Just need to get this off my chest
My other half is sick alot, migraines and stomach problems and they both work off of eachother. I feel bad for him and I do sympathize, but sometimes it just gets too much. The fact that when he is sick I am doing EVERYTHING, I get soo frustrated and kind of pissy. We own our own business and have a bunch of things to do at home as well, so it is ALOT of work for just one person. I just may have to hire someone part time to help. I feel bad for getting like this and I know it isn't his fault, but still....
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Im so sorry:flowerforyou:
I understand.. Ex-husband was the same way and it got to the point when I just resented him and then felt bad cause I was resentful... It just took a serious toll on our marriage:grumble: as well as many other things:laugh:
My thing was go to the doctor and get help! He wouldn't he just wanted to be like that and depressed...:noway:0 -
That's just a bandaid.....Get him to a Doctor, hopefully they can get him better, he sound miserable.My other half is sick alot, migraines and stomach problems and they both work off of eachother. I feel bad for him and I do sympathize, but sometimes it just gets too much. The fact that when he is sick I am doing EVERYTHING, I get soo frustrated and kind of pissy. We own our own business and have a bunch of things to do at home as well, so it is ALOT of work for just one person. I just may have to hire someone part time to help. I feel bad for getting like this and I know it isn't his fault, but still....0 -
Yea, I'd get frustrated with that as well. But definitely hire someone. If it relieves some of your stress.0
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Taking on the roles of ill/caretaker in a marriage can definitely take its toll. It's understandable that you would get frustrated with him and maybe even resent him sometimes. Maybe hiring someone to help with the business is a good idea, but that won't help your marriage. Is he seeing doctors? If not, take him. Help him try to get better. Support him. While it is hard on you, try to understand what he is going through as well. It's likely that he not only feels ill, but he also feels guilty for burdening you.0
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I suffer from migraines.. It got really bad in the past year.. It effected everything. My husband suggested seeing a chiropractor he heard about through people at work.. It has honestly helped me.. I was taking a min of 3600 mg of meds a day just to get through my day.. I now can take 400 when i get a headache and they are no longer daily. I'm going to see the doc Friday. I haven't been in two months and call tell my neck is out of alignment again.0
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I am actually filing for divorce on Friday, my husband is bipolar and has violent episodes...
You can only help those so much who do not want to help themselves.0 -
It sounds really frustrating for both you and your husband. You sound overwhelmed. If you can afford it, I would hire someone to help you. It may also help for you to attend a support group for people with significant others who have chronic disease. The fact that you are able to identify your feelings and a solution is commendable.0
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My other half is sick alot, migraines and stomach problems and they both work off of eachother. I feel bad for him and I do sympathize, but sometimes it just gets too much. The fact that when he is sick I am doing EVERYTHING, I get soo frustrated and kind of pissy. We own our own business and have a bunch of things to do at home as well, so it is ALOT of work for just one person. I just may have to hire someone part time to help. I feel bad for getting like this and I know it isn't his fault, but still....
You are overworked and stressed. It's hard to be "giving" to someone else when you are spent.
I agree that it isn't his fault. I hope he sees a doctor and they get to the source of the problem.
In the meantime, hiring someone part time may ease your stress up enough so that you can be less frustrated and more empathetic with him.
God bless! :flowerforyou:0 -
Time for a doctor for sure! Migraines are debilitating. There are meds. Some people get "stomach migraines", too. Until he finds something that works, hire someone.0
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I agree with this. He's very lucky to have you.
On a side note: The perceptions of size in your profile picture freaked me out a little. I hope that is actually a tiny dog and NOT a gigantic cat.0 -
My other half is sick alot, migraines and stomach problems and they both work off of eachother. I feel bad for him and I do sympathize, but sometimes it just gets too much. The fact that when he is sick I am doing EVERYTHING, I get soo frustrated and kind of pissy. We own our own business and have a bunch of things to do at home as well, so it is ALOT of work for just one person. I just may have to hire someone part time to help. I feel bad for getting like this and I know it isn't his fault, but still....
My wife is the same way.0 -
I couldn't get my migraines under control until I saw a neurologist. This was recommended by the ER after a migraine visit in which they had to give me a TON of ketamine via IV to get it to stop. I got put on preventive medication (as opposed to just getting meds for the actual migraine) and it worked wonders. 5 years later and I am almost migraine free. I still get some from time to time but now they are mild enough to where an Aleve will help. I sympathise with him as when I got a migraine I was next to dead and beyond useless for 24 periods at a time.0
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It sounds really frustrating for both you and your husband. You sound overwhelmed. If you can afford it, I would hire someone to help you. It may also help for you to attend a support group for people with significant others who have chronic disease. The fact that you are able to identify your feelings and a solution is commendable.
Great advice .0 -
You are right and should hire someone. This is a situation where you can't really help your husband until you help yourself first.0
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Just wanted to share a hug and hopes that your husband's health and your own sanity get a break soon!0
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I feel ya. I am divorced now, but when I was married my husband would get REALLY bogged down come allergy season and it's just so frustrating when there is another responsible grown up in the house but you end up being responsible for everything. It's really mentally taxing.
Hang in there..........0 -
You sound like a gem.
People are getting bent out of shape over this comment, but I kind of have to agree with her. I understand the OP must be in a hard place, however, if I were her husband and I knew she was venting and complaining about me on a website to total strangers, I would be mad. She needs to a) talk to her husband about how she feels, not total strangers on MFP and b) get him help.0 -
My other half is sick alot, migraines and stomach problems and they both work off of eachother. I feel bad for him and I do sympathize, but sometimes it just gets too much. The fact that when he is sick I am doing EVERYTHING, I get soo frustrated and kind of pissy. We own our own business and have a bunch of things to do at home as well, so it is ALOT of work for just one person. I just may have to hire someone part time to help. I feel bad for getting like this and I know it isn't his fault, but still....
You're definitely a keeper and sometime when he isn't sick, he better treat you to a spa day or something. Hopefully things get better for you both.0 -
i come here to log my food and exercise......excuse me for not giving a #%@# about this......
So why are you on the Chit Chat board?0 -
Do what YOU need to do. You should not suffer for his illness. I have a serious illness also, and get great support from my SO> I never try to take advantage of that and do the best I can do.0
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If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all! geez! some peoples children.....anyway, life is tough, I'm sure you will preserver. Sometimes it helps writing something down and getting it off your chest. good luck to you and be positive.0
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Wow, sorry about all the major judgment you are getting here! Obviously these people have not been through it. My husband is diabetic, and it definitely affects our life together. I am as supportive as I can be, especially by encouraging him to walk after dinner and buying healthy food at the store. We also now hike together on the weekends. It can be draining, but it's the "in sickness" part of the vows -- guess somebody knew what they were doing when they put that in there. Hang in there, hope things get better for you.
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i come here to log my food and exercise......excuse me for not giving a #%@# about this......
That's why it's in CHIT CHAT, fun, and games. You were not forced to come to this post, read it or respond. If you didn't give a #%@#, then you could have kindly moved on and kept your *kitten* to yourself.
To the OP, you are becoming bogged down. I do agree that you should bring your stress to your husband and fill him in on how you have been feeling. Encourage him to see a doctor and hire someone to help you out until you have it figured out. I strongly recommend taking this to your husband though.0 -
My Hubby has had to take care of me for close to 4 years since I was injured in an accident. I'm glad I don't have to see a post like this about me... I agree. If you need help, get some...and I understand your need to vent. But, I think we are spoiled when illness and caretaking interfere with our lifestyles. On the other hand, you might need to think about how it would be if the shoe was on the other foot? You may want to talk to a counselor about how to better handle the situation. There may be ways you would be able to communicate your feelings to him? Best of luck to you! :flowerforyou:0
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Great thread. Will read again.0
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I know you just wanted to vent - and you deserve to! - but has he been checked for food intolerances? I spent most of my life being sick at least once a week, thinking I just had "a bad stomach" or IBS or something, until it occured to me to try some elimination diets. Turned out I have a bad lactose intolerance, and with dairy out of my life, I am SOOOO much healthier and happier.
Food intolerance or allergies could also trigger migraines.
I hope your husband is willing to make the effort to find the root of his illness.0 -
You sound like a gem.
People are getting bent out of shape over this comment, but I kind of have to agree with her. I understand the OP must be in a hard place, however, if I were her husband and I knew she was venting and complaining about me on a website to total strangers, I would be mad. She needs to a) talk to her husband about how she feels, not total strangers on MFP and b) get him help.
You know, I must have missed it. I thought she was paying her a compliment. :indifferent:0 -
Hiring someone will be a huge help to you and your hubs. It sounds like you both have a lot on your plate, even when he is well, and the stress can trigger migraines. Also, explain to him how overwhelming it can be when he is laid up, and that he must go to the doctor to try to get some help.
I had the reverse situation when I was pregnant with my daughter. I was so naseous and sick every day that by the time I got home from work, I really couldn't function. My husband was left to care for our 2 year old and the house. I got some medicine that helped with the nausea, and we hired a housekeeper, but it was still a LONG 9 months.0
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