I can't do this again

jfrog123

You have not failed. It doesn't matter how many times you fall; as long as you pick yourself up and keep moving forward you are winning. Live in the now.

beelive

If you go cold turkey with the treats....you will fail because you will cave in....it happens to us all. Pick 1 day a week to have 1 cheat meal and the rest of the week you stay on track. Keep pushing forward and never give up!!! YOU can do this:)

kelzz193

Don't fall into the "all or nothing mentality".

There will be days you have the nachos & the cake. But those are the days you need to exercise & have moderation at other meals! Just because you had some bad days doesn't mean you can't still be successful.

The sheer fact you are on here means you want to do something good for yourself.

So pick yourself up, dust off and jump back on the wagon. You can do this!

ediesmommy

I really have no advise to give to you, and what I would say has already been said by many others. My question is... I notice on your weight loss slider that your goal is to get to 103lbs. Have you spoken to your doctor about the weight that you should be trying to reach? 103lbs is just a little more than what my 9 year old weighs. How realistic is that? I have A LOT of weight to lose, and I have a LONG way to go, but please... if you are trying to get back to a weight that "you were happy at" or " you were comfortable at"... please go and see your doctor. Needing to lose weight, getting to a HEALTHY weight is fine, but it just seems to me that a goal of 103lbs is setting yourself up for failure, no matter what you do.

Siannah

Yes you can, Leah, you definitely can. In fact, you have no choice. You have at least one child, if I look at your profile picture. You owe it to your children to set the right example, to eat healthy, to ensure you have anough energy to do things with them.
If it's not for you, then do it for them.

It's okay to fall off the wagon, but you MUST climb back on.

You can do it Leah You can do it Leah You can do it Leah You can do it Leah You can do it Leah You can do it Leah You can do it Leah You can do it Leah You can do it Leah You can do it Leah You can do it Leah You can do it Leah You can do it Leah You can do it Leah !!

MommaKit79

.........fail, that is. I have gained back 5 of this 6 pounds I lost and am basically back at the start. The last two weeks have just been so awful. I can't blame life because life is always going to be hard so I have to find a way to stay on track. This is why I told myself I couldn't even have one cheat day until I lost at least twenty pounds because I'm not strong enough yet in my mind to get myself back on track.
I feel so discouraged after eating chinese food, nachos, trifle cake, dinners out etc etc that I don't even know where to begin today. I have that immense feeling of regret that squashes ANY self confidence you have and makes me just want to cry. I can't fail again this time

Leah

First of all, take a deep breath! This happens to a lot of us. The only way you fail is if you give-up! Dont give up! You have your motivation for wanting to get healthy so, keep looking toward that! I am BIG on having set-backs! My husband says he wants to get healthy and then the next day goes out and gets pizza for dinner...or gets a cake or donuts from the store, or whatever, and he always seems to bring me down with him. So, I just take the next day, or even the next hour, and move forward. I have cravings CONSTANTLY but, have found that by the time i am allowed to actually cheat, on my cheat day, I dont really want it then.

This is that hardest thing some of us have to do, ESPECIALLY with trying to balance a life and family with taking care of yourself. It isnt easy for anyone I know! But, the biggest thing is to "Reset your brain" after a minor setback and move forward. I lost 10 lbs and gained it back before I was able to lose about 20 lbs. BUT, that 20 has been since September so, needless to say, I had a few weeks where I wasnt losing ANYTHING and it got discouraging!

WE CAN DO IT!!! We just have to keep pushing forward, look to the future and what you want and work for it! There will be setbacks but, you arent failing until you completely Give up and say, "The heck with it!"

GOOD LUCK!!!!

BaconMD

I have failed more times than I care to count. But I'm doing it now, and you can do it too.

For me, the key was to only do what I can handle from now until the end of my life. That means no exercising 5, 6, 7 days a week. I settled for every-other-day, and even that I am not strict with. I also started at only doing 10 minutes of exercise per session, because I was so fat that I couldn't even handle more than that. But I ramped it up to my target now of around an hour per session, and I did so rather quickly - it's amazing how the body improves so fast when you're trying to. And finally, I didn't even track or pay attention to my food at first. I kept eating exactly how I had been. But exercise gave me time to peer inside my mind, and I realized that all the work I was doing would be undone if I didn't at least try to eat better. So I came to it naturally, and from there, I gradually started making better choices, moved away from much sodium-laden, high-calorie processed foods and more towards cooking my own meals and using a lot of fresh ingredients. Then I started tracking here, after already losing around 40lbs, and it's only accelerated my progress. I also don't really dig the idea of spike days or cheat days or whatever you want to call them. If I want to eat chips or chocolate or something, I fit it into my calories (which I have calculated out myself, as MFP is far too aggressive for my liking. Yes, I will lose slower, but I won't be as hungry and I won't fail due to deprivation).

My point is, it's not an instant and permanent change. It's a decision that you have to make every day. I don't know what else to say; just don't give up, and don't look at any slips as failures. As long as you keep inching forward no matter how many times you are shoved back, you'll eventually reach your goal.

AmyS79

I have been rigth there with you!! I felt like I would never lose past 7 or 8 lbs because I would fall off and gain it back. I decided to really focus on it ( it was hard because I like to eat I;m like a cow I like to eat throughout the day) for me its getting past that first 2 weeks.but once i get the hang of it when Im hungry I know what to eat. I lost 30lbs and then let life of stress take away my focus. I maintained my 30lbs but 4 days ago I started back on my focus and have watched what I eat and just like the last time Im sure its gonna take at least 2 weeks to get my mind and mind on track with each other, If you wanna friend me that would be great

cmriverside

I really have no advise to give to you, and what I would say has already been said by many others. My question is... I notice on your weight loss slider that your goal is to get to 103lbs. Have you spoken to your doctor about the weight that you should be trying to reach? 103lbs is just a little more than what my 9 year old weighs. How realistic is that? I have A LOT of weight to lose, and I have a LONG way to go, but please... if you are trying to get back to a weight that "you were happy at" or " you were comfortable at"... please go and see your doctor. Needing to lose weight, getting to a HEALTHY weight is fine, but it just seems to me that a goal of 103lbs is setting yourself up for failure, no matter what you do.

She has a weight loss ticker that measures pounds lost, not goal weight. So she has 103 pounds to lose.

greasygriddle_wechnage

i have no idea what you are eating or what your goals are, you have a closed diary, and that makes it hard for people to give good advise.

1- set a realistic goal. i would start at 1/2 pound per week. that way you are still eating.
2- find out what your correct BMR and TDEE are. search it on here, lot's of helpful advise and STAY within that range.
3- your pity party table of one, is already taken, so look to yourself, get on the horse, find a REALISTIC exercise you like, and GO TO TOWN!
:drinker: :glasses:

jdploki70

One of the biggest things that helped me along the way was to change my eating habits in tiny increments instead of everything all at once. Most people don't do well with huge changes to their lives, especially when so little is under their control. By altering small factors of my diet and exercise plans I was able to really change my habits. For instance, instead of eating a huge candy bar when I had a chocolate craving, I had a hershey's kiss or similar small chocolate candy, and then only one. I swapped the normal white rice I used with instant brown rice (which has many more nutrients in it and is just as filling). I eat a salad every night with light dressing and tomatoes (about 70 calories total) to fill me up a bit before dinner, so I don't go back for seconds of much heavier foods. One of the biggest things I changed was just to avoid the kitchen when I wasn't cooking. Other changes, like drinking coke zero and whiskey instead of beer, followed. Because of my changes I sometimes have a hard time eating enough to reach the minimum instead of the other way around.

The point is, it's all about baby steps. If you don't have the willpower to change everything about your life overnight, and very few of us do, you can change very small things which add up to making a big difference over time.

JConstine

You had the strength to start in the first place which is the hardest thing to do IMO.

I lost 10 pounds last year after August and gained 11 after Christmas, New Years, Valentine's Day. I wanted to give up but then I remembered all the reasons I started. I took it really slow in March and gradually eliminated my problem foods when, by late April, I could go without them because I found healthier alternatives. Going at my own pace and keeping my own goals in mind led to a 9 pounds loss in that time frame and I'm just getting started.

You can do this! It will be really hard and you may have to mess up a few more times to know what is best for you. It's frustrating but it's when we make mistakes that we really learn how to move forward. I don't think I would have pushed my fitness level so hard if I didn't make those big mistakes. It will work out as long as you don't give up.

cmriverside

It was really helpful for me to keep a journal. I have mine on my computer. I wrote in it for months, trying to get a grip on the emotional side of overeating. It may be helpful for you to try. You'll be amazed at the stuff you learn about yourself.

JB5349

Today is day one!

Don't let the scale dictate your success or failure. I only weigh myself once every three weeks. It sounds really dumb but when I weigh myself more often, I let get discouraged by what the scale says. Then go on a four or five day bender and eat anything I can find, feel guilty then eat more because well I have ruined my progress might as well have more whatever it is that I am craving at that time. The most important thing to realize that this is a way of life sometimes you are going to want to have the cake, ice-cream or chinese food, other days you will want to stay in check because it is better for you. I feel better when I eat healthier, i have more energy.

I have been trying to weigh my success in things that I can do, such as being able to hike 2 hours and it is a rigorous hike, recover quicker after I do some cardio or be satisfied with less. I also make drinking the water a challenge everyday as well to try to drink even an ounce more. Measurements are key as well.... sometimes the scale is not a fair representation of what I have done and will continue to achieve. These are that things that I measure not just the numbers on the scale.


You can do this, I have faith in you. So you screwed up yesterday or the day before.... start today and look forward to tomorrow. I like logging the exercise calories - that is my drug of choice now it is not how many pounds or ounces I am down. Now that I have taken that stress off myself I am making gains.

And if you have a day that you are over there is always tomorrow - as long as that is the day that you keep in check. I know in my heart that you can do this, it is not an easy battle for any of us. Take strength from others on here like me who struggle every day to try to eat well and exercise. I still hate running, but I have found something that I love to do(hiking), I crave it and constantly challenge myself to do more. It will come off don't get caught in the numbers on the scale, that is discouraging.

Hang in there, I now know that if I cheat I can but I have to make up the calories somewhere! You can do this!!!!!

SwtMelissa86

you can do it... just take it one day at a time...

JensQi

No such word is cant...;-) I know you can/ "we can":flowerforyou:

iwillberipped

If you say you can't you won't! Having an off day (week) is ok, it happens - you just have to hop back on and make the next day better than the last.

Lefty634

Fail at what? This is life not a contest or game. If you had not lost you would be even heavier just smile at what an awesome job you have done and keep moving forward.

tinkermommc

What they said! I had a bad weekend. It's a new week

MommaKit79

I have failed more times than I care to count. But I'm doing it now, and you can do it too.

For me, the key was to only do what I can handle from now until the end of my life. That means no exercising 5, 6, 7 days a week. I settled for every-other-day, and even that I am not strict with. I also started at only doing 10 minutes of exercise per session, because I was so fat that I couldn't even handle more than that. But I ramped it up to my target now of around an hour per session, and I did so rather quickly - it's amazing how the body improves so fast when you're trying to. And finally, I didn't even track or pay attention to my food at first. I kept eating exactly how I had been. But exercise gave me time to peer inside my mind, and I realized that all the work I was doing would be undone if I didn't at least try to eat better. So I came to it naturally, and from there, I gradually started making better choices, moved away from much sodium-laden, high-calorie processed foods and more towards cooking my own meals and using a lot of fresh ingredients. Then I started tracking here, after already losing around 40lbs, and it's only accelerated my progress. I also don't really dig the idea of spike days or cheat days or whatever you want to call them. If I want to eat chips or chocolate or something, I fit it into my calories (which I have calculated out myself, as MFP is far too aggressive for my liking. Yes, I will lose slower, but I won't be as hungry and I won't fail due to deprivation).

My point is, it's not an instant and permanent change. It's a decision that you have to make every day. I don't know what else to say; just don't give up, and don't look at any slips as failures. As long as you keep inching forward no matter how many times you are shoved back, you'll eventually reach your goal.

^^^^ Very Awesome!!