Just need to get this off my chest

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jnite
jnite Posts: 108 Member
in Chit-Chat
My other half is sick alot, migraines and stomach problems and they both work off of eachother. I feel bad for him and I do sympathize, but sometimes it just gets too much. The fact that when he is sick I am doing EVERYTHING, I get soo frustrated and kind of pissy. We own our own business and have a bunch of things to do at home as well, so it is ALOT of work for just one person. I just may have to hire someone part time to help. I feel bad for getting like this and I know it isn't his fault, but still....
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Replies

  • Warmbloodwear
    Warmbloodwear Posts: 387 Member
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    Im so sorry:flowerforyou:

    I understand.. Ex-husband was the same way and it got to the point when I just resented him and then felt bad cause I was resentful... It just took a serious toll on our marriage:grumble: as well as many other things:laugh:

    My thing was go to the doctor and get help! He wouldn't he just wanted to be like that and depressed...:noway:
  • MrsLVF
    MrsLVF Posts: 787 Member
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    My other half is sick alot, migraines and stomach problems and they both work off of eachother. I feel bad for him and I do sympathize, but sometimes it just gets too much. The fact that when he is sick I am doing EVERYTHING, I get soo frustrated and kind of pissy. We own our own business and have a bunch of things to do at home as well, so it is ALOT of work for just one person. I just may have to hire someone part time to help. I feel bad for getting like this and I know it isn't his fault, but still....
    That's just a bandaid.....Get him to a Doctor, hopefully they can get him better, he sound miserable.
  • therealangd
    therealangd Posts: 1,861 Member
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    Yea, I'd get frustrated with that as well. But definitely hire someone. If it relieves some of your stress.
  • Alice_Liddell
    Alice_Liddell Posts: 78
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    Taking on the roles of ill/caretaker in a marriage can definitely take its toll. It's understandable that you would get frustrated with him and maybe even resent him sometimes. Maybe hiring someone to help with the business is a good idea, but that won't help your marriage. Is he seeing doctors? If not, take him. Help him try to get better. Support him. While it is hard on you, try to understand what he is going through as well. It's likely that he not only feels ill, but he also feels guilty for burdening you.
  • BriskisGrl
    BriskisGrl Posts: 461
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    I suffer from migraines.. It got really bad in the past year.. It effected everything. My husband suggested seeing a chiropractor he heard about through people at work.. It has honestly helped me.. I was taking a min of 3600 mg of meds a day just to get through my day.. I now can take 400 when i get a headache and they are no longer daily. I'm going to see the doc Friday. I haven't been in two months and call tell my neck is out of alignment again.
  • SheilahArnett4
    SheilahArnett4 Posts: 38
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    I am actually filing for divorce on Friday, my husband is bipolar and has violent episodes...
    You can only help those so much who do not want to help themselves.
  • gilliango
    gilliango Posts: 5 Member
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    It sounds really frustrating for both you and your husband. You sound overwhelmed. If you can afford it, I would hire someone to help you. It may also help for you to attend a support group for people with significant others who have chronic disease. The fact that you are able to identify your feelings and a solution is commendable.
  • Helenatrandom
    Helenatrandom Posts: 1,166 Member
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    My other half is sick alot, migraines and stomach problems and they both work off of eachother. I feel bad for him and I do sympathize, but sometimes it just gets too much. The fact that when he is sick I am doing EVERYTHING, I get soo frustrated and kind of pissy. We own our own business and have a bunch of things to do at home as well, so it is ALOT of work for just one person. I just may have to hire someone part time to help. I feel bad for getting like this and I know it isn't his fault, but still....

    You are overworked and stressed. It's hard to be "giving" to someone else when you are spent.
    I agree that it isn't his fault. I hope he sees a doctor and they get to the source of the problem.
    In the meantime, hiring someone part time may ease your stress up enough so that you can be less frustrated and more empathetic with him.
    God bless! :flowerforyou:
  • TheOriginalGinging
    TheOriginalGinging Posts: 171
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    Time for a doctor for sure! Migraines are debilitating. There are meds. Some people get "stomach migraines", too. Until he finds something that works, hire someone.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    I agree with this. He's very lucky to have you.

    On a side note: The perceptions of size in your profile picture freaked me out a little. I hope that is actually a tiny dog and NOT a gigantic cat.
  • Helloitsdan
    Helloitsdan Posts: 5,564 Member
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    My other half is sick alot, migraines and stomach problems and they both work off of eachother. I feel bad for him and I do sympathize, but sometimes it just gets too much. The fact that when he is sick I am doing EVERYTHING, I get soo frustrated and kind of pissy. We own our own business and have a bunch of things to do at home as well, so it is ALOT of work for just one person. I just may have to hire someone part time to help. I feel bad for getting like this and I know it isn't his fault, but still....

    My wife is the same way.
  • meg7399
    meg7399 Posts: 672 Member
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    I couldn't get my migraines under control until I saw a neurologist. This was recommended by the ER after a migraine visit in which they had to give me a TON of ketamine via IV to get it to stop. I got put on preventive medication (as opposed to just getting meds for the actual migraine) and it worked wonders. 5 years later and I am almost migraine free. I still get some from time to time but now they are mild enough to where an Aleve will help. I sympathise with him as when I got a migraine I was next to dead and beyond useless for 24 periods at a time.
  • duplicitous
    duplicitous Posts: 82 Member
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    It sounds really frustrating for both you and your husband. You sound overwhelmed. If you can afford it, I would hire someone to help you. It may also help for you to attend a support group for people with significant others who have chronic disease. The fact that you are able to identify your feelings and a solution is commendable.

    Great advice .
  • kjburgess11
    kjburgess11 Posts: 20
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    You are right and should hire someone. This is a situation where you can't really help your husband until you help yourself first.
  • AlmstHvn
    AlmstHvn Posts: 378 Member
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    Just wanted to share a hug and hopes that your husband's health and your own sanity get a break soon!
  • bbbgamer
    bbbgamer Posts: 582 Member
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    i come here to log my food and exercise......excuse me for not giving a #%@# about this......
  • IveLanded
    IveLanded Posts: 797 Member
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    I feel ya. I am divorced now, but when I was married my husband would get REALLY bogged down come allergy season and it's just so frustrating when there is another responsible grown up in the house but you end up being responsible for everything. It's really mentally taxing.

    Hang in there..........
  • JoshuaL86
    JoshuaL86 Posts: 403 Member
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    You sound like a gem.

    People are getting bent out of shape over this comment, but I kind of have to agree with her. I understand the OP must be in a hard place, however, if I were her husband and I knew she was venting and complaining about me on a website to total strangers, I would be mad. She needs to a) talk to her husband about how she feels, not total strangers on MFP and b) get him help.
  • Sumo813
    Sumo813 Posts: 566 Member
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    My other half is sick alot, migraines and stomach problems and they both work off of eachother. I feel bad for him and I do sympathize, but sometimes it just gets too much. The fact that when he is sick I am doing EVERYTHING, I get soo frustrated and kind of pissy. We own our own business and have a bunch of things to do at home as well, so it is ALOT of work for just one person. I just may have to hire someone part time to help. I feel bad for getting like this and I know it isn't his fault, but still....

    You're definitely a keeper and sometime when he isn't sick, he better treat you to a spa day or something. Hopefully things get better for you both.
  • Im_NotPerfect
    Im_NotPerfect Posts: 2,181 Member
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    i come here to log my food and exercise......excuse me for not giving a #%@# about this......

    So why are you on the Chit Chat board?

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