. However, with costs I cant keep taking the program. I learned so much. We use to have one day a week we could cheat whether we lost or not. That way we did not binge we had something to look forward to. However, a year ago I started gaining again and didnt nab it and here I am. Keep at it. Just like the others are saying you eat something you shouldnt dont beat yourself up just move on. If you can exercise a little more. Hang in there! Its a journey we take. I understand how you feel just keep at it.

sehrler

Maybe instead of taking away, substitute/add at first, and just cut portions of everything you like in half?

For example, add in a little fruit and yogurt to breakfast, until you like it so much you get rid of the "other food".

Keep eating what you like for now, but cut your portions down, ease yourself into it. This way you're not crashing into a 180 degree change which may be too harsh at first. Hang in there, if I can do this, anyone can! My ticker doesn't reflect where I started which was 90 lbs ago.

mdmomof4

Forget about any mistakes you made in the past and move forward. What's the saying---the reason the rear view mirror is so much smaller than the windshield is because where you are leaving doesn't matter nearly as much as where you are heading. You are heading in the right direction. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back on that wagon! You can do it!

What a great way to look at it..............Thank you!

Laurej

awww I'm so sorry, We've all been there and understand what you are going through

There's some great advice here. and please remember, You only fail when you give up.. every other time is just progress towards your goal.

You hang in there and believe in yourself that you CAN do this!! xo's

MonkeyBars

you can do it

pick some peeps off here to friend with you and they will support you

good luck, falling over is how we all learn!

secretlobster

I know you can do it. The hardest part is staying motivated... The more you plan your meals, the less you have to try to make good because you've already made them earlier. Plan the work and stick to the plan Then it's just a matter of being patient. YOU CAN!!!